How to control your thoughts and manage depression #19

Find your voice - Episode 19- "How to control your thoughts and manage depression" - Alex Roberts #19

Tagline: "Do what you want to do, not what people want you to do "

Alex Roberts, was a recommended to me by a friend and little did I know he was actually a neighbour...well almost! Despite sharing the same postcode, love for personal training, fitness, heath and mindset we also shared a lot of personal stories in this episode.

More so from Alex who bravely who showcases his vulnerability by openly talking about depression, anxiety and his struggles with grief and the loss of his father. A genuinely humble guy who has achieved success by just being himself and helping people on a daily basis. His approach to self talk has inspired and motivated me, and he hits on so many key aspects during this interview that we can all implement and take on board to enhance our levels of happiness and mindset

A shining example that what you see, isn't what you always get and the importance of never judging a book by its cover.

I thank Alex for his openness, his bravery and for being an all round great guy. I urge you all to support and follow his journey as he is a great person to know and connect with.

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Website: https://www.alexrobertsfitness.co.uk

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlexRobertsPersonalTraining

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliro898/

Have an awesome day

#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to another episode of find your voice my

name is Aren and as always I am the

host of the show so I'm extremely

excited to be bringing you Alex Roberts

to the show today and Alex is somebody

who was actually recommended to me via a

friend now alex is a personal trainer

similar to myself we have similar

interests but what really struck a chord

with me when I spoke to Alex prior to

him coming on this episode was he's

battled with anxiety over well and

depression now I can't diagnose myself

in depression because I've never been

clinically diagnosed with it but when it

comes to ins ie a novel one boy can I

relate so it was extremely interesting

to hear his side of this and I suppose

when many of you follow his journey

after this which I'm very soon you're

gonna want to do you're gonna see his

social media profile and think wow is

this the guy on the episode because like

many of us we judge a book by its cover

and Alex when you see his cover on

Instagram you wouldn't necessarily think

this is an individual who perhaps

suffers in the way that he explains on

this interview so I think without

further ado we're gonna get straight

into this and once again I just want to

thank everyone for their amazing support

we've now hit well over 100 reviews

thank you so so much for that

okay so firstly I just want to thank

Alex for coming on the show today how

you doing today I'm fine

you good where is good fantastic yeah

I'm not you're coming you sure it's

alright that's good stuff so I know Alex

briefly we've spoken obviously on social

media that's where we connected we're

actually neighbors we don't live too far

from each other actually five minutes

literally yes so I think it's important

for the listeners who are listening to

this

today to get to understand a little bit

about yourself so a little bit about

your story and basically what's brought

you here in your life situation today

I've recently been doing my own sort of

videos and songs are in depression

myself I've never really experienced any

mental health problems at all until I

lost my dad four years ago now yeah four

years ago I didn't had a single problem

didn't really suffer from anxiety

depression or anything but it seemed to

be that significant sort of traumatic

moment and brought brought a number of

problems okay as such so yeah I'd say

the 1 4 Matic man was obviously losing

my dad which then spiraled on to a

number of other things later down the

line a first sort of new heir sort of

mental health problems was funnily

enough when out in New York the

Christmas okay after I'd lost my dad

I was literally walking down one of the

streets going towards Grand Central

Station and I'm I just felt so like

overwhelmed it was said he was so

strained and that felt anything like had

just overwhelmed and I was just like

Bestway describing he was trapped inside

my own head rocky do you Jonesy no I

mean I sort of trapped in my own head

and I was I was just really overwhelmed

for no particular reason at all and

that's when that's um the main sort of

defining defining time where I sort of

felt and knew but I was suffering from

sort of mental elf right and this was

four years ago yeah how old are you know

if you don't want me that's for 27 so

you're 27 so around the age of 23 was

you so just for the listeners now

obviously I know you're a personal

trainer you've been doing personal

training for how many years five or six

five six years so you actually a

personal trainer at this point as well

yes okay so in terms of we'll jump back

to where you are now so in terms unlike

your general life going up to say 23

before this moment happened what kind of

stuff was you do was it was you always

into the training the model those inter

trained not not so much to mine okay so

the mind absolutely not I don't think

many of us know what

no I'm not yeah not a thing I was very

sporty I play good level of rugby player

after County fantastic I was at

university very very very carefree okay

I'd say I really didn't give it yeah

absolutely

very carefree very still I'm out going

to an extent now but slightly a bit more

reserved let's say we're very bubbly I

was on track with with Union stuff but

yeah in terms of tuning into the mind or

so into is my intuition if you if you'd

like and then when you had that tragic

moment when you lost your dad that's

when I started realizing order in a

second it's one thing training our body

it's another thing yeah yeah later

percent and have you so what have you

done then since then cuz obviously

you're similar to me in that respect so

I we touched on it briefly before this

sometime personal training myself right

yeah and I understand the importance of

you know looking after yourself

physically but more so now I train every

day more for this ya know Mike and

people don't get that people might think

is for aesthetics or for a six-pack or

something it's truly not yeah it's truly

two combines ie not have that V anymore

yeah is that something that you do as

well so I think now yeah training is

very much a part of me improving my

mindset as well now it's probably the

most essential thing for me now

so I know it's a difference when I don't

train serotonin levels drop in except I

know some big difference

lack of energy that's not now was the

that was the main one for me cuz I had a

week off my own training a couple of

weeks back and I was just tired and

waking up tired going to bed tired it

was just yeah boy it's one of them like

but then you start self sabotaging

yourself don't you for not draining them

well in reality your body needs to rest

but yeah I mean it's very important for

the mindset nonetheless and the more

people can recognize that yeah the

better creasy's yourself were you've got

goal you've got a target point you gotta

you've got a goal point focal point

mm-hmm so in terms of briefly you meant

like the mental health thing would you

call it anxiety and overwhelm or would

you actually call it depression have you

been diagnosed or is it something that

your yeah I mean oh yeah well I suffered

well still suffer from anxiety now okay

but I had my main by that bad episode

last January I have nowhere right

absolutely out of nowhere so obviously

when I lost my dad I was quite low and

Bobby that will be the best time very

numb okay maybe didn't understand as

much as I should have done what was

going on maybe so I sort of known to the

feeling's boffing last January that that

was a real scary moment or a scary point

I think my sleep started to go and once

you sleep starts where you don't deal

very well with all our suffering with

insomnia this was about two weeks so I

jumped on some medication friends are in

depression and slowly slowly start to

lift okay and it was quite amazing

really because we've in the space of a

year

I don't it's mad mad to think about a

bought Mustang right I traveled over I

know another free countries child

another three countries changed

workplaces again and I'm not saying this

was from the tablets whatsoever but I

also think another defining thing I

bought some of Tony Robbins he's content

okay a big mindset guy guru and I bought

his content and did that for three or

four weeks and that was a bit of a game

changer as well that's brilliant

so in the space of six months to a year

and switched from literally rock-bottom

I mean when I say rock-bottom I was I

had to move to my mom's for about two

weeks would you say you were ever

suicidal I had thoughts I've never had

never come tried to commit now I did

have thoughts but I would never do okay

I know but never done it but and yeah I

got to that I got to that sort of very

low point

just lying on a sofa watching the TV and

he was he was a terrible terrible part I

think my mom was really shocked as well

that I've gone from that to that point

in course here it was crazy

Wow and I was helpless to it mmm it felt

like I couldn't do anything like now

obviously in hindsight you can recognize

you were in this kind of slum yeah yeah

so in that particular moment would you

oblivious to it like how you acted right

okay not clear okay couldn't do a thing

it's crazy it was literally at zero Wow

and it was a kind of Tommy Tory Robin

sorry Tony well and it's fully enough so

watch these pearl he's got he's got a

program on that let's call them I am NOT

your guru yeah and I watched that every

day for like five days I'm going to cry

a lot yeah I was crying there's one

scene with it with the lady who had

suicidal woman yeah yeah that's what

pulled me out of it okay the suicidal

woman when she said like I can't cope no

more a car and that was a turning point

I vote no more of this now yeah yeah got

myself back into work so obviously at

this point I was in Ireland

okay I'm self-employed or wasn't earning

I'm off work I'm in January a really

busy periods of all these sports all

these sports are going on yeah yeah but

yet just completely overwhelmed felt

like I was way out of control

Wow didn't have a clue what was going on

how to tackle it so this six-month

transition now you've got you've got the

Mustang you've gone travelling you've

sort of lifted yourself back up again

yeah sort of finding your way again

yeah is that a recent event now are we

talking is that now her arm

how's your position right now good

strong fantastic strong I mean from last

January to this January's been very

strong okay and so on food threat this

year and just find that then so I

followed Tony Robbins I follow a lot of

pa yeah because I have to how I put food

in my mouth how I lift weights I have to

also put stuff into my mind yeah Bagon

on that sort of stuff whatever it is

whoever you you know you resonate with I

think you should put it into you yeah

yeah because otherwise you start

watching the news your thoughts are

completely the wrong way yeah in with

the way that I wouldn't recommend if you

want like a strong mindset yeah so so

that's it

and so what I want to know now is

obviously you're in a good place now

touch briefly on the gym stuff what's

your daily habits like now because I'm

thinking there's probably a thousand

people listening to this who can

resonate with what you've just gone

through the anxiety that feeling of just

being in a rock yeah and I believe that

motivation doesn't last forever and it

comes down to a level of discipline to

kind of just get over those bad days

yeah so what kind of routines do you do

on there like a daily basis I mean I try

my best to sort of get up the same time

every day quickly c'est quoi best 7

Harper 7 mmm saying you've got that

solid routine

I normally have breakfast as normal I

won't so I'll prep the food for the day

ahead or the on coming days because I'd

normally have gaps ok in between clients

I can pop em and prep all the food yo D

it's fresh then as well of course I'm

fortunate enough that I can come back

home and get obviously so I've got a

stress with crap not saying it's a bad

thing to prep into brilliant things yeah

absolutely I don't do that anymore I

could do so close myself yeah I can just

come pop back so they're not all go to

work do like my morning sessions maybe

straight through into the afternoon then

train and maybe come back then a few

more you need depends on what the

Diaries looking like okay nighttime I

don't really have caffeine past 2 3

o'clock ok I cook caffeine off I'm not

too picky with food late at night

doesn't it doesn't really bother me yeah

as long song again and that calories

that any impaired a that

really matter fury at 11 o'clock or not

more so more freedom like yeah I like to

sleep like yeah yeah say yeah

then I'll obviously do what I was going

on meeting where the chat with friends

girls whatever whatever's on the agenda

I don't normally train in evenings okay

not normally I'd normally have it

wrapped up by get out of the way free

p.m. yeah training do you listen to

books do you read books do you do any

gratitude or goal-setting or anything

like that yeah it's funny enough for all

you're gonna see this is mad as well

oh I'd actually vote when I was in this

row yeah or as I was just coming out of

it last year I droped some goals down

and every single one was it happened it

was AMA I wrote it down on piece of

paper and stuck on the side of my bed on

the cupboard and one was buy a new card

said Range Rover originally why don't I

upped it out a lot but that was one I

got a new car yeah trap wait this is so

weird since it said travel to free

another three countries you've never

been to yeah we're not in trouble I went

to Dublin I went to Budapest I went to

Zurich Switzerland

damn what was the other Craig this is

the craziest one I think once said moot

move Jim places because it will change

the game this was these worldwide okay

Andy

I did that you spoke about the lid yeah

plastic my mindset was gone from there

to learn so I wasn't particularly happy

at work yeah mr. just was not helping

matters whatsoever yeah but it was just

weird and every single one that I wrote

down yeah yeah and I didn't refer back

to him all until one day I just looked

him before yeah yeah well this is the

thing so I'm very big on personal

development like I pride myself on my

last job think I read like 50 books or

something okay and the first ever this

is this is why we were quite similar

when I was 25 I was working in London at

the time and the first person

development guru I ever found was 20

Robbins yeah so I was listening to his

stuff I mean one of these tapes he

mentions writing it down and the

importance of goals and I remember I

that particular point I wrote down

I think it was like two three cause a

common belief there Birnam the phase 2

and it was 2 1 buy a house and two to

buy a golf always wanted a golf croquet

you could never afford one like mom and

dad blessing they brought me a fiat

punto which is like the best time ever

yeah it was all we could afford and is

your first car loved it to bits but in

my head was always like if I can get a

golf kind of made it yeah and at that

time again in a row tip I forgot about

it until about two three years later and

I'm getting a Scirocco cuz they've just

come out a stroke I look hard before

yeah they are amazing my kind of the

fault of sure up so ever so I'm meant to

get involved it's just kind of like in

my eyes a bit man upgrade yeah and I've

got buying my first investment hold and

so it was weird because I remember

finding my books women burrows moving as

a what's this and I'll pretend it's my

goals and that's why every time I've

done it it has worked so now one of my

kind of practices on every morning is to

what my goals now nothing you've just

proven that yes yes because what happens

subconsciously you're almost seeing the

opportunities out there and you're

probably driving more towards a 100

percent so yeah yeah I mean I write

goals down and what was everything was

talking about I meditate 39 ok yeah it's

when I was struggling in that bad past

I've seen tell okay can ask what your

meditation process is I just use a any

YouTube app that I really can we're rich

one for grieving cried she just loved it

I mean this loads so simple it's a

simple matter of I'm just thinking for

the listeners get on YouTube the stuffs

out there type in minute yeah yeah for

however long you can do it yeah yeah and

until you fall asleep

really that's why also you do at night

yeah I do it at night I don't really

tend to do a probably a good idea

because if you're anything like me but

I've got to sleep and I'm worrying about

other things I've got to do the name

yeah that's how the brain works so it's

very seductive at night isn't it yeah so

I tend to do it at night and sometimes I

won't use it if I'm quite chilled I'll

just go straight to sleep

it'll depend yeah yeah so your food

obviously you're a personal trainer and

I'm probably the worst person trying to

give food advice because I used to

suffer with binge eating I would be very

flexible with my diet so if I fancy

something I'm just gonna eat it because

I don't have been doin it later yeah so

my diet is a bit like I do get responses

on Instagram but how are you eating this

again to me it's all about calories yeah

you know what goes into your body you

barely enough effectively European K

yeah yeah body composition so have you

got any particular foods that you eat or

again um now I mean so up more flex

we're gonna try and cut down like so

obviously I've been bulking for Trump on

some mass a while now I finally hit 15

stone plus now so I think I'm back down

to 15 stone now was 15 stone fight four

weeks ago

yeah I'm 15 stone now so I'm quite

regimented leave it now as I cut down

when I'm trying to bulk up I'm not as

recommending I'm still in terms of the

foods I mean I'll keep the same foods

like every I'll change them up every two

weeks so if a breakfast still be oats

whey protein powder and not salt Ana's

milk yeah then two big meals of like

chicken noodle stir-fry and the last me

that we salmon I'm right and I'll be the

same for two weeks and ostrich eat of

wire okay it seems to be working

yeah and then obviously hydration is

asleep yeah I have loads I only drink

water really water and tea I could

pretty much have the same food I suppose

on all the time my only thing is when I

first died I took a everything that

you'd consider open commas here a bad

food yeah and then what was happening

was I did that for about 18 months I was

so strict and the moment I stopped

dieting because I gave up boxing all of

a sudden mate I was in like 10,000

calories a day to that to that really

honestly to the point last um what would

be here I'd be out with the missus and I

couldn't buy the car back because I was

just like glued up like the night

professor horrible and what used to

happen was I used to beat up for two

days Friday Saturday sometimes

absolutely hate myself swear at myself

in the mirror and I used to go to the

gym three times a day up until the

following Thursday and then what I do is

I use down to like 1800 so I'm wondering

in overtraining and then all of a sudden

come Friday again when I go out for a

drink

I'm drink and obviously then you lose

all your common sense and I've do the

10,000 Kelly thing again slow so I'll

use this thing called my fitness park

which yeah mate he was like this just

like you all the time so I've got over

that too hypnotherapy and why I did it

and then that's why now I'm very

flexible in my process of said that you

percent my diet is like nutrient-dense

food you know that the stuff that you

years they're talking about but then the

last day if I want a biscuit or a

chocolate you're gonna see me do it

basically okay so yeah it's interesting

yeah yeah why were we accessible it's um

it's crew shoulder yeah I mean I wish I

had more of a nutrient-dense style at

yourself I just think there's also an

argument for sustainability as well yeah

you've got other diets sustainable and

you've got to enjoy it because that's

gonna have mental implications if not as

well if you're not enjoying your food in

it everything looks back to the point if

you're not enjoying your food you're not

gonna sustain it yeah therefore your

body's not maybe where it's supposed to

be or where you want it to be therefore

the mental problems coming it's all it's

all interlinked of course everything's

interlink to it and just on the mental

health thing there that you that you're

on about so would you say that's

probably the biggest adversity that

you've been through during that time and

for the listeners because I'm sure

through our life we're all gonna lose

somebody very close to us and go for

that sort of patch in our life

what were the lessons that you learn

from it and how did you fully get over

it god Jerry's the 100 percent the

biggest adversity I've never experienced

anything like that my entire life not

even when the day my dad passed okay I

didn't feel as bad right as I did last

January the emotional pain was just as a

sailor's overwhelming do you think it

was a build-up from I think every what

happened was rock so I went see a

counselor like last and late last year

going into early this year because I've

never I never had a proper bereavement

counseling and I still had loads of

stuff underlined and I think that's what

the bill that was okay so imagine having

that much emotional pain build-up for

what three years and just explode an

alpha to correlate shape yeah it's just

it's just gone explode in the air yeah

and I tell you in terms of the lessons

learn I think the bereavement counselor

definitely helped me to understand as

interesting the stuff and the lessons

that I learned were the grief has no

timeline

it's now got a time line there's no

proper way to grieve yeah yeah it's okay

to feel back you've got it you've got to

feel these emotions you've got to feel

the emotions and not subdue them okay

see if you subdued him you have an

episode like I did and that's I wouldn't

wish that wish that were my worst enemy

[Music]

another lesson was probably I learned

that I'm strong a lot stronger than a

fault of I thought you were yeah yeah to

get through that I mean there's not much

to phase me now to be honest if I can

come over that they're in the fin and

and this is one of the things I've tried

to do with this podcast as well

is I don't want somebody to go through

what you've just been through you know

to lose their parent and then go through

the pressure what I wanted to do is

realize the last point you said that was

just amazing it's but stronger than we

we know we are and that we think we're

capable of and I think the only way you

find that is by going through some

adversity or yeah I should never know or

should I be no no this is where I love I

love the gym and I love people that are

into the gym because when you go to the

gym you don't go there to have like a

luxury time you go there you put your

body in distress yeah provided how you

train and then you you're almost trying

to grow in that moment and I urge people

not just to do that in the gym to do

that through life as ah yes why I got to

probably speak in sessions when most of

the time I choke oh you go you're going

to like help you absolutely opt that

does I mention that the other thing

that's been really good especially for

yourself with anxiety as well I think

that's brilliant and the first few times

I've been there and they've asked me to

say something I'm just looked out every

wannabe luck don't say it's in number

one public fear though isn't it it is

and I thought in my head if I can

conquer that I can conquer anything and

I wonder way there now and I think like

two weeks four actually won the best

beat of the day coach me if you ask me

three months already left yeah you know

chances that's amazing though man yeah

so hence white but you're doing the same

things like you've had to come out of

this sort of dark hole and you've done

it and you've said some amazing things

they're like it's okay not to feel great

grief has no timeline and I think coming

from a male and most of you know if you

could follow Alex

paid so like Instagram in great physical

shape you're training people you're

going to come across as a sort of alpha

male or suppose yeah yeah cause there's

a vulnerability in what you're saying

and I think as a guy I think we need to

obviously it's best that more yeah

because we have this thing like bravado

like our culture our weaknesses and I

think especially meant to have one of

the things I'm working on this year as

are is really trying to raise awareness

for mental health yeah because my mom

suffered with it support people with

mental health and I think people are

yourself it make other people who may be

in a similar situation to yourself think

if alex is it 100 yeah yeah now you

won't believe the amount of people that

have told me to have gotta do you won't

beliefs add isn't it like I honestly

think most of the human race has it to

some probably got it some degree yeah

where some people just say you how about

a few years I've had people just come

out yeah about it for about ten years

right but I'm the on the surface

everyone's got masks everyone's got a

mess yeah some of the strongest people

are no wood on the surface successful

and they've come you have been

absolutely struggling for 10 years it's

crazy my anxieties but today I'm strong

yeah yeah and this is this is what I try

and be as transparent as I can on my

social media with everything I do

so ridership there something's gone

about try and say not to sound like

depressing because I don't want to come

across as a depressing life yeah and

it's almost like guys it's okay not to

be okay yeah or to have a shit day where

you just feel like you're in the funk

but I get those days but if course he's

gone wrong like I probably had the best

day before and I wake up the next day

feel absolute shit for note-for-note no

that's that's unfortunate the horrible

thing about yeah anxiety and stuff it's

it can just creep up on you for

absolutely no reason

hence why it did two years off well yeah

this was exactly and I'm overwhelmed

feeling as well oh there's there's been

overwhelmed moderately than has been

overwhelmed

completely with everything that you

can't control anything you you can't

even function under the day-to-day

routine if you ask me a question I reply

a very about ten-second

later Wow it's a serious very serious

thing very serious thing and you're

working on it now though yeah I think of

my massive yes inroads to it to be

honest and I honestly put that down to

the bereavement counselor okay so you'd

recommend anyone going through that to

at least talk whether it's with the

counselor you know some people have a

stigma attached to that but I think talk

is probably one of the most important

100% I mean I wouldn't see a really good

woman called Elaine at Walsall

bereavement center which is free yeah

yeah free of charge so I mean that the

system she's got there she's very she's

very very good I mean it just made me

understand my emotions more Jamie and

cosy I think the trouble with anxiety

feel completely alone with it down yeah

and you think the only one in the world

yeah yeah absolutely ten times worse

yeah see people need to understand that

you're not the only one going through it

and that in itself makes huge

improvement because you feel sort of

like the most worthless one in the room

is not make sense so yeah it's nice and

other people are soft it's nice to know

in a way people are suffering as well as

horrible as that I know what I mean by

that though I know it's nice to know

that people have the same infusion

problems yeah and I think if we lick

about twenty said earlier that's

probably the problem with society today

especially when you're hearing about

kids with like depression or kind of

symptoms they go I don't like social

media and seeing this perfect life that

everyone's portraying yeah that's not

that's not it it's like somebody might

post every brand new car or they might

post a holiday but there might be in

debt there might have had a bereavement

the day before so anything would have

happened absolutely and if what happens

is we see that as a snapshot now you got

to remember 99.9% of people on in the

world are already gonna post highlights

them on this follow us has great

reception we've see the good side

absolutely and and that's kind of like

the gift and the curse I think with

social media which is and again another

reason I do this is

say look yeah you got fantastic stuff on

your histogram you can learn a hell of a

lot about fitness and personal training

and stuff but there's a real person here

and you could probably learn more

valuable life lesson yeah yeah by this

interview that since 100% I think I

think the kids of our generation now

that didn't set up to fail that garbs

I'm sure they've got no chance because

they're coming to a world where they've

been handed this this phone here this

tablet here yeah and I think I was

listening so glad you know simon Sinek

yeah yeah yeah I was listening to some

of his stuff I mean he's basically

saying there's no way like kids now can

handle the dopamine fix of what they're

looking at the big good hormone fix

because they're they're obsessed of it

that as soon as air phone pings after

happy it's crazy

pick it up when they don't want you to

be happy about his own when you think

about it the grand scheme of things it's

just but I was just I was driving

through some place near Warsaw a few

weeks ago and I was just looking and I

was like the kids coming out of school

and every single one on the street was

on the phone I'm not talking about

one in ten every single one of them was

on the phone and a fuck I just refer

back to when I just call I was running

around

I mean running around and doing just

crazy stuff like I look at them now and

I think that you just been cell phone

it's not their fault I don't think it's

their fault it's not their fault

I think leeches are allowing some phones

into lessons are they now it's like you

said potentially setting them up to fail

isn't it I think we're kind of like a

good generation where we lived before

the phony era but also now we get to

benefit I suppose from like a work

perspective yeah so I fell into the trap

initially of like say like Instagram you

know you looking who's engaging my post

and stuff yeah I do now and I probably

said for the last four months is

whenever I write a post unlike what the

Facebook I use quite a lot I just turned

my phone off them and I only ever got

back to reply what I don't do is scroll

through Facebook and like other people's

stuff will follow other people's stuff

too much yeah is it all supportive but

because I don't want to put my mind in

that in that moment or no rage yeah

agente really thinking yeah

I'm doing enough or I'm not enough

because someone's always doing this so

just on my own something you have to be

a bit selfish that look this is what I

want to say if you resonate with it

fantastic if you don't mind past it but

I just want to get off my chest so are

you social media especially prayer

that's a way I just talked it to myself

and it's kind of like my journey yeah

yeah I can be like oh yeah you should

say that then how much I've got grown

since yeah if that makes sense

and that's helping massively because I

reckon if I was constantly on Facebook

and I've done it where I'm just watching

everyone and everyone's buying new cars

and doing crazy things and I'm like you

almost been inferior a little bit yeah

but as you said those points would

follow up at the same time how do you

know that person is in hasn't taken a

huge loan to pay that you just put on

the Instagram of the face but of course

yeah they haven't been given that

haven't won the car you didn't it might

be one those free options

you're never know any plug you

automatically think are their doing well

they're doing it right that's the phrase

new reality probably haven't got much

self worth custom I've been given the

car so Duty absolutely and I think the

most important thing is probably like

happiness that how happy are they really

oh yes well of course this is this is

the issued so it's all false

representations what they do is take it

on face value isn't it yeah this is it

as you say it's the the pros and cons of

social media media but I think now what

what annoys me is that I have to use

social media for business for business

at the same time I hate it yeah

Bono's gotta be done 100% that's that's

where oh yes stuck between ever to let

go of social media and just try and find

a way that you can live with it yeah

because it's only gonna get worse yeah

of course I mean we spoke about voice

hence the podcast yeah everything's

going to probably voice-activated

apparently there's a massive statistic I

don't know if the top of my head that

most people when they search into like

Google or Syria or something and I'm

probably talking about younger

demographic yeah they do

via voice so that's how much is changing

I mean that we're probably still used to

typing stuff and it's it's incredible

really I mean it's incredible how much

we've developed break I just wish you

know their whole mentor half side and

that sort of it was developing at this

yeah we said yeah it's um it's very very

scary for them yeah I don't know if your

clients on any one set stuff or yeah I'm

pretty much to go to guy oh yeah

fantastic yeah pretty much do you be a

good great advocate but very very very

much so and i've i've had people like

i've pulled people a depression i pulled

them have things by just doing what I do

really don't rely telling going from my

experiences etc regardless from younger

than them or not doesn't matter have

another different experience absolutely

but you have massively change people

it's mentally physically got more the

best periods

yeah what you do what you do but I mean

I'm not gonna name names I don't know so

enough like I mean there was one guy

trained is literally where I was in

terms of rock bottom he didn't lead the

house that he didn't leave the house and

he hadn't trained in how long and I

pretty much pulled him out of it he was

in this last year I think he was in it

they're not then I didn't know he

dropped before he was it fell a bit low

and poor mentally before I did so I I

fell into I fell into it I got back out

of it and pulled him okay sort of out as

well which is commendable because it's

probably the hardest thing just putting

yourself out yeah and I just remembering

like I was trying to I was trying to get

into work but couldn't write I was tell

himself yesterday I'm going back in and

fire comes to it and I can get back in

and I remember I'm just saying you just

take your time etc so eventually got

back in and now he's here and of a three

or four stone down fantastic at work had

a baby oh wow I love that me had a baby

yeah yeah loves these training so good

stuff good on you mate

so yeah he's on it now yeah I think

because obviously I did my qualification

I think about eight years ago my last

few clients I stopped at the back end of

last year they used to say the training

and everything yeah it's fine whatever

but they say we enjoy like the mindset

porks and stuff that I used to give him

love that side of it because you don't

know what people what stresses have got

on the life and you don't know what in

that hour our slot or whatever you have

yeah you don't know how much you'll

benefit directly because people I'll

tell you after G that you don't even

know what you do yeah you don't see no

yeah you don't see it yeah do you know I

mean and that's a special thing I think

that's a special thing about the job I

agree if you can change someone's life

around like that it's pretty bit there's

no better feeling better than earning

millions for some companies lately

absolutely you're gonna see not much of

oh yeah so would you say that's your

kind of motivation now like moving

forward or I mean what what keeps you

going now on a daily basis

that in itself only percent that I mean

I think you have to get to know people a

little bit more don't you their personal

goals what the one thing you can start

to build that rapport yeah and once you

start to build that rapport it means

even more to you doesn't it because you

lied the pass and you become be the best

digital yeah my similar so you're

rocking up into work and it's not even

work Jeremy you doing it for them and

let's just see the seem so grateful yeah

you made me want to go back there yeah

that's a big finger isn't it I mean if

you can if you can do that that's pretty

special I think of course but if you can

start to retune people's minds and

relationships with food exercise with

themselves it then impacts on the

personal life and other stuff like that

yeah you create a butterfly effect yeah

positive because I think if you if you

can start to improve that that there's

gonna be good things that'll topple over

absolutely from that closing the hardest

workers in the room in the gym and

normally the heart the most successful

people financially your family wise

relationship probably if you take that

level of discipline and work ethic into

the world it's all a discipline isn't it

under the most disciplined people are

most successful people and if you can

prove that in the gym probably one the

hardest I agree scenarios are going to

be ok I always look at someone and if

they're physically in good shape

you know you've got some good level of

disappeared another half hours yard work

I know you've had to probably go to

social events and not eat what everyone

else is eating or drink what everyone

else a drink lot you've had to make

sacrifices so I fully appreciate that

yeah a lot of people don't understand

that they'll call those sort of people a

gym free cause yes absolutely yeah

when you think about it now the matter I

always you've probably have to do to

change a physiques and our bodies and

it's incredible incredible amount yeah

but a lot of people don't understand

that and there are a hell of a lot of

lazy people yeah yeah hell of a lot of

lazy people which I can't understand I

don't understand how they've got to that

yeah how about that stage whoever its

tuning from a young age or Parenthood or

fell in with the wrong crowd

I don't know yeah do you know I mean so

I don't know it's one of the pillars

that are you so I was in corporate first

I went straight into business one of the

things that I wanted to do was to work

with people on a one-to-one basis so yes

I love the person training I do it more

and I sort of mindset basis as well lie

especially property and stuff but can

help them yeah develop and one of the

first things I'll say before I start

working with them is you gotta get a gym

plan

don't be talking to liver yeah one thing

for you to do before you do anything

else is work on yourself first so all of

them will have to do some level of

physical activity now whatever that is

it doesn't need to be lifting weights it

could be yoga ISM going for runs

whatever they want to do but you have to

do some level of activity yeah yeah I

mean that almost be any discomfort in

order to grow yeah and always do that

face because then I think like you said

if they're if they can work really hard

to give 100% on that they're nothing

okay that's a great trait with that

could work with that person's got

working yeah yeah whereas if they've

turn around but no I just want to learn

about this or making money but I

wouldn't do this I'm not okay I'm

probably not the right code for you yeah

because my coach is gonna be holistic

it's gonna be about everything yeah yeah

and I think you'll be great at that

I think obviously as your business

starts to expand in your personal

training you could potentially I don't

have your own franchise I don't know

what your goals are but because you have

both aspects of it I think you're very

really well yeah yeah it is a good thing

to tap into niche it's all interlinked

isn't it and it's only gonna get it's

only gonna get more

prevalent in society a hundred percent

so what's your fear now death right okay

I spoke to my Cantrell about this

because she was like when when you lose

people close to you rather than extended

family or someone who's not particularly

close to you you realize mortality cuz

until then you're immortal our ninja

know I mean you don't fit nothing you

really think cuz I it doesn't really

cross your mind you're invincible

through more so that death scares me

okay now yeah that scares me and I think

you just you've hit the nail on the head

there because if somebody hasn't gone

through death listening to this podcast

they're gonna think nice not really

resonating somebody who's been through

it it almost comes in your head on a

daily basis so I think everyone

everyone's going to lose some worth some

stage that's just the way the world

works you know we haven't worked out how

to survive forever and I lost about

seven people within 18 months no friends

or family

but prior to that I'm not really lost no

one so for me is like here soul and soul

has lost their granddad or the grandma

and I feel sad but that was it it was

very short-lived

whereas now yeah that whole death thing

I suppose it does scare me because I

think I don't know if this is my last

day hence why I try and like bust my ass

and work as much as I can to make sure

that if I was to leave today I've left

the world in a better place yeah if that

makes sense so is motivation it is right

it is you become more instantly you feel

like most things scarier and what was it

kind of saying now she was like

obviously once I lost my dad I felt like

I needed to do everything fast needed to

buy have sat down rah-rah-rah all of

these things because she doesn't know

how much time you've got and that's

that's unfortunate thing of this whole

realizing mortality send you in a rush

yeah that's where the anxiety sets in

yeah whatever nothingness by then that

resonates with me so much because I feel

I've got so much to do so many people I

want to help and I'm like I could be

gone tomorrow

and it scares me yeah so you're trying

to rush into it everything yeah and I

know that's probably not the right place

I I follow of course it's not yeah but

we know we know this for your tower

we're

president absolutely well yeah that

that's what she was saying if she felt

like oh my dad died at this age am I

gonna die at this age now yeah I've

gotta do this I gotta do that harsh in

order to this yeah and in reality you've

got all the time in the world really

yeah but in that moment in that

channeling yeah we exact it in your head

yeah but you can't get out of its it's a

parent and that's the UM

that's mortality isn't it do you follow

Gary Vaynerchuk a little bit yeah well

he started to grind on me after was it

yes he's a mob like Jota but one of the

things he says he's really good is he

says you should be impatient in there in

the micro I either short-term or patient

for the macro for the long-term which

when I think about it and why he says it

makes sense so it's like yes you should

work absolutely like 100 percent every

single day as if it's your last day but

still know your goals that you want to

achieve and stuff are gonna take longer

a bit like I suppose bodybuilding for

example yeah you're now on a cot for

example to get t-they it's not gonna

happen no matter how hard you train

today you're not going to get to that

body today yeah even if you've had the

best I ever today something happen but

what you can do is absolutely crush it

right now and then tomorrow repeat next

day repeat and then all of the sudden

you will you will get there as well yeah

so like that's one thing he says that

really resonates with me yeah but like

you said when you get that level of

anxiety and it it overwhelms you it's

difficult to think you're like you're

not thinking there's no clarity

basically your thoughts yeah yeah and

what what people need to realize like

you're in control of these thoughts you

can still control them you've just

you've gone down a path where you think

you can't control them do you know I

mean except every four is well within

the control we just don't know it like

when you're in that bad patch yeah

that's right and that's what I learnt as

well and that was with the bereavement

counselor yeah yeah that's powerful but

like you are in control of your thoughts

it's just a belief that you're not that

means you're leaving that you're not

when you are should we were before we

were before

before we had events and one not so many

I think about it a lot we were kids the

thoughts we have you're invincible you

know we were going to

Kaizen our heroes why can't we have that

an absolutely because somewhere along

life somebody's told you you can't do

something or you've fallen down and

rather as a kid where you keep getting

back up you've actually said you know

I'll stay down we're just going the

opposite way yeah yeah that's a problem

in it and it does take certain things

like these events traumatic events and

other events in your life that obviously

make up your thoughts do you know it

means in your beliefs your beliefs are

the one you start believing certain

things about the world and yourself that

comes out in your actions and your

beliefs are just a combination of the

thoughts yeah cause this is why you've

got a control everyone everyone's got

different millions of ways it's not just

us yeah of course

trust me when you get to a deep

conversation with someone you really

know what the thinking about you they

actually thinking that you know I mean

so you know we're not alone with that

that's what we've got and you are you

are in control you've just got to try

your best to control them it's a good

affirmation tough so I do affirmations

in the morning as well

so I say stuff like I'm no longer

anxious I'm not shy yeah yeah I think

you have to consciously make the effort

which is a viewfinder so you have to

consciously make yeah yeah because if

subconsciously I'm I'm not in I'm

potential everyone has to do this yeah I

can't see how you can you cannot do it I

think everyone does do it but we assume

the people at the top like you know

you're Dwayne Johnson you're Kevin Hart

celebrities they don't do it but they

did Wayne Johnson suffers yeah dad yeah

really badly rock is that everyone's

Idol

it's amazing mean yeah and you are you

are approaches of your your thoughts you

are you are your thoughts on powerful me

yeah but like people need to understand

you can't control them yeah if you want

to if you just let them spoil problems

isn't it absolutely yeah but what

they've got understand if you do have a

day like that that's fine push it into

the car but that's all and as well are

you better start to continue to beat

yourself up for another few weeks

that lifestyle enough disease we've real

saturations and without you behind some

horses or absolute making up these these

problems yeah which is what humans tend

to do we can we can sabotage ourself as

much as you want but we don't tend to do

to us so why should we do it to

ourselves but we Dukes it's easy

it's true though innit nice I'm not

gonna say to you what's going on in my

head about I won self-sabotage myself

then say the same stuff to you it's

deeper nasties or what to do yeah yeah

isn't that weird

do you know what I mean what so why why

why why do we think it's right to do it

to us ourselves he's probably the most

important at the end of the day I'm yes

sir if you think about it logically we

are actually the most important people

to ourselves yeah so yeah but it's it's

easy and it's easy to say to yourself

it's no one's gonna question okay we're

gonna go in three two one

what did you eat for breakfast squats or

deadlifts squats the ability to fly or

be invisible fly if your favourite cheap

meal Peter when your fame money your

proudest moment getting into the cam

here everything your favourite food for

years number one health to stay

disciplined biggest Fitness to me there

are certain foods that convert back

yeah definitely achieve your number one

goal this year travel more your favorite

TV show ever sons of anarchy

would you rather know how you will die

or when you were dying when your

favorite hobbies Jim if you could sit

with one person in the world for an hour

you would it be oh my dinero your worst

fear is a child dinner for your favorite

place in the world okay if you could

abolish one thing in the world what

would it be

murdering your favorite song ever death

match

order number read boys or predict the

future three times your favorite super

Europe Batman why his minds oh yeah

who's badasses yeah he's IV I'm finally

your biggest sprint organization okay

fantastic so the next question we're

almost at the end actually it's about

reflection so not really exactly what

you don't know because obviously now

you've worked on your physical health

your mental health you're in a much

better place so nobody exactly what you

know now if you could go back to a time

where you were struggling or maybe a

younger version of yourself and you

could whisper something in that person's

ear just to kind of make their life

easier I suppose growing up what would

you say it will pass

it will pass 100% it will pass me I'll

get bad you've got you've got to go

through this to grow and it will pass

very difficult to see the time yeah

impossible to sing yeah yeah

what it will party will pass a lot that

this isn't last forever yeah nothing

lasts forever

yeah so I'll have to send you a podcast

after this made their little East

Bhagwat similar kind of thing and the

guy on it he was talking about chaos and

how he just flipped the script in his

mind to say he enjoys the chaos because

of high resilience and how much strength

he's gonna build from it and how much

knowledge whereas a lot of us were kind

of trying to avoid pain and stuff where

he's that bring me down because I know

in six months time I'm gonna be much

yeah yeah

you almost let it enter right buddy

we're actually at the last question now

so the last question I always ask my

guess is if in a 150 years time science

fails to save us all and all that exists

is a book on the table and that book is

about you and it's about your life and

all of the great and wonderful things

that you aspire to do you want to do you

know you've done it but in order to make

somebody pick that up what would one

that I will say and two what would the

summary at the bat tell us about you tie

it would be something along the lines of

never give up the summary of my like

what yes I think about this wait there's

there's somebody gone to a book store

and they're looking at all these books

and they've turned it around now you

need to make them want to pick it up to

be like oh that's quite interesting

actually that sounds interesting so a

little bit about yourself maybe the

things you want to achieve how do you

want to be remembered but I just wanted

to say that you'd want to meet as many

people as you can make a positive

impression with everyone you come into

contact with never give up on anything

yeah until it's completely done and just

keep trying to live in the moment

keep trying to live in the moment that's

the only one you can control and just

keep do what you want to do not what

people what you have to do do what you

want to do because there ain't no time

for nothing else really absolutely

really I think I'd pick it up yeah yeah

yeah definitely me I appreciate so thank

you for that that brings us to the end

of the show now but before we leave and

I close it off I just want you to give

the listeners a chance to obviously

connect with yourself so I will put all

of this in the show notes anyway so you

can literally click on it by any app

that you listen to this one but where's

the best place to contact you mobile or

email okay I don't know if you want to

put your mobile direct down here yeah my

Instagram okay choose your Instagram

yeah yes let's go for it yeah it's a li

ro eight nine eight

okay fantastic

up or down the shoulders or you want

like snapchat Facebook anything like

that or a more I don't really use okay I

use Facebook obviously just type in Alex

Roberts okay then there should be a

naked man obviously yeah that's the

profile of course you person did but

yeah those two platforms okay brilliant

thank you I just want to say thanks

again to Alex for children to the Shonan

and for everyone else thanks for

listening and remember this podcast is

absolutely free so all we ask in return

is for you to share this with a friend

and drop us a five star review over on

iTunes have an awesome day

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.