Making The Change
32 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 3 years ago -Life change therapists and married couple Nik and Eva Speakman live in an 800-year-old home in the North of England surrounded by fluffy cats. In this podcast they sit down at the kitchen table – sometimes a comfy sofa – to explore a whole host of subjects that often come up in their therapy sessions, including OCDs, eating disorders, and panic attacks. By hearing what others have overcome, and a bit of clever theory too, you’ll feel able to make a change in your life.
So, if you’re ready to learn how to make a change in your life then grab a cuppa and subscribe to this, Making The Change.
Making The Change is produced by Anouszka Tate for Orion Publishing Ltd
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Episodes
There's always hope
September 03, 2021 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43 MBNik and Eva Speakman believe it’s cruel to take hope away from people. There might not be a clear solution to your problem today, but there might be tomorrow. As they explain, hope is not only scientifically proven to boost immune function and decrease pain, but having hope that there is an answer is what will make sure you keep searching for that answer rather than giving up. Someone who is proof you should never give up hope that you can get better is listener Betty, who had a very trauma...
Deep rooted? That's just an excuse
August 27, 2021 01:00 - 33 minutes - 47.5 MBNik and Eva Speakman have a pet hate, and it’s when people are told their issues are too ‘deep rooted’ to be resolved. If you weren’t born with a phobia or anxiety, you can get over it. To prove this point, they’re joined by listener Nina who suffered with emetophobia (a fear of vomit) for 57 years, before having her perspective changed in under 10 minutes at one of The Speakmans’ workshops. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Some na...
Letting the bullies build us
August 20, 2021 01:00 - 34 minutes - 48.5 MBNik and Eva Speakman talk through why what a bully does says more about them than it does about you. They’re joined by presenter, author, and DJ Gok Wan, who recalls his experiences of being belittled and called names at school, but explains why those incidents of bullying have shaped him into the compassionate, giving person he’s known as today. Together they all share how they’ve personally been able to turn negative experiences of both physical and mental bullying into positives, ultimate...
Speaking is healing
August 13, 2021 01:00 - 32 minutes - 44.9 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why a problem shared really is a problem halved. They believe that speaking is healing, as silence can make problems feel bigger when they only live inside your own head. Talking about trauma out loud takes power away from it. The process of speaking for the first time can be incredibly difficult, so the Speakmans talk through tips including rehearsing what you want to say, and writing your story down. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #M...
It’s not what’s wrong with you, it’s what happened to you
August 06, 2021 01:00 - 33 minutes - 46.8 MBNik and Eva Speakman are joined by Jeremy and Ian, famously known as All On The Board on social media. They write positive poems and messages around mental health on the London Underground whiteboards. Their work is very personal; Jeremy has social anxiety, and Ian has a phobia of swallowing. The Speakmans help both of them look at their timelines to pin point the life events that brought on their anxieties. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on socia...
Confidence saboteurs
July 30, 2021 01:00 - 36 minutes - 50.9 MBNik and Eva Speakman are joined in their therapy room by The Chase’s ‘Vixen’ Jenny Ryan. Together, they explore their own experiences of how others have sabotaged their confidence, and how they’ve learnt to re-build their self-esteem. The Speakmans' advice includes setting clear boundaries with loved ones and looking back to change your perspective of painful experiences. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Some names and identifying ...
Anything is possible
July 23, 2021 01:00 - 35 minutes - 49.6 MBNik and Eva Speakman explore one of their twelve core schemas – the idea that anything is possible. They explain why we often create self-limiting boundaries that stop us achieving our full potential. It’s vital to believe that anything is possible because that’s what will ensure you keep looking for a solution. To prove their point, Nik and Eva invite Zion Clark on to the podcast. Born with no legs, Zion is now a professional wrestler and track and field athlete. He shares how surrounding h...
Addiction is not for life
July 16, 2021 01:00 - 31 minutes - 44.3 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why addiction is not a choice, that it’s a form of self-medication, and that the key is to understand what your brain’s positive intent in having this addiction is. A listener joins The Speakmans to talk through the technique that enabled her to stop eating the chocolate she was previously addicted to. Plus, Eva shares her own experience of how she gave up both chocolate and smoking. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on s...
Lesser known symptoms of anxiety
July 09, 2021 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.8 MBNik and Eva Speakman talk through some of the lesser known symptoms of anxiety, including sweating, developing acne, and one that a listener writes in about – heaving. They explain why being able to recognise these things as symptoms will help you find the cause, and ultimately work towards healing the underlying trauma. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Some names and identifying details in this podcast have been changed to protect...
It’s the setbacks that move us forward
July 02, 2021 01:00 - 33 minutes - 46.4 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why setbacks don’t have to set you back in life, in fact, they can be a great opportunity to actively chose your next step. Daughter Liv pops in to explain how she turned her biggest setback into motivation to work even harder towards the future she wanted, and Queen of the Jungle Vicky Pattison also talks through why obstacles in her love life and career have ultimately made her the happy woman she is today. To ask a question or share your own story use the has...
Labels are for clothes, not people
June 25, 2021 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.2 MBNik and Eva Speakman are very clear that labels are for clothes, not people, as they generally only serve to as a burden that limits what we feel we’re capable of being or achieving. If you feel weighed down by labels like anxiety, OCD, or PTSD, it’s important to remember it’s not what’s wrong with you, it’s what happened to you. To prove the point that a change can always be made, Nik and Eva are joined by a listener who has transformed her life through building her confidence and learning ...
On the good, bad, and ugly of family
December 18, 2020 02:00 - 31 minutes - 43.1 MBNik and Eva Speakman talk about how to cope with difficult relationships with family, especially over the festive period. They explain that when conflict arises in families it’s not because either person is right or wrong, it’s because they each have different expectations of the relationship and what it means to be a family, so learning to empathise and understand their point of view will always help release tension. Plus, how might looking at your own self-esteem help your relationships wi...
On festive food anxieties
December 11, 2020 02:00 - 31 minutes - 43.8 MBNik and Eva Speakman tackle disordered eating – everything from overeating and undereating, to phobias of certain foods and kids who are fussy eaters. They discuss why these problems might be exacerbated over the festive period, but also give advice to begin tackling your specific issue whenever you’re ready. Eva explains why and how her anorexia developed, and Nick reflects on being a fussy eater as a child. TW: This episode contains in depth discussion of eating disorders, so please take ...
On being smart with your smart phone
December 04, 2020 02:00 - 33 minutes - 45.9 MBNik and Eva Speakman weigh up the pros and cons of smart phone use. On the one hand, they can be great for your mental health – they can help you connect with loved ones and relive fun memories. However, they can also have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem. The Speakmans explain how to spot the warning signs that your phone use is having a negative effect on the rest of your life, before talking through tips that will help you turn your habits around, making you less anxious, and mo...
On faking it ‘til you make it
November 27, 2020 02:00 - 29 minutes - 40.9 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain what they mean when they say you should ‘fake it ‘til you make it’. Want to feel more confident in social settings or at a job interview? Study the people you admire in those situations and copy their behaviours – after all, changing your outward behaviour first can change how you think and feel on the inside. Nik, Eva, and daughter Liv all talk about the times in their lives that they’ve stepped out of their comfort zones despite not feeling completely ready …an...
On pausing your panic
November 20, 2020 02:00 - 31 minutes - 43.9 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why panic attacks are your body’s way of protecting you and keeping you safe. Creating a timeline will help make sense of your panic long term, but what are some mechanisms to pause the panic in the moment? They talk through how sighing, focusing in on your senses, and saying thank you to your body could be useful for you. Nik and Eva also open up about what triggers panic for them personally, including late night phone calls and bumps to the head. To ask a ques...
On low self-esteem and confidence
November 13, 2020 02:00 - 32 minutes - 45.2 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain how to identify if you’re experiencing a lack of confidence and self-belief. Do you struggle to accept compliments from other people? Do you justify your achievements as ‘just good luck?’ Do you often compare yourself to others? The Speakmans talk through how to pinpoint where in your life your low self-esteem might come from - including parents getting divorced, a comment from a school teacher, or perhaps social media - and how to build your confidence for the f...
On being persistent
November 06, 2020 02:00 - 28 minutes - 39.6 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why they believe persistence outweighs talent. Their son Hunter makes an appearance, telling his parents what makes him commit to achieving goals he’s set himself. The Speakmans also talk through the inspiring stories of people like Henry Ford and Jim Carey, as well as those they’ve met at their workshops, as examples of how persistence pays off. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying d...
On why a bad day isn't a bad life
October 30, 2020 02:00 - 29 minutes - 40 MBNik and Eva Speakman talk through why a bad day doesn’t equal a bad life. Do you feel like a panic attack turned a bad day into a bad life? That’s exactly what happened to a number of people the Speakmans have helped, including a woman who was agoraphobic. They explain how timelines and celebrating positive outcomes can help you learn to reframe what you think of as bad days. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying d...
On doubting yourself
October 23, 2020 01:00 - 29 minutes - 40.5 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain the thinking behind one of their favourite phrases: “when doubt comes in, kick it out”. Maybe you’re doubting whether you can get that promotion, pass that exam, or even ask someone out on a date… the Speakmans talk through how disregarding the people who don’t support you and writing a list of achievements could help. Plus, daughter Liv pops in for a cup of tea and a chat about when her university neuroscience professor doubted she was capable of understanding ...
On catastrophising
October 16, 2020 01:00 - 30 minutes - 42.5 MBNik and Eva Speakman ask: if you have an anxiety, what’s stopping you from getting better or moving forward? What do you fear will happen once you start down a new path?The Speakmans believe it’s oftenthe start that stops people, so in this episode they explain how writing down your goals, having someone to be accountable to, and using different terminology could all help you get started with conquering whatever it is you’re fearful of. To ask a question or share your own story use the hash...
On setting life goals
August 14, 2020 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.1 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why the simple act of physically writing down goals is the first step to achieving them. Also key is being both persistent and consistent, as well as never saying you’ve ‘tried everything’. Plus, they get an exciting update from a woman who set the big goal of writing a book after attending one of their workshops… To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have been c...
On creating happiness
August 07, 2020 01:00 - 32 minutes - 45.1 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain that the human brain isn’t designed to make you happy, so you have to take responsibility for your own happiness! They share the 12 schemas and beliefs that help keep them positive, including disregarding the doubters and giving others compliments. Plus, they reveal why they can’t bear the phrase ‘easier said than done’… To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have...
On anxiety
July 31, 2020 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.2 MBNik and Eva Speakman discuss a range of anxiety disorders from PTSD and OCD, to health anxieties and agoraphobia. They explain why panic attacks should be renamed ‘protection attacks’, and how to take the next step once you’ve identified the cause of your anxiety. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Books by the Speakmans: Conqueri...
On relationships
July 24, 2020 01:00 - 29 minutes - 40.6 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why strong relationships help us have better physical health and mental wellbeing. They discuss how to handle difficult relationships with colleagues, help a woman who’s feeling unappreciated by her adult children, and Eva opens up about how her life has changed after being in an abusive relationship. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have been changed to pro...
On trauma
July 17, 2020 01:00 - 26 minutes - 35.8 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain how phobias, anxieties and negative behaviours often stem from trauma – be that a near death experience, heartbreak, or even a childhood prank. They help a woman who had a traumatic car crash, and Eva has a personal realisation about the cause of one of her own fears! To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. ...
On coping with uncertainty
July 10, 2020 01:00 - 26 minutes - 36 MBNik and Eva Speakman discuss how a lot of phobias and anxiety disorders are rooted in uncertainty. They explain why sticking to a routine can help you feel more in control, and how rehearsing uncomfortable scenarios in your head can help you feel calmer about uncertainties. Always being certain and in control means always staying in your comfort zone …but the magic happens when you leave your comfort zone! To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social ...
On healthy guts and healthy minds
July 03, 2020 01:00 - 29 minutes - 40 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why good gut health means good mental health. Up to 95% of our serotonin (the happy hormone!) is created in the gut, which is why the Speakmans are so passionate about making sure you’re eating well to support your mental health. Plus, Nik reveals how his bowels helped develop their Schema therapy, and neuroscientist daughter Liv pops into the sitting room to explain the concept of neural pathways. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #Makin...
On emotional eating
June 26, 2020 01:00 - 29 minutes - 40.5 MBNik and Eva Speakman reveal how and why we often use food to self-medicate a past pain, as well as how to stop this cycle. They explain why keeping a food diary is helpful in connecting eating to certain emotions, and Eva opens up about why being bullied as a child caused her to over-eat. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Books by...
On feeling broken
June 19, 2020 06:24 - 26 minutes - 35.9 MBNik and Eva Speakman explain why no matter how you feel, you’re absolutely not broken. As Nik says, if you’re not born with something, you don’t have to live with it. They discuss the role past trauma plays in current anxiety disorders, the importance of going to a therapist with a timeline of life events, and how phobias can develop from dreams. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have be...
On being capable of change
June 12, 2020 01:00 - 30 minutes - 41.5 MBNik and Eva Speakman ask whether people really can change. Over a mug of peppermint tea, they talk through how to condition new behaviours, help a 68 year old woman who’s always suffered with anxiety, and explain why horror films play such a big part in creating phobias. To ask a question or share your own story use the hashtag #MakingTheChange on social media. Names and identifying details in this podcast have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Books by the Speakmans: C...
Making The Change: trailer
June 04, 2020 17:34 - 1 minute - 2.36 MBLife change therapists and married couple Nik and Eva Speakman live in an 800-year-old home in the North of England surrounded by fluffy cats. In this podcast they sit down at the kitchen table – sometimes a comfy sofa – to explore a whole host of subjects that often come up in their therapy sessions, including OCDs, eating disorders, and panic attacks. By hearing what others have overcome, and a bit of clever theory too, you’ll feel able to make a change in your life. So, if you’re rea...