88. Restoring Relationship with Molly Lacroix

If you've been around Becoming Boundaried for a minute you know that I am crazy about relationship.  Both relationship with SELF and relationship with others (because you can't have one without the other). When our boundaries are rigid, we are so often coming from a place of fear and judgment, which leads us to feeling isolated and lonely.  The reality is, we are relational beings.  But judgment breaks our relationships because we are saying my way is right therefore you are wrong-therefore there is no ability to connect.  We dodge vulnerability and we often find ourselves in relationships where we are working to fix, control and manage others.  These over-functioning parts can often block the true intimacy and connection that deep down we desire.  

My guest today, Molly LaCroix is also passionate about relationship.  In this interview, Molly talks about her own childhood adversity  and the pain it caused her, which created a rift in her system.  She explains how when we are left to process something that we don’t have the inner capacity to process on our own, it gets stuck and it shapes the choices moving forward that we make.  So many of us wonder why we make the choices we do-we feel stuck and confused yet when Molly explains how childhood adversity and trauma get stuck in our system-it makes the 'stuckness' we experience make so much sense!

In this episode, we discuss healing from trauma using Internal Family Systems, how easily beliefs can get stuck in our system, and why we use fear and judgment to block us from experiencing true connection in our relationship as well as the pain that it can cause.

Listen to discover:

What over-functioning really is and why we do it.
What is the difference between judgment and discernment?
How a U-TURN can help us stay on our side of the street and lead us to deeper connection with others.
The skill we already have within to create beautiful and meaningful relationships.
Why we opt for rules over relationship.
What it means to have an experience stuck in our system.
Why we hold onto negative things more easily than positive experiences.
Why the missing link of relationships is emotions.

I love Molly's gentle and loving approach because safety and connection truly are what help us heal.  God's design for us friends is to heal.  And this conversation will help you understand why.  Lastly we also touch on the topic of anger-one of my favorite emotions.  Molly helps us recognize where to start if you are terrified of your anger but realize you've got it buried deep down within and need to slowly let it go.  

"We can get curious about why a part of me is having this reaction to another person.-tell me more…" Molly LaCroix

"Uncertainty frightens us," Molly LaCroix

"Fear of vulnerability is always the underbelly of resisting connection with others." Molly LaCroix

"Our parts need to be heard and welcomed just as they are." Molly LaCroix

"I was raised in the church of ONE RIGHT WAY." Krista Resnick

LINKS & RESOURCES

Molly LaCroix Instagram

Molly LaCroix's Book 

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP