Grief and Loss: Navigating the Holiday Blues with Lynette Jackson | EP. 40

Have you ever tried to cover your emptiness on the inside? How can we indeed cope with grief and loss during the holidays?

 

The holidays bring joy for many, but they can be challenging for those impacted by mental illness, grief, and loss. We can never control many things in this world, such as life, death, and how people will treat us. And with those things, we can all feel the pain of every single thing that is giving us hurtful memories. And some of us tend to suppress our emotions and be hard on ourselves. We often refuse to give ourselves permission to grieve, cry, and experience the necessary process of grieving to heal. 

 

Thus, we must learn to properly take care of our mental health, especially during moments such as holidays – gatherings where we are prone to distressing memories of heartaches from the people we love. Let us never compromise our worth and be mindful of how we practice self-compassion and self-love. 

 

So, in this episode, we seek to help people find peace to permit themselves to feel a certain way to heal from those things hurting them. And also to encourage people to speak out loud in the marketplace. Join us as we discover other learnings about mental health and how we can help eradicate the stigma behind it. 

 

Today, we're joined by Lynette Jackson, a Marketing Consultant, Owner of Roar Media Group, Mental Health Advocate, and founder and CEO of Roar Media Group. This multi-marketing company has worked with multi-million-dollar churches, small businesses, and grassroots ministries. Lynette has also founded Vision Publishing Group, a publishing company that develops the visions of new authors. She is the author of "Hollow… when everything that means anything is taken away" and is a member of the Speaks 2 Inspire speaker's team.

 

Lynette's book, Hollow, is an eye-opening, heartfelt book sharing the personal accounts of Lynette, a woman who has battled depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and opioid and alcohol addiction to cope with losing everything that meant anything to her.

 

"The verbal was worse than the physical because it seemed like the physical you could remember getting hit and falling on the ground, but it healed. However, it was the words from the verbal abuse that seemed to stay and linger longer." – Lynette Jackson

 

 

Show Highlights:

(00:00:00) Episode disclaimer, highlight, and introduction

(00:01:37) Welcoming today's guest, Lynette Jackson

(00:03:09) Mental health advocate: Who is Lynette Jackson?

(00:05:32) Strong people also struggle.

(00:06:17) How Lynette cope with losing the things that were most important to her

(00:08:46) The chocolate easter bunny: Pretty but empty

(00:10:39) Lynette struggles to look good but feels empty

(00:12:30) Verbal abuse was worse than the physical

(00:14:18) Figure out what's making you empty

(00:15:40) Being filled with the love of God

(00:17:33) Understanding the grief process: The Five stages of grief

(00:22:01) No one can rush you to the grieving process: We can't minimize grief

(00:26:08) Everyone grieves in their way

(00:28:10) How do we find a source of support?

(00:30:13) Know that you're not alone

(00:31:11) permit yourself to get help

(00:33:24) The importance of self-compassion

(00:34:05) The feelings wheel: There were feeling outside being happy and mad

(00:35:35) Never let other people tell you what you do and don't feel

(00:37:05) Suicide Attempt: An option to end the pain

(00:37:45) If you need that support for your mental health, reach out to the National Suicide 

Prevention Lifeline by calling 9-8-8 now. For local and national resources, go to 

http://www.speaks2inspire.com/resources. Join the Unlearn The Lies About Mental Health 

Facebook group: https://bit.ly/UTLcommunity.

(00:38:20) The worst thing we can do is discount someone's feelings.

(00:39:47) Don't just listen: Listen to understand.

(00:41:00) Three Processes of helping people: Feel, Felt, and Found

(00:42:55) Set realistic expectations for yourself.

(00:44:03) Remember all the beautiful memories you have with a long gone loved one.

(00:46:17) Take care of yourself and honor what you need to heal

(00:47:53) What is mental health for Lynette?

(00:49:32) Hollow: When Everything That Means Anything Is Taken Away 

(00:51:45) Connect with Lynette Jackson

Key Takeaways:

"Sometimes it's difficult to see that, those of us who are strong also struggle." – Abraham Sculley

 

"I felt people, friends, family, life lost interest in me. And so, with them losing interest in me, I lost interest in myself. And so, I started this spiral downward to just trying to cope." – Lynette Jackson

 

"Even though the scar will heal, and you may still have a visual that will make you remember you burnt yourself, it doesn't hurt. But the words seem to hurt all the time, and the words will come back up in the future." – Lynette Jackson

 

"You have to look beyond the surface of what you're going through to identify the things that have gotten you there." – Lynette Jackson

 

"The love of God was filling the only thing that helped me in my restoration." – Lynette Jackson

 

"We all have experienced grief in some capacity. But often when we're in it, it's hard to allow ourselves to cope." – Lynette Jackson

 

"Often, when we lose things, we want that turnaround time to be immediate without recognizing we lost something. And I think the other thing to understand is we can't minimize loss or grief because it can look different for every single person." – Abraham Sculley

 

"Everyone doesn't grieve as you grieve, so when they're not grieving the way you're grieving doesn't mean they're not. Everyone grieves in their way, so somebody might go exercise because that's their way of grieving." – Lynette Jackson

 

"Permit yourself to get some help. Go easy on yourself. You have to permit yourself to get some help, and it's okay. Speak up and say I'm not doing well today." – Lynette Jackson

 

"Respect a person when sharing their burdens with you or feeling a certain way. Help direct them to get the help that they need." – Lynette Jackson

 

"One of the powerful tools that we can utilize is being able to validate someone's experience." – Lynette Jackson

 

"We don't know what tomorrow's going to bring. Somebody told me there were over 4,000 promises in the Bible, but tomorrow's not one of them. So, live each day as if it's your last." – Lynette Jackson

 

"I find that when I don't love myself and take care of myself, the files are on top of the file cabinet, and they're not filed properly. And so good mental health is self-care for me because I can't pour out of an empty cup." – Lynette Jackson

 

Connect with Lynette via the following:

Website: https://www.roarmediagroup.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynette-jackson-b1315732/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LynetteTV2020  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lynettetv/ Invite Lynette to speak - order her book, Hollow: When Everything That Means Anything Is Taken Away

 

Unlearn The Lies About Mental Health is Hosted by Abraham Sculley

 

Contact Speaks 2 Inspire to learn about S2I programs: https://speaks2inspire.com/services/. Mental health resources for students: https://speaks2inspire.com/resources/. Connect with Abraham on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abrahamsculley/. Order a copy of Unlearn The Lies https://amzn.to/32B2jRh. Join the Unlearn The Lies About Mental Health Facebook group: https://bit.ly/UTLcommunity.

 

This episode is powered by Speaks 2 Inspire, the mental health solution for young adults 

suffering in silence. Speaks 2 Inspire works with colleges and universities to create and 

implement safe, comprehensive programs for campuses across the nation.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, don't hesitate to get in touch 

with the Crisis Text Line by texting "Home" to 741741 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

by calling 1-800-273-8255.