Dad Starting Over

Dear DSO: "Should I fill out mental health forms for my ex?"

In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and providing valuable information, Jimmy could potentially help his ex-wife receive the necessary treatment and become a healthier individual for...

DSO and Dr. Pysch Mom Talk About Dead Bedrooms (from a livestream event)

In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack of sex. With insights into attachment styles and the need for compromise, this episode offers valuable advice for couples navigating int...

Dear DSO: "I Feel Abandoned."

Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from communities like the DSO Fraternity. DSO emphasizes the importance of accepting the re...

Dear DSO: "I Feel Like I'm Stuck in a Dead Bedroom!"

DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner. Tune in for valuable advice on navigating a challenging relationship.

Dear DSO: "Why Won't He Propose?!"

Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to her. He advises Vanessa to either accept the situation, find a compromise, or consider ...

Should You Continue Doing Family Things with Your Ex? (from a DSO Live Event)

Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process. Listeners share their opinions, with one mentioning that if it's painful for either party, the kids will sense it. The host concludes th...

Dear DSO: "My Wife is Indifferent About Us."

In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that both partners have work to do and need to find a more secure center. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating this dynamic.

Can You Go From Avoidant to Secure? (from a DSO Live event)

In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individuals may feel when their avoidant partners struggle to make progress. He shares personal experiences and highlights the difficulties of bein...

Interview With Coach J

Jason, or "Coach J" as he is known by our group, is one of the founding members of the DSO Fraternity and acts as the director for our DSO coaches. J has recently retired from the U.S. Army and brings with him a wealth of life experience. In this very candid conversation, DSO and Coach J talk about what got him into the world of Dad Starting Over, his struggles, and his current extremely stressful life situation with divorce and his ex-wife's alcohol addiction issues. Thank you, ...

About The "Forgotten Father" Tweet I Posted

In this episode, DSO explores the sensitive topic of men feeling forgotten after having children. He shares the negative response he received from women when pointing out this issue and questions whether men are truly not helping or if their efforts are being overlooked. DSO emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding between partners to bridge the gap and maintain a strong romantic connection amidst the challenges of parenthood. A thought-provoking discussion ...

Dear DSO: "Am I Being Weird... Or Should I Be Concerned?"

In this episode, DSO addresses a listener's concerns about their wife's suspicious behavior. From late-night phone use to financial infidelity, the signs are troubling. DSO advises the listener to prioritize their safety and consult with an attorney before making any decisions. The episode explores the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns and taking action to protect oneself. With a focus on self-reflection and seeking professional help, DSO offers guidance on navigating a d...

Dear DSO: Do I Tell New Gals About My Crazy Ex?

In this episode, DSO addresses a common concern: how to explain a difficult divorce without resorting to labeling an ex as "crazy." He advises being open and honest about the challenges faced, without hiding the truth or trying to win favor. By sharing the reality of the situation, potential partners can make an informed decision. DSO emphasizes the importance of transparency and authenticity, even if it means potentially scaring away some people. Tune in for valuable insights on na...

Retroactive Jealousy (from a DSO Live Stream event)

In this episode, DSO delves into the topic of retroactive jealousy, addressing the insecurities and discomfort that can arise when a partner has had previous sexual encounters. He explores the dynamics of past promiscuity and the feelings of inadequacy that can arise when comparing oneself to a partner's previous experiences. DSO offers empathy and validation to those struggling with these emotions, emphasizing that their feelings are valid and not indicative of weakness. A thought-...

Dear DSO: "I'm in Excellent Shape... But it's Still Not Enough For Her Libido!"

DSO comes face to face with a conundrum that plagues many married individuals – the struggle for consistent, fulfilling intimacy. The host addresses a listener's question concerning the frequency and nature of intimacy within marriage, offering his insights on the complexities of physical and emotional connections. With raw candor and a touch of humor, DSO delves into the nuanced challenges of igniting passion in a relationship marred by a disparity in sexual desires. The listener,...

Dear DSO: "I Still Need MORE From My Wife!"

DSO tackles a sensitive and commonly encountered issue in many marriages: the dynamics of sexual desire and satisfaction. Delve into Daniel's story, a listener who, despite having worked on improving his relationship and experiencing an uptick in bedroom activity, is grappling with the feeling that his wife's participation may not stem from genuine desire. DSO, with his blend of straightforward advice and empathetic insight, dissects the complexity behind the listener's concerns, p...

Interview With Carla Crivaro - "The Forgotten Man"

I had the pleasure of sitting down for a nice chat with Carla Crivaro from the UK. From her website at carlacrivaro.com: "I started out as a sexually repressed, stay at home mother and wife with chronic anxiety, low self-worth and deep-rooted insecurities in all relationships from working to familial to romantic.   I went on to experience a 'sexual awakening' which took me on a path of self-discovery. I consensually dabbled in play parties and dating while still married to my the...

Dear DSO: "Is It Menopause.... Or Something Else?"

DSO addresses a message from a listener who is experiencing a disparity in libido with his postmenopausal wife. The listener explains that his wife's libido has significantly decreased since entering menopause, while his own libido remains high. DSO discusses the complexities of menopause and its impact on women's libido and explores the listener's concerns about his wife's past sexual experiences and her lack of desire for sex. Additionally, DSO offers empathy and understanding to ...

Dear DSO: I'm A Winner And My Wife Is A Loser!

In this episode, DSO responds to a letter from Nate, who is feeling drained and frustrated in his marriage. After a long military career, Nate has come to realize that his wife is lazy, unambitious, and constantly negative. He has recently started focusing on self-love and personal growth, but his wife's behavior is wearing him down mentally. DSO offers two options for Nate: either his wife needs to join him in his positive mindset and make an effort to improve the relationship, or ...

Married People Have MORE Sex Than Single People?!

DSO discusses the statistic that married people have more sex than single people, and whether this means that single individuals should get married to improve their sex lives. He examines the reality of sex in marriages by looking at survey data, which shows that a significant percentage of married couples are in dead bedroom relationships. DSO also explores the societal benefits of marriage and how it can serve as a solution for men who are not having any sexual encounters or causi...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Wants To Go To A Bachelorette Party"

In this episode, DSO responds to a question from a listener named John Rambo, who is feeling anxious about his wife attending a bachelorette party in Vegas. John has been with his wife for almost 13 years and they have three children together. He describes his wife as beautiful and trustworthy, but he still has concerns about the party and worries about potential infidelity. DSO explores two possible explanations for John's anxiety: insecurity and a gut feeling that something is not...

Interview With Karen and Catherine From My Divorce Solution

Karen and Catherine offer a service that they call "My Divorce Solution". It's an excellent method for gathering all pertinent information and uncovering all the facts you may need when going through a divorce. From their website at mydivorcesolution.com: "We specialize in supporting divorcing couples in effectively managing the division of their marital estate. We strive to demystify the complexities involved, ensuring our clients have a crystal-clear understanding of their financ...

Dear DSO: "Ever Since The Kids, I Feel Like I've Been Put On The Backburner"

DSO addresses a common issue faced by many men in long-term relationships: feeling neglected and pushed to the back burner after having children. He explains that this shift in attention and priorities is a natural result of motherhood and the demands of raising children. However, he acknowledges the valid need for intimacy and connection in a relationship and offers advice on how to address this issue. DSO emphasizes the importance of understanding the biological and societal fact...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Is Lazy... Or Depressed?"

DSO responds to a question from a man named Nick who is frustrated with his wife's lack of contribution to household chores and responsibilities. Nick works long hours and comes home to clean, cook, and take care of their four children while his wife spends her time on the couch or surfing the web. DSO explains that this situation is not uncommon and suggests that Nick has inadvertently trained his wife to behave this way by not setting boundaries or demanding equal participation. H...

Dear DSO: "What About Scheduling Sex With My Avoidant Wife?"

Lloyd is obviously not too happy with his love life to his wife of twenty years. He labels her as "avoidant", and their scheduled once-per-week intimacy sessions aren't panning out. What can he do?

Dear DSO: "My Wife Copes By Having Affairs"

A follower, JD, reaches out and shares a story that is, unfortunately, pretty common. His wife seems to have flipped out after enduring a pretty normal but negative life situation. Her father passed away. What does she do? She copes by getting attention and having sexual relations with people outside of the marriage. Not good! What JD does is a common thing: He frames the situation as, "Everything was fine up until the big life moment happened". With some honest reflection, he'll pr...

Dear DSO: "I've Been In A Dead Bedroom For Years... And Now I've Fallen For This Younger Gal"

A follower shares the story of being stuck in a long-term dead bedroom relationship. He has worked on himself and tried like hell to repair the relationship, but the wife doesn't seem to care. And now, with this high status as a business owner/boss and with his newfound physical fitness, he has caught the eye of a younger woman. He's obviously already head over heels for the woman, but doesn't want to destroy his marriage. Or does he? Like most men in this situation, he is very conf...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Cheated Eight Years Ago"

When The Man Discovers His Wife's Secret Sexy Past

Dear DSO: "I've just been told my wife doesn't love me anymore..."

A follower reaches out and tells the story of his wife who wants nothing more to do with him. It's time that he listens and stops hanging on... You can ask DSO a question by filling out the form here: https://dadstartingover.com/dear-dso

Dear DSO: Have You Ever Heard About An Affair SAVING A Marriage?

A follower asks if I have ever heard about an affair saving a marriage. "John" says that he has been in a dead bedroom relationship for a while, tried all kinds to rekindle his marriage, but it wasn't until he actually stepped outside of his marriage that things seem to improve. Interesting! Let's talk about it. You can submit your own question to Ralph/DSO here: https://dadstartingover.com/dear-dso

Interview With Daniel Priestley: Entrepreneurship And Life

Something a little different for the Dad Starting Over world! I had the pleasure of chatting with one of my favorite business people, Daniel Priestley. Daniel is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and international speaker. Starting with nothing, he built successful multi-million dollar businesses in Australia, UK and Singapore. Daniel and I chat about entrepreneurship and all the opportunities that are available to men out there who are looking to start up their own business. L...

DSO Reacts: That Dead Bedroom Couple Video Everyone Keeps Sending Me

It seems that everyone and their cousin has sent me the link to this video! This is a clip from a UK television show where a therapist sits down with a VERY typical dead bedroom couple. He wants more. She is too overwhelmed and busy with the new baby. As always, they both have a point. The man is completely clueless about how his old game plan for getting physical intimacy is done (just show up), and the wife doesn't realize that actual work is needed to stay connected as a couple. ...

"My Wife Was A Totally Different Person After We Got Married!"

As they often say, stereotypes don't just fall from the sky. The whole notion of "my wife changed as soon as we got married" is not the NORM, but it's certainly not unheard of. For most of the men that I talk to, their stories of "my wife completely changed" usually involves marriage, cohabitation, years together, kids, stress, jobs... you know, all the normal life stuff that can really CHANGE a person. BUT, for some guys and gals, their partner absolutely changed on the day of the...

Does "Body Count" Really Matter?

With the loosening of social mores and a broader acceptance of casual physical intimacy, especially in younger adults, it's not a surprise that these relatively new worlds and opinions may collide with more "traditional" monogamous people. When those with "high body counts" try to enter into the world of strict monogamy, they are sometimes outright rejected because of their past behavior... and this hurts feelings! Is a high body count indicative of mental issues? Compulsive/impulsi...

Live From Facebook/Youtube/Twitter With Dr. Psych Mom!

Dr. Psych Mom and I do an impromptu live chat for our social media followers on October 5, 2023. We had a great discussion and lots of great questions from the viewers. Give it a listen!

My Interview With Heather Ray, The Licensed Sexologist

Heather Ray is a licensed Sexologist based in Texas, but she is able to help clients from all fifty states. Click here to learn more about Heather Ray and her services. In this interview, we talk about everything from her own dead bedroom marriage to an older man, her physical transformation, her second divorce, and her experience working with clients that are trying to repair the sexual intimacy within their marriages. Thank you for your time, Heather!

DSO Fraternity Live Meeting (recorded 10/4/23)

This is a recording of a live DSO Fraternity meeting that was held on October 4, 2023. We opened this meeting to the public and had some great conversations! Click here to learn more about the DSO Fraternity.

DSO & Austin Talk About Sex After Kids - From Facebook/Youtube Live

My Interview With Youtuber Schahrzad Morgan

From Scharzad's website: "After 25 years of marriage, Schahrzad Morgan, mother of three, files for divorce and embarks on a powerful journey of desire, love and sexual liberation. Since then, her views on sex have inspired people around the world.  Ms. Morgan has a B.S. in Computer Science from the University of Nebraska - Omaha, and an MBA from Arizona State University-West. She was born in Düsseldorf, Germany, and moved to Omaha, Nebraska as a child. She practices Transcendental...

DSO & Dr. Psych Mom - Do Women Need An Emotional Connection to Experience Sexual Desire?

"Women need an emotional connection" -- How many times have we heard this? Is it true? Do women absolutely NEED that deeper emotional connection in order to experience true sexual desire? Let's ask our friend Dr. Psych Mom.

Time Moves On

In this episode, I pontificate about how time carries on with or without us, how change is inevitable, and my recent trip to Germany.

DSO & Dr. Psych Mom - Do Women Experience Lower Libido After Marriage?

DSO and DPM tackle a popular topic: What happens to the average woman's libido after marriage? IMPORTANT LINKS: https://www.liinks.co/dadstartingover FOLLOW ME ON 💥 Facebook https://facebook.com/dadstartingover 💥 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@dad.starting.over

DSO & Dr. Psych Mom Go Live on Facebook and Youtube

Here is the recording from the live chat DSO and Dr. Psych Mom did for Facebook and Youtube on 6/16/23. Enjoy! Dad Starting Over The DSO Fraternity Dr. Psych Mom

DSO & Dr. Psych Mom Go Live on TikTok

Here is a recording of the TikTok Live that I (DSO) and Dr. Psych Mom did on May 19. We chat about a variety of different topics that we hear about from our clients. Enjoy! Dad Starting Over Dr. Psych Mom

Coach Scott G. Interviews DSO Fraternity Member Andrew And His Wife Sabrina

Coach Scott G. sits down with Andrew (DSO Fraternity member) and his wife Sabrina to talk about how they turned their marriage around. Click here to join the DSO Fraternity! 

My Mom Drives Me Nuts

Interview With Lauren - "The Dadvocate"

If you follow Dad Starting Over or other male-related relationship talk accounts on social media, you've undoubtedly seen Lauren "The Dadvocate". Lauren has over 1 million followers on TikTok and tens of millions of views across all of social media. She puts out a wonderful pro-men message that connects with lots of guys. I'm so glad to have finally met Lauren, and I look forward to future collaborations. The Dadvocate Website Dadvocate on Tiktok Dad Starting Over The Dead Bedroom...

Coach Scott G. Interviews Coach Gustavo

What a great chat! Our own coach Scottie G and Coach Gus get together and talk about Gus' story and what brought him to the world of Dad Starting Over. This is the type of audio that is available to our DSO Fraternity members. We have over 400 hours of meeting audio recorded and archived for our members. Work with Coach Gus Work with Coach Scott G. Join the DSO Fraternity and get lots of great benefits, including discounts on coaching!

Mrs. DSO is Back! Let's talk about sex and marriage, women and accountability/entitlement, and whatever else comes to mind.

Mrs. DSO is back on the podcast and she and I sit to talk about all kinds of good stuff. Video of our conversation is available to our DSO Fraternity members. Click here to join today! 

The Devouring Mother

What do I often hear from men? "Ever since we had kids, my wife has become SUPER anxious. She seems way too involved in the kids' lives. She is constantly worrying about them and almost seems addicted to being a mom. Everything about her life revolves around the kids." Sound familiar? This one is for you. Dad Starting Over The DSO Fraternity