ShrinkChicks
214 episodes - English - Latest episode: 19 days ago - ★★★★★ - 657 ratingsEmmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT, owners and co-founders of The Therapy Group (@thetherapygrp), bring you the ShrinkChicks Podcast. ShrinkChicks is on a mission to make therapy and therapeutic topics more relatable and accessible. Each Monday, Emmalee and Jen will explore different mental health topics and invite you to sit in on their insight, humor, and knowledge, leaving the psychobabble behind.
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
Confronting Confrontation
April 08, 2024 10:00 - 44 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are confronting confrontation and talking all about how to have hard conversations. They start the episode off by sharing tangible tips to teach yourself that you deserve to take up space in your relationships. Em and Jen then answer listener questions about worrying what the outcome of a conflict/confrontation might be, what to do with the anxious energy you feel when things are unsettled, how to support the people in your life who are non-confrontation...
Avoiding Change? How to Get "Unstuck"
April 01, 2024 10:00 - 43 minutesOn today’s episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen explore the topic of feeling stuck and share their insights on how to move forward! They begin the episode by listing their favorite mantras for when you're feeling stuck or resistant to change. They answer your questions about how to become unstuck, addressing the fear of failure when it comes to change, how to look within yourself for answers instead of going to others, stuckness as it relates to career/work, what to do when you notice a l...
Exploring Gender Identity with Alexander Stefanini
March 25, 2024 10:00 - 41 minutesOn today’s episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are joined by one of their amazing colleagues and friends, Alexander Stefanini, LPC, owner of Arrive Therapy, an all-LGBTQ+ counseling practice that is trans and queer-focused. The episode begins with Alexander sharing his story of growing up transgender and his experience transitioning. Then, Emmalee, Jen, and Alex discuss navigating gender identity, the work Alex does with his clients as well as their parents, supporting a loved one on the...
Em & Jen Fall Apart
March 18, 2024 10:00 - 42 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen break away from their usual content to get real and raw about what they've been going through. They open up about their current struggles and challenges with burnout and share candidly about their difficulty saying no and asking for help while managing the overwhelming mental load of running The Therapy Group. This episode is an opportunity to see Em and Jen become more introspective and reveal a side of what it’s like to be a therapist, business owner, ...
Your Guide to Setting Boundaries
March 11, 2024 10:00 - 42 minutesOn today’s episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are joined by one of their amazing clinicians from The Therapy Group, Taylor Nance, LMFT, to talk about all things boundaries! Taylor is their resident boundaries expert and the three of them are answering your questions about dealing with pushback when setting boundaries, why it can be so difficult to set a boundary, the guilt that comes up, if boundary setting is worth the potential conflict, in-laws and boundaries, if boundaries always ha...
Answering Your Sex, Libido & Desire Questions
March 04, 2024 11:00 - 44 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen explore the topics of sex, libido, and desire. As sex therapists, they share their expertise and insight into these sometimes hard-to-talk-about topics. They begin the episode by answering the #1 listener question: how do I increase my libido? They also answer questions about having a different libido than your partner, spontaneous desire vs. responsive desire, the orgasm gap, and feeling rejected by your partner's lack of libido. They discuss how to...
Finding the Gray Area in Black & White Thinking
February 26, 2024 11:00 - 48 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen explore the topic of all-or-nothing/black-and-white/dichotomous thinking. They start the episode off by explaining what all-or-nothing thinking looks like and the reasons why you might be engaging in it. Em and Jen then cover listener questions; topics like where this type of thinking comes from, the safety that black-and-white thinking can bring, and why it is so easy to fall into. They discuss how to challenge these thought patterns and how to reframe ...
Is Everyone Experiencing Imposter Syndrome?
February 19, 2024 11:00 - 39 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen cover one of their most requested topics: Imposter Syndrome. They start the episode off by explaining the different subtypes of imposter syndrome and which subtype resonates with each of them the most. Then they answer a common question: do you ever get over imposter syndrome? Emmalee and Jen discuss what might be underneath imposter syndrome, another name for it (and why they like the alternative better), boundaries in the workplace, and so...
Opposites Attract But Do They Work?
February 12, 2024 11:00 - 40 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen agree that opposites generally attract, but focus on the question: do they work? They go through listener topics and questions surrounding various differences within relationships such as life goals, politics, religion, parenting style, libido, view on money/finances, and more. Emmalee and Jen discuss the interesting notion that what attracts you to a person initially might be what you resent about them later on, life transitions in relationships and...
Feeling Guilty About Feeling Guilty
February 05, 2024 11:00 - 42 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen explore the pervasive emotion of guilt and how it impacts us on a daily basis. They begin the episode by defining the term "guilt-proneness" in response to a listener asking why it is their "go-to" emotion. Emmalee and Jen discuss guilt vs. shame, healthy guilt vs. irrational guilt, why so many of us might feel like we're not doing enough, internal and external expectations for ourselves, guilt passed down to us from our parents, guilt when setting bound...
When Family Dynamics Shift & Change in Adulthood
January 29, 2024 11:00 - 39 minutesOn this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen explore the topic of shifting family dynamics in adulthood and the complexities that exist within this change. When we grow into adults, our family dynamics often do not grow at the same rate. Em and Jen discuss family roles from our childhood staying present in adulthood, why it's so hard for parents to see their kids as adults, shifting dynamics in a family that avoids confrontation, growing out of old family dynamics (esp. if you're t...
What It Means to be a Highly Sensitive Person
January 22, 2024 11:00 - 40 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are discussing the highly requested topic of being a highly sensitive person (a.k.a. an HSP). They help us understand what it means to be an HSP and the difference between being an HSP and an empath by sharing examples. The conversation gives insight into your own sensitivity, as well as insight into the people in your life who consider themselves highly sensitive. Emmalee and Jen explain how introversion, social anxiety, and overstimulation are conn...
Understanding Passive Aggressive Behavior
January 15, 2024 11:00 - 39 minutesIn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are examining passive-aggressive behavior. They start the episode by sharing the different types of passive-aggressive behavior and examples to accompany each type. Emmalee and Jen explain where passive-aggressive behavior might stem from, and how to better understand it if we're engaging in it or if someone is being passive-aggressive with us. They answer your questions like: why we fall into this behavior, how to gently call someone out fo...
How Do I Set Boundaries with Myself?
January 08, 2024 11:00 - 39 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about establishing and upholding the boundaries you set with yourself, for yourself. They answer your questions surrounding: why boundaries with ourselves are often harder to keep, what the line is between having boundaries for yourself and being “selfish," how to work on the emotional boundary of not managing other people’s emotions, breaking the people pleasing aspect of overcommitting yourself, how to balance necessary self-care while ...
Dear Em & Jen: Listener Advice (Continued)
January 01, 2024 11:00 - 39 minutesWelcome to Season 5 of ShrinkChicks! Emmalee and Jen are back for the first episode of the New Year with another episode dedicated to Dear Em & Jen questions! The first question asks: how do you help someone who is not ready to be helped? Emmalee and Jen discuss the challenges of watching a friend or loved one stay in an unhealthy relationship, providing support while also upholding boundaries to care for yourself, and the hard truth that people have to come to certain conclusions on their ow...
Your Holiday Pep Talk
December 18, 2023 11:00 - 41 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are giving you a holiday pep talk! They answer your questions about all of the curveballs that the holiday season can throw us such as financial pressure, anxiety, grief, and loss surrounding this time of year, losing that childhood joy as an adult, combining traditions when you enter into a romantic relationship, how to handle fake family members, the awkwardness of receiving gifts, and so much more. Em and Jen give you some pre-holiday gathering ma...
Dear Em & Jen: Listener Advice
December 11, 2023 11:00 - 41 minutesOn this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are dedicating the full episode to answering multiple Dear Em & Jen questions! The first question is from a listener who is extremely frustrated with her current relationship dynamic. Her partner is not willing to do the work and she feels lost on how to reach him after trying for so long. They discuss defensiveness, the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic, and how our inner child's survival tactics can show up in our present relationships. Next,...
Navigating Long-Term Friendships
December 04, 2023 11:00 - 40 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking all about long-term friendships and how they evolve over time. They discuss whether it's possible to stay friends if you're in different life stages by sharing their personal experiences of being childfree (Jen) and a parent (Em), and how that affects their friendship. They cover topics such as: why friendship breakups are so painful, the limits of romantic relationships vs. the limits of friendships, why it can be so challenging to accept th...
Why is the Mother-Daughter Relationship So Complex?
November 27, 2023 11:00 - 46 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are joined by Hilary Truong, one of their wonderful clinicians, who is a Mother-Daughter relationship expert and coach! Hilary shares her expertise around this unique relational dynamic. She answers your questions about the guilt around setting boundaries with your Mom, why Mom might be competitive/jealous of daughter, healing without the possibility of closure, blatant favoritism of a sibling, being the emotional support for your Mom, gener...
Rewind: Why Are In-Laws So Triggering?
November 20, 2023 11:00 - 46 minutesThis week, ahead of Thanksgiving, Emmalee and Jen are re-releasing their most downloaded episode: Why Are In-Laws So Triggering? They know that the start of the Holiday season can be activating, overwhelming, and bring up a lot of emotion, which is why they picked this particular episode to remind you that you're not alone. Emmalee and Jen answer your questions like: why are mothers-in-law, specifically, triggering, how to prepare for in-laws, what to do when your partner won't speak up to th...
How to Know When to Stay or Go
November 13, 2023 11:00 - 41 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are helping you to answer the question: should I stay or should I go? They talk about how to know when something is no longer serving you and the nuances that exist around that, how to decipher between needing to give something more time vs. knowing it's time, and working through the guilt of making the decision to leave. Emmalee and Jen answer your questions about understanding your own dealbreakers, the difference between an ultimatum and a boundar...
Resentment, The Mental Load, & How They Intertwine
November 06, 2023 11:00 - 48 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen have the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish! Dr. Tracy is a clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author who specializes in the topics of resentment, the mental load, and other challenges that can show up in our partnerships. They start the episode off by diving into the complicated emotion of resentment and how resentment connects to the mental load. Dr. Tracy shares about the common relationship dynamic that includes...
How our Phones Impact our Mental Health
October 30, 2023 10:00 - 34 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen sit down with Jenny Wise Black, LMFT, who specializes in how our phones affect our mental health. Jenny shares her personal journey of being without a phone for FOUR years and how it changed her life and informed her work. Emmalee, Jen, and Jenny discuss social media breaks and FOMO, living in our daily reality vs. our social media reality, the addiction to our phones and some research behind it, the impact that scrolling and keeping our phones on us...
What's Normal Independence vs. Hyper-Independence?
October 23, 2023 10:00 - 38 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are covering the highly requested topic of hyper-independence! They start the discussion off by defining hyper-independence, also known as ultra-independence, and where it can originate from. They talk about the relationship between hyper-independence and parentification and birth order, the societal praise hyper-independence receives, and how hyper-independence can affect our romantic and platonic relationships. Emmalee and Jen distinguish between hyper...
Healing Your Childhood Wounds
October 16, 2023 10:00 - 39 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are answering your questions about childhood wounds. They start the episode with a question about what a healed person looks like and what their own healing journeys have looked like. Then they discuss how our childhood wounds do not always originate from our families; that some of us have deep wounds from friendships or other formative relationships. Emmalee and Jen share questions to help identify what wounds from childhood may be showing up for yo...
Getting Out of a Shame Spiral
October 09, 2023 20:48 - 41 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are covering the highly requested topic of shame. They start the episode off by distinguishing between the emotions of guilt and shame as they can feel quite similar but are very different. Then they share some of Brene Brown's research including the 3 things shame needs to survive and how to get out of a shame spiral with tangible steps. Emmalee and Jen discuss healing from shame, shame and judgment and how they can go hand in hand, the dif...
What If I Make The Wrong Decision?
October 02, 2023 10:00 - 41 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking all about decisions and why decision-making can be so challenging. They share what they each do when struggling to make a decision, a tangible exercise to help you with decision-making, and answer your questions about feeling stuck in a decision. They discuss their thoughts on "the one," making "the right" decisions, managing other people's/society's opinions and expectations, why you may have analysis paralysis, the fear of regret, decis...
Not Everything is About You
September 25, 2023 10:00 - 40 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are revisiting the topic: how to stop taking sh*t personally! You can listen to this one on its own, and for more check out the episode: How to Stop Taking Sh*t Personally. Emmalee and Jen pick the topic back up by answering a question about rejection sensitivity and explaining what it looks like. They then discuss how taking things personally can connect to our deepest insecurities, the shame and guilt behind taking things personally, and t...
How To Get Better with Confrontation
September 18, 2023 10:00 - 43 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are covering a highly requested topic: confrontation and how to get more comfortable with it! They start by normalizing how challenging confrontation can be. They share questions to ask yourself like what does confrontation mean to you and what does it look like for you, historically? Then they answer your questions about why confrontation can be so scary, what to do if you freeze or blackout during a confrontation, different ways to approach confron...
Creating Your Chosen Family
September 11, 2023 10:00 - 41 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about chosen family. They discuss popular sayings like "blood is thicker than water" and "you only get one (insert family member here)" and why these don't apply to everyone. They explain that it's not all or nothing; a chosen family doesn't require the absence of a biological family. Emmalee and Jen answer your questions about finding and creating a chosen family, how to not feel like you're betraying your biological family by having a chose...
Rewind: Carrying The Mental Load
September 04, 2023 10:00 - 42 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Em and Jen are practicing what they preach by resting and taking the week off from a new episode. They don't want to leave you all hanging of course, so they're re-releasing one of their most listened-to episodes: Carrying The Mental Load. Emmalee and Jen break down the term "mental load," which is also known as cognitive labor. They discuss gender roles and how the mental load has historically fallen on women, the over-functioning/under-functioning dynamic in relations...
How Your History Alters Your Brain
August 28, 2023 10:00 - 52 minutesOn this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are honored to be joined by Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT, LPC, SEP. Jules is a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, interpersonal neurobiology, and couples work and she shares her incredible knowledge with us all today! The episode begins with Jules explaining how to use neurobiology as a basis to understand ourselves and our triggers. She shares how trauma - and our own histories - can alter the brain, how our brain systems are some...
Improving Communication in Your Relationship
August 21, 2023 10:00 - 44 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks Emmalee and Jen are communicating about communicating! They discuss how to improve communication in your relationship(s), identifying your specific pain points when communicating, being the external processor or the internal processor, the difference between honesty and being harsh, asserting your needs vs. being controlling, what to do when you're having the same fight or disagreement over and over again, and effective communication strategies! The episode ends with a D...
How to Break-Up with Your Therapist & More
August 14, 2023 10:00 - 48 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are answering all of your questions about therapy! They discuss why they each chose this career, where to start when looking for a therapist, how to break up with your therapist & find a new one, how to know if you've found the right therapist, how to make the most of your sessions, and why it can be hard to be fully honest with your therapist. Emmalee and Jen also read some of your therapist horror stories that leave them shook. The episode wraps wi...
How To Stop Taking Sh*t Personally
August 07, 2023 10:00 - 43 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are covering one of the most requested topics: taking things personally. The episode kicks off with the new intro segment question: how did Em and Jen meet their partners? They then get into the topic and explain where taking things personally may stem from, times when we are more prone to taking things personally, sensitivity to rejection, and how to work toward taking things less personally. They answer your questions about constructive criticism, feel...
What To Do When Resentment Builds
July 31, 2023 10:00 - 44 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are diving into the topic of resentment and how it can be connected to unmet expectations, feelings of unfairness or imbalance, and asking for what we need. They first explain the emotion of resentment, where it can come from, and how they each know when resentment is building for them, personally. Emmalee and Jen then answer your questions about why it can be easier to stew in the resentment than ask for what you need, the discomfort of confronting,...
Why It's So Hard to Give Ourselves Compassion
July 24, 2023 10:00 - 48 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are covering one of their favorite topics: self-compassion. They are thrilled to sit down with Dr. Kristin Neff, the self-compassion pioneer and expert. Dr. Neff was one of the first to research self-compassion about 20 years ago and shares many of her incredible findings with us all today. Dr. Neff defines self-compassion at the start of the episode and explains how culturally and evolutionarily, self-compassion can be challenging to give t...
Navigating Complicated Relationships with Our Parents
July 17, 2023 10:00 - 44 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen dig into the topic of complicated relationships with our parents/caregivers. They start the episode off with a hilarious story about Emmalee's version of a "lovie" when she was young. Hint: it was not a blanket or a stuffed animal. They then define the term enmeshment as it relates to our family of origin, talk about the difference between a close knit family and an enmeshed family, and touch on the (sometimes maladaptive) patterns that get passed down f...
It's Me, Hi, I'm the One with Anxiety
July 10, 2023 10:00 - 44 minutesOn this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen cover the topic of being the partner, friend, family member, etc. with anxiety and the shame, guilt, and other emotions that can bring up. They noticed a theme with the listener questions that came in for this topic around the word "burden." Emmalee and Jen answer your questions about being a burden or too much when it comes to anxiety in your relationship and where that feeling may have originated. They discuss validating our own feelin...
Rewind: Jealousy is a Complex Emotion
July 03, 2023 10:00 - 44 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are practicing what they preach and taking the week off from a new episode for the July 4th Holiday. They of course never want to leave you all hanging, so they are re-releasing one of their most popular episodes from last year: Jealousy is a Complex Emotion. They start off by discussing jealousy as a very human emotion. They then go into the difference between jealousy and envy, why jealousy is normal, and the reaction to jealousy vs. the feeling of jea...
Boundaries 101 with Nedra Glover Tawwab
June 26, 2023 10:00 - 51 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen have the honor of sitting down with the boundary and relationship expert herself, Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW! You may recognize Nedra's name from her incredible Instagram account or as the author of two amazing books Set Boundaries, Find Peace & Drama Free. Nedra starts the episode by sharing how she got into boundary work, why she doesn't always like using the term "boundary," and her approach as a therapist. She then answers listener q...
Life Transitions and the Anxiety That Accompanies Them
June 19, 2023 10:00 - 40 minutesThis week's episode of ShrinkChicks is all about life stage transitions and the anxiety that can come along with them. Emmalee and Jen start the episode off with another new listener intro idea and share the highs and lows of their weeks. They then dive into listener questions about various life transitions like the difference between a period of transition vs. making the "wrong” choice, decision paralysis with change, coping when friends' lives are changing but yours isn't, being "ahead" or ...
Pivoting When Things Don't Go As Planned
June 12, 2023 10:00 - 42 minutesOn today's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen talk all about things not going according to plan. Any planners out there? This one's for you (and also to share with anyone in your life who you want to explain your perspective to)! The episode starts off with a new intro idea from an amazing listener that has Emmalee and Jen share something they learned about themselves over the past week. They then dive into the episode topic and share how they both feel about plans and planning. Em and ...
Was I Parentified?
June 05, 2023 10:00 - 43 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen dive into the topic of parentification aka parenting our parents and/or siblings as a child or adolescent. They start the episode by defining parentification, sharing the different types, giving examples of what it could have looked like in your childhood/adolescence and explaining the short & long term effects. Emmalee and Jen answer your questions like: what to do if it's showing up in adulthood, can we parentify ourselves, how to set boundaries wh...
Exploring Internal Family Systems with Dr. Richard Schwartz
May 29, 2023 10:00 - 39 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen have the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Richard Schwartz, fellow psychotherapist and the creator of the therapeutic modality Internal Family Systems (IFS). Dick has written some of Em & Jen's favorite books to recommend to you all like No Bad Parts and You are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, which was just re-released earlier this month! Dr. Schwartz shares the basic concepts of IFS, what it means to have different "parts" of ourselves and where they...
Getting Underneath Your Need to be Right
May 22, 2023 10:00 - 39 minutesOn this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about the need to be right and why it can be so hard to let this go. They start off the episode by sharing how each of them feels about being right in their relationships and also with one another. They expand on the importance of feeling heard and seen, why it can be easier to let arguments go with some people and not others, where stubbornness can come from, and being right vs. being close. Emmalee and Jen tell us how to wo...
When Fear Gets in the Way
May 15, 2023 10:00 - 41 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about fear and resistance and what to do when they get in the way. They highlight the various responses we all can have to fear: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn and share which responses the two of them typically experience. Emmalee and Jen discuss the nuances that exist with fear and how fear can both help us and hurt us. They answer your questions about a fear of being less than, the shame spiral that can occur when fear wins, how to work o...
Finding Joy in the Routine
May 08, 2023 10:00 - 43 minutesThis week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen dive into a topic that many were curious to hear about: finding joy in the day-to-day routine. They discuss how they each find joy in their day to day, tips for how to incorporate it, and the challenge of transitioning out of a chaotic period of life to a calmer one. Emmalee and Jen answer listener questions about minimizing the pressure to always do more, changing up the routine as a stay-at-home mom, comparing to those with “glamorous” lifestyles o...
Is it a Reg Flag or Just Not a Good Fit?
May 01, 2023 10:00 - 47 minutesToday on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are joined by one of their amazing clinicians from The Therapy Group, Lauren Larkin, LMHC, and they are talking all things dating! Lauren shares some of the work she does with her clients around dating, a specific exercise she uses, her own personal red flag/deal breaker story, and how she worked through it. Em, Jen, and Lauren answer your questions about dating red flags, share why they disagree with some of the rigid dating advice that’s out there, and...
Things We Want to Hold Onto From our Families
April 24, 2023 10:00 - 38 minutesEmmalee and Jen often talk about intergenerational trauma/patterns and how to work on breaking those patterns in your adult life. This week on ShrinkChicks, they are talking about the other side of the coin: the things we want to keep from our families of origin, the really great things that are passed down. Em and Jen shift the focus from what we don’t want to take with us to what we do. They share some listener responses to this question, the things from their own families that they hold on...