Looking For The Middle: The Christian’s Guide to Modern Dating
350 episodes - English - Latest episode: 3 months ago - ★★★★★ - 159 ratingsThe Christian’s Guide To Modern Dating.
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Episodes
12 Days of CouchCast: Day 6 - Help! My Best Friend's Boyfriend is Flirting with Me
December 18, 2020 10:00 - 12 minutes - 22.9 MBI do not envy you being in this position! If you find yourself in this situation, this is not fun! We talk through several possible scenarios and how to handle each of them.
12 Days of CouchCast: Day 5 - Do I Actually Like Him or is He Just a Really Nice Guy?
December 17, 2020 10:00 - 13 minutes - 23.9 MBWhew! This was a loaded question! There is so much variation and nuance to situations like this it's hard to always know which way to go... We're going to take a high level look at this and pull from some of our own personal experiences to guide this conversation.
12 Days of CouchCast: Day 4 - Should You Tell Your Friends Everything?
December 16, 2020 14:00 - 21 minutes - 39.1 MBWe're talking about boundaries today... but the usual type of boundaries. We're answering the question of what is ok to tell your friends about your dating life and what should just stay between you and your boyfriend. We all tend to tell our friends everrrrything, but this helps us stop take a step back and make sure we're respecting the privacy of our partner too.
Love at the Holidays
December 16, 2020 10:00 - 58 minutes - 107 MBDoes life really imitate art? Should finding love at the holidays really be as easy as it is in those Hallmark movies we all watch at Christmas? In a word, nope! It's never that easy and in fact, it is probably harder around the holidays. We're talking through some pitfalls to watch out for, some ways to avoid them, and don't worry there's a healthy discussion about those cheesy movies we all hate to love! ;)
12 Days of CouchCast: Day 3 - All About "Breadcrumbing"
December 15, 2020 10:00 - 17 minutes - 32.3 MBY'all. This episode made us feel old. We had no clue what "breadcrumbing" was when we first got this question... there was much googling involved! lol But, we have looked into it some and we're here to give our thoughts on how to tell if someone is breadcrumbing you, how long to wait to see if they might eventually actually like you, and how to move past someone who just stays in that non-committal place.
12 Days of CouchCast: Day 2 - Is it Ok for Girls to Ask Guys Out?
December 14, 2020 10:00 - 13 minutes - 24.4 MBIs it ok for girls to ask guys out? I think this is far and away the most asked question we get! It's such a tough question to answer too... Is it wrong? No! Is it always the best choice? Also no! I know, I know... we're no help! But, today we're looking at a particular situation involving one of our listeners and offering some ideas and tips that will hopefully help all of you in this situation.
12 Days of CouchCast: Day 1 - Is Chivalry a Thing of the Past?
December 13, 2020 10:00 - 14 minutes - 25.9 MBOn the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..... A healthy dose of chivalry! Today, we're taking a look at the question of whether or not it's reasonable to expect chivalry from a guy or if it's just a thing of the past.
Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart - An Interview with Kristen Clark
December 09, 2020 10:00 - 53 minutes - 98.5 MBWe had such a wonderful time chatting with Kristen Clark from Girl Defined Ministries last week. She had so much great Biblical insight and encouragement on these topics of sex, purity, lust, and overcoming temptation and sin! If you enjoy this, be sure and grab a copy of her book Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart here.
Have We Found the Middle?
December 02, 2020 12:19 - 57 minutes - 106 MBWe've been looking for it for two years now, so today we're walking through some of the things we've experienced, learned, changed as we've been on this journey to find the middle. Also, be sure to listen all the way to the end for an exciting announcement of something coming up in next week's episode!
CouchCast: Ways to Get out of a Bad 1st Date
November 27, 2020 10:00 - 13 minutes - 25.3 MBStuck on a super awkward first date with no end in sight? We've got you covered! Several ways to get out of the date and not embarrass anyone... and some of them might not be what you would expect!
An Open Letter to the Church on Singleness
November 25, 2020 13:32 - 1 hour - 146 MBWhew! Y'all, we're getting all our words out this week! We have compiled our thoughts on all (or almost all) of the things we wish the church knew about being single, the things we wish the church did better, and the things we so appreciate that the church does well.
Men Tell All! An Interview with Jared
November 18, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 157 MBIn this Men Tell All episode, we interviewed Kristen's boss, Jared. He is a great godly husband and father who brings a great variety of perspective to this series. We ask him some of our tried and true questions as well as some new and different ones. It was a great discussion and we learned a lot!!
Backstage Pass: What Things are Girls Willing to Let Go Of?
November 13, 2020 13:12 - 20 minutes - 37.4 MBThis is a great question from one of our guy listeners! "What things are on your list of what you're looking for that you aren't willing to let go of?". We talk about the things that would be our absolute deal breakers and which things are ones that we can let go of.
Lies We Believe About Dating
November 11, 2020 15:45 - 1 hour - 128 MBIf you're anything like the two of us, you've believed all of these lies about dating at one point or another. Whether it's something you told yourself or something someone else said. We are drawing on our experience, both past and present, battling these lies as we help you think about them biblically. "Marriage will fix everything", "I can fix him", "It'll be different this time" and more!
Biggest Insecurities Going into a Date
November 04, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 122 MBWe asked! You answered! This episode is entirely inspired by your answers to our question over on Instagram about what your biggest insecurities were going into a date. Such great responses and we're going to tackle them together!
CouchCast: Should I be Worried if My Boyfriend Cheated in His Last Relationship?
October 30, 2020 09:00 - 13 minutes - 23.9 MBGreat listener question today! We're looking at some of the things to consider, questions to ask, and decisions to make when faced with this tough situation.
Preferences, Obstacles, and Red Flags... Oh My!
October 28, 2020 09:00 - 57 minutes - 105 MBIf you're anything like us, you struggle to figure out which "bucket" to put things into too... preference, obstacle, or red flag. You've probably asked yourself "Am I making a bigger deal out of this preference than I should?" "Am I downplaying red flags?" "What should even be a red flag?" Those are some things we're talking about today as we figure out what should go where when you're getting to know someone.
Is There Something Wrong With Me?
October 21, 2020 09:00 - 57 minutes - 106 MBIf we're honest, we've all asked ourselves this question at one time or another when it comes to dating. Times of frustration. Times of confusion. Times of feeling alone. But, should you really even be asking this question? Today, we're going to get to the bottom of that as we look at when we're prone to asking this question, what we're thinking when we ask it, and how to combat the thought process that gets us to this point.
Backstage Pass: Should I Ask Before Kissing Her or Does It Kill the Mood?
October 16, 2020 09:00 - 16 minutes - 30.5 MBSuch a great question from one of our guy listeners! We had to bring in reinforcements for this one... Lindsay (Bethany's sister) and Lauren (Kristen's roommate) are joining us to add some more perspective to this question. Guys, if you have any other dating questions you want answered from a female perspective, send them our way and we'll get them on the air for you!
Kill the Weeds: Overcoming Common Dating Frustrations
October 14, 2020 09:06 - 46 minutes - 84.6 MBToday, we're talking about some very common dating frustrations we all encounter to some degree... skepticism, bitterness, expectations.... all of those fun things. So, we're going to take a look at some things you can use to replace those frustrations... excitement, forgiveness, and more!!
Lessons from Heartbreak
October 07, 2020 11:00 - 54 minutes - 100 MBToday, we're taking a broader look at heartbreak and breakups. Last time we did an episode on heartbreak and disappointment (season 3, episode 23), it was more specifically about getting through a current breakup. This episode takes a look at general themes and lessons we can learn from breakups in general, not as much of a specific situation.
CouchCast: How to Spot Red Flags/Not Overlook Them When Things are Going Well
October 02, 2020 09:00 - 17 minutes - 32.7 MBThis is a great topic! Sometimes, when things are going really well with this new guy you're seeing, you can overlook things or have blindspots about him because you want it to work out so badly. It's natural! We all do this to some degree. But, then we find ourselves getting hurt the same ways over and over. So, today we're taking a look at how to avoid this common frustration!
Clear As Mud!
September 30, 2020 09:00 - 44 minutes - 82.4 MBEveryone says they want clarity in their relationships... but everyone also says relationships are confusing and lack clarity. So, if this is something everyone wants, but no one seems to be getting... where are we going wrong? That is the heart of our discussion today!
Am I Ruining My Chances of Dating my Guy Friend?
September 23, 2020 09:00 - 49 minutes - 91 MBI think we've probably all asked ourselves this at some point... there was that one guy friend that you kind of like as more than a friend, but you don't know what to do because you've always been 'just friends'. Oh the friend zone... so easy to find yourself there, so hard to get out of it! So, today we're answering that question... Am I ruining my chances of dating a guy by being friends with him first?
Backstage Pass: Things to Never Put on Your Dating Profile
September 18, 2020 09:00 - 23 minutes - 43.2 MBWelcome, Guys!! We're so glad to have you here! It's our 1st ever Backstage Pass episode! We are here to answer the dating questions you've always had, but didn't know who to ask. We'll give you an honest female perspective on those things you've wondered about. Up first today, we are looking at some things you might want to stay away from on your dating profile. You don't ever get to see other guys' profiles, but we do, and these are things we see a lot that might not be translating to the ...
Pro's and Con's of Long Distance Relationships
September 16, 2020 14:10 - 50 minutes - 92.4 MBSometimes long distance relationships get kind of a bad reputation as just being awful all around. There are some good aspects to them though. and we wanted to give those good things some air time along with the bad too!
Dating for the Beginner (of every age and stage)
September 09, 2020 09:00 - 46 minutes - 84.6 MBWhether you're high school, college, post-college, or in your 30's and beyond... trying to figure out dating for the first time is a daunting task! We've got some tips for navigating this tricky experience regardless of how old you are and then some specific things you can do to make dating as a beginner in your specific life stage easier too.
CouchCast: Is it Ever a Good Idea to Date a Co-Worker?
September 04, 2020 09:00 - 11 minutes - 21 MBSuch a great question! We talk about the pros and cons of dating a co-worker and the steps to take beforehand to hopefully alleviate any awkwardness if it doesn't work out. And, obviously there are some references from The Office... I mean, come on, do you know us at all?? :)
The Difference Between 'Trying' and 'Trying too Hard'
September 02, 2020 09:00 - 54 minutes - 101 MBSeason 5 is here!! This is the premiere topic you guys voted on over on IG! We're covering 7 different ways to tell you might be trying too hard and coming across a little desperate for a guy's attention and then several ways to know that you are putting in an appropriate amount of effort.
CouchCast: Can Your Standards Be Too High?
August 28, 2020 09:00 - 16 minutes - 31 MBHave you ever been told you're too picky? Have you ever wondered if it's true? Today, we're talking about the standards that you should hold high and the ones that it might be ok to let go of... were they ever really standards or were they just preferences that got a little out of control? Find out!
CouchCast: How Do I Not Take Rejection Personally?
August 21, 2020 09:00 - 14 minutes - 25.9 MBSometimes we default to assuming that anytime a guy doesn't want to go out with us it's because he doesn't find us attractive... sure, this can be part of it, but it's not always the whole picture. We've got some helpful tips for not taking rejection so personally and some ways you can change your mindset to make it easier.
CouchCast: Help! There's a Clingy/Obsessive Guy in My Friend Group.
August 14, 2020 09:00 - 11 minutes - 21.8 MBHave you ever had to deal with a guy who just didn't seem to get the hint? Maybe he's asked you out several times and you always tell him no, but he still won't let it go? That's the situation we're dealing with today. Ideas for being direct, but not rude, when to involve other people, and when to just cut off contact entirely.
CouchCast: Is "Playing Hard to Get" Ever a Good Idea?
August 07, 2020 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19.6 MBIn Christian circles, we're told to "leave the ball in his court", "make him pursue you", and on and on... this can easily translate for us girls into playing hard to get. Is this really ever a good idea? That's what we're taking a look at today!
CouchCast: Thoughts on Missionary Dating
July 31, 2020 09:00 - 17 minutes - 32.6 MBThis is a fantastic question! When (is it ever?) is it ok to date someone who isn't a Christian or someone who believes some very different things than you do as long as they're willing to learn/try your way? There is a lot of nuance and moving parts to this question, but we're so glad you asked it and think it's a really important topic!
CouchCast: What Does a Godly Relationship Look Like?
July 24, 2020 09:00 - 15 minutes - 27.8 MBWe're taking a quick look at what a Godly relationship looks like today. This is a really broad topic and could get really deep, but we're just pulling out a few major categories and talking about what it means to have a Godly relationship in those specific areas. Communication, Conflict, Community...
CouchCast: Juggling Multiple Conversations on a Dating App
July 17, 2020 12:48 - 11 minutes - 21.8 MBThis was such a great listener question! It's always so tricky figuring out how much to share, when to move to only talking to one person, what questions to ask, all of it. We're taking a deeper look at our own experiences with this and sharing some tips we've learned along the way.
Season 4 Blooper Reel!
July 10, 2020 09:07 - 2 minutes - 4.23 MBI don't think this one needs much explanation! Enjoy laughing with us at us! :D
CouchCast: Tips for Moving on When Your Ex is Dating Someone New
July 03, 2020 09:00 - 10 minutes - 18.5 MBWhew! This is a loaded question guys! We're talking about ways to make it easier when your ex starts dating someone new... everything from handling social media, to getting your heart right, to maybe finding someone new yourself!
To the Man I'll Date in the Future
July 01, 2020 15:48 - 47 minutes - 87.8 MBIt's the season 4 finale! This episode is dedicated to the (currently hypothetical) men we'll date next. This is an episode looking at what we want guys to know about dating and relationships from the female perspective and also the things we are committing to do now to prepare ourselves and our lives for when we meet them.
CouchCast: Things to Know Before Getting Engaged
June 26, 2020 09:00 - 12 minutes - 22.8 MBWhat topics should you discuss before you accept a proposal? That's what we're talking about today... there were 4 main topics that we thought were important. You'll have to listen to find out what they are!
Why is Dating So Hard?
June 24, 2020 09:00 - 52 minutes - 96 MBWe started this episode with a question and a blank slate. Then, we posed this question to our listeners on Instagram and boy did they have answers! This episode is inspired entirely by those answers! Be sure to listen to the whole episode... you may just hear your answer read on air!
CouchCast: What is the Best Message Pace in an Online Dating App?
June 19, 2020 09:00 - 15 minutes - 28.8 MBToday we're talking about the best pace and frequency for messaging on an online dating app. This is a tough one to narrow down to a specific time, but more about matching the interest level you feel. Listen for the details!
Should I Wait for Him to Change?
June 17, 2020 09:00 - 55 minutes - 102 MBOh the age old question.... today we're taking a stab at it! We're also looking at the problem of extended adolescence in our culture and the impact it may have on this. Do I wait for him to change? Grow up? Figure out what he wants?
CouchCast: Online Dating Profiles... Don't Let This Happen to You!
June 12, 2020 11:52 - 16 minutes - 30.2 MBToday, we're going through several different things that you should really avoid putting on your dating profile online or on an app. Lie about your height/body type? All group pics? Try to gloss over the fact that you're not divorced yet? Nope. All bad ideas. Listen now for the rest.
Men Tell All! An Interview with Dylan
June 10, 2020 11:40 - 47 minutes - 87.1 MBClarity, Patience, Balance... These are all words that came up over and over in our interview! And, I bet these are all things you're looking for more of in your relationships. Today, we sat down with Dylan in an extended conclusion to our Men Tell All series from back in December. He brings some perspective to our younger listeners who are in high school and college.
CouchCast: Helpful Singleness Resources
June 05, 2020 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19 MBIn today's CouchCast, we're going through some of the resources that have benefited us greatly in our singleness. One book that was even one of the biggest inspirations in our starting this podcast! Links to the resources we talked about today: Love in Every Season True Love Dates She's Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle Passion & Purity
Don't Lose Hope!
June 03, 2020 11:07 - 49 minutes - 91.3 MBDating is tough these days guys, we get it! We've all been tempted to lose hope when it comes to trying to find someone. We've all had to navigate not giving into that temptation. Today, we're talking about the different times we've been frustrated or felt hopeless when it comes to dating. We're talking about things we've said or done that have been helpful with that and also a few that haven't too.
CouchCast: How Can I Get Over My Ex if I Still Have to See Him All the Time?
May 29, 2020 09:00 - 15 minutes - 27.8 MBThis is such a tough place to be! You just got your heart broken and now you have to see the cause of that heartbreak constantly! Today, we're talking about how to practically navigate something like that as well as looking to the Lord and realizing that no matter how alone you feel, you never really are.
6 Guys You Should NOT Want tp Date (Part 2)
May 27, 2020 09:57 - 42 minutes - 77.6 MBWe are here with part 2 of the 6 guys you should not want to date. Today, we're talking about the guy who won't talk about the future, the guy who is controlling, and the guy who isn't teachable. All very important things to look out for in someone you want to or are dating. We'll tell you how to spot them and when it might be time to end it.
CouchCast: Thoughts on Dating With a Big Age Gap
May 22, 2020 09:00 - 12 minutes - 22.4 MBhis week's CouchCast is about dating with an age gap... is age just a number? We talk about the age range we both try to stay within and why. Does it matter if one of you is significantly older than the other or is maturity really what matters?