Hello Dysfunction
267 episodes - English - Latest episode: 2 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.7K ratingsChildhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more.
“Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”
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Episodes
17: Are You International?
January 22, 2019 05:16 - 1 hour - 94 MBThis week's episode wishes a happy birthday to MLK, touches on some current political dysfunction, the raising of older kids, the effects of drugs and mental illness on a family. Crystal's unhealthy ice cream addiction and bizarre eating habits, pledge to only steal from big corporations, listeners questions, a couple sleep walking stories and book yourself a Dom TKO ;) Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
16: So Fuckin Majestic
January 15, 2019 10:36 - 1 hour - 93.9 MBThe following are Rob's guy notes: 1. Range rover white girl curves 2. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3. Back page and cryptocurrency 4. Minimalism 5. Documentary disagreements 6. Sexworkers 7. Good karma moments 8. Government fuck ups 9. Face advice 10. Golden showers and rough sex 11. Billy's tomatoes weed plants got busted 12. Pata family crack rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
15: Stay Outta The Creek
January 09, 2019 06:23 - 1 hour - 101 MBDog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
14: God's Well
January 01, 2019 00:57 - 1 hour - 84.4 MBIt's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed children. Have a safe and happy new year. Don't drive drunk. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
13: "Cheese Sandwiches"
December 25, 2018 04:29 - 1 hour - 75.6 MBThis week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holidays xo https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
12: The Playboy Club
December 18, 2018 06:18 - 1 hour - 81.3 MBMental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Pata Fria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood snitching, and good ol' Florida also make an appearance this episode. As always, enjoy. PS- Pata Fria is still NOT a doctor. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
11: Gramma's Heart Attack
December 11, 2018 06:02 - 1 hour - 86.5 MBThis week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new). Of course the mood is lightened with some of Pata Fria's childhood antics, nail shop preferences, and gramma's "heart attack." This episode does require a trigger warning, as sexual assault is discussed. As always, enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twit...
10: Parental Advisory
December 04, 2018 06:48 - 1 hour - 96 MBThis week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologizing to your children, walking the parent/friend line, and teaching your children gratitude. The girls also touch on dick pics, "porn vs. dom" reality, and as always, listener questions. Enjoy. 💦 Get your holiday t-shirt pack at https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
9: Weird Sex
November 28, 2018 06:20 - 1 hour - 102 MBThe holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on sex-workers, favorite porn, a mirror ghost, and penis size. The girls close out with some listener questions, crazy sex, and a few funny stories. As always, enjoy. T-shirt holiday packs available at https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
8: Curing Rickets
November 20, 2018 00:47 - 1 hour - 88.5 MBCrystal’s father Big Billy is here and the dysfunction is outta control. "I didn't do drugs before I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I just smoked pot, did acid and rode my motorcycle." Buckle up motherf$^#*s…. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
7: I'm A Doctor
November 12, 2018 20:05 - 1 hour - 95.6 MBFrom chemtrails, to California fires, to Pata Fria's burn unit vagina story, this week the girls are on fire, literally. The duo also goes over premature ejaculation, tampons vs. diva cups, racism, and a ghost story. This episode is packed with self-love, and of course some more crying, lol. As always, enjoy.. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
6: Gas Station Salad & Dirty Sanchez
November 06, 2018 08:20 - 1 hour - 90.2 MBThe dysfunctional duo is back, and unapologetically unfiltered while discussing sex dolls, g-spot location, open marriages, liars, and prison relationships. They are breaking it down and dissecting so listen up. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
5: The Stolen Car
October 30, 2018 07:50 - 1 hour - 89.7 MBIt's episode five, and the dysfunction continues. This week the girls are talking about adults that don't do oral, scissoring, pegging, and the time Pata taught Crystal how to drive a stolen car. The girls take some listener questions, give a PSA about trunk junk, and close out with a Dom story. As always, dysfunction at it's finest. 😬🙏 Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunction...
4: Grandma Candy & Pocket Cheese
October 23, 2018 03:29 - 1 hour - 99.3 MBThis week the deviant duo return with even more dysfunction. Vaginal hygiene, loving people while they're here, Halloween, ghost stories and superstitions. Later in the show they answer some listener questions, talk about male hygiene and a Dom story to finish you off 💦… enjoy. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
3: Tether Ball
October 16, 2018 04:26 - 1 hour - 99.9 MBIn this tell all episode Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie open up and share everything about themselves. Secrets are spilled. They discuss mental health, why we (women) settle for the bare minimum, and the difference between pedophiles and cougars. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
2: Dark Web
October 16, 2018 04:22 - 1 hour - 79.9 MBThis episode requires a trigger warning. Serious issues are discussed including domestic violence, sex work/safety, murder, child abusers, and child molestation. The duo also touches on lighthearted subjects; The slut walk, favorite podcasts, birth charts, mental health, and a haunted house story that will definitely change the mood. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
1: Purple Taser
October 11, 2018 00:40 - 1 hour - 108 MBFor episode one, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie come out with a bang. The girls start off discussing Pata Fria's recent BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift), crazy Florida stories, the infamous purple taser, mental illness, medication and Crystal accidentally seeing her dad's package. They also go over Bill Cosby, bullies, raunchy sex stories and receiving electronics from family members that still contain dick pics. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hell...