Movie Mastery
235 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 days ago - ★★★★★ - 67 ratingsJef and Jon review movies by randomly rolling on an audience-submitted list.
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Episodes
Movie Mastery – Megamind (2010)
April 15, 2022 22:09 - 1 hourOne of the few actually decent DreamWorks animated films but it still can’t escape the dreaded “all the characters dance” ending. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Dirty Love (2005)
March 31, 2022 21:49 - 1 hourIn what I can only describe as one of the worst movies that we have ever seen; Jenny McCarthy takes some time off from spreading misinformation about vaccines to write and star in a humorless “comedy” where everyone sucks and nobody learns anything. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Croczilla (2012)
March 18, 2022 20:24 - 1 hourThrill as a very large but not kaiju-sized crocodile harmlessly wanders around the Chinese countryside causing some mild panic and light property damage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Toxic Avenger (1984)
March 04, 2022 01:53 - 1 hourAn earnestly fun, low budget comedy with high gore and nudity content that would honestly have aged pretty well if it weren’t for all the racial slurs and homophobia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Megaforce (1982)
February 19, 2022 22:56 - 1 hourWhen you need a problem solved and nobody else can get it done, you call the legally distinct from G.I. Joe men at Megaforce. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Lawnmower Man (1992)
February 04, 2022 22:27 - 1 hourA movie that took the name of a Stephen King short story but has absolutely nothing in common with it and yet somehow still manages to be an extremely Stephen King movie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Renaissance Man (1994)
January 22, 2022 22:14 - 1 hourThe classic “how do I reach these kids” teacher movie with a military twist and you better believe that there’s a scene where these army teens drop a sick Hamlet rap. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Freddie as F.R.O.7. (1992)
January 07, 2022 03:25 - 1 hourSpecial guest James D’Amato joins us in a review of Britain’s extremely cursed foray into the world of animated movies. A film with a plot so absurd that there is no way the movie can do it justice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
December 23, 2021 22:02 - 1 hourWhoever it was that decided this should be on our list both understands exactly what this show is about and also is a terrible person. Hitting some surprising new lows on this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Duel (1971)
December 10, 2021 19:35 - 1 hourOk but the movie poster claims “the most bizarre murder weapon ever used” and that’s just not even remotely true. Killing someone with a truck is real fuckin basic. You kill someone with some Pumpernickel bread and maybe you can claim most bizarre murder weapon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)
November 26, 2021 21:09 - 1 hourThe 4th and final installment of the 3 Ninjas series goes out on a “what?” as Hulk Hogan helps some kids fight terrorists that are also ninjas that have taken over an amusement park. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Deadly Prey (1987)
November 13, 2021 01:30 - 1 hourA group of mercenaries accidentally kidnap the worlds most killingest badass for their murder training and he picks them off one by one using nothing but a knife, his wits, and a sweet pair of daisy dukes. Somehow, this is turned into the most tedious and boring movie we’ve watched in a while. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Goosebumps (2015)
October 28, 2021 21:08 - 1 hourYou remember those horror books aimed at kids that were super popular in the early-mid 90’s? Well, they definitely cashed in on that in a timely fashion with this movie in 2015! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Sleepaway Camp (1983)
October 14, 2021 22:55 - 1 hourIt’s still queer horror week for this Horrortoberfest and, unfortunately, this one is the dark side of the offerings given how this movie views gay and trans people. I will never allow Jef to watch good horror. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
September 30, 2021 21:29 - 1 hourIn a pulp fiction alternate 1939, nefarious plans are afoot and only the dashing Sky Captain can put an end to this world ending threat. Also, everything looks like it’s been soaked in piss and smeared with vaseline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Miami Connection (1987)
September 17, 2021 20:50 - 1 hourA treasure previously lost was found once again by the Alamo Draft House. Now everyone can enjoy the earnest, goofy, terrible movie that is Miami Connection and the rockin’ yet oddly sweet lyrics of Dragon Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – They Live (1988)
September 02, 2021 22:39 - 1 hourA terrifying, inhuman elite controls society and keeps people under control through television, advertising, and the help of their recruits that work to maintain the suppression of any rebellious actions. Also, we watched a John Carpenter film! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Dark Crystal (1982)
August 20, 2021 18:49 - 1 hourThe classic 80’s film that tried to see if a full puppet movie could work. With some gorgeous design work from Jim Henson and Brian Froud and performances from classic Muppet actors, it almost does. Almost. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Wild in the Streets (1968)
August 06, 2021 01:07 - 1 hourA movie that dares to ask the unthinkable question: What if the youth of America actually gave a shit about politics and showed up to vote? Truly a terrifying thought. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In Theaters Now – Space Jam: A New Legacy
July 23, 2021 21:37 - 1 hourThe Loony Tunes are back and ready to create a giant commercial for WB properties and also basketball kind of happens. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Lair of the White Worm
July 08, 2021 23:45 - 1 hourIn a cult classic that has bigger star power than you might have assumed for such an incredibly stupid movie; we try to make sense of a snake vampire lady and also do the world’s most atrocious Scottish accents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – American Ultra (2015)
June 24, 2021 20:30 - 1 hourIn the same way that the Taken movies are just fodder for middle-aged dads to imagine that they could be super badass heroes still; this movie is for 20-something burnout stoners to imagine that they could be super badass heroes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Tank Girl (1995)
June 10, 2021 22:16 - 1 hourBack in the era where comic book movies hadn’t quite figured out the formula for success, a little property about a post-apocalyptic riot grrl could flourish as a unique creation. Uniquely BAD! BOOM! Take THAT! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Vibes (1988)
May 27, 2021 20:34 - 1 hourThe experience of watching this movie is much the same as Goldblum’s character within the movie: mildly amused but mostly just confused about what’s happening and why. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Three Musketeers (2011)
May 14, 2021 21:04 - 1 hourIf there’s one element that can turn any concept from drab and boring to thrilling and engaging it’s steampunk. The thing that Alexandre Dumas’ classic tale was missing was scuba gear, airships, and gatling cannons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Robot Jox (1989)
April 30, 2021 23:38 - 1 hourAfter World War 3 has devastated the planet and war is outlawed, the remaining civilizations decide that the best use of their limited resources is to have giant fuck-off robots punch each other over territory disputes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Kate & Leopold (2001)
April 16, 2021 02:21 - 1 hourThe romantic comedy that lets women know that you can finally find love as long as you are willing to leave your job, friends, and family behind in order to be with a man you’ve known for less than a week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)
April 01, 2021 20:47 - 1 hourNot to be confused with Star Wars: The Cone Wars the TV show. Or Star Wars: Clone Wars the TV show. Or Star Wars: The Clone Wars the video game. This one had a theatrical release that nobody cared about! And we definitely watched it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Spawn (1997)
March 19, 2021 00:40 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/03/movie-mastery-spawn.mp3 Back in the 90’s when comics were gritty and the CGI was absolutely terrible, somebody greenlit a movie that’s 85% narration and 15% incredibly poorly done fight scenes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – On Deadly Ground (1994)
March 05, 2021 00:59 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/03/movie-mastery-on-deady-ground.mp3 We’ve talking about Steven Seagal several times on the podcast before but this is the first time we get to finally sit down and sink our teeth into one of his movies. With a star-studded cast and definitely, for sure not sure Asians playing Native Americans; On Deadly Ground really makes you realize why Seagal became a joke. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Circle of Iron (1978)
February 18, 2021 23:18 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/movie-mastery-circle-of-iron.mp3 Inspired by a script from legendary martial artist Bruce Lee, comes Circle of Iron. A movie where a whiny, asshole white guy has people attempt to teach him Zen lessons but he learns nothing and remains the worst. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Tango & Cash (1989)
February 05, 2021 01:12 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/movie-mastery-tango-and-cash.mp3 A movie that both of us had heard of but neither of us knew anything about. This film walks the delicate line of being a loving example of its genre and being a complete parody. Also, it gets a sprinkling of Heavy Business! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Ready Player One (2018)
January 21, 2021 20:03 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/01/movie-mastery-ready-player-one.mp3 If you love pop-culture references to things from the 80’s and early 90’s and also nothing else, then this is the adaptation you’ve been waiting for. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Hardcore Henry (2015)
January 08, 2021 22:15 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/01/movie-mastery-hardcore-henry.mp3 We find out if a single gimmick stretched out over an hour and a half can in some way improve upon the action movie genre. Also, Sharlto Copley gets a lot of love in this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Eragon (2006)
December 10, 2020 22:46 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/12/movie-mastery-eragon.mp3 When all the young adult novels were fighting to see who would come out on top, Eragon set itself apart by being written by a teen itself. A teen that had apparently very recently watched Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Then they made a movie. Sort of. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Cherry 2000
November 13, 2020 00:34 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/11/movie-mastery-cherry-2000.mp3 In a future dystopia where relationships are no more than business contracts, one man has the romantic passion to fall in love with his sex robot. Now he has to head away from future city, to Western Town to pick up a tracker before driving into Post Apocalypse Desert and, hey, Melanie Griffith is here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Bad Hair (2020)
October 30, 2020 02:25 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/movie-mastery-bad-hair.mp3 A Horrortoberfest special with guest star Chanel from the Arms of the Tide podcast. Thankfully the episode isn’t just two white dudes talking about a very specifically Black woman issue turned into horror movie,. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Deadcon (2019)
October 16, 2020 15:39 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/movie-mastery-deadcon.mp3 You ever wonder what would happen if the internet was haunted and social media was out to get you? Me too. Unfortunately, this movie doesn’t do that and instead is just a haunted hotel room at VidCon. Spooooooky. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Whispering Man (2019)
October 01, 2020 20:54 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/movie-mastery-the-whispering-man.mp3 Welcome to Day 1 of Horrortoberfest 2020, the year that’s already scary enough that doing this is actually a relief. Get ready for a big heaping helping of nothing as this found footage film tries to scare you with the sound of a guy not able to catch his breath. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Shaggy D.A. (1976)
September 18, 2020 23:13 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/09/movie-mastery-the-shaggy-d.a.-1976.mp3 The sequel to the movie that came out almost 20 years before this because “Hollywood has run out of ideas” is nothing new. Whacky hijinks abound in this comedy with a very strangely dark turn towards the end,. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – The Punisher (1989)
September 05, 2020 01:36 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/09/movie-mastery-the-punisher-1989.mp3 At the same time that Batman was set to make his dark entrance onto the big screen; Marvel was looking to put up their own brooding man with no super powers. But this movie has an R rating so you know it fucks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Nick Fury Agent of SHIELD (1998)
August 21, 2020 00:58 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/movie-mastery-nick-fury-1998.mp3 Before Samuel L. Jackson came along and made the character into the badass we know today; David Hasselhoff made the character into a weird Boomer Dad fantasy featuring some truly atrocious acting and directing choices. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Hulk (2003)
August 07, 2020 03:04 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/movie-mastery-hulk-2003.mp3 Before Ruffalo. Before Norton. After Ferrigno. There was Bana. In the role he was hired to play: A very boring scientist that turns into Shrek and fights his dad who is also a cloud now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – eXistenZ (1999)
July 23, 2020 22:43 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/movie-mastery-existenz.mp3 Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Total Recall and The Matrix got all Cronenberged up? Here it is but it’s kind of strange you were wondering that at all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – America 3000 (1986)
July 10, 2020 20:39 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/movie-mastery-america-3000.mp3 Neggy more must you wait for us to scan this hot plastic movie. It’s a new tomorrow and we are here to guide all you plugots and frals to a new comb. Words! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Monsturd (2003)
June 25, 2020 20:41 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/movie-mastery-monsturd.mp3 I’ll spare you a description riddled with poop jokes since that’s pretty much all going to happen in the podcast. It’s a low budget horror movie about a poop monster, there’s not a lot else to say. For bonus TV Mastery content, head over to https://www.patreon.com/posts/38619168 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Knights of Badassdom (2013)
June 11, 2020 19:35 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/movie-mastery-knights-of-badassdom.mp3 You might think that a movie like this is going to cater to our specific interests. The truth is that it is mostly laughing at nerds instead of with nerds. And that’s our job, so back off. Also be sure to check out our new bonus content over at our Patreon page here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – BMX Bandits (1982)
May 28, 2020 22:03 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/movie-mastery-bmx-bandits.mp3 It’s the 80’s in Australia and there is nothing cooler than riding BMX bikes, stealing shit you find that is obviously someone else’s, and having the worst imaginable hair. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Clockstoppers (2002)
May 15, 2020 00:57 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/movie-mastery-clockstoppers-2002.mp3 Go back in time with us and see the pure distillation of early 2000’s culture into a single movie. This one checks all the boxes of what a movie aimed at kids would have and also gets to drag around poor French Stewart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Movie Mastery – Cool as Ice (1991)
April 30, 2020 20:36 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/movie-mastery-cool-as-ice-1991-1.mp3 Like most other movies starring a celebrity that isn’t an actor, this is mostly just a vanity project that has no redeeming aspects. Plus, as a romantic(?) comedy(?), the main character gets to be a super creepy asshole and the love interest thinks it’s endearing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices