Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT

How to tap when you let yourself down (Pod #604)

One of the phrases I spend a lot of time tapping on with my clients is the idea that "time is a zero sum game". What I mean by this phrase is that if you are doing one thing you can't be doing anything else. This means everytime we choose to do something, we are choosing not to do anything else. Because this is the case it is very easy to judge ourselves as we look at our past choices. When we look to our past, not only are we able to see how we are investing our time, but we also see al...

How to tap for more than one issue at a time (Pod #603)

When most of us learned the basics of tapping, one of the first bits of advice we received was to "be as specific as possible when you are tapping." Sometimes this is straightforward; the issue is singular and clear, so we know exactly where to start. At other times, our issue involves multiple emotions, and it is hard for us to tell where one emotion ends and the next begins. When this happens, the advice to "be as specific as possible when you are tapping" is difficult to apply, if n...

The tapping script that is written just for you (Pod #602)

Tapping is one of those tools that is simple to understand and explain, but that doesn't mean it is easy to do. The biggest hurdle most new tappers (and even experienced tappers) experience is not knowing what to say when tapping. When we first learn tapping we are guided by a skilled practitioner or teacher who seems to come up with perfect tapping phrases without effort. We can't wait to add tapping to our daily practice. Then we then find ourselves tapping on our own and our mind go...

15 Years of the Tapping Q&A Podcast w/ Brad Yates (Pod #601)

On March 3rd, 2009 the first episode of the Tapping Q & A Podcast went live...and within 90 minutes that same episode was taken offline because of a major editing error. Fifteen years (and 600+ episodes) later, the show is still going. In that time, the podcast has featured wisdom and insights about tapping, healing and transformation from some of the brightest minds in change work. The podcast has been downloaded millions of times and listened to by people in more than 150 countries. ...

Tapping Tool – Self-Coaching (Pod #600)

Tapping is something that is simple to explain, but isn't necessarily easy to execute. We know that tapping success comes from tuning in to the issue and then tapping on the points. But tuning in to an issue can be tricky, particularly when we are in a heightened emotional state. When I am struggling to define what I am experiencing, I reach for a simple tool that I call "self-coaching". It is something you already know how to do, you just haven't realized you can use this approach whe...

Tapping Tool – The wisdom of a mentor (Pod #599)

None of the success that I have enjoyed in my life is something that I have accomplished on my own. My past and present are filled with inspiring teachers and mentors, and I often reach out for help when I am working on a project or task. I have achieved so much more and my life is immeasurably better because of these mentors. That said, I don't always have access to my mentors. They are busy, I can't get hold of them, and some of them have passed away. But just because I can't acces...

How I start every tapping sessions (Pod #598)

Tapping is such an easy tool, that at a moment's notice we jump right in and start tapping. Even though this is the case, I think it is important that we don't rush in too quickly. To help me get the most of a tapping session I have created two checklists that I read through before I start tapping. There is one checklist for when I am doing personal tapping and another for when I am working with a client. These lists are designed to make sure I am fully present to the work I am doing AND...

How to stay on track while tapping (Pod #597)

One of my favorite parts of tapping is the fact that when we sit down to tap, not only do we get a chance to clear and release issues but we also have the opportunity to discover other issues that are deeper under the surface. The cliche that is most often used (because it contains truth) is doing this work is like peeling an onion. As we remove one issue we find another one underneath. This is powerful because it gives us access to deep work that we can do, but it can also be a distract...

The question you must ask before you sit down to tap (Pod #596)

Over the last four or five years I have had a major shift in how I think about tapping. This shift is moving from the idea that tapping is an approach, to tapping being a tool. This realization has not only changed the way I think about tapping, it has also changed the way I think about transformation as a whole. No two rounds of tapping are the same. When I say that, I don't just mean I change the words I am using or I change the issues I am addressing. Instead, one round of tapping mig...

Tailenders – The most value part of a round of tapping (Pod #595)

One of the very first ideas I was introduced to when I was learning the basics of tapping was something called a "tailender". Tailenders are the little (or big) pieces of resistance that speak up when we are tapping. For example I could tap on the phrase "I am going to lose 25 lbs to start the year." The moment I finish saying that phrase, my subconscious mind speaks up with "No you are not. You failed before and you are going to fail again!" It is a tailender because it is something t...

Tapping when you are feeling emotionally beaten up AND how to bounce back (Pod #594)

My daily tapping practice is NOT designed to make my life go perfectly. Instead, it is designed to build my emotional resilience. What I mean by this is that the more emotionally resilient I am when something goes wrong, either it doesn't impact me and my progress OR it has minimal impact on me. Even when we spend time working on building our resilience, it doesn't mean that we are impervious to taking emotional hits. Sometimes, really big things happen which can knock us off our stride....

I want you to feel beautiful – Mini-Tools (Part 5) (Pod #593)

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to live an authentic life. One of the ways I would describe this sensation is being comfortable in my own skin. And when I say I don't just mean comfortable as in not in pain, but comfortable in a way of luxuriating in something I was made for. It is much like a beautifully made pair of leather shoes that have been broken in to fit us perfectly. In 2022 one of the presenters at the Eden Energy Fest was describing their work and sa...

4 questions to end the day– Mini-Tools (Part 4) (Pod #592)

Step into the slipstream – Mini-Tools (Part 3) (Pod #591)

It would be very easy to assume by looking at a group of migratory birds, like ducks, flying in a V-Formation to assume the bird in the front in the leader. But if you watch the flight for any length of time you will notice that the leader changes quite frequently. The bird in the front is not the leader, but instead the one who is working the hardest as the other birds fall into the slip-stream. The slip-stream is the space created behind a moving object that is easier to move through. ...

You should stop saying should – Tapping Mini-Tools (Part 2) (Pod #590)

When working with clients, it is important to listen closely to the words they use and pay attention to everything they are saying. When I do this, I am not just listening to the meaning of the story my clients are telling, I am also paying particular attention to the words they use. This is because we respond to the world emotionally based on the way that we describe it, not how it is. A simple example of this is if someone said, "Everyone at work hates me" If a client says that, emot...

A new way to think about goals – Mini-Tools (Part 1) (Pod #589)

I love goals. They are a powerful way to focus attention and to help us stay motivated to keep taking action. At the same time, the moment we create a goal, we also create expectations. Naming something that we want to happen means opening ourselves up to possible disappointment if we do not achieve the goal. This week, as we start the Mini-Tool Series, I share with you a brief phrase I add to the beginning of all my goal statements that ensures I am not adding pressure to my life by s...

How I designed the 30-Day Tapping Challenge (Pod #588)

This November we hosted our most successful 30-Day Tapping Challenge to date. The goal was to, as a community, do 15,000 rounds of tapping collectively. We ended up doing over 20,000 rounds in the month of November alone AND people keep tapping. You are more than welcome to revisit any of the videos as they will remain on YouTube, where you can access them free of charge. Full playlist This is the fourth year that we have run the challenge. With each passing year, I have spent more tim...

The most important goal of tapping – Healing Fundamentals (Part 18) (Pod #587)

Whenever I start working on a new project, I begin with getting clear on what I want to accomplish. That clarity makes it so much easier to decide on where to start and what steps to take. Tapping is no different. If you know what you would like to accomplish with a round of tapping, then you will have a better idea of where to start. You will approach calming your nerves differently than trying to change a limiting belief. You are using tapping in both cases, but where you start and how...

Letting yourself go there emotionally (Pod #586)

The deeper we get into our study of transformation, the more we understand. We gain a greater understanding of how transformation works, the workings of the subconscious mind, how emotions operate and, most importantly, how we are in the world. This understanding can speed and deepen the healing process because we better grasp the nature of our struggles, and we can use our healing tools more effectively. But sometimes our understanding can hold us back. A combination of all this knowl...

Tapping To Find Your Soulmate w/ Stefan Gonick (Pod #585)

Humans have a basic desire to create connection. For many, one of the types of connections that people long for is a long term romantic partner. Compared with other types of relationships, romantic ones are often harder to create because we aspire to connect on many different levels. When searching for this type of relationship, sometimes we feel like our base attraction is to exactly the wrong type of person. As frustrating as this is, there is good news: We don't have to remain stuck...

Tapping to improve self-esteem and grant ourselves forgiveness (Pod #584)

I am constantly amazed at how we humans are so good at extending grace and charity toward our loved ones in their moments of struggle AND at the exact same time we are poor at offering that same comfort to ourselves. Part of this is rooted in the fact that when we are judging ourselves, we aren't judging what happened…we are judging what happened, what we wanted to happen, and what we think should happen. And we bring all our fears and insecurities to the mix as well. That leads us to be...

The real goal of transformation: Better – Healing Fundamentals (Part 17) (Pod #583)

Whenever I am working toward improving anything in my life, I always have a clearly defined goal in mind. I have found that goals are incredibly powerful tools in helping to create success, big or small. Goals focus our attention, help us to figure out our next best step towards a clear destination, and allow us to measure our progress. At the exact same time, goals can also create pressure and stress. Whether on a conscious or subconscious level, not achieving a goal can lead us to feel...

Tapping to improve your memory w/ Dr. Peta Stapleton (Pod #582)

I was recently talking to one of my clients about how things had been going since our last call. As they were sharing what the last week had been like they asked, "Is there a way that I could tap to help me to remember to tap?" I am happy to say that the answer to that question is YES! Over the last few years a number of research studies have been done to measure the effectiveness of tapping on memory function. Tapping can be used to help our short term memory, long term memory, and to...

It is all an experiment – Healing Fundamentals (Part 16) (Pod #581)

The question I am most often asked by people who are looking to work with me as a client is "How many sessions is it going to take to heal [insert issue]?" I understand the nature of this question, which is rooted in the desire for better, and as quickly as possible. The problem with these questions is there is no way to know the answer. Even if a client is coming to me for an issue that I have worked with many times, there are so many unknown variables that I have to give the pat (and a...

You don't have to know why you are the way you are – Healing Fundamentals (Part 15) (Pod #580)

As human beings, we are talented at learning from our past experience. You can observe this so clearly whenever you spend time with small children who learn from every moment of their experience. They try something one way, then another, and then a third as they are exploring and learning about themselves and the world around them. Of course, this process doesn't end with childhood because our subconscious minds are cause-and-effect learning machines. With every experience we either rein...

Your Difference Is Your Strength w/ Kris Ferraro (#579)

If you are anything like me, then you have spent much of your life feeling like a bit of a misfit. What you think is important provokes the derision or confusion of others, making it hard to live an authentic life because you are caught between who you know yourself to be and what the world is telling you to be. My friend Kris Ferraro grew up feeling like a misfit as well. Now, as an adult and someone who has worked with clients for well over a decade, she recognizes that being a misfit is...

All or nothing in the subconscious mind – Healing Fundamentals (Part 14) (Pod #578)

Because of the nature of the work I do with clients and in my personal healing work, I spend a lot of time thinking about the subconscious mind. Over time, I have come to realize that the superpower of the subconscious mind is its ability to respond in an instant to threat and danger in order to keep us safe. But this lightning-fast response is less useful, and sometimes detrimental, when dealing with complex difficulties that exist beyond a given moment. This week's podcast continues ...

The emotion about the issue – Healing Fundamentals (Part 13) (Pod #577)

I am fortunate enough to have engaged and self-aware clients, many of whom have spent years studying healing and transformation. That means they are often aware of the root causes of their issues and come to me for help because they are too close to clear the issues on their own. Our sessions generally begin with them reporting what they are struggling with, and also what they believe is the root cause. As we start to do the healing work, they are often surprised when we don't immediately ...

The 10% Solution – Healing Fundamentals (Part 12) (Pod #576)

When we are in pain and distress, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, there is nothing we want more than to escape our discomfort as quickly as possible. This desire is so profound that it can lead us to making unhealthy choices, like emotional eating and overmedicating ourselves, to gain short-term relief. The reality is that sometimes total relief is not possible for us in the short term, or even ever. As dispiriting as that can feel, we need not feel hopeless. Years ago, Dan ...

Embodying Grace w/ Lori Leyden (Pod #575)

Lori Leyden has dedicated her life to bringing healing and transformation to those who have experienced tragedy and trauma. Her latest book Embodying Grace captures the tools and approaches she uses to facilitate healing and wellbeing through a spiritual lens. Embodying Grace introduces you to the transformative power of your Heart-Brain-Body connection, the 5 Stages of Embodied Grace and The Grace Process®. These proven methods reveal where you are on your spiritual path and provide a for...

Healing Fundamentals – Stages of Awareness (Part 11) (Pod #574)

When we are in physical or emotional pain and distress, we want to feel better right now. That is a natural human desire, but even though we want healing right away, it doesn't mean healing is going to happen right away. As disappointing as that is, there is good news. Even though healing often takes time, it is possible to identify the stages of the emotional and subconscious process we go through when healing, and understanding that process can speed our progress. Listen to this week...

Stages of Awareness – Healing Fundamentals (Part 11) (Pod #574)

When we are in physical or emotional pain and distress, we want to feel better right now. That is a natural human desire, but even though we want healing right away, it doesn't mean healing is going to happen right away. As disappointing as that is, there is good news. Even though healing often takes time, it is possible to identify the stages of the emotional and subconscious process we go through when healing, and understanding that process can speed our progress. Listen to this week...

You are taking too much responsibility – Healing Fundamentals (Part 10) (Pod #573)

One of my favorite characteristics of my clients is their willingness to take responsibility for what is going on in their lives. When we take responsibility, we put ourselves into a position to create lasting change. At the same time, it is possible for us to take too much responsibility. Taking responsibility for the aspects of our lives that we do not control presents a number of problems. We end up being too hard on ourselves when things go badly, and we spend time and energy trying to...

Your loved ones want you to change (as long as they don't have to) – Healing Fundamentals (Part 9) (Pod #572)

In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at the ways the people in our lives put up resistance when we heal and change. AND I don't mean the people who don't like us or those who are jealous of what we have. In this case I am talking about how our loved ones, sometimes the people who are our biggest fans, can resist and even get in the way of our healing, transformation, and success. This is because the people in our lives want us to change, j...

When the new normal becomes the normal – Healing Fundamentals (Part 8) (Pod #571)

In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at the subconscious mind in a completely different way. When we recognize the ways in which the subconscious mind holds us back from taking positive action, it is almost always in terms of the resistance and fear that come up. While this is true, it is not the only way the subconscious can get in our way. One of the unexpected obstacles to our healing and transformation has to do with the way in which the...

You are a notoriously bad eyewitness to your own experience – Healing Fundamentals (Part 7) (Pod #570)

This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals by looking at why our subconscious mind and memory is faulty. The reality is that nobody has a perfect memory. Even those with a photographic memory cannot remember everything. In small ways, this can be a minor irritant as we misremember small details in our daily lives. These memory missteps can cause miscommunication and inconvenience. In big ways, our faulty memory can cause real issues as we navigate our day. If I misremember so...

If it weren't for resistance, change would already have happened – Healing Fundamentals (Part 6) (Pod #569)

This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with a look at resistance. Just because we know what to do, how to do it, and why it is important to take an action, does not mean we will actually take that action. In order for us to take consistent action, we need to clear as much resistance as possible. In this week's podcast we take a deep dive into why resistance shows up and prevents us from taking action, AND how to clear that resistance so that we can keep taking posi...

Using Tapping in the Correctional System for Trauma, Addiction and Recovery w/ Kerri Rhodes (Pod #568)

The Helping Addicts Recover Progressively (HARP) program at the county jail in Chesterfield, VA is a beacon of hope and light in the world. The program is designed to help inmates who are struggling with issues of addiction to heal and recover so that when they are released, they are able to live healthier and happier lives. One of the many tools taught in the program is Trauma Tapping Technique (TTT), which is a version of tapping created by the Peaceful Heart Network. As part of this...

Operative reality is reality to the subconscious mind – Healing Fundamentals (Part 5) (Pod #567)

This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at how the subconscious mind's understanding of the world influences every choice we make. The subconscious mind is a valuable tool in helping us to navigate the world. It holds all our understanding about how the world works in the form of memories, patterns, stories, and beliefs. This allows us to navigate the world without having to think constantly about our environment and everything we are experiencing. Problems...

FIXED AUDIO The negativity bias of the subconscious – Healing Fundamentals (Part 4) (Pod #566)

This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with a lesson that is critical to understand if you want to clear self-sabotage and take more consistent action. One of the best parts of our subconscious mind is that it is a learning machine. It takes in all of our experiences and uses them to decipher how the world works. The type of lessons it is best at learning are around keeping us safe. The subconscious mind takes note of when something goes wrong and remembers it so tha...

We are always making the best possible choice – Healing Fundamentals (Part 3) (Pod #565)

This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with what I think is the most controversial fundamental of the whole series...at least at first glance. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my clients is when they are berating themselves for all of the times they have made poor choices, even when "they should have known better!" When this happens, they beat themselves up emotionally for being "so stupid" or "weak" or "thoughtless". The reality is we are always making th...

Fear always wins! – Healing Fundamentals (Part 2) (Pod #564)

This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series, where we are covering the ideas and concepts that underlie every part of the healing and transformational process. This week we are talking about fear. Fear has an entire episode dedicated to it because it is the one emotion that is most likely to hold us back. Understanding the evolutionary reason behind fear and why it shows up in the moment makes it much easier to create transformation. In this episode I teach you the hows...

The Information of Emotion – Healing Fundamentals (Part 1) (Pod #563)

It can often feel like our negative emotions are the enemy and it makes sense why. When we experience negative emotions, we feel bad AND they also get in the way of us making better choices in the moment. That is why when Gary Craig created his version of tapping, he called it "Emotional Freedom Techniques" because there is such a strong human desire to escape strong negative emotions. For me, the process isn't just about escaping negative emotions, but also understanding them. Each of t...

What goes wrong if I am successful? – Finding Root Causes (Part 4) (Pod #562)

The fear of success is the single most difficult type of resistance to uncover. I know it sounds strange to fear success, but it is a lot more common than you might think. The subconscious mind may fear success because it is worried that we might have success and then lose it, or once we have it, it becomes hard to maintain, or we will have to keep working really hard (if not harder) to maintain that success, to name just a few scenarios. Because it doesn't seem logical or obvious to f...

"I know you don't know the answer but..." – Finding Root Causes (Part 3) (Pod #561)

After working with clients for many years, I have come to the realization that we are notoriously bad eyewitnesses to our own experiences. We are great at telling stories about our experiences, our past, and our traumas, but unfortunately they aren't always true. This can hinder our transformation because without a clear understanding of our experience, it is hard to heal. We can spend time tapping on issues that feel big and important, only to find out that they have nothing to do with ...

Three lenses for uncovering resistance – Finding Root Causes (Part 2) (Pod #560)

Sometimes we have to do tasks that we just don't like because they are no fun, such as having to scrub the inside of a smelly old garbage can, or doing yard work at three in the afternoon on a hot summer's day. There are other tasks where the reason we avoid doing them is less clear. Hidden behind our reluctance is the key to understanding our resistance to taking action. When we are able to decode our resistance and uncover the hidden meaning behind it, then we have a powerful tool for ...

Two questions I always ask when tapping – Finding Root Causes (Part 1) (Pod #559)

Just because we know what to do, how to do it, and have everything we need to take action, it doesn't mean we actually take action. For me, this is one of the most frustrating places to be because it is clear that I am set up for success AND I am the one getting in my own way. The tricky part of this situation is identifying the resistance hindering us from taking action because it is seldom obvious. We wind up frustrated and confused by our inaction, and then we beat ourselves up for ...

"This or something better..." – My favorite tapping phrases (Part 9) (Pod #558)

As humans, we are great at complaining! And I don't mean that as a put-down because there is a sound evolutionary reason why we excel at complaining. A complaint is a recognition of something that is bad, painful, or distasteful. This is the subconscious mind's way of keeping us safe. When we point out what is negative, it makes it easier to recognize and avoid it in future. The problem is that the subconscious is good at avoiding the undesirable, but poor at finding what is better. Th...

"I give my emotions permission to be heard..." – My favorite tapping phrases (Part 8) (Pod #557)

It is so common to apologize when we get emotional in front of others. You may feel like you are overreacting, or being extra, or that you are burdening the people around you. Awareness of how our emotions can impact others is a good thing, BUT it is also important that we don't just bottle up or suppress strong emotions. In this week's podcast, we are continuing the My Favorite Tapping Phrases Series with the phrase I use for myself and with clients when strong or difficult emotions a...

"AND it does not determine what comes next..." – My favorite tapping phrases (Part 7) (Pod #556)

Our subconscious mind is brilliant at figuring out cause and effect relationships. That is how we learn. If I touch a hot stove and it hurts, I learn not to touch a hot stove again. I smile at someone and find that they are more likely to be nice to me, so I learn that people often reflect my behavior. Because all of this happens at an unconscious level, we don't notice these connections. Instead, we are constantly learning from observation and experience in the background. This is gre...