GYLTG 170: 5 Ways to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

Uncertainty does a number on all of us, even the most mindful. It makes us question ourselves, our experiences, and how we navigate the world. It’s almost a given for many that once uncertainty settles within their thought process, second-guessing every thought that comes after every possible solution takes over and runs rampant.

This week’s question comes from a personal friend. She texted me, “D, I’ve been thinking about what you said to me the other day about second-guessing myself. You said, ‘Second-guessing yourself delays your decisions and never changes the ultimate outcome. When you release the need to figure everything out at once, you’ll open your mind, allow for actual possibilities and solutions, and break the need to stress a problem to death.’ I’ve been thinking about those words. I know you are right, but you didn’t tell me how to stop second-guessing. I know, you know. So, spill it!”

Okay, I’m happy to spill it! But first, let me lay some truths on the table.

1. You will never know everything.

2. There are not too many irreversible decisions.

3. We can go further and say there are very few catastrophic decisions.

How often have you said, “Did I just say that?” “Did I really  just do that?” So, what is second-guessing exactly? Second-guessing means criticizing or questioning a decision before or after it’s been made.

So, let’s return to my friend’s original question – how do we stop this pattern?

The first step is to offer yourself permission to do what is right for you – the best version of what’s right for yourself.

Next, step two: Work to be as confident as you can.

Three: Trust what you do.

Fourth: Think about the long-term effect of your short-term decisions.

Fifth: Become more accustomed to making quicker decisions.

Lastly, Be kind to yourself.

Essentially, what it comes down to is being willing to leap. Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to get out of the past. Be willing to see yourself and look at home things impact and affect you. Making choices is a part of life. No one is getting out of that.

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