54 - Why Fear and Doubt Can Be a Good Sign

This may sound in opposition to what I normally talk about when it comes to dating and relationships. If you’re having fear and doubt about yourself in the dating and relationship, that can actually be a good sign. And you’re saying, “Wait a minute, don’t you preach self esteem and confidence when dating and in relationships?”

Yes, I do, but having good self esteem and confidence doesn’t mean you’re free from fear and doubt. Sometimes the people who have the highest amounts of self esteem and confidence struggle with fear and doubt the most. Many times this is because they’re taking big risks to reach their dreams and it’s scarier than all heck.

The difference with these people is they don’t let fear and doubt stop them. They work through the fear and doubt to keep meeting the new opportunities and challenges to face them on the way to their dreams.

Fear and doubt, in nearly anything, can be a good sign because it usually means you’re growing, changing, and challenging yourself to move forward in life. If you have fear and doubt in dating, maybe that means you’re challenging yourself to get out there, rather than allowing your fear to stop you from doing so.

Make Friends With Fear and Doubt 

It’s human nature to shrink from fear and doubt. No one wakes up and says, “Yes! I’m going to fear scared and doubt myself all day long.” But when we avoid feeling fear and doubt at all costs, even our dreams and what we want most in the world, we’re letting fear and doubt rule.

We don’t make friends with fear and doubt. What I mean by that is we don’t chase fear and doubt away and we don’t hide from it. We just let it be. We have it come to us as a way of understanding why it’s there, much like we would a friend.

I have a few prompts that you could ask yourself to help you be less intimidated by fear and doubt, especially in dating and relationships.

How about just being curious, rather than upset or nervous, by fear and doubt? This helps put you in a state of wonder, rather than anxiety.

Why don’t you ask fear and doubt why they showed up, much like you would a friend? The answer may give you the exact insight you need.

Ask yourself how can I take fear and doubt along with me on this endeavor rather than allow it to stop me? Again, much like you might go on a journey with a friend.

These tips might sound weird to you, but be open to it. 

What do you have to lose if you find fear and doubt are preventing you from maybe putting yourself out there, connecting with someone, or just believing in yourself.

Trust me, when I was confident enough to tell my husband I wanted to get to him more on our first date, I was still filled with fear and doubt. I just did it anyway.

Remember fear and doubt can be a good thing. It means you’re shaking things up and reaching outside your comfort zone. A lot of growth can happen there.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate