Untangle & Thrive Podcast

I want MORE- the compulsivity and impoverishment of MORE

In this episode, we are going to peak around the corners of our desire for MORE. Many of us have shame with wanting more- we have acted out compulsively to buffer the pain of emptiness. We can confuse an anorexic life for a recovering life. And although interrupting compulsive activities, like overdrinking, eating, shopping, sexing is a good thing we can become entrapped in the other extreme, that MORE is bad, dirty, or not available. Learning to become safe enough to receive more from...

How to Break Free from the Imprisonment of Shame

As Jung said, "Shame is the swampland of the soul." Today, I share with you the faces of shame and what we can do to help discharge shame. If you are stuck, often shame is lurking behind the corners of your psyche. Often, we feel like we have to attack and fix our shame, but this punitive response only enslaves it. Helping people learn to untangle shame's unconscious patterning and to find joy with becoming seen, just a little bit, is my life's purpose. Join me!

Lessons of a Holly Tree

Nature has so much to teach us. In today's podcast, I am going to share many lessons that I have learned from wrestling with my front yard Holly Tree. Let's learn how to access our innate nature to thrive with difficult challenges. Join me!

Lessons from a Holly Tree

Nature has so much to teach us. In today's podcast, I am going to share many lessons that I have learned from wrestling with my front yard Holly Tree. Let's learn how to access our innate nature to thrive with difficult challenges. Join me!

Why We Need Imagination to Transform

In today’s episode, I discuss the difference between fantasy and imagination. Fantasy is used to numb anxiety, helplessness, and powerlessness. In contrast, imagination requires us to work with reality and transform our struggles. When we are sensitive, overwhelmed, and immobilized by stress, we need more imagination. Listen today to learn how you can start using your imagination to see your problems differently.

Habits

Today we are going to talk about habits. Habits mean our nervous system has learned something, but NOT always consciously. Sometimes we develop habits that we are NOT even aware of until it becomes a problem or until we UNTANGLE it. Habits are a big part of who we are, And what we do habitually determines who we become in the future. We are going to talk about short-term habit formations and identity-based. Much focus in the self-help and behavioral therapy world is centered around b...

Memories: The Importance of Traumatic Memories and Good Memories

Today we are going to talk about memories- traumatic memories and good memories. When we carry unprocessed trauma in our bodies, we often try leaving it all behind- the bad childhood, the horrible teacher, the bullying, the divorce, etc. But in our attempt to forget, we leave behind the good stuff. Join me today as we discuss what forms of therapy help to process traumatic memories and why this is critistical. Also of importance is how to reclaim the good memories to help us realize ou...

Memories: Traumatic Memories and Good Memories

Today we are going to talk about memories- traumatic memories and good memories. When we carry unprocessed trauma in our bodies, we often try leaving it all behind- the bad childhood, the horrible teacher, the bullying, the divorce, etc. But in our attempt to forget, we leave behind the good stuff. Join me today as we discuss what forms of therapy help to process traumatic memories and why this is critistical. Also of importance is how to reclaim the good memories to help us realize ou...

How to Deal with Feelings

In this episode, we are going to look at how we need a system that can handle all feelings. Most clients I work with want to get rid of their negative feelings. Painful feelings suck, but we need to learn how to allow them, feel them, and move with them. Let's end this challenging year with a sense of humanistic kindness and grace for all our imperfections.

How to Love Yourself Even When A Part of You Screams NO

Most of us have a difficult time celebrating ourselves, even more so out loud or with others. A traumatized body doesn't allow receiving. It screams F*ck you. I can't. I won't. So imagine trying to get this body receptive to loving yourself, celebrating victories, and elevating worthiness. It can't. If anyone struggles with concepts, such as, Love Yourself, Let Go, and Be Proud, join me. As I walk you through the Untangle Method, we will recognize the part of us that can't receive and ...

We Can Do Difficult Things

Today I am discussing the difference between meditation practice and the Untangle Method. They are very different and yet, meditation helps create the space for the method to work. Join me as I break this down.

Difficult Family Members

Holiday Triggers

Today, I am going to talk about triggers and how they can do to help us heal. I know they are horrible, uncomfortable, and fraught with confusion, especially around the Holidays. But we can change our response to them, and by doing so find our songs of liberation, harmony, and joy. In this episode, you will learn: -How to take care of yourself during the Holidays -Why you may be feeling more triggered this Thanksgiving -Triggers are unresolved childhood wounds -How to befriend our trigger...

Enchantment

In this episode we will discuss how marring enchantment helps fire creativity, helping us overcome obstacles. Often, we try to attack our problems from the head alone. Untangling is a process of peeking around new corners to locate resources that have us engage in a journey of reclamation. Join us!

Get Inside of Boundaries

In today's episode, we are going to explore healthy boundary responses.  Many of us assert boundaries from a place of desperation, overwhelm, and I can't handle it story.  We want to understand our automatic responses with boundaries so that we can provide a space of renegotiation but also one of thriving! 

safe enough

How do we become safe enough for a bigger life?  Join me today as we talk about the science of hiding and how to build resources to strengthen courage and bravery!  

Critical Needs

In this episode, I break down 4 critical needs we need to meet resourcefully in order to thrive.  When we don't know how to meet our needs in all our relationships we suffer.  Learning to meet these 4 needs requires skills, artistry, and practice.  Join me today as I help you build a framework to meeting needs in new ways!  

Alchemy

Join me as we discuss how to alchemize a painful, dreaded experience into a neutral one and into a vibrant colorful one.  Untangling is my method to alchemize. And I didn't realize until I shared today in a mastermind group that I had to alchemize my book in 3 Steps. 

Traveling during Covid-19

In this episode, I share my decision to travel to Costa Rica to facilitate a wellness retreat. How did I move from a NO to a  YES.  Was I happy with my decision?  What was the travel experience like during Covid?     We unwind frozen states as we become safe enough to mobilize within a new experience. Join me as we engage in this critical conversation.  

Emotional Trauma

Welcome to this week's episode of the Untangle and Thrive Podcast! In this episode you will learn: What is emotional trauma? How do we unwind emotional trauma? And how do we build emotional resilience?   Take a listen! 

Living on Purpose

In this episode, we are going to deconstruct purposeful living.  We often need a new framework to realize our purposeful life. It is NOT a one-time event, but a process.     Often, when we are stuck or have unresolved relational trauma, we leave behind resources, skills, and talents that can serve us well today.  Part of the job is remembering the good experiences from the past, not the traumatic ones.     Join me! 

Stuck or Dead?

In today's episode, we are exploring how stuckness is deadness and what we can do to transform it.  When we are dead, there is some part of us afraid to come back to life.  Instead of fighting stuckness, let's create an environment to allow it to heal us. Join me!  

Motherhood

My motherhood story started fraught with unresolved trauma.  The insidious cycle of overwhelm tore me into pieces.     Many of us struggle with becoming moms for various reasons, but I find that often lurking behind things are opportunities for deep, rooted healing.     If you are struggling with being a mom, please know you are not alone.  In this episode, I share my challenges and what helped me, continues to help me thrive with the experience. 

Embrace Uncertainty

In this episode, we are going to speak about the dance between certainty and uncertainty. How can met certainty in healthy ways that embrace the "uncertainty" of life.     Learning to let go, embrace emptiness, and embrace uncertainty can make many of us feel uncomfortable. Let like holding on. It gives us a sense of control. However, it also stunts aliveness, surprise, and richness with life.     Join me, as we explore our deeper waters. The part of that knows how to dance inside of mor...

Space with Reiko

Today I am joined with Reiko Gomez, fiReiko (RAY-co) Feng Shui Expert and Interior Designer, starting her business Reiko Design in 1999.   As a trained interior designer from the Parsons School of Design, as well as an advanced Feng Shui specialist certified by the American Feng Shui Institute, Reiko has mastered an approach to physical space that helps clients to overcome obstacles and realize their life goals. We are discussing how our homes offer a key to untangle and re-organize within...

The Language of Becoming

How do we embrace our chaos and disconnection in ways that grow our becoming more in synch, whole with life?  How do we develop a language of becoming to embrace the magical side of life?Join me as we navigate these waters together! 

Permission to Get Lost

Space in-between Christmas and New Years' can be tricky for many people.  I am keeping it short and sweet today.  There is tremendous value in intentionally getting lost. It allows us to be surprised by unexpected joy, awe, and mystery.  I am inviting all of us to "get lost" and create space to circle into your deeper nature.  With that, wishing everyone a safe, wonderful holiday week!

How to Love Again

When love is tangled, confusing, and triggering, we train ourselves to shut down quickly.   However, we stay stuck in life and in our relationships when we don't feel safe to open towards love in healthy ways.   Join me as we explore and navigate opening our hearts to love again and again and again.

Untangle Creativity

Do you believe you are not creative?   How does creativity link confidence?   How can we build more creativity into our problems, clutter, and decision making?   Join me today as we discuss creativity in various ways to help up access more resourceful responses.

Untangle Energy

How do we use the Untangle Method to convert negative energy into creative energy?   How do we use the Untangle Method to convert negative energy into positive, creative energy? It isn’t so much changing your thought pattern but uncovering, discharging, and re-organizing your relational body bond. Join me today to learn more. Join me today!  

Untangle Circles

In this episode, we are discussing how to differentiate between unhealthy circles of hunger into healthy circles of hunger. The Tangled Self is the part of us that becomes stuck in circles of the past. Instead of managing these circles, we want to gather their emotional intelligence.   The Creative Self is also part of the same system but accesses the part of us that wants to stand inside of bigger life circles.   How do we do that?  What is needed?   Join me as a share.  

Untangle Poetry

In this episode, we are going to untangle the ways we get in the way of embodying our poetry.   Let's get out of Thanksgiving drama, or any drama, and set up an environment to thrive.   Let's find the little circles of poetry in our everyday life.  Join me as we navigate this meaningful journey and set up Thanksgiving just a little bit differently.

Untangle "I Can't Handle It"

In today's episode, we are untangling the part of that whispers, "I Can't Handle It."   This part often calls the shots on our life with little to no insight.   As we learn to untangle our tripwires in our system, we create space to build a new experience, growing capacity to claim life powerfully.   Join me as we explore how to separate the I can't part from the part of us that can, the Creative Self.  We often need help re-remembering this part of us that can access creative resources ...

Untangle the Aftermath

How do learn from the aftermath of the election?   How do we reconcile we are divided completely as a Nation?   How do we get out of the noise of "the other" and join forces to unite polarizing views? Our political landscape is bifurcated and unintegrated.   We don't become well in fragmentation.  Now is a time to pick up the pieces, separate out what is real and what is not, and collaborate with each other.   Each side is terrified of the other side.   Each side is stubborn with their...

Untangle Dirty Pain

In this episode, we are going to talk about dirty pain and clean pain.     Dirty pain comingles with shame, ensnaring us into the chaotic waters of shoulding, self-hating, judging.     This pain collapses our Stabilizing Floor of Ok-ness, hunching our spines and carving out our heart caves in ways that exile courage.     Shame pain drains our creative resources.     On the other hand, clean pain is more interested in discovering the roots of what matters to us deeply—the intimate des...

The Part that Wants to Come Out

In this episode, we are going to create a space for the parts of us that want to come out and claim more from life.  We automatically censor parts of ourselves without even knowing it. We live in unconscious agreements to keep these parts away.   At one time, they may have caused us humiliation, neediness, shame, and regret.   We are in a war with our heads. The work is learning how to let them emerge again, take up space, and form our unrealized lives.   When we are punitive, abusive, a...

Untangle One Word

In this episode, we are going to talk about the power one word, one event, or one thing can have over your life.   I will share with you a word that was said to me by my father when I was twelve, the lasting impact, and what I did to transform it.   Join me, work the untangle method on one of your words, and please share your story with me.  

Untangle Boundaries

Why are boundaries so difficult?   In today's episode, we are going to explore why we don't assert our boundaries, and what needs to happen to start asserting them in healthy ways.   Whether it is a boundary with self-care, bottom-line behaviors, or relationship agreements, we NEED a good relationship with boundaries.   Boundaries safeguard our, as well as secure our relationships.   Join me!  

Interrupt, & Why it is Important

In times of interruption, old patterns rise to the surface.  What had previously been submerged are now flying inside us and around us.   You might be finding yourself more anxious, impatient, acting-out, avoiding, or collapsing. Your body may feel like a siren.   Days may feel stuck, heavy, or foggy.   “Relaxing,” “calming down,” or “self-organizing” is not straightforward. What should feel relaxing might be aggravating.   What used to feel energizing might be exhausting. What was previ...

I Dissent

How do we embody greatness during difficult times? How do we take inspiration from others and apply it to our lives?   How do we unite within the brokenness inside of us and with our world at large?   Let's join collectively. Let's dissent.   In a world where women are expected to comply, I dissent.   In a world where love has been kept in a box with rules, I dissent.   In a work where fiction is told as truth and facts are twisted into lies, I dissent.   Let's take the time to form o...

Convert Flames of Chaos into Peace

In this episode, we are going to talk about the fires devouring parts of our country as a metaphor for the internal fires of hate that fuels chaos and destruction.   How do we convert destructive rage into greater connection?   How do we access the deeper wisdom of nature to help teach us?   What are some simple exercises we can do every day?   Join me!   Artwork by rupi kaur  www.untangleandthrive.com

Courage to Run with Frieda Edgette

In today's episode, we are speaking with Frieda Edgette about how to harness skills to run your personal, business, or civic life more effectively.   Frieda is an award-winning leadership coach who formed Courage to Run, a nonpartisan running series and leadership community committed to being healthy to lead effectively in civic life today.   Join us as we discuss leadership skills on mindfulness, savoring, and vision to lead yourself into new experiences.   Frieda has a unique platform t...

Creativity with Deborah Henson-Conant

This week I have an amazing guest, GRAMMY-Nominated one-woman orchestra and harpist Deborah Henson-Conant.     Deborah is a force in her field. She is a performer, composer, mentor, coach, and innovator. Her signature is an 11lb carbon-fiber electric harp, designed specifically for her by the CAMAC Harp Company in France.     She is here to talk with us today about creativity and how we ALL need skills to access more creativity to transform our lives.     Even if you are not a musician...

How to Differentiate and Why it Matters

I am going to explain why differentiating is critical to health, wholeness, and wellness.   Learning to differentiate the chaotic, disorganized part of you from the creative, synchronized part of you is s game-changer.   Instead of attacking our problems, we need to organize within a framework that can separate them, study them, learn from them, and decide which one we want to take us forward in life.   Differentiation leads to maturity, emotional healing, and thriving experiences. 

Ambivalence is a Terrible Friend

Afraid you will miss something better if you commit to a decision?   Sick and tired of second-guessing yourself and living in your head's noise?   Ambivalence is a life stealer and yet so many of my clients live inside it entrapment. They struggle with responsibility and commitment.   Instead of confronting their unconscious fears, they stay on the fence of ambivalence.   Waiting for life to happen.  Waiting to make the perfect decision. Waiting to be rescued. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. ...

Cut the Crap!

In this episode, I am on fire.  I want to scream Cut The Crap People!   We need to stop managing drama and trauma TODAY!  Many of us could be having a HUGE impact on our lives. But we are NOT! We are hiding, avoiding, making excuses, and  managing chaos.  It breaks my heart to see the amazing people I coach cut themselves off from their greatness!   My life has been dedicated to helping people gather a stabilizing floor to cut the crap standing in the way of their purposeful freedom!   ...

How to Access Clarity Amid Chaos

Why is clarity so complicated?  Why is it difficult for so many of us to become clear?     Greater clarity requires radical responsibility.     For many of us, our desires have created complicated issues so we have trained ourselves to disconnect.     When we spend all our time managing disconnection and emotional reactivity, we hide from clarity and spend our life in the disease of vagueness.     In this episode, I am going to help you meet and greet clarity.  Without clarity, we ca...

Keeping Momentum In Challenging Times

When times are challenging, how do you keep momentum?   Momentum is a very masculine word that can mean chasing power, money, and ambition.   But it can also mean someone is deeply connected to their purposeful vision.  In this episode, we are going to tease out these differing experiences.   What does momentum look like for you?  With your body, self-care, money, and relationships?   During challenging times, we need to recommit to what is important, set new goals, and become more respo...

Art, Flowers, & Nature

In today's episode, we are diving into the importance of art, flowers, and nature.   Why is it essential to put ourselves into experiences that blow our minds?   We are going to discuss amazing flowers.   Flowers have MORE senses than humans. They are able to remember, integrate, and respond to threats.   Let's talk about the gritty flowering capacity needed to convert a shame-based experience into a thriving one. 

Befriend Chaos

today I am talking about Harpist, Deborah Henson-Conant incredible grammy-nominated concert, "Invention & Alchemy".    In her concert, she uses stories and imagination to deconstruct the harp to ignite peace, freedom, and belonging.   And how we need to befriend chaos and tune into the instruments of our bodies. When our bodies hold onto unconscious wars, they create chaotic symphonies. We want to align within our body's chaotic forces in order to convert them into sublime harmonics. ...