Bible Beaters – Canada Comedy
348 episodes - English - Latest episode: 5 months ago - ★★★★ - 32 ratingsCanada's Comedy Podcast Network
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Episodes
Switcharoo (1 Kings 3)
November 15, 2020 14:00 - 1 hour - 112 MBEP154 (1 Kings 3) 2020 is taking is toll on the gang and Kyle is going bald about it. We half heartedly discuss revolution. In the bible Solomon has consolidated his position as king by eliminating his rivals and settling old scores. Solomon has a dream in which god visits him and says “I’ll give... The post Switcharoo (1 Kings 3) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Lower Brain
November 08, 2020 14:00 - 59 minutes - 83.9 MBEP153 This week we discuss the erection results and after Kyle wipes away his crocodile tears we get back into the story of Israelite succession. Solomon is king and the first thing he does is kill his dad’s enemies. His half brother Adonijah, who had just tried to steal the kingship, asks his bro for... The post Lower Brain appeared first on Canada Comedy.
We’re All Fucked
November 02, 2020 02:00 - 1 hour - 112 MBEP152Happy last Halloween ever (maybe). In this podcast we talk about the lockdown, and the response to it. We discuss the nature of governance and when/how to to resist government overreach. We speculate on the immediate future and the prospect of civil unrest or living under totalitarian regimes. The bible is alluded to but not... The post We’re All Fucked appeared first on Canada Comedy.
More Prayer’s Per Dollar! (1 Kings 2 1-13)
October 25, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 102 MBEP151 – (1 Kings 2 1-13)In is episode of the podcast we get to the bottom of how big of a piece of shit king David really is. But first, we respectfully discuss UFC, and Kyle’s piece of shit studio. David learns of Adonijah’s plot to take the throne and thwarts it. He goes on... The post More Prayer’s Per Dollar! (1 Kings 2 1-13) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
First King of Darkness
October 18, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 103 MBEP150 The post First King of Darkness appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Still Counting
October 11, 2020 18:30 - 1 hour - 92.5 MBEp149 The post Still Counting appeared first on Canada Comedy.
To Those Who Have More Will Be Given, To Those Who Don’t What They Have Will Be Taken
October 04, 2020 13:00 - 5 MBEP148 The post To Those Who Have More Will Be Given, To Those Who Don’t What They Have Will Be Taken appeared first on Canada Comedy.
David and God Sitting in a Tree
September 27, 2020 19:05 - 1 hour - 69.1 MBEP147 The post David and God Sitting in a Tree appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Human Sacrifice
September 21, 2020 01:47 - 59 minutes - 56.6 MBEP146 The post Human Sacrifice appeared first on Canada Comedy.
God IsReal
September 13, 2020 17:03 - 1 hour - 81.2 MBEP145 The post God IsReal appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Quarantine Cast
September 07, 2020 20:47 - 1 hour - 58.3 MBEP144 The post Quarantine Cast appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Hang Myself From the Tree
August 30, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 61.3 MBEP143 The post Hang Myself From the Tree appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Such and Such, and So and So (2 Samuel 16-17)
August 23, 2020 17:49 - 52 minutes - 48.5 MBEP142 (2 Samuel 16-17) It’s better to get pissed off than pissed on. David continues his pity parade until he meets Mephibosheth the cripple he helped before. Janky legs hooks him up with a bunch of donkeys, bread, wine, and figs. David moves on to the next town where he meets a relative of dead... The post Such and Such, and So and So (2 Samuel 16-17) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Such and Such, and So and So
August 23, 2020 17:49 - 52 minutes - 48.5 MBEP142 The post Such and Such, and So and So appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Egg Warmer (2 Samuel 15)
August 16, 2020 16:51 - 1 hour - 64.6 MBEP141 Egg Warmer (2 Samuel 15) The fellas are recording first thing in the morning and its as exciting as morning radio. Absalom, the hottest dude in Israel, begins glad-handing townspeople and sowing sedition undermining king David. The sexy Jew is suceeds in enticing the people of Israel to his side and king David is... The post Egg Warmer (2 Samuel 15) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Misfortune Cookies
August 09, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 80 MBEP140 The post Misfortune Cookies appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Whain Man
August 04, 2020 18:19 - 1 hour - 92.9 MBEp34 Chad has his best week in the podcasts history, plus he got to go down the slides. Jack Hirschfield joins the boys from Toronto, Chad never had a chance. The post Whain Man appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Trigger Warning
August 02, 2020 17:52 - 45 minutes - 41.7 MBEP139 The post Trigger Warning appeared first on Canada Comedy.
I Killed Your Dog
July 26, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 87.1 MBEP138 The post I Killed Your Dog appeared first on Canada Comedy.
God’s Ant Farm (2 Samuel 11)
July 19, 2020 19:48 - 52 minutes - 47.9 MBEP137 (2 Samuel 11) Some young lady tries to witness to Kyle via tinder. She politely directed us to an apologetics website that makes a lot of really good points. 3500ish years ago a guy named David was maybe conquering all of his neighbors. After awhile he grew tired of this and came home for... The post God’s Ant Farm (2 Samuel 11) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
God’s Ant Farm
July 19, 2020 19:48 - 52 minutes - 47.9 MBEP137 The post God’s Ant Farm appeared first on Canada Comedy.
360 R***** Flip (2 Samuel 8-10)
July 12, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 58.8 MBEP136 (2 Samuel 8-10) Kyle has the worst hangover of his life. David completes his systematic genocide of the Moabites, Arameans, Zobahites, Edomites, Philistines, and other peoples in graphic detail. After returning home with the belongings of now extinct people groups David decides to do something magnanimous and do something nice for his desceased best... The post 360 R***** Flip (2 Samuel 8-10) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
360 R***** Flip
July 12, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 58.8 MBEP136 The post 360 R***** Flip appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Cancel God (2 Samuel 7)
July 05, 2020 18:27 - 1 hour - 58.5 MBEP135 (2 Samuel 7) The boys celebrate Canada Day with Caleb’s grandparents. Caleb talks about the good ol’ water chugging church days. In the bible David decides that god should live in a house and not a tent. god says he doesn’t want to live a house. David spends more than a little time telling... The post Cancel God (2 Samuel 7) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Cancel God
July 05, 2020 18:27 - 1 hour - 58.5 MBEP135 The post Cancel God appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Fat Lives Matter
June 28, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 69.7 MBEP134 Fat Lives Matter The prodigal host Simeon Campbell returns. Caleb has a new business venture. Kyle joins the boys in Solidarity. In Bible times, Ish Boseth, the last obstruction to David taking the entire kingdom of Israel, has been murdered. David declares war on the Jebusites, takes the city of Jerusalem and names it... The post Fat Lives Matter appeared first on Canada Comedy.
This Podcast is Cursed
June 21, 2020 17:28 - 1 hour - 55.3 MBEP133 The post This Podcast is Cursed appeared first on Canada Comedy.
This Podcast is Cursed (2 Samuel 3-4)
June 21, 2020 17:28 - 1 hour - 55.3 MBEP133 (2 Samuel 3-4) The world is slowly emerging from its cocoon and the dudes are back to performing comedy. After king Saul’s suicide his general Abner is having trepidations about waging further warfare against David who seems to have god’s blessing. The new king Ish Boseth accuses Abner son of Ner of banging his... The post This Podcast is Cursed (2 Samuel 3-4) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
12 on 12 Knife Fight (2 Samuel 2-3)
June 14, 2020 21:27 - 1 hour - 71.8 MBEp132 (2 Samuel 2-3) The fellas start discussing abortions but cant decide who should end the discussion. David continues his conquest of Israel against Abner son of Ner the de-facto general of Saul’s army. Abner runs away like Drew Brees and gets cornered. First he send propagandists like the communist to weaken thier moral position.... The post 12 on 12 Knife Fight (2 Samuel 2-3) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Dear God, Burn This Nation Down (1 Samuel – 2 Samuel)
June 07, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 89.4 MBEP131 (1 Samuel – 2 Samuel) The fella’s return from a camping trip to find the world on fire. Kyle opened his mind to acid and may never be the same again. In the bible king Saul’s life culminates in the deaths of all of his sons and the total destruction of Israel’s army. After... The post Dear God, Burn This Nation Down (1 Samuel – 2 Samuel) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
This is Davids Plunder
May 31, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 74.5 MBEP130 The post This is Davids Plunder appeared first on Canada Comedy.
This is Davids Plunder (1 Samuel 29 – 30)
May 31, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 74.5 MBEP130 (1 Samuel 29 – 30) Caleb barely survives a drunken hike. We discuss the ethics of lying and kneeling. Kyle describes what life would be like if he were dictator. Saul committed terrible evil when he went to consult the Witch of Endor. She brings back Samuel from the dead who warns Saul that... The post This is Davids Plunder (1 Samuel 29 – 30) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Holy Ghost Power
May 24, 2020 15:44 - 1 hour - 70.4 MBEP129 The post Holy Ghost Power appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Holy Ghost Power (1 Samuel 25 – 26)
May 24, 2020 15:44 - 1 hour - 70.4 MBEP129 (1 Samuel 25 – 26) Kyle gets into a frisbee golf fight. Kyle eloquently recaps David’s life for the past year or so. David has escaped into the desert of Ziph. He recruits some scouts and sneaks past Abner son of Ner into Saul’s camp and absconds with Saul water bottle and spear. Once... The post Holy Ghost Power (1 Samuel 25 – 26) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Beautiful AND Smart (1 Samuel 24 – 25)
May 17, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 73.9 MBEP128 (1 Samuel 24 – 25) Caleb returns from Isolation Festival. Saul has dealt with the Philistines in his rear and returns to pursuing David. David and 600 of his buddies hide in a cave. Saul decides he needs to drop a king sized deuce in said cave. As the fart sounds amplify off of... The post Beautiful AND Smart (1 Samuel 24 – 25) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Beautiful AND Smart
May 17, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 73.9 MBEP128 The post Beautiful AND Smart appeared first on Canada Comedy.
I Eat Ashes for Breakfast (Psalms 54, 56) (BONUS)
May 13, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 62.7 MBEP127 (Psalms 54, 56) This is the official opening of the book of Psalms. Honestly, the Psalms kinda sucks so we are giving it to you as a bonus. If your wondering what happened at 6:30, we had to edit a part out for being too funny. It’s basically the equivalent of finding David’s diary.... The post I Eat Ashes for Breakfast (Psalms 54, 56) (BONUS) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
This Shit is B.A.N.A.N.A.S (1 Samuel 23-24)
May 10, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 94.7 MBEP126 (1 Samuel 23-24) Kyle is going bald. After Saul massacred the priests at Nob, David is gathering forces at Keliah. Saul attempts a to seige Keliah in order to trap David. David asks god what he should do and god tells him to flee because king Saul is on the way. So Dave runs... The post This Shit is B.A.N.A.N.A.S (1 Samuel 23-24) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Daddy in Heaven (1 Samuel 20-21)
May 03, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 76.5 MBEP125 (1 Samuel 20-21) (Psalms 11 & 51) Kyle is right and Caleb apologies thereby fulfilling the prophecy. After David confirms that Saul is out to kill him, he flees to the land of Nob where he lies to the priest so that the priest will help. The priest is out of regular bread, but... The post Daddy in Heaven (1 Samuel 20-21) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Peginas (1 Samuel 19)
April 26, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 69.5 MBEP124 (1 Samuel 19) Kyle’s travel plans are cancelled. Saul’s jealousy of David’s success culminates in a red wedding-like plot to kill David. Luckily, Dave has an inside man in prince Johnathan. Thus begins the best bromance in the bible. The pair decide its best for Dave to skip the festival and Johnathan gauges the... The post Peginas (1 Samuel 19) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Bring Me the Dicks of My Enemies (1 Samuel 14)
April 19, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 75.4 MBEp123 (1 Samuel 14) Caleb loves the pandemic, Kyle hates it, Young Tism is retarded. We dip our dicks into the Psalms and then continue with the story. King Saul is jealous of David’s success so he hatches a diabolical plan. David wants to marry Sauls daughter. Saul sends David on a quest for 100... The post Bring Me the Dicks of My Enemies (1 Samuel 14) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17)
April 12, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 77.8 MBEp122 (1 Samuel 17) The young tism makes his podcast debut. Caleb talks about being underage in a bar in England. Kyle is getting into frolf. In the bible the Israelites are facing off against their bitter enemies the Philistines. A champion standing over 9 ft tall named Goliath of Gath taunts the Israelites day... The post David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Fill Your Horn With Oil and Take a Heffer (1 Samuel 16)
April 06, 2020 23:14 - 1 hour - 76.4 MBEp121 (1 Samuel 16) Kyle postulates that universal education is a waste of money. We go over the fates of the 12 Apostles of Jesus. Simon Peter is notable for inventing Bad Religion’s logo. Saul’s tenure of the kingship has come to an end, at least in god’s mind, so god has his mouthpiece go... The post Fill Your Horn With Oil and Take a Heffer (1 Samuel 16) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Fill Your Horn With Oil and Take a Heffer
April 06, 2020 23:14 - 1 hour - 76.4 MBEp121 The post Fill Your Horn With Oil and Take a Heffer appeared first on Canada Comedy.
72 Year Old Boomer Gets Rejected By God On Tinder
March 29, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 80.6 MBEp120 (1 Samuel 15) We get right into if Jesus really existed or not and martyrdom of the apostles. Lawfully is the hardest word to say in the English language. We might have corona. Kyle wonders why do not know more about who wrote the bible. Saul problems go from bad to worse. god commands […] The post 72 Year Old Boomer Gets Rejected By God On Tinder appeared first on Canada Comedy.
72 Year Old Boomer Gets Rejected By God On Tinder (1 Samuel 15)
March 29, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 80.6 MBEp120 (1 Samuel 15) We get right into if Jesus really existed or not and martyrdom of the apostles. Lawfully is the hardest word to say in the English language. We might have corona. Kyle wonders why do not know more about who wrote the bible. Saul problems go from bad to worse. god commands... The post 72 Year Old Boomer Gets Rejected By God On Tinder (1 Samuel 15) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
When Killing Your Son Backfires
March 23, 2020 17:47 - 1 hour - 109 MBEP119 The post When Killing Your Son Backfires appeared first on Canada Comedy.
When Killing Your Son Backfires (1 Samuel 13-14)
March 23, 2020 17:47 - 1 hour - 109 MBEP119 (1 Samuel 13-14) Kyle gets roofied for his birthday and the bois romanticize alcoholism. Caleb addresses the corona virus end of the world biblical prophecy. Wesley calls in from corona central. In the bible times Saul gets the dumb idea that his army shouldn’t eat until they have destroyed their enemies. Prince Johnathan DGAF... The post When Killing Your Son Backfires (1 Samuel 13-14) appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Uncircumcised Philistines
March 15, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 104 MBEp118 The post Uncircumcised Philistines appeared first on Canada Comedy.
Why Are All Priests Gay Rapists
March 08, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 86.1 MBEp117 The post Why Are All Priests Gay Rapists appeared first on Canada Comedy.