Latest Conflict prevention Podcast Episodes
The elusive perfect answer
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - December 14, 2023 03:26 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWe can have the very best of intentions when we deeply desire the perfect answer. Most of the time, there is none. When we find ourselves with a problem to solve or a situation to deal with we can develop a laser focus, bent on discovering that perfect answer. The only solution. We can expend l...
Jay Hughes on the role of elders in flourishing families
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - December 07, 2023 02:00 - 32 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsJay Hughes is back for a second visit to the podcast. Jay has spent decades devoted to service to families. He has more insights into how to help families flourish than we can cover in a single podcast episode. Today, we are focused on a topic of particular interest to Jay: how elders help famil...
What seeds will you sow now?
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - November 30, 2023 02:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsLast time, I talked about seizing the opportunity to use an annual, or at least periodic, event to check in on ourselves. What seeds have we sown? What are we reaping? f you did check in, and you don’t like what you see, what seeds will you sow now? It would be good to think in terms of seeds: ...
We reap what we sow
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - November 23, 2023 02:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWhen this episode publishes, it will be Thanksgiving Eve in the U.S. Let’s focus on the harvest perspective. We reap what we sow. Annual events – and those that happen more frequently but have a set occurrence – present an opportunity. We can check in on ourselves. We can take a little time to ...
Vincent Valeri on helping rising gens find their own way
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - November 16, 2023 02:00 - 23 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsVincent Valeri helps rising gen members of successful families to find their own way. As they determine what success means to them and how that relates to the broader family, they benefit from Vincent’s experience of having been part of his own family’s business as a young man. You can learn mo...
Reflections on FFI’s Global Conference: Evolving the Conversation
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - November 09, 2023 02:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsEvolving the Conversation: conversation is communication. And communication is essential to handling conflict well: keeping the good kind collaborative and creative and addressing the bad kind before it gets ugly. One research-based presentation I attended was about understanding the very diffe...
Kirby Rosplock on navigating conflict in the family office space
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - November 02, 2023 01:00 - 26 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsKirby Rosplock has honed her expertise in the area of family offices over a number of years. She has written – and continues to write – about insights she has gleaned and has created a learning platform to accompany her consulting practice. We talk about how to navigate conflict in the family of...
Steadfast or stubborn
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - October 26, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWhen we hear the word steadfast, we hear something positive. Especially when applied to ourselves. Strong, committed, loyal perhaps. Stubborn? Not so positive. Particularly when applied to another person. Pigheaded. Unreasonable. Impossible to deal with. How should we navigate steadfast and stu...
The grief behind the grievance
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - October 19, 2023 01:00 - 3 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsThe word “grievance” appears regularly in the context of workplace conflict. In the U.S. and other English-speaking countries, it usually refers to a document filed by a union to raise a complaint of some sort of wrong-doing. Recently, the term “grievance” has been cropping up more and more ofte...
Thank yous past, present, and future
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - October 12, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsI am excited and proud to publish Episode 250. That’s a lot of weeks since January 2019.Big thanks to my audience, guests, podcasting pals (especially Steve, Tania, Curtis, Danny, Heidi, and Matt), my friends and family. Also, all who suggest possible topics and guests. Keep those ideas coming,...
Penny Tremblay on conflict resolution from the inside out
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - October 05, 2023 01:00 - 27 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsPenny Tremblay’s book, Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace, Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out, has an array of insights that can be applied both in the workplace, and beyond. We talk about remembering to focus on our own role in interpersonal conflict. What pushes our buttons may no...
Thoughts on Seth Godin’s “Getting to no”
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - September 28, 2023 01:00 - 3 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsJust plain no can be important and difficult in a valued ongoing relationship. “No, I won’t.” “No, you can’t.” “No, that isn’t going to work.” Sometimes we can’t bring ourselves to believe that the best answer – and maybe the only answer – is no. Other times, we fully recognize that no is th...
Family business LVMH’s plan has a flaw
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - September 21, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsYou may have heard glowing reviews recently of the succession planning at the giant conglomerate and family business LVMH. The founder, Bernard Arnault, has been applauded for how he has worked to position his five children to succeed in the business. Mr. Arnault, a successful corporate raider, ...
Bess de Boer on fear as the main ingredient in conflict
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - September 14, 2023 01:00 - 26 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsBess de Boer is convinced that fear is the main ingredient in conflict. Bess works with people in conflict to see that the other person is trapped in the same predicament, then allowing each person to resurface their vulnerability and feel safe to be themselves. You can learn more about her wor...
Turning the page
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - September 07, 2023 01:00 - 3 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsIn a situation of continuing negative conflict, finding a time to turn the page can be helpful. It can assume different forms. You could use some sort of “marker” to suggest to the other person or people involved that you find a way to resolve the situation. A date on the calendar. A passage of...
When you have little to say
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - August 31, 2023 01:00 - 3 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWhen you have little to say, say very little. You don’t need to share an opinion that creates needless nasty conflict. You won’t convince people by saying the same words again and again. Allowing everyone to speak, especially before you speak again, is a wise idea. Waiting in silence for someon...
Let’s talk about prenups
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - August 24, 2023 01:00 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsMost people don’t want to talk about prenuptial agreements, even if they want one to happen. But they should. When? If parents feel that it would be a good idea, they are wise to discuss the concept with their children long before a potential life partner arrives on the scene. What? Remember t...
Nathan Dungan on money, habits, values, and well-being
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - August 17, 2023 01:00 - 29 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsNathan Dungan and I discuss how Nathan works with young adults and their families to better understand the dynamic between trusts and beneficiaries, prenups as part of an intentional preparation for life as a couple, and how to engage multiple generations to share, understand, and create their m...
Resisting the bait
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - August 10, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWhat should you do about a situation where you are being deliberately baited: in a one-on-one setting, in a small group, or in a polarized family? Don’t rise to the bait! I can see no upside to that and plenty of potential downside. Choose not to avoid the conflict but to resist the bait. What ...
Making a plan
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - August 03, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWe may try to ignore, minimize, or delay dealing with a conflict. And then we can pivot in the other direction and rush to jump into action. Better to make a plan about how to address it. Start with who, what, where, when, how, and why. And perhaps add in a “what if” to allow for the dynamics of...
Two views on mirroring
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - July 27, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsIn 2016, a book titled Never Split the Difference was published by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator. Voss offers nine principles to use in negotiations. One of them is mirroring. In a nutshell, mirroring means using the last one to three words the other person used, without agreeing...
Samantha Drum’s take on high-conflict personalities
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - July 20, 2023 01:00 - 27 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsSamantha Drum has used her experience with high-conflict personalities to hone her expertise and create practical ideas about how to deal with these people effectively. How to identify them. And how to minimize chaos in your own life. Her five-point playbook crystallizes five essential skills th...
Bias about bias
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - July 13, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsEarlier episodes have addressed different types of cognitive biases. They represent shortcuts in our thinking and how we reach conclusions. Now, let’s think about the overall idea of biases. We think of biases as negative – and they certainly can lead us astray. But we can think of them as not j...
Where freedom begins and ends
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - July 06, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsSeveral historical quotes address the question of just how far freedom extends. The most graphic one focuses on arms and noses. In essence, my freedom to swing my arm ends where your nose begins. Circumstances in everyday life have more nuance than that idea. Also, far more typical in everyday l...
Jeff Savlov on talking to young kids about family wealth
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - June 29, 2023 01:00 - 29 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsJeff Savlov has an interest and expertise in how parents can talk to young kids about family wealth. Starting quite young, parents can help children learn please, thank you, I’m sorry, how to clean up after themselves. That last point includes a concept I find wonderfully compelling: the Golden...
Whataboutism
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - June 22, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsWhataboutism is the practice – or even a single act – of responding to a criticism or accusation by claiming that a supposed offense committed by someone else is just as bad or worse. In the interest of promoting rational conversation… Let’s assume for a moment, that you hear something that pr...
Aggressive or assertive?
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - June 15, 2023 01:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsIt’s not news that women can be criticized for language or behavior labelled as aggressive. And that exactly the same language or behavior would be championed as assertive by a man. A little discouraging but I suggest we can approach this challenge. First, as with any sort of bias, we can try to...
Cindy Watson on the Art of Feminine Negotiation
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - June 08, 2023 01:00 - 29 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsCindy Watson’s new book, The Art of Feminine Negotiation: How to get what you want from the boardroom to the bedroom, addresses a key topic in our lives. Her ARE FIT model represents an acronym of six key skills to being a great negotiator: assertiveness, rapport building, empathy, flexibility, ...
The power of “because”
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - June 01, 2023 01:00 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsMy most recent guest, Gleb Tsipursky, talked with me about how to do Return to Office policies right. Our conversation, Episode 229, was published on May 17, 2023. In part of our discussion, Gleb introduced us to the copy machine study. In that 1977 study, people standing in line at a copy mac...
Reactance theory and interpersonal conflict
Crafting Solutions to Conflict - May 25, 2023 01:00 - 7 minutes ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsJ.W. Brehm first proposed reactance theory in 1966. Reactance is the motivation to regain a freedom after it has been lost or threatened, and it leads people to resist the social influence of others. Quoting from the article Understanding Psychological Reactance: “The unpleasant motivational st...
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