16. Reparenting Myself Through Chronic Feelings of Emptiness & Fear of Dying (Storytime)
back from the borderline
English - October 23, 2021 15:25 - 28 minutes - 23 MB - ★★★★★ - 394 ratingsMental Health Health & Fitness Education Self-Improvement spirituality podcast cptsd recovery complex trauma trauma healing childhood trauma self sabotage generational trauma jungian psychology depth psychology codependent podcast Homepage Download Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
I was scared to post this episode. My inner critic was telling me if I didn't prepare plenty of research and uphold my usual standards of perfection, my listeners would immediately unfollow the podcast. I decided to question that inner voice this time. On this episode, I get candid about chronic feelings of emptiness and numbness, a core feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and complex trauma (cPTSD.)
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Below are some concepts discussed in this episode:
■ My personal experience of chronic feelings of emptiness and numbness throughout my struggle with BPD
■ Identifying the first time I ever felt empty and numb as a child
■ Fear of dying / fear of the concept of "forever"
■ How big feelings can paralyze us as children and trap us in what feels like a permanently frozen state if we don't have caregivers who can support us through this process (often, our parents never had anyone to help them move through their OWN big feelings)
■ The negative impact of expecting a constant state of happiness as a measuring stick for successful recovery
■ Making the decision to switch my expectation of happiness for a state of contented, grounded, wise mind
■ Questioning my inner critic and re-parenting my inner child self
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