Portmansheau
362 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 month ago - ★★★★★ - 42 ratingsSophisticated toilet humor featuring:
Andrew: A Jewishy-washy child ninja turned autoneurotic, prematurely old man, who's had it with fictional ghosts triggering his non-fictional anxiety.
Puke: A gently misanthropic Army veteran obsessed with sound effects who's had it with political correctness.
Brett: A fierce comedy theorist and peddler of critical thinking who's had it with how the dumbing down of America is resulting in terrible customer service.
Nick: A gender homogenous homosapien homeowner who homologizes without homologating the show, who's had it with all three of them so much that it's not even clear of he's actually part of the show anymore; even though he's mentioned all the time.
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Episodes
482: My Dad Tied Me To a Cinder Block
June 30, 2021 07:01 - 2 hours - 190 MBEpisode 482: Andrew has had a bad week of fuck-ups made worse by his mother ruining his plans. Did our parents really teach us anything? Plunger update and controversy. The land of a thousand islands and no dressing. Brett wants a slave island. Choking on Amish popcorn. The female Nick. A classic South Carolina Early Morning Park Fight.
481: My Love Is Not a PsyOp
June 23, 2021 07:01 - 2 hours - 185 MBEpisode 481: Andrew is out of town so Puke, Brett, and Gabriela are here to discuss the latest vaccine conspiracies. Racist drug stores. Pegged pants. Brett's lack of vision. Why would anyone live in California? Brett's friend hates the Jews. Gabriela gets slap bracelet money. Birthing persons.
480: Trouble At the Cream Station
June 16, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 160 MBEpisode 480: Brett is back this week with his girlfriend Gabriela. We can't pronounce her name. There are plumbing problems all around. Some pets are illegal in PA, but not alligators. Walmart has asparagus. Andrew can't find a door at Ulta Beauty nor the creamer at the gas station. Which dollar store is Andrew's favorite?
479: Bunk Bed Horse
June 10, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 126 MBEpisode 479: Andrew and Puke start the show drunk, and it goes uphill from there. Wing Fest, funnel cake, corn dogs, Afghani ribs, hot convertibles, looking at houses, notes, go karts, giants spiders, and new studio lighting.
478: I Love Gallbladders. You Never Know What’s Going to be Inside.
June 03, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 138 MBEpisode 478: We get all stupid about buffalo, rabbits, what squirrels eat, starlings, and concubines. Elizabeth talks tissue. Andrew has an absolute blast at Family Dollar. Puke want's better meat pies.
477: Over-the-Counter Culture
May 26, 2021 07:01 - 2 hours - 204 MBEpisode 477: Alex has a dream about a cave and how dark they are. Andrew has strong criticism against Indians. There was a giant spider. Crypto thoughts. Are UFO stories a gov't control plot? Puke gets shot. Karaoke and poker nights.
476: What If There Was a Child Hitler
May 06, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 139 MBEpisode 476: Puke has returned from CA and gettin' screamy. Andrew and Elizabeth save a turtle. Brett wants to buy a Miata.
475: How Many Bananas Do You Have to Trade a Monkey to Get a Plane?
April 29, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 156 MBEpisode 475: Puke is coming home! Alex finds Brett pooping in the wrong bathroom and threw a baby into a fan. Brett puts hot sock rice on his nethers. Andrew goes bowling with the whites and drinking with the blacks.
474: They Call ‘em “Pinkies” in the Business
April 22, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 142 MBEpisode 474: Speaking Spanish. Virtual mini-golf. Bearded dragons. Game of Thrones characters. Farting at a man.
473: I Don’t Regret Being a Fag
April 15, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 157 MBEpisode 473: Is Andrew being a fag? What does that even mean? Does he regret it? Will he get to third base or home plate? Why is the toilet lid open? How much sand is in Death Valley? A child's birthday gift.
472: Barfelona
April 08, 2021 07:01 - 2 hours - 203 MBEpisode 472: Alex is back from his adventure to Texas. We discuss Bass Pro Shop, West Memphis, the Mississippi River, tornadoes, and what to do in Oklahoma. Puke visits Taco Bell. Brett looks at a cunty mirror. Andrew, Puke, and Alex are going to Nicaragua.
471: Business Dancer
March 31, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 122 MBEpisode 471: How can we make this podcast last forever? Andrew reconciling his father passing away. Dishwasher hate. Andrew gives advice to Tim. We need an official business meeting dancer. Puke sells his house. The tax man is fucking us all.
470: By Hand or By Donkey
March 25, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 162 MBEpisode 470: Dedicated to Andrew's father, Warren. We also invent ridiculous Sheau themed amusement park rides. They mostly revolve around dicks.
469: Hey! We all have buttplugs, come on in!
March 17, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 137 MBEpisode 469: Andrew is back all filled with stories! Dinner debacle, creepy fairgrounds, a Covid vaccine site, hidden Amazon Alexa, washing machines, suddenly a sex shop, tax disaster, and Alex headed for Texas.
468: DUE TO COVID
March 12, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 115 MBEpisode 468: Snack science, Columbus, OH parking garages, yellow tuna, state capitals, veteran exploitation, and dead soldiers faces.
467: Washing a Toddler
March 04, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 152 MBEpisode 467: Should men own pets? Learning how and when to shower. A torturous audio ordeal. Puke's new Air BNB and house sale. Andrew has old man pains. The people of CA are pummeled by fear.
466: #SAVETIMMY
February 25, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 133 MBEpisode 466: Alex asks why there is shame around nudity and bodily functions. Brett asks the gang a question. Andrew is afraid of the show succeeding. Puke moves Air BNB's.
465: You know what? Boy butt!
February 18, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 124 MBEpisode 465: Puke is now in LA and surrounded by the loudest of people in an ABNB that isn't a stand-alone house. Andrew and Brett went to South Carolina for the pineapples. What would you do if you would die in five minutes? Trying to pee in a cup inside of a car.
464: The Guy Who Didn’t Want to Touch Wood
February 12, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 152 MBEpisode 464: Kidney stones, brushes with death, wearing gloves, having back-ups, getting bored, a grim Wal-Mart future, the kitchen whisk, and a dishwasher rant.
463: The Sacrificial Lamp
February 03, 2021 10:01 - 1 hour - 162 MBEpisode 463: We've decided to change the format of the show to a coffee table book. Are women more attractive based on their name alone? Should a man wear slippers outside the house? Will VR ruin the world? What is the problem with the new gym? We answer none of these questions.
462: It All Happened Very Quickly
January 28, 2021 07:01 - 1 hour - 155 MBEpisode 462: The best leggings, socks, and slippers. Sheaugi Panels. Andrew yells at a woman. Puke gets carried away with the political posts. Brett wants everyone to stop using porn.
PCL229: CA 4 – Schmillicon Valley
January 18, 2021 20:41 - 1 hour - 116 MBPCL229: Part 4 of Puke's adventures in California. This PCL episode is available to all of our wonderful listeners! Hear all the fun stuff by signing up at wwwportmansheau.com/VIP
461: The Path to the Bear Is Through the Kitten
January 14, 2021 07:01 - 2 hours - 176 MBEpisode 461: What do you do if you get propositioned for a threesome? We talk about that for an hour. What is a key-cock? Is one of our mother's a witch? Cobra Kai making us have emotions. Don't buy your mom a gun.
460: This is Sex and I’m Going to Jizz
January 07, 2021 07:01 - 2 hours - 217 MBEpisode 460: How many times can a podcast say the word "jizz"? Listen and find out!
459: Pershowna
December 08, 2020 07:01 - 1 hour - 112 MBRecording Date - 29 / Nov / 2020 Intro Song - “I Ain't Hurtin Nobody” by John Prine Talkings About - ~ Mexican candy ~ Per-sheau-na ~ Is being a nice person secretly evil? ~ Puke's goals ~ This is where model train sets are modeled after.
458: Conespiracy Theory
December 04, 2020 07:01 - 35 minutes - 48.6 MBRecording Date - 28 / Nov / 2020 Intro Song - “The Trees” by Rush Talkings About - ~ Good morning Lake Tahoe! ~ My Dad's birthday would have been yesterday. ~ Driving the mountains at night. ~ Hwy 88 between Jackson, CA and Hope Valley, CA. ~ Rock scrabbling. ~ Puke wears a mask, […]
457: Treenis
December 02, 2020 07:01 - 74.6 MBRecording Date - 27 / Nov / 2020 Intro Song - “Ansel Adams Took Really Good Photos When He was Alive” by Papa Razzi & the Photogs Talkings About - ~ Yosemite ~ Photography ~ Who is Ansel Adams? ~ Pullover anxiety. ~ [p] A tree!
456: Chevy Modesto
November 30, 2020 07:01 - 24 minutes - 33.1 MBRecording Date - 27 / Nov / 2020 Intro Song - “Highway 101” by Social Distortion Talkings About - ~ Andrew doesn’t plan! ~ San Francisco ~ [a] CA not as awful as I thought. ~ Sausalito ~ The CA Coast ~ Getting the cultural bends. ~ Modesto ~ Dirty and depressing CA.
455: Vowels Are the Jews of the Alphabet
November 18, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 139 MBEpisode 455: Puke is in California. The traffic is awful, the country is nice. He's in a photography paradise. Andrew is stuck at home watching TV and petting Puke's cat. Clothes shopping, elk, trip planning, star-gazing, grammar, and which letters of the alphabet are the best and the worst.
454: Pussinal Day
November 04, 2020 07:01 - 55 minutes - 77.5 MBEpisode 454: This will be the last regular Portmansheau for a while as Puke is headed for California for several months. Andrew partied hard in Ohio. Join Nick on the livestream for election night coverage.
453: Air Just Comes Out of My Face
October 31, 2020 07:01 - 1 hour - 153 MBEpisode 453: Andrew is going to see a picture show, is a cold weather puss, and doesn't have joy. Puke isn't excited about his work trip, dislikes poor communication, and is forced to think about life goals. Do you have fridgeulance?
452: Yeah… Guns Are Way More Expensive than Potatoes
October 29, 2020 07:01 - 2 hours - 176 MBEpisode 452: Newdio! We've moved the studio yet again, but in record time we were back up and slingin' slapstick. Puke has delicate hands, a sick cat, and an upcoming trip. Andrew talks about Nashville, guitars, spiders on ships, and fighting the bureaucrats. Andrew also bought yet another car. SOAP!
451: I Panicked
October 21, 2020 07:01 - 2 hours - 174 MBEpisode 451: Puke forgot he updated the email a year ago. Andrew is shocked we have a YouTube channel. Where is the album artwork? An angry detective. Puke's last week of unemployment. Tax burden. Held hostage by Verizon. Puke causes a woman to road rage. Some of Andrew's trip to Tennessee.
450: Yeahcuhdaihkahla… Learning
October 07, 2020 07:02 - 2 hours - 167 MBEpisode 450: Moar soap! Puke gets his house ready for sale. learning about rules and punji pits. Andrew is fighting a ticket 7 hours away. Cupolas! Becoming a river king of real estate. Dollywood. Crazy covid lady in a candy store. Sitcom mashups. Andrew won't listen to his body.
449: Confluence of Puke Can’t Be the Sheau Name
September 30, 2020 07:01 - 2 hours - 191 MBEpisode 449: Andrew is being decreed upon. We didn't hike but did see Oil Creek. Puke is selling his house. Hobos for mannequin duty. Amy thinks time zones and Greenwich Mean Time are stupid. Gender reveal parties. Women's fashion. Watching a bad date at a bar.
448: LawnMoper Man
September 23, 2020 07:01 - 2 hours - 220 MBEpisode 448: Andrew buys a bunch of racing gear, goes racing, gets sweaty and gross feet; then dresses the mannequin. Puke should sell his house now and is all mopey about it because he's a gopher. A new app idea, talking to a photographer guy, being afraid of the dark, pride in Butler County fighting the man, intermittent fasting, and creating a home gym.
447: Idahteau
September 09, 2020 07:01 - 1 hour - 138 MBEpisode 447: Let's try tequila for a change! Amy wants to sell foot fetish fotos which makes Andrew extremely angry. Puke reveals his own foot photos and problems from the recent trip out west. Puke has been getting out and photographing the city. Andrew invents a new show Puke should produce. We also rant about masks again, bike lanes, Dippy the Dinosaur, fire-retardant underwear, donating clothes, karate, and fighting the city over property rights.
446: Sock Portfolio
September 02, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 141 MBEpisode 446: Just an unemployed podcaster and a crash victim telling their tales. Puke tries to find the right shirt, has expensive socks, and is too mopey without a job. Andrew get rear-ended, loves karate movies, tries to help Puke get motivated, and is going racing in Massachusetts next week.
445: Disinfected Elbow
August 31, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 135 MBEpisode 445: Our friends from New Hampshire The Chat Says & Macy stop by on their way thru Pittsburgh. Puke and Andrew had just flown in from Denver and we discuss our last days adventure in Colorado. Mainly how we missed our flight by about one minute b/c of stupid COVID rules. Also; Instagram husbands, Wisconsin cheese, Puke curses too much, architecture, supper clubs, and the Bridge of Sighs.
444: Smoker’s Gills
August 29, 2020 07:00 - 27 minutes - 37.7 MBEpisode 444: Northwest Adventures, part 7. Our trip is over and we have to fly back home. That doesn’t go very well. We hike the Loveland Pass but Puke can’t breathe at 12000 feet. Puke doesn’t get to see a moose. We give our camping gear to a hippy guy. Denver is really flat! This has been a fantastic adventure.
443: Squirrelbone Ranch
August 28, 2020 07:00 - 50 minutes - 63.5 MBEpisode 443: Northwest Adventures, part 6. We camp in the car and it sucked. We look at the stars in fear of animal attack. We just touch a corner of Utah, which is gorgeous. Andrew eats a waffle. We pass a crazy place called Skullbone Ranch and try to buy a skull.
442: Yellowstone – It’s Pretty…Unremarkable
August 27, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 102 MBEpisode 442: Northwest Adventures, part 5. We make it to the great Yellowstone National Park! There was a bear! We looked at one smelly hole and then leave. The Grand Tetons are obscured in smoke, so that sucked too. Andrew wants an overlander truck. Puke wants to take photos.
441: Moregon
August 26, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 21 MB(PCL Only) Episode 441: Northwest Adventures, part 4. It’s just Andrew & Puke now. Nick was left to hunt rocks with friends in western Oregon. Central Idaho is amazing! There are rivers, canyons, hot springs, and sheriffs. There’s a ghost town! The rest of Idaho was terrible to drive. We made it to Wyoming and found the local bar to play darts in.
440: Ignoregon
August 25, 2020 15:58 - 38 minutes - 53.8 MBEpisode 440: Northwest Adventures, part 3. We’re heading through central Oregon in our rental SUV. We recap Saturday and Sunday with Mike in Tacoma who graciously let us stay at his home overnight. We then drove down the amazing Oregon coast. The sand was very hot, the water very cold. The recording ends as we approach the painted hills.
439: Yakkin’ Over Dinner
August 25, 2020 13:28 - 14 minutes - 21 MB(PCL Only) Episode 439: Northwest Adventures, part 2. After recording on Mt. Bachelor we drove to Crater Lake Nat. Park. On the way we pass a crazy lava field that created Davis Lake. Everything smells like pine. It’s delightful. Back in Bend we go explore the town and return to grill Yak Burgers from Nick’s own animals.
438: God’s Porch Swing
August 18, 2020 14:55 - 27 minutes - 39.4 MBEpisode 438: Northwest Adventure, Part 1. We've never recorded this high before. From a ski-lift on Mt. Bachelor, Oregon Nick the Yak Man joins us to discuss his home state, the terrible drivers of Oregon, and Yak farming. Then we ate lunch at around 6000 feet up the mountain.
437: Jen & Berry’s
August 14, 2020 07:03 - 1 hour - 160 MBEpisode 437: Dalebert and Young Alex join us! We discuss drunken thoughts, toilet paper, how bad Ohio is, conservatives, bee stings, dream pills, the Amish in Florida, and bug full poops.
436: Catatonia
August 06, 2020 07:01 - 1 hour - 149 MBEpisode 436: We get a package of something smelly from a listener. Puke has a family tragedy and get's wasted. Hot Wheels cars. Oil viscosity. A trip to Cleveland. Andrew bids on a car. Heading out west.