Solutions for Families
31 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 3 years ago -Parents come with problems and leave with solutions. You will receive practical, researched-based advice on how you can build a strong, more loving family during these turbulent times. If you are ready for less contention and more kindness in your home, this show is for you!
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Episodes
How To Prevent Problems
November 24, 2020 15:51 - 7 minutes - 7.19 MBTalking about things that might occur helps us make decisions in advance. Hopefully, when the time comes to make a similar decision, we will have thought it through and will choose wisely. Preventing a problem is usually easier, and more desirable, than trying to solve the problem. There are several ways we can help prevent problems: Use a kind tone of voice when speaking. Communicate our feelings and let people know how they can help us. Avoid sarcastic humor and eliminate cr...
The Importance of Family Values
November 17, 2020 16:00 - 6 minutes - 5.98 MBWe display our values everyday by the way we speak and act. The decisions we make, the way we use our time, and how we spend our money all reveal our values. The rules we have in our families are a result of our values--the things we think are really important. It’s vital that everyone knows the difference between what’s really important and what doesn’t matter too much. Mentioned on the Show: Solutions For Families Connect with Paula: Facebook: @paula.fellingham Instagram...
Family Rules and Consequences
November 12, 2020 18:13 - 7 minutes - 7.04 MBIn life there are rules--at home, at school and in the community. It’s important to have rules in a family for order and peace to exist. When all family members help make the rules, children take the responsibility of helping to set their own limits. Families should gather together and decide on family rules. Then the rules need to be obeyed by all family members. When children help create family rules and consequences, when they disobey, they are disobeying rules which they on...
Lesson for Families: How to Make Responsible Decisions
November 10, 2020 17:43 - 6 minutes - 5.57 MBChildren learn this best in families when they have many opportunities to make decisions and when parents explain the reasons for their decisions. Young people who haven’t made decisions about who they are and what they want to do in life are the most vulnerable to peer pressure. Inexperienced decision-makers are more likely to rely on others to make their decisions and define their values for them. The Decision-Making Process Identify the problem. List all possible solutions....
Especially For Parents: How To Handle Problems Well
November 03, 2020 14:35 - 9 minutes - 8.64 MBThe choices we make as to how we deal with our problems largely determine our happiness or unhappiness. No matter how devastating our circumstances, we can still choose how we think and how we perceive life. Included in the lesson on responsibility is Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous quote, “No one can offend me without my permission.” We can choose how we react to our circumstances, our environment, and the people around us. Choice is powerful and truly a gift. Even as I write that ...
Lessons for Families: Teaching Responsibility
October 29, 2020 14:39 - 6 minutes - 6.37 MBOne of the most important things we can learn in this life is to take responsibility for our own thoughts, words and actions. An American president’s wife, Eleanor Roosevelt, spoke about this when she said, “No one can offend me without my permission.” We can choose what we think and how we act. When we’re responsible, we no longer blame others, the weather or our memory. Ask: 1. What would you do if you broke something in our home? 2. What if you had a family job to do, a...
Stories and Poems on Communication
October 27, 2020 15:47 - 11 minutes - 10.6 MBMentioned on the Show: Solutions for Families Connect with Paula: Facebook: @paula.fellingham Instagram: @paulafellingham LinkedIn: @paulafellingham Website: paulafellingham.com Subscribe to Podcast
Lesson for Families: How to Communicate Openly, Honestly, Frequently
October 22, 2020 15:21 - 11 minutes - 10.2 MBSometimes we expect others to know exactly what we want, or need, even when we say little or nothing at all. Perhaps unkind remarks by others keep us from being open and honest--we’re afraid of being hurt or embarrassed. It’s very important that family members say only kind, supportive things when someone is sharing their feelings. We should never laugh, or criticize in any way. When we can say what we really think to supportive family members, good things usually happen: ∙ W...
Lesson for Families: How to Listen Well
October 20, 2020 13:33 - 8 minutes - 8.16 MBListening is more than just hearing words. It is trying to understand a person’s message and their feelings. When we listen, it shows that we care. Careful listening also increases our empathy for people’s feelings. When we listen we should: 1. Show we’re listening. 2. Be interested in what the person is saying and concentrate on their words. 3. Never interrupt. 4. Watch the speaker’s body language. 5. Actively listen. As we listen with open hearts and minds to t...
Lesson for Families: How to Speak More Positively
October 15, 2020 14:27 - 10 minutes - 9.58 MBCommunication can be negative (unkind) or positive (kind). When we speak unkindly to one another it destroys the loving atmosphere we want in our home, and it makes family members feel unhappy and unloved. On the other hand, when we speak in a positive and kind way to one another, our family is happier. It is so important to speak positively, because people usually become what they are told they are. Try each day to turn negative comments into positive ones. Remember that any ...
Especially For Parents: How To Communicate Well
October 13, 2020 14:42 - 16 minutes - 14.7 MBIf we can put into practice what we’ve learned about speaking with kindness, and combine it with sharing our hearts openly, and listening with the intent to understand and help, we are on the road to being able to communicate deeply and effectively. Strong relationships are build not on “surface talk,” during which people only discuss the weather or other non-threatening subjects. Usually relationships which stand the test of trials and time are those whose participants are willin...
Lesson for Families: How to Understand First
October 08, 2020 15:00 - 5 minutes - 5.27 MBGood communication is understanding and being understood. In our family we should be able to talk to one another easily. We should know that we can share our feelings in confidence, know that we won’t be laughed at, and feel understood. When we make a real effort to understand before we try to be understood, usually our efforts will be appreciated, our communication will improve, and our relationships will become stronger and more loving. Activity This activity teaches h...
Lesson for Families: How to Serve Others Gladly
October 06, 2020 15:00 - 5 minutes - 5.05 MBService is kindness in action. Service is giving to others; lifting loads and brightening lives. Having an attitude of service means looking for ways to help rather than waiting to be asked. The needs of others are important to those who unselfishly serve. They help people because they care about them, not because they expect a reward. Those who serve others will also benefit--they’ll enjoy good feelings of self-worth and an increased capacity to love. As a family, participate ...
Stories and Poems on Commitment
October 01, 2020 16:01 - 14 minutes - 13 MBMentioned on the Show: Solutions For Families Connect with Paula: Facebook: @paula.fellingham Instagram: @paulafellingham LinkedIn: @paulafellingham Website: paulafellingham.com
Lesson for Families: How to Enjoy Family Traditions
September 29, 2020 13:40 - 10 minutes - 9.26 MBA family tradition is an activity that a family does regularly. Often traditions are so simple that families don’t even consciously recognize them as traditions. Healthy relationships are built on time spent together. Family traditions create opportunities for us to be with one another. As we join together and participate in a tradition, we share our lives in special ways that are unique to our family. Usually, the more we share our lives, the more we care for one another. A f...
Lesson for Families: How to Set Family Goals
September 24, 2020 15:52 - 8 minutes - 7.45 MBDefining our goals will help point us in the direction we want to go. The great basketball player Michael Jordan said, “I visualized where I wanted to be, what kind of player I wanted to become. I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and I focused on getting there.” Helmut Schmidt remarked, “The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity to not dream. ...
Lesson for Families: How to Give Your Family Unhurried Time
September 22, 2020 15:35 - 10 minutes - 9.31 MBQuality time means that when we are with one another we are 100% “there,” focused on family members’ needs and happiness. Quantity time means that we are with our families as often as we can be. This is a challenge sometimes, but when family relationships are truly our highest priority, time needs to be given to those relationships. There is no substitute for unhurried time with our loved ones. Strong families enjoy being together, and they make the effort to plan activities ...
Especially for Parents: How to Commit Your Time and Heart to Your Family
September 17, 2020 17:00 - 19 minutes - 17.8 MBDuring our lifetime we make many commitments. We commit to being educated and to attend school. We commit our loyalty to friends. We commit to bank loan officers, employers and politicians. However, of all the commitments we make in life, commitment to our family is the most important. What does being committed to our family mean? I believe it means that we give our hearts and our time to our family, no matter what the consequences may be. We commit to do whatever is necessa...
Stories and Poems on Kindness
September 15, 2020 16:00 - 15 minutes - 14.6 MBMentioned on the Show: Free Parenting Webinar 7 Step Parenting Course Connect with Paula: Facebook: @paula.fellingham Instagram: @paulafellingham LinkedIn: @paulafellingham Website: paulafellingham.com
Lesson for Families: How to Give and Receive Affection
September 10, 2020 16:00 - 8 minutes - 7.87 MBNone of us really outgrow our need for affection. The outward signs may not be as clear as with small babies, but many people “fail to thrive” because of lack of affection. We all have a need to receive affection if we are to become the best that we can be. We also need to give affection freely so others know we care. People express affection in different ways. Some are more comfortable than others giving and receiving affection. For some it is very natural to give kisses, hug...
Lesson for Families: How to Show Appreciation
September 03, 2020 15:49 - 14 minutes - 13.3 MBCriticizing others not only creates bad feelings, it isn’t a good way to get people to change. It’s a fact that animals can be trained much faster if they’re rewarded for each correct attempt rather than being punished each time they fail. This principle holds true for people, too. We improve our performance faster with praise than with criticism. It seems to be a law of human behavior that how we act is contagious. In other words, if we are kind to others in our family, we r...
Lesson for Families: How to do Kind Deeds (cheerfully)
September 01, 2020 15:00 - 9 minutes - 8.89 MBKind actions are anything we do to make a person’s life easier or happier without expecting a reward. Kind actions show concern and caring. When we show kindness in our family, we’re helping one another feel loved. When people feel loved, they can more easily show kindness to others. Our kind actions come from our thoughts--the desires we have to be good and loving. At the end of each day we should think, “How closely did my actions today match my good intentions to be kind?” ...
Lesson for Families: How to Speak with a Kind Tone of Voice
August 27, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 6.82 MBMany times it isn’t what is said, but rather how it’s said that makes people happy or unhappy. One way to show kindness is to use a gentle tone of voice when we speak. It takes great effort at times, but speaking kindly can become a habit. Our voices carry a great deal of power and send messages to those around us. When we speak loudly and harshly, people around us often feel upset. On the other hand, when we speak kindly it encourages feelings of love, calmness and respect. ...
Lesson for Families: How to Use Kind Words
August 25, 2020 16:00 - 10 minutes - 9.77 MBWhen we speak negatively it focuses our attention on what is wrong with our world and our circumstances. It doesn’t help improve things, it makes our life worse. An unkind remark to another person can range from seemingly harmless to truly hurtful. The truth is, however, whether we’re being simply sarcastic or being cruel, the effects are similar. Both types of remarks leave the giver and the receiver feeling negative and critical. The reverse is also true. When we speak kindly...
Lesson for Families: How to Think Kind Thoughts
August 20, 2020 15:00 - 9 minutes - 8.93 MBKind thoughts are pleasant ideas that lift the soul. They always come before kind words and actions. How we think determines how we act. If we want to become kinder people, the first step is to recognize that kindness, and unkindness, begin in our own minds. We can choose to think good thoughts, no matter what is happening around us. If we’re aware of our thoughts we can better control our words and actions. We need to be aware of what we’re thinking, and try to catch oursel...
How to Show Kindness in Your Home
August 18, 2020 15:00 - 13 minutes - 12.1 MBKindness is the single most important ingredient in a happy home. As I have met with hundreds of families, spoken to numerous groups about family issues, and critically observed families for decades, I have come to know that kindness is indeed a foundational part of every happy home. Without kindness, the money and the time we give our families is meaningless. Where there is no kindness, all attempts at family solidarity are useless. Kindness can be shown in many ways, every day...
How to Create Your Family Mission Statement
August 13, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 6.91 MBA Family Mission Statement is like a family constitution. It is a statement of your beliefs and your goals as a family. It is the definition of the course you want your family to take. Once you have that sense of direction, you can set your long and short-term goals. You have the vision and values that direct your lives. Like all families, your family needs to have a clear understanding of where you are going. When you follow a plan, each day will be in harmony with the vision...
Sample Family Meeting Lesson
August 11, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 7.03 MBLet's talk about a sample family lesson for your family meetings, using gratitude. Today we’re going to talk about gratitude. Gratitude is being thankful for who you are and for things you have. To begin, let’s each name some of the things for which we’re grateful. A man named Dale Carnegie once said, “Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. It isn’t what we have or who we are, or what we are doing that makes us happy or unhappy. It’s wh...
How to Have Fabulous Family Meetings
August 04, 2020 14:51 - 12 minutes - 11.7 MBBuilding a successful family is like building a home. Both need a plan. A successful family based on unity and love takes careful planning, but it’s worth every moment. The best way to be organized as a family is to hold weekly family meetings. By doing this, families enjoy a special closeness and stability. Choosing to spend time with your family sends a message more powerful than words. Memories made together during this time will bond and sustain your family through the yea...
How to Assess Your Family’s Strengths and Weaknesses
July 31, 2020 14:47 - 12 minutes - 11.8 MBThis family survey is designed to help families understand one another’s strengths, weaknesses, feelings and how each person views the family. When all family members honestly respond to the survey statements and talk about the results with kindness, the survey can be a powerful tool for family growth. Completing this survey is an important first step in assessing your family's strengths and weaknesses. Family members need to understand that it is perfectly all right to have dif...
Up Close and Personal with Paula
July 30, 2020 14:44 - 8 minutes - 8.17 MBI know family life can be really challenging. We all want to experience loving, lasting relationships with our children and grow our families to be strong and healthy. But it’s sometimes tough. Raising happy, confident children can be difficult! Trust me – I’ve walked your road, and I’ve felt many of the same struggles that you’re feeling now. The good news is – ANY family can be loving and peaceful. Over the course of 40+ years as a parenting expert I’ve seen even the most broken ...