Dating, Relationships, and Disability
95 episodes - English - Latest episode: 11 months ago - ★★★★★ - 2 ratingsDating, Relationships, and Disability offers strategies, encouragement, and mindset tips on dating with a disability. Episodes feature guidance and practical advice on how to navigate sexual ableism, focus on your power to attract, and develop happy and healthy relationships.
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Episodes
86 - Too Busy To Date?
May 27, 2023 04:00 - 20 minutes - 14 MB“I’m just really busy.” How often have you heard this and have also found yourself saying it? About anything? We live in a too busy world. I sometimes find it being my automatic response when people ask how I am. It’s probably very valid. You are busy. Life frequently offers a lot to us. It can be very hard to say no. But….many times what keeps us busy is not what is most important or will give us the results we really want in our life. Being "too busy" can be an excuse to avoid dating a...
85 - Rejection Survival Guide
May 23, 2023 04:00 - 21 minutes - 14.8 MBRejection is something many people fear, regardless of their ability or disability. I hesitated to put myself out there and avoided pursuing relationships. It took a toll on my self-esteem and held me back from experiencing the joy of dating. In fact, it stopped me from dating for several years. It wasn't easy, but I realized that rejection is a part of life for everyone, regardless of ability or disability. I began to acknowledge that rejection hurts, but it doesn't define me. It's a tempo...
84 - Belief Audit
May 16, 2023 04:00 - 22 minutes - 15.3 MBToday we'll be discussing the importance of doing a belief audit to improve self-esteem and confidence when it comes to dating. We'll be diving into the importance of doing a belief audit and how it can positively impact your love life. But before we jump in, let's define what a thought audit actually is. A belief audit, also known as a thought audit, is the process of examining and evaluating the thoughts and beliefs we hold about ourselves. It involves questioning and challenging the bel...
83 - 5 Things I Stopped Doing That Led to Ultimate Dating Success
May 09, 2023 04:00 - 30 minutes - 20.9 MBIf you have been listening to me or following me for any length of time, you know that what I want most for people is to have success in dating and relationships. I see the mission of my life’s work to move the needle so that people with disabilities or the disabled, whichever you prefer, are more easily viewed and accepted as dating and relationship partners. That’s why we now have the Dating Made Easier membership for people to give people skills and support to make dating more easy and e...
82 - Safety Tips as a Way to Enjoy Online Dating
May 02, 2023 04:00 - 22 minutes - 15.5 MBMany people will not try online dating or maybe tried it at one time, had a bad experience or no experience, meaning no results, and will not try it again. While I will always say, you need to do you and decide what’s best for you, there’s no denying that online dating can be successful for many. According to a 2019 study, around 39% of straight couples and 65% of same-sex couples meet online. I want to encourage you, especially if you’re having trouble meeting people, to consider changing ...
81 - Dating Empowerment Through Happiness and Safety
April 25, 2023 04:00 - 27 minutes - 19.1 MBDating skills are so important for all people, but especially people with disabilities. That's why RADIANT ABILITIES IS COMMITTED TO HELPING PEOPLE, BOTH WITH AND WITHOUT DISABILITIES, TO MAKE DATING AND DEVELOPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS EASIER. When addressing issues surrounding dating and relationships with parents and support staff, collaboration can be difficult and challenging. Some parents or support staff may feel uncomfortable addressing dating and relationships due to a variety o...
80 - Sexual Assault and Disability
April 18, 2023 04:00 - 28 minutes - 19.7 MBThere are some real scary statistics out there about the high rate of sexual assaults on people with disabilities. While they should be discuss every day as a means of figuring out how to bring down this horrendous number, April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month, is a good time to do so. In 2017 the US Justice Department came out with a report that said someone especially with an intellectual disability is seven times more likely to be sexually assaulted than someone without a disability...
79 - Marriage Inequality with Nichole Hastings
April 11, 2023 04:00 - 39 minutes - 27 MBSign up for these workshops happening TODAY (publish date): How to Solve the Dating and Relationship Puzzle Why Dating Apps Are Not Working and What to Do Instead*? Nichole Hastings is Coordinator of Self-Advocacy & Community Engagement Westchester Institute for Human Development (WIHD) and is the Vice president of the Hear Our Voices Self-Advocacy Group And a current Trainee in the LEND programs with WIHD. Nichole Hastings is a pioneer in every sense of the word. Nichole lives indepen...
77 - Dating Disabled Through a Disability Justice and LGBTQ+ Perspective
March 28, 2023 04:00 - 1 hour - 44.9 MBSonya Rio-Glick (she/her) is a queer and disabled Disability Justice practitioner, organizational leader, writer, and cultural worker based in Atlanta. Raised by two moms in Upstate NY, Sonya has contended with complex social justice issues her entire life. In 2013, she began providing disability etiquette and accessibility workshops at COLAGE, the largest support network for people with LGBTQ+ parents & caregivers in the US, which spearheaded a career in social change: in 2015 Sonya relea...
76 - Marco and Dana: Take a Chance
March 21, 2023 04:00 - 53 minutes - 36.7 MBMarco, 36, loves everything to do with cars and working out. His relationship with Dana is my second serious relationship ever. Dana, 44, has three children, and has a property manager for ten years. She now works for the New York state housing authority. She never dated someone with a disability before meeting Marco. They chat with me about meeting on a dating app, Dana getting to know how to support Marco, deciding to live together because they were long distanced, and the unfortunate ...
75 - His Perspective: Stay True to Yourself
March 14, 2023 04:00 - 22 minutes - 15.5 MB“Joey” Pagano, a Central New York-based journalist, columnist, and writer. He recently obtained my masters degree in Cultural Foundations of Education and certificate of advanced study in Disability Studies from Syracuse University’s School of Education. He graduated from Syracuse’s S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications in May 2021, one year early, and am pursuing a career in journalism and politics. Currently a research assistant at SU’s Burton Blatt Institute and a legislative co...
74 - Small Changes for BIG Results
March 07, 2023 05:00 - 24 minutes - 17.1 MBToday I want to focus on transitional behavior change in dating. In this episode, we will be discussing how to change your behavior in small ways to get the results in dating and relationships that you want. Whether you're moving from casual dating to a committed relationship or just trying to work up the courage to put yourself out there, these transitions can be challenging, and changing your behavior can be even more difficult. To start, it's essential to understand that transitional beh...
78 - Why We Date
March 07, 2023 05:00 - 17 minutes - 11.9 MBCheck out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources t...
73 - The Only Question to Ask on a First Date
February 28, 2023 05:00 - 40 minutes - 28 MBI'm sharing a Q & A session from the dating presentation in Episode 72 I gave to the Myositis Association. Malati Marlene Shinazy from the Myostis community dropped a wisdom bomb on the best question - and the only question - you should ask on a first date. We also talk about: Ableism in dating The Promotional Self versus the Real Self in Dating How to disclose a disability Sex versus intimacy Resources Free download: How to Write a Kick Butt Dating Profile and Disclose Your Disa...
72 - What is Essential for Dating: Belief, Plan, Support
February 21, 2023 05:00 - 27 minutes - 19.2 MBListen to a live workshop I gave to the Myositis Association. You'll hear the three essentials to dating with a disability. The simple breakdown is: Beliefs - You have to have a positive belief system about yourself, your disability, and your potential for dating. A Dating Plan - A lot of people want to date, dream about it, hope for it, but don't really plan for it. You need a plan for how you're going to turn your DESIRES INTO ACTIONS. Support - Dating is hard for anyone! You need sup...
71 - A Tinder Success Story
February 14, 2023 05:00 - 55 minutes - 38 MBFor Valentine's Day, I wanted to share a story of a couple living out dating, relationships, and disability. Victoria is a 32 year old woman who was born prematurely with an official diagnosis of spastic diplegia cerebral palsy within her first year. She is a full-time wheelchair user - college educated with a degree in Spanish. Sean is a science writer, maker, cat dad, and halfway decent baker. Originally from Connecticut, he has lived in Knoxville, TN since 2014. He enjoys gaming, comed...
Announcement - Celebrate Valentine's Day With Us!
February 10, 2023 12:00 - 3 minutes - 2.17 MBThis year we're aiming to make dating EASIER for you. Join us for lunch of Valentine's Day, bring a question or dating dilemma you're dealing with, and let us share some solutions with you. Sign up here to join us on Valentine's Day at 12pm EST. Check out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating an...
70 -Deciding Who You Want To Be
February 07, 2023 05:00 - 12 minutes - 8.77 MB“Consult your own heart and decide what kind of person you want to be,” -Chris Lowney, Heroic Living Often when we’re dating and not getting the results we want, ie, not getting dates or people even looking at our profile, it can get pretty discouraging. That discouragement can certainly intensify the loneliness and frustration you feel about dating. This may cause you to think, What else can I be doing or what am I doing wrong? I remember thinking this a lot when I was single and trying ...
69 - You May Not Need Confidence to Date
January 31, 2023 05:00 - 11 minutes - 7.76 MBIf you saw the title of this podcast and thought, Wait a minute, you’re always saying how you need dating confidence. And while i still agree with this, I think one of the ways we grow the most in life is to consider different alternatives to looking at our own ideas so they're not etched in stone. I recently read a great book that i was actually asked to review before it’s published. It will be out on February 23. It’s a business book called Two Weeks Notice by Amy Porterfield, who has been...
68 - Why Dating Memberships
January 24, 2023 05:00 - 21 minutes - 14.6 MBToday is a big day at my company, Radiant Abilities, because we’re taking a deeper dive into our mission of helping “move the needle” on people with disabilities being seen as dating and relationship partners. As I have mentioned previously on past shows, we spent most of last year researching what people with disabilities were experiencing when it came to dating. Here are some highlights we learned: 72% of the people with disabilities interviewed rank dating and relationships as either V...
67 - What’s Possible for You in Dating?
January 17, 2023 05:00 - 20 minutes - 14.4 MBBefore we begin, I want to invite you to a free workshop next week. We’re actually offering two. The first is for people wanting to date, called Three Essentials to Make Dating Easier. In this workshop, you’ll learn how to take overwhelm and frustration out of dating. You’ll learn how to do this by focusing on increasing your dating self esteem, having a dating plan, and follow through. The workshop will be offered at a couple times. Sign up here. The second workshop is for professionals, p...
66 - Three Essentials to Make Dating Easier
January 10, 2023 05:00 - 19 minutes - 13.4 MBDid you know that January 8, which was just two days ago if you’re listening live to this podcast, is the “best” day of the year to be doing online dating? The theory behind this is its due to the combination of New Year’s resolutions and the large number of post holiday break ups that drive people to online dating sites. Apparently, right about now is an optimal time to be online dating because the selection of prospects of dates is higher than usual. However, that’s not at all intended to...
65 - Announcement: Supporting Dating and Relationships
January 03, 2023 05:00 - 24 minutes - 16.7 MBThis is going to be a slightly different episode today. Usually most of the episodes are geared toward people with disabilities and providing dating advice and strategies. Today, I want to turn the attention to professionals who work in disability services, whether you’re a special educator, program coordinator, direct service provider, or executive director. My mission and the mission of my company, Radiant Abilities, is to “move the needle” as I call it so that people with disabilities are...
64 - Making Dating Easier in 2023
December 27, 2022 05:00 - 25 minutes - 17.8 MBWe're going to make dating easier in 2023! Coming in late January, Dating Made Easier, a monthly membership that will teach you dating and relationship skills that will transform you and your dating journey in the following areas: Increase Dating Self Esteem - Learn how to identify your unique Power to Attract the dating experiences and relationships you want. Grow Your Confidence - Develop confidence and achieve your specific dating and relationship goals. Learn Skills to Keep Relatio...
63 - When You Get NO Response
December 20, 2022 05:00 - 19 minutes - 13.7 MBThere are a lot of hard parts of dating - having the courage to put yourself out there, facing the possibility of rejection, getting hurt, having difficult conversations, and the list can go on and on. Sometimes it certainly may not feel worth it, but it is, especially if you want to share your life with someone. Today I want to talk about a dating difficulty that wasn’t on that brief list - putting yourself out there and receiving no response at all. It’s a rejection but not a direct one....
62 - Accommodating for Dating
December 13, 2022 05:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBHow can we change society to accommodate disability? I was recently at a conference in which this was asked of the audience in a workshop on presuming competence and ableism. It got me thinking what if we were to substitute the word society with dating? How can we change dating to accommodate disability? That question in itself may be the rest of my life’s work. It’s huge. It’s the answer to so many challenges around dating and disability. If we accommodated, which I define as people open...
61 - What THEY’RE Thinking
December 06, 2022 05:00 - 14 minutes - 9.84 MBToday I want to flip the script a little. Normally I’m encouraging people who are out there dating and meeting people to focus on yourself, your thoughts, your behaviors, and what you want. All of those things you should definitely do. But sometimes it helps to just consider what your dates or people you want to be your dates are thinking. Remember, a thought doesn’t make anything real. This actually can work to your advantage. One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is how there are defi...
60 - Rising Above Ableism
November 29, 2022 05:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MBAbleism is a system of false beliefs that discriminate against people with disabilities in society and can be quite hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem and confidence. The good news is that you don't need to buy into ableism. Yes, it's out there but it doesn't need to define you. To feel more empowered over the effects of ableism, let's first look at how it has affected you. What are some ways you have dealt with false beliefs related to ableism? How has it affected you in both over...
59 - Being Grateful in the Dating Process
November 22, 2022 05:00 - 10 minutes - 7.32 MBIf you’re someone out there trying to date or even wanting to date and maybe you’re not yet seeing the results you want, it may be challenging to feel grateful for the dating process. When you’re feeling lonely, isolated, and not receiving the attention you are so craving from others, being grateful may very well be the last thing you want to feel. But it could be so helpful. Hear me out on this. According to Harvard Health, “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good ...
59 - Being Grateful in the Dating Process
November 22, 2022 05:00 - 10 minutes - 7.32 MBIf you’re someone out there trying to date or even wanting to date and maybe you’re not yet seeing the results you want, it may be challenging to feel grateful for the dating process. When you’re feeling lonely, isolated, and not receiving the attention you are so craving from others, being grateful may very well be the last thing you want to feel. But it could be so helpful. Hear me out on this. According to Harvard Health, “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good ...
58 - Advocating for Dating
November 15, 2022 05:00 - 13 minutes - 9.14 MBAre you someone who has difficulty dating because of others in your life not being receptive to the idea of you dating? I continue to hear about this happening. The supports in someone’s life are just not open to the idea of dating. They say no, you can’t date, even though they have no authority to do this. Keep in mind, in most states, even legal guardianship, doesn’t give someone the authority to do this. But it can be hard when the people in your life don’t support, and hence, don’t do a...
58 - Advocating for Dating
November 15, 2022 05:00 - 13 minutes - 9.14 MBAre you someone who has difficulty dating because of others in your life not being receptive to the idea of you dating? I continue to hear about this happening. The supports in someone’s life are just not open to the idea of dating. They say no, you can’t date, even though they have no authority to do this. Keep in mind, in most states, even legal guardianship, doesn’t give someone the authority to do this. But it can be hard when the people in your life don’t support, and hence, don’t do a...
57 - Undoing A Negative Belief
November 08, 2022 05:00 - 13 minutes - 9.46 MBOne of the most significant barriers I have found in both working with people with disabilities on dating and relationships, as well as counseling people is how to undo a negative belief. It can be real hard to do so, especially when you had others give you negative messages, reacted negatively to you, or you haven’t received the results you have wanted in your dating pursuits. Just to explain a little further by what I mean by results. Results are the outcomes you’re looking to achieve by...
56 - The MOST Common Dating Question
November 01, 2022 04:00 - 21 minutes - 14.7 MBThe most common questions people ask when wanting to date is how do I meet people. I certainly wondered about this when I was single. Most of my friends were married and by the time I was in my 30s, I really didn’t want to hang out in a bar. So how do you meet people? I have some ideas. As with much of what I recommend, it involves strategies and you’ll need to actually do it. Familiarity Familiarity sparks friendships and relationships, find activities you would like to regularly parti...
55 - Practicing the Law of Attraction
October 25, 2022 04:00 - 53 minutes - 36.5 MBChris Johnson describes himself as a 42-year-old man in a wheelchair with Cerebral Palsy, He says, "My experience with dating and relationships amounts to a series of unrequited crushes throughout my adolescence and adulthood. I’ve never been on a date or had a girlfriend. In the past two years or so, I’ve really grown emotionally and spiritually, and I feel ready to enter a committed romantic relationship with a woman who’s willing and able to share a life with me. I believe that ableism...
54 - Why Fear and Doubt Can Be a Good Sign
October 18, 2022 04:00 - 14 minutes - 9.94 MBThis may sound in opposition to what I normally talk about when it comes to dating and relationships. If you’re having fear and doubt about yourself in the dating and relationship, that can actually be a good sign. And you’re saying, “Wait a minute, don’t you preach self esteem and confidence when dating and in relationships?” Yes, I do, but having good self esteem and confidence doesn’t mean you’re free from fear and doubt. Sometimes the people who have the highest amounts of self esteem a...
53 - Three Goals To Top Off The Year
October 11, 2022 04:00 - 11 minutes - 8.07 MBIf you’re listening to this around the time that it’s published, we’re newly into the last quarter of the year. It seems every year, although we know October, November and December come every year, we are surprised by its arrival. Did you have plans and goals for yourself this year, maybe around dating and relationships? Was this going to be the year that things finally changed and you met someone? But now it’s October and you’re thinking, “Shoot this is like every other year.” Don’t give ...
52 - The Effects of Ableism on Intimate Relationships
October 04, 2022 04:00 - 32 minutes - 22.4 MBWe're talking about the effects of ableism on intimate relationships. We're talking with my colleague at Radiant Abilities, Alexa Strickland. Alexa is a Mental Health Counselor and Trainer who has researched ableism, sexuality, and intimate relationships. In Alexa's research, The Effects of Ableism on People With Disabilities in Intimate Relationships, the premise was “the purpose of this study is to examine the effects of ableism on PWDs in intimate relationships using the Ableism and Rel...
51 - 8pm and 3am Loneliness
September 27, 2022 04:00 - 14 minutes - 10.3 MBI want to give you a little context because I realize I often refer to “when I was single,” when talking about when I was on the path of trying to date with a disability. I did not meet my husband until just before I turned 39 and we were married two years later. I consider adulthood beginning at 18, so I was single and trying to date successfully for a good 20 years. Twenty years. That’s a long time. Trust me, it felt long in the midst of it. In those 20 years, I had a lot of lonely nights...
50 - What's In Your Dating Tool Bag?
September 20, 2022 04:00 - 25 minutes - 17.2 MBI want to thank the listeners who have already volunteered for the research interviews my colleague, Alexa, and I are doing. We have gotten such amazing insights and information already. If you would be willing to give us 30 minutes to interview you for some research, and yes, you can be sure it will include dating and relationships, sign up here for Kathy and here for Alexa. Now, I have a question for you, as I usually do. Do you have a dating tool bag? Are you saying, Kathy, what the heck...
49 - Do You Really Need A Matchmaker?
September 13, 2022 04:00 - 22 minutes - 15.3 MBI often get messages on social media like this: I’m looking for a disabled woman who wants marriage. Do you know of any honest matchmakers? While my heart goes out to people who have the vulnerability to ask this, I also cringe when I get asked this because I suspect that when someone asks about matchmaking, they are doubting their own ability to attract someone to themselves. Now, before you say, wait a minute, matchmaking works for a lot of people, let me say I know and I agree. My own p...
48 - I Want To Talk With YOU
September 06, 2022 04:00 - 17 minutes - 11.8 MBClick this link to schedule a time to talk with myself or my amazing colleague, Alexa. You can schedule at a time that’s convenient for you. One of my biggest goals is to “move the needle on people with disabilities being seen as dating and relationship partners.” What I mean by that is I want to help not only people with disabilities see and own their worth, ability to attract, and what they offer to relationships, but I want society to see that more as well. If you know my story, you kno...
47 - Get Out Of Your Head
August 30, 2022 04:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBSometimes our own beliefs can be the biggest stumbling blocks to our dating and relationship success. Sometimes we just need to get out of our heads. My friend, Patrick McMullan, is back talking about his experience dating as a man with Cerebral Palsy. Patrick talks about how he did NOT tell his wife about his disability before their first date and why he chose not to tell her. He talks about how he learned to get out of his head and negative beliefs about himself in order to find dating a...
46 - For All The Men Out There
August 23, 2022 04:00 - 31 minutes - 21.5 MBI've been wanting for a while to do a podcast from the male perspective of someone dating with a disability. Today I have another special guest, a friend of mine for over 30 years, Patrick McMullen. Patrick and I first met as college freshman. Both of us have CP, but until then, knew very few other peers with disabilities. We talk about how growing up as one of five kids allowed him to be naturally included in activities. However, because of the CP, Patrick struggled with being different ...
45 - Letting Go of Preconceptions
August 16, 2022 04:00 - 35 minutes - 24.2 MBWhitney Bailey is on a mission to educate society while advocating for the needs of the disabled community and motivating others to maximize their potential. Whitney was born with cerebral palsy. She is a podcast host of Spastic Chatter, a platform meant to feature those in the cerebral palsy community. She gets together with individuals who have CP to have an uncensored chat about what it’s like having this type of disability. Whitney is also the Director of Operations for Diversability, ...
44 - Wise Advice on Dating (Part 2 with Shirley Paceley)
August 09, 2022 04:00 - 21 minutes - 14.8 MBToday we're continuing our conversation with Shirley Paceley, author of SHINING A LIGHT: Creating Pathways to Equity, Safety, Healing, and Justice With People with Disabilities. See last week's episode for the first part of our conversation. One of my favorite parts of the book is a project Shirley shares about the Dare to Dream project. I feel strongly we need to do much more with people with disabilities to encourage them to go after their dreams and even take risks. I talk to Shirley a...
44 - Shine A Light (a chat with Shirley Paceley)
August 02, 2022 04:00 - 27 minutes - 18.6 MBI'm reading a great book, SHINING A LIGHT: Creating Pathways to Equity, Safety, Healing, and Justice With People with Disabilities by Shirley Paceley. Shirley Paceley has worked with people with disabilities for 48 years and has a master’s degree in clinical psychology. Shirley is a published author, international trainer, counselor, consultant, advocate, and visionary. Shirley has co-created a multitude of resources for self-advocates, disability providers, educators, counselors, victi...
43 - Shine A Light (a chat with Shirley Paceley)
August 02, 2022 04:00 - 27 minutes - 18.6 MBI'm reading a great book, SHINING A LIGHT: Creating Pathways to Equity, Safety, Healing, and Justice With People with Disabilities by Shirley Paceley. Shirley Paceley has worked with people with disabilities for 48 years and has a master’s degree in clinical psychology. Shirley is a published author, international trainer, counselor, consultant, advocate, and visionary. Shirley has co-created a multitude of resources for self-advocates, disability providers, educators, counselors, victi...
42 - A Ramp to Hearts and Minds
July 26, 2022 04:00 - 20 minutes - 14.1 MBToday's show is released on the 32nd anniversary of the passage of the Americans with Disabilities (ADA) act. While it hasn't fix all the issues, or even come close, to providing accessibility to all people with disabilities, the ADA has certainly made a crack in the equality ceiling. For many of you, you have never known life without the ADA being the law. For others, like myself, I remember standing in my family's home and watching the coverage on the news of the masses of people with ...
41 - Why We Need Disability Pride in Dating
July 19, 2022 04:00 - 12 minutes - 8.38 MBIn the month of July, we’re celebrating Disability Pride. According to the Disability Community Resource Center, Disability Pride is defined “as accepting and honoring each person’s uniqueness and seeing it as a natural and beautiful part of human diversity.” Disability Pride is an integral part of movement building and a direct challenge of systemic ableism and stigmatizing definitions of disability. I believe we need to bring Disability Pride more into the dating scene as a way of beginn...