Inspiration from the Couch
106 episodes - English - Latest episode: 3 days ago - ★★★★★ - 30 ratingsEver wonder what tools and advice psychologists are inspired to use in their own lives? Join Avery, Jamie, and Lucy, three psychologists, and moms, as they discuss what they’ve figured out, what they’ve yet to figure out, and what there’s just no figuring out. Through our stories and pearls of wisdom, we hope we can inspire listeners to connect to themselves and others more mindfully, authentically, and powerfully. It’s sure to be fun, and you may learn a little something along the way!
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Episodes
EP 55: Dialectics
July 21, 2022 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBIn today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the concept of “Dialectics,” which is holding two opposite viewpoints that are simultaneously true. This entails leaning heavily into both-and thinking, rather than getting trapped in either-or thinking. We talk through several “dialectical dilemmas,” including: Acceptance (validation) vs change (problem solving) Emotion Mind vs Reasonable Mind (which equals Wise Mind) Rigidity vs flexibility Lie the Fuck Down vs Get the Fuck Up Bei...
EP 54: Roe v Wade
July 07, 2022 06:00 - 27 minutes - 19.3 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the Supreme Court’s recent decision to overturn Roe vs. Wade. We focus on strategies to manage the emotional distress that this decision has caused for many of us specifically in regard to politically charged conversations, general empathy and concern for others and the future, and the personal relevance of the decision. We touch on strategies to foster compassion as we each navigate our own response to the decision and our interactions with ot...
EP 53: Essentialism
June 23, 2022 06:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBInspiration from the Couch book club returns! Today we are diving into Essentialism by Greg McKeown. The tagline of this book is “the disciplined pursuit of less.” We start by defining both essentialism and nonessentialism, comparing and contrasting these two ways of being. We then explore the core mindset of an essentialist, including choice, discernment, and the reality of tradeoffs. Lastly we talk about the 3-step process for becoming an essentialist: explore, eliminate, and execute. ...
EP 52: Waffles and Spaghetti
June 09, 2022 06:00 - 20 minutes - 14.3 MBWaffles and spaghetti are both delicious, but we aren’t talking about food today. We're talking about personality styles. “Waffles” are more compartmentalized with each task fitting into its own little separate square, and “spaghetti” is a more aerial view of interconnected parts. We touch on problem solving strategies and some communication skills that have been helpful to us as we have interacted with the “spaghetti” and “waffle” personalities in our lives. Do try this at home: Appreciat...
EP 51: You are not Your Job
May 26, 2022 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.5 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about work. We briefly discuss the impact of The Great Resignation on the world of work, share some of our early work histories and what moved us into the world of psychology, and what a “work identity” is. We then talk about the drawbacks of shaping one’s entire identity around career and offer self-reflection questions to help determine whether one is “enmeshed” with career, We also share tips on how to disentangle your self-worth from what you ...
Ep 50: Distracted
May 12, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 22.3 MBIn today’s episode Lucy shares about her biggest current struggle: feeling distracted. She asks Avery and Jamie for guidance on how she can intervene to find more peace and presence. We explore how distraction shows up, both for Lucy specifically and for many of us more generally. We talk about potential culprits for distraction, as well as dive into some specific strategies to help settle our brains and nervous systems so we can be more present in the moment. Do Try This at Home: Read ...
EP 49: Teen Frienships
April 28, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBOne topic that we can’t seem to stop talking about these days is adolescent relationships: with our patients, with our friends who are parents, and at home with our own teens and pre-teens. As a parent, it can be difficult to figure out when to step in, when to step back, and when to step alongside our adolescents as they navigate social dynamics. Recent situations such as the pandemic and the increased reliance on technology for social communication have made connection and interaction even...
EP 49: Teen Friendships
April 28, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBOne topic that we can’t seem to stop talking about these days is adolescent relationships: with our patients, with our friends who are parents, and at home with our own teens and pre-teens. As a parent, it can be difficult to figure out when to step in, when to step back, and when to step alongside our adolescents as they navigate social dynamics. Recent situations such as the pandemic and the increased reliance on technology for social communication have made connection and interaction even...
EP 48: Making Friends
April 14, 2022 06:00 - 30 minutes - 20.8 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about friendships! We discuss changing trends in our friendship networks over time, why friendships are important for our physical and mental health, and what to do if we are spread too thin. We also share tips on how to develop new friendships and deepen current ones. Do Try This at Home: Do a “friendship inventory” to discover whether you have the bandwidth to take on new friends and to examine whether your current network is healthy and fulfi...
EP 47: What's So
March 31, 2022 06:00 - 27 minutes - 18.7 MBJamie, Avery, and Lucy are mixing things up for today’s episode! We start with a beautiful reading called What’s So by Werner Erhard. We then offer some journal prompts, and you can pause the podcast to reflect in the moment, or you can hold on to these prompts for later. Finally we discuss our experiences with the nuggets of wisdom from the reading. Feel free to get your journal and a pen ready, so you can take some notes along the way. Journal prompts: What strikes you about the What’s ...
EP 46: Swimsuit Season
March 17, 2022 06:00 - 27 minutes - 18.7 MBAvery, Jamie and Lucy get pretty vulnerable in this episode. We each talk about our own experiences with diet culture, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. We review some of our favorite sources of inspiration and information on this topic and talk about a few helpful questions to consider: How much space do thoughts about diet and body size take up in your life? If you were able to clear some of that space, what else would you be thinking about? What do you value? What are your top priorit...
EP 45: Less is More
March 03, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy begin our 15-part series on Less is More. Just kidding! We discuss consumption and accumulating vs. decluttering and making do with what we have, the pandemic effects on doing less vs. returning to old, hurried habits/behaviors, overcommitting vs. being intentional about commitments, “luxury fever” and how that affects adults and children, and how to utilize savoring to increase pleasant experiences vs. multi-tasking and wishing for more. Do Try This ...
EP 44: Taking Sexy Back
February 17, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 22.7 MBAvery, Lucy, and Jamie return for a book club episode to close out our series on relationships. We delve into a book called Taking Sexy Back by Alexandra Solomon. We start with an overview of the book, then discuss our comfort with this topic and messages we’ve received about sex throughout our lives. We share our favorite takeaways from the book, including a framework for sexual self-awareness (i.e., making friends with Your Sexy), how we approach sex (i.e., love versus fear; reasons for en...
EP 43: Fighting Fair
February 10, 2022 07:00 - 35 minutes - 24.4 MBIn this episode, we talk about a variety of strategies that help us to fight fair. We start out by going through our “top ten” list: compromising, apologizing and making amends, acknowledging intent and impact, taking one for the team (without keeping score), accessing support from other sources, going to bed angry, taking responsibility, focusing on the issue at hand, listening, and writing it down. Throughout the episode, we review ways that different styles of communication and the variou...
EP 42: Dropping Armor
February 03, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 22.6 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy explore the armors of expectations, complaints, and demands that show up in relationships. We discuss what makes these armor and how they impact our relationships. We talk about the importance of both identifying what we want and need, as well as being willing to express this to our partners. We then delineate and explore two practices that we can use instead: making requests and creating agreements. Do try this at home: Try using the language o...
EP 41: Healthy Relationships, Part 2
January 27, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 22.4 MBToday, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about three key and interconnected ingredients for healthy, romantic relationships -- closeness, connection/emotional intimacy, and friendship. We discuss what it means to be close and connected with your partners, the costs of intimacy, and we give pointers on how to strengthen intimacy and friendship in your romantic relationship. Do try this at home: To foster friendship and connection with your partner, touch base with your partner a few times a day b...
EP 40: Healthy Relationships, Part 1
January 20, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 22.6 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy begin our podcast series on relationships. We start by reviewing changes in romantic relationships and how they have evolved across the decades, major reasons individuals divorce, and expectations that are placed on romantic partners. We then explore the love “chapters” in long-term relationships --- early idealization, fall from grace/disillusionment, and committed/authentic love. Lastly, we get personal and share our own love stories and how we’ve na...
EP 39: Being of Service
January 13, 2022 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.3 MBToday we are talking about service to others: Why do we do it? What gets in the way? We discuss the difference between proactive giving and being "voluntold" to give to a certain cause. We also cover intentional giving, protecting boundaries while giving back, and adopting a mindset of serving. We end our conversation by reviewing different ways that we can get involved in our communities and the advantages of giving back. Do try this at home: Tap into your why. What are your values and h...
EP 38: Comfort
January 06, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 22.2 MBLight a candle, grab a blanket, and get in your pj’s! In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of comfort. We talk about Hygge---the Danish word used to acknowledge a special feeling or moment which involves coziness and comfort. We share what we personally find comforting. We discuss possible downsides to comfort as well as ineffective comfort strategies. We also touch on the topic of “comfort food” and getting outside of one’s “comfort zone.” Do try this at home: D...
EP 37: New Year's Reflections
December 30, 2021 07:00 - 27 minutes - 18.7 MBThis week we start our conversation touching on the practice of setting new year’s resolutions. We have some feelings about this tradition! We talk about the difference between resolutions – which often fail for a variety of reasons – and goals that are more specific and reachable. We end this episode with an invitation to scrap resolutions entirely and instead focus on self-compassion and the concept of enoughness: the belief that we are enough just as we are. Do try this at home: Resis...
EP 36: Wonder
December 23, 2021 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBToday’s episode begins with Jamie, Lucy, and Avery exploring wonder: instances of wonder, how we experience it in the body, the benefits of wonder, and some of the cultural, personal, and developmental factors that impact our experiences of wonder. We identify 6 facets of wonder: openness, curiosity, bewilderment, hope, connection, and admiration, and we explore how creating “packs” in our lives can help facilitate wonder. Do try this at home: Incorporate time in your week to slow down a...
EP 35: Hustle and Bustle
December 16, 2021 07:00 - 26 minutes - 18.6 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy think back to the holiday season last year and discuss one of the things that we missed most: the “hustle and bustle.” We talk about being intentional in keeping the fun parts of the hustle and bustle this year and dropping the not-so-fun aspects of the holiday rush to preserve our mental health. Do try this at home: Enjoy the hustle and bustle. Let the parts you don’t enjoy go. Incorporate flexibility in your activities. Practice self-compass...
EP 34: Joy
December 09, 2021 07:00 - 31 minutes - 22 MBToday Avery, Jamie, and Lucy talk about all things related to Joy. We explore what, exactly, joy is, how we experience joy, barriers to joy, and opportunities for increasing joy in our lives. To help us better understand this topic, we surveyed people with the following 5 questions: How do you define joy? What are some characteristics of joy? Describe your experiences of joy? What brings you joy in your life? Tell me your most joy filled memory. What interferes with joy? Do try this ...
EP 33: Mental Health and the Holidays
December 02, 2021 07:00 - 28 minutes - 19.8 MBFor many people the holiday season is not always the most wonderful time of year. According to a recent survey, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that approximately 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find that the holidays make their condition “a lot” worse and 40% “somewhat” worse. Join Avery, Jamie, and Lucy in their discussion regarding how and why the holiday season can affect one’s mental health. We discuss how stress can arise from a variety of sources i...
EP 32: Traditions
November 25, 2021 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of family traditions. We discuss the characteristics of family traditions (i.e., significance, repetition, and coordination). We talk about the importance of traditions in providing predictability, connection, identity, and as a way to communicate values. We also share how the various types of family rituals/traditions (i.e., connection, love, and community) can be incorporated into our lives and we give examples of our own famil...
EP 31: Intentional Holiday Season
November 18, 2021 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBIt’s time for the holidays! Join Lucy, Avery, and Jamie as we kick off our holiday series with an episode on how to create an intentional holiday season. We explore common problems and complaints about the holidays, identifying factors that detract from a more peaceful and meaningful experience. We discuss how to be more intentional this holiday season, as well as the practice of being curious about what lights us up, what depletes up, and what we want to change to better align with our inte...
EP 30: Being of Power
November 11, 2021 07:00 - 24 minutes - 16.8 MBToday we wrap up our discussion of the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. We have spent the last 3 episodes taking a deep dive into 3 specific practices: Be a Yes, Give it up to Get Empty, and Embrace Naked Reality. In today’s episode, we will explore some of the highlights from the remaining 6 practices Baptiste writes about in his guide to igniting an empowered life. You do not need to have listened to any of the episodes that came before this, nor do you need to have read the book t...
EP 29: Embrace Naked Reality
November 04, 2021 06:00 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MBIn today’s episode we discuss the concept, Embrace Naked Reality, from the book, Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Embracing naked reality refers to challenging the meaning making that we continuously do. Experiences that we have on a daily basis don’t really have an emotional charge to them --- it’s the meaning or the stories that we give to events or interactions that create that emotional charge. Jamie, Lucy, and Avery share their own examples of emotionally charged interpretations/storie...
EP 28: Give it Up to Get Empty
October 28, 2021 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBIn today’s episode we continue our in-depth dive into the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. The book offers 9 practices to ignite an empowered life. Last week we talked about the principle of “Be a Yes,” and today we are focusing on the practice of “Give it Up to Get Empty.” We talk about the excess “bricks” that we carry around, that weigh us down, and that interfere with us being our authentic selves. We identify the following bricks: fear, expectations, fault/blame, stories/interpret...
EP 27: Be a Yes
October 21, 2021 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBToday’s episode marks the beginning of a four-part series. In this installment, we do a deep dive into one of the topics that we found to be most helpful and relevant in the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Avery, Lucy, and Jamie explore “Being a Yes” or “being confident in your ability to turn difficulty into possibility.” We talk about what can get in the way of “being a yes” and focus on a step-by-step strategy to "Be a Yes." Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is require...
EP 26: Perfectionism, Take 2
October 14, 2021 06:00 - 31 minutes - 21.5 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy continue their discussion on perfectionism, which often stems from the belief that we are not enough or not worthy. We discuss conditional statements for worth that implicate perfectionism and explore all the sneaky ways that perfectionism can appear in our lives including school, work, parenting, intimate relationships, our environment, and physical appearance. We then offer several strategies to combat perfectionism. Do try this at home: Make a c...
EP 25: Maybe you Should Talk to Someone
October 07, 2021 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.1 MBOur fifth book club is on Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb. In this episode we provide a brief overview of the book, discuss our own paths to becoming psychologists, talk about which characters we resonate with the most, and explain what we think are the most important aspects of the therapeutic relationship. Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. Do try this at home: Read the book! It gives a window into what t...
EP 24: Treatment Seeking
September 30, 2021 06:00 - 31 minutes - 21.8 MBIn this episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about the mental health field and the process of seeking professional support. We discuss signs of when we might need outside assistance, and we differentiate professional support from friendship. We share about the mental health landscape: types of providers, levels of care, and types of interventions found on an outpatient basis. We demystify the process of choosing and getting settled in with a therapist, and we also examine investment in and b...
EP 23: Perfectionism
September 23, 2021 06:00 - 30 minutes - 20.7 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie discuss perfectionism---the need to appear or be perfect. We discuss the various ways that perfectionism manifests as a trait and in behaviors, share some of our own tendencies towards perfectionism, provide examples of perfectionism across the lifespan and in various activities, and discuss the downfalls and mental health consequences of perfectionism. Do try this at home: Be intentional about doing an activity “half-assed.” Practice engaging...
EP 22: Don't be an Asshole
September 16, 2021 06:00 - 28 minutes - 19.9 MBMost of us are in easy agreement that we should refrain from being assholes to others, yet we often speak to ourselves in harsh, critical, and self-aggressive ways. In today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy explore the ways that people (including us!) are assholes to themselves, both overtly and subconsciously. We talk about how we often speak to ourselves so differently than we would speak to a friend or even a stranger. We identify various Inner Voices: The Critic, The Excuse Maker, The V...
EP 21: Cognitive Load
September 09, 2021 06:00 - 28 minutes - 19.8 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about Cognitive Load. Cognitive load refers to the cognitive energy associated with planning and managing tasks. We talk about our own experiences with cognitive load and offer some validation that the cognitive load of various roles can become quite heavy and overwhelming at times. Next, we discuss how we assess for cognitive load and attempt to distribute it in an equitable way. We end this episode with a discussion of strategies to cope wi...
EP 20: The Art of Gathering
September 02, 2021 06:00 - 30 minutes - 21.1 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. We discuss different topics that are brought up in the book such as the importance of clearly identifying the purpose of why we gather and being intentional about who we include in certain gatherings, where we host them, and how we show up as hosts. As we review the book, we talk about some of our own gatherings and different ways that this book might inspire our future gatherings. Note: No prior r...
EP 19: Nostalgia
August 26, 2021 06:00 - 27 minutes - 19.2 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie discuss nostalgia---the sentimentality for the past, typically for a particular period or place with positive associations. We explore the purpose, pros, and cons of nostalgia, share some of our own nostalgic memories, discuss how nostalgia gets triggered through music, fragrance, and mood states, talk about “retro” things, and discuss how nostalgia can be used as a positive coping tool for self and others. Do try this at home: Try out intentional...
EP 18: Change
August 19, 2021 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.3 MBIn episode 18, Lucy, Avery, and Jamie focus on change, specifically on how to cope with life transitions and changing circumstances in our lives (including both “positive” and “negative” change). We identify some common sources of change, share about our own experiences with and responses to change, and discuss resistance to change. We also explore our favorite strategies for coping with change. Do try this at home: Have compassion for yourself and nurture yourself with good self-care. (Ca...
EP 17: Gratitude
August 12, 2021 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about gratitude! We discuss what gratitude entails, why it matters, and benefits of gratitude (physically, emotionally, and socially). We also talk about what gets in the way of gratitude, share personal examples of who and what we’re grateful for, talk about disingenuous gratitude, explore the influences of media and consumerism on gratitude, and discuss ways to incorporate more gratitude practices into our lives. Lastly, we encourage our listene...
EP 16: Speaking Truth
August 05, 2021 06:00 - 29 minutes - 20.3 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about speaking the truth. We start our conversation by talking about what happens to us physically and emotionally when we don’t tell the truth. Even small seemingly insignificant lies can impact how we feel about ourselves and how we show up in our relationships with others, but the desire to please or keep the peace can interfere with telling the truth. We talk about how we determine when truth needs to be spoken in our own lives and how trut...
EP 15: The F*ck It Diet
July 29, 2021 05:00 - 29 minutes - 20.3 MBOur third book club episode is on The F*ck It Diet by Caroline Dooner. In this episode we provide an overview of the book and discuss key takeaways that resonated most with each of us (e.g., trust your body, the crisis/famine state we put our bodies in when we diet, the power of making all foods legal). We share about our own relationships with food and our bodies. We also debrief on our #liethefuckdown challenge, inspired by Dooner’s recommendation to lie down for 10 minutes/day. Note: No...
EP 14: Aging
July 22, 2021 08:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about getting older! We reflect on what it’s been like for us personally as we go through our middle age stage of life---physically, emotionally, and socially. We discuss society’s view of aging including some of the negative stereotypes associated with aging and how many of us have internalized negative messages about aging. We also explore resistance to aging versus embracing aging, and share our own fears and excitement about getting older. D...
EP 13: Compassion
July 15, 2021 08:00 - 29 minutes - 20.5 MBCompassion (and more specifically self-compassion) is THE Secret Sauce in thriving and in living with peace and ease. Join Lucy, Jamie, and Avery as we talk about why compassion is so important, our experiences with compassion, barriers to compassion, and how we can practice integrating self-compassion into our lives. In this episode we discuss: What is compassion? And what is the opposite of compassion? (Spoiler alert: the opposite of compassion is self-judgment/self-aggression!) Pri...
EP 12: Curiosity
July 08, 2021 08:00 - 23 minutes - 16 MBCuriosity is living from a state of inquiry. There is a closing off that happens when we feel like we have to have it all figured out or when we feel like we have to be the expert. Curiosity fosters openness and acceptance and is an important tool when engaging in the present and in thinking about the future. Curiosity can give us the space to learn and grow. In this episode, we talk about how to foster curiosity, what can interfere with curiosity, and how curiosity can help us to connect to...
EP 11: Anxiety
July 01, 2021 08:00 - 27 minutes - 19 MBAnxiety disorders affect approximately 18% of the population. Apart from diagnosed anxiety disorders, anxiety symptoms affect most, if not all, of us from time to time. Anxiety isn’t all bad. The ability to look ahead and avoid negative consequences is very helpful and keeps us safe. However, worry is not always helpful and sometimes just causes emotional discomfort. Many situations can cause an increase in anxiety (e.g., the recent pandemic experience and flying on airplanes). Anxiety can ...
EP 10: Untamed
June 24, 2021 08:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBOur second book club episode is on Untamed by Glennon Doyle. In this episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery explore Glennon’s 4 Keys to Freedom: 1) Feel it All, 2) Be Still and Know, 3) Dare to Imagine, and 4) Build and Burn. We also highlight our favorite nuggets of wisdom about parenting that Glennon shares in Untamed. Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. In this episode we discuss: Key 1: Feel it All {Pain vs suffering; how we avo...
EP 9: Asking for Support
June 17, 2021 08:00 - 25 minutes - 17.5 MBIn today’s episode, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy talk about accessing support. We sometimes get the message that we should be able to do everything on our own, but we all need help sometimes. We talk about how it feels to ask for help, the barriers to asking for help, and the benefits of giving and receiving support. In this episode we discuss: What happens when we don’t ask for help and how asking for help can impact our relationships How it feels to ask for help and what gets in the way of a...
EP 8: Saying No
June 10, 2021 08:00 - 26 minutes - 18 MBIn today’s episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the importance and difficulties of saying no. We explore how to make more room in our lives for things that truly matter by saying one of the bravest words---no. We share anecdotes of our own struggles and successes in this area, review a “personal bill of rights” which provides rationale for saying no, and role play assertive and not so assertive ways of saying no. In this episode we discuss: How we have the right to say no to harmful, h...
EP 7: Do it Afraid
June 03, 2021 08:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MB“Do it Afraid” is one of our favorite mantras, and in today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy explore what this phrase means and how to put it into practice in our lives. We talk about ways that we play it safe and ways that we take risks, as well as the pros and cons of each. We share about how to support ourselves while doing things that align with our goals/values but that terrify us nonetheless. In this episode we discuss: Fear we heed vs fear we challenge How we Play it Safe Why w...