Latest Personal572339 Podcast Episodes
Dog Park Perv
Absolutely Not - November 30, 2022 08:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her weekend in Mississippi eating pork rinds & cheering on the Sportz- She hits the Absolutely Not Line to dissect all of your Post- Thanksgiving Drama. You hoes were eating out doing Zero Tipping, talking to pervs in...
DO LESS AUNT REGINA
Absolutely Not - November 23, 2022 08:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is breaking down the pre-holiday anxiety we are all feeling in the back of our throats. The next week is going to be filled with family fights, food sensitivities and lots of farts! Heather walks you through your step by step Holida...
Hot Topic Sweet 16
Absolutely Not - November 17, 2022 02:25 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from a weekend of shows in Florida. She was not invited to Tiffany Trump's wedding but instead spent the weekend slingin' jokes and searching for a new therapist in West Palm. There is something bout that Florida humidity t...
Beam Me Up Scott
Absolutely Not - November 09, 2022 08:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Space Camp, aka a weekend of shows in Huntsville. She met a scientist at a bar that told her we only got a few weeks left- and wondered why can't the aliens fix our heavy periods? "Surely some bitch in outt...
NO SNACKIN' IN THE BACK
Absolutely Not - November 02, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh off her comedy special taping weekend- full of gratitude and adrenaline. She witnessed a fight over a snack break in the back kitchen of a salad joint and was ready to jump in and pop off, if need be. She's back with he...
Harry's Therapy
Absolutely Not - October 26, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has a few biohacks for her early girlies. She hits the Absolutely NOT-line and comes up with a genius idea of how to start a men's therapy group under the full disguise of a man named Harry. Sponsors: Start your 100...
Chili Season
Absolutely Not - October 19, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has a very exciting announcement for the new tour! It's a big one! She hits the Absolutely Not Line only to give life changing advice for a young listener, help a woman keep her job at the gym and navigate what to do if you've dat...
2 Old 4 Da Club
Absolutely Not - October 12, 2022 08:21 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather recounts a scary moment from Trader Joes, how her life flashed before her eyes and why she was mad at Robin. She also hits the Absolutely Not Line- We've got grown men sucking on hard candy while they sleep, children getting ...
Trust the Thrust
Absolutely Not - October 05, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather hits the hotline to answer questions like " Why Kentucky" and " How do I stop scrolling the internet for my ex's"? The fact that folks come to Heather for actual advice is alarming but dammit she's hitting the advice line HARD. ...
BIA BIA MIA MIA
Absolutely Not - September 28, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her trip to Detroit with a new respect for the thin women of Michigan and the attitude of the TSA precheck staff. She hits the hotline and asks the age old questions like "Why dont Boomers drink water?" to "Do people i...
Pulled Pork Party
Absolutely Not - September 21, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hits the Absolutely Not Line and the voicemails are SHOCKING! One caller is getting fired from her job for being with child, while another is out-of-the-blue allergic to pulled pork. It's literally a game of survival. We have deep...
Three Queens and a Mic
Absolutely Not - September 15, 2022 07:22 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back after way too many difficulties joined by best friend of the show, Raymond Padilla. They talk about everything from the royal family to Ray almost losing an arm after his monkey pox vaccination - and Robin joins in a...
Pest Control
Absolutely Not - September 08, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the hotline with some wildly new and improved SCAMMMMS! After a weekend of dealing with Robin's international catfishing fiasco, Heather is on High alert to the tricks and deals y'all are trying to pull. As if we didnt hav...
Bat in the Balenciaga
Absolutely Not - August 31, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the Absolutely Not Line to solve the world's problems. However, after the first voicemail she quickly realizes we need to call animal control. On this week's episode- we've got a lady with a bat in her designer bag, a lady on ...
TABITHA'S TAKEOVER
Absolutely Not - August 25, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has business consultant and friend, Raymond Padilla come to the Absolutely Not Headquarters for a full take over. It's the Board Meeting no one wanted to sit down for, but absolutely needed to attend. We're getting our ducks in a...
Lesbian Low Country Boil
Absolutely Not - August 17, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live from the PANHANDLE of Florida, aka 30A. She is back from Mississippi and narrowly skirted death on the highway, only to have a new lease on life. She is taking no bullshit and dishing out some of the best advi...
Tankini Trauma
Absolutely Not - August 10, 2022 07:00 - 57 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- After a wonderful weekend back in the college town of Athens, GA- Heather is shooketh to her core taking a walk down memory lane- the nostalgia of sorority row, the tequila shots from locals are all flooding back to her hypothalamus...
SAFETY CONE SUMMER
Absolutely Not - August 03, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is wondering if her August invite to the hamptons got lost in the mail? So weird- no one has invited her to stay at their mega mansion while Robin skeets down the long island highway on a crotch rocket on her way to a tj maxx. She hi...
Cleaning the Baseboards of Life
Absolutely Not - July 27, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is hitting the Absolutely Not Hotline to answer your hard hitting questions- like "Why can't we make Tanning Booths a thing again" or "What should I do if I have Alopecia on my head but not my crotch". Heather dissects her own quart...
TWO WEEKS TOO LONG
Absolutely Not - July 21, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her whirlwind year long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed and wildly in love- she is lucky to not be in an italian jail cell after clearly spending TOO MUCH TIME with her husband Jeff. She breaks down ...
TED Talks From a Nobody
Absolutely Not - July 13, 2022 07:00 - 48 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather chats with fellow comedian and newly single pal, Jared Freid. They break down the hard truths of what it's like to navigate show biz, inspire folks with humor and have someone literally NOT be a fan. Jared breaks down his new- on-...
Creep From Bocca
Absolutely Not - July 06, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather sits down with her favorite grumpy old man- comedian Andrew Collin. They dissect his new life living with a lady, reminisce on Spring Break in Destin and he helps Heather understand why Jeff packed a scale in his carry-on. ...
Putting on the Dog
Absolutely Not - June 29, 2022 07:00 - 58 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews the queens of the southern hair empire, Salty Locks, Britt and Amber Harrington. They discuss working with family, a female run business and explain why the alligators near the nuclear plant in Augusta got 3 legs and an...
EAT LAY SHOVE
Absolutely Not - June 22, 2022 19:43 - 54 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her genuine friend, Jackie Schimmel. They discuss their summer plans to move to Europe, Eat all the food, lay horizontal and release their aggression on innocent bystanders through shoving and pushing tourists. It'...
No Passport, No Problem
Absolutely Not - June 15, 2022 07:00 - 57 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has had a fully mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. She has finally turned into one of THOSE brides and is about to hoard the wedding gifts and tell everyone to fuck off. Honestly- she's proba...
Garage Triage
Absolutely Not - June 08, 2022 07:00 - 56 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hits the hotline- only to double down on the fact that women might be the REAL scammers. We've got a lady running an ER out of her garage, A time traveler, a handful of bad drivers and a sweet woman named Abby prepping for a colonos...
"SAUVY B SUNRISE"
Absolutely Not - June 01, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her final farewell tour performance. Just when she thought it was time to get an IV drip of propofol for her medically induced coma, her friends throw her a surprise party filled with drag queens, secrets and snacks! H...
FULLY BOOKED
Absolutely Not - May 25, 2022 07:00 - 55 minutes ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely not podcast, Heather is letting you know, School is out for summer and bitch we are fully booked! It doesn't matter if you are hustlin' as a lifeguard, taking the kids to camp or treating yourself to a hoagie by the highway, Summer 2023 bout to be on a...
Core Memory
Absolutely Not - May 20, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes you down memory lane and drives you right into the "Core MeMories" of your childhood- from the sheer joy you'd feel on a field trip day, to the sadness you felt if your mom was late to chaperone- It's a whirlwind of emotion an...
Sorry You're Detained!
Absolutely Not - May 11, 2022 07:30 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 13.3K ratingsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back south of the border from her weekend of shows in Toronto. After getting held up at the border, listening to a threesome all night and crushing an international Nordstrom- she lives to tell about it- We also have a surprise ...
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