Finding Joy Part 2- 018

Today we will continue our topic on finding joy.  During the previous 2 weeks in episodes 16 and 17, we talked about the difference between happiness and joy. As you may recall, Jeff Spadafora in the book “The Joy Model” states that “differentiating joy from the term most often used interchangeably (and incorrectly) with joy: happiness.  Happiness is circumstantial. Joy, on the other hand, continues despite circumstances. I also talked about the model itself and how you need a balance between being and doing.  In review:

Being - Who is God….Who am I? Doing - What should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, and tribe?

The Joy Model is based on four quadrants with a vertical axis labeled as doing (what should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, tribe) and the horizontal axis labeled as being (Who is God, who am I). The bottom left square is “The frustrated believer”. The bottom right is labeled “The Heartless Hypocrite”. The top left is labeled “The Weary Worker”, and the top right is labeled “The Joyful Follower”.  As you may have figured out from the quadrant, moving to the top right is the goal and it requires a balance of being and doing.  Without the balance, focusing on being will lead you from a frustrated believer to a heartless hypocrite, where focusing only on doing will lead you from a frustrated believer to a weary worker. Integrating your being and your doing, knowing who you are and using your strengths and talents to add value to others, the community, and world which we live will bring joy.

Today’s episode, number 18, we are going to take a deep dive into the “M” of the acronym, MASTER.  We will spend the entire episode on this because it is such a key ingredient in leading a joyful life.  The M is for margin.  

Futurists back in the 50’s and 60’s predicted that with the advent of technology and other innovations that would free the human race from menial tasks, the average work week would be 24 hours, giving us unprecedented time for rest and relaxation.  So how has that bold prediction worked for us?  A Harris poll  indicated that the average time for leisure has shrunk by 37% since 1973, and the average workweek since that time has gone from 41 to 47 hours.

In his excellent book, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, Richard Swenson, M.D. describes margin like this:

Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating.

How do we find margin?  If we look at efficiency, we just need to do what we are already doing faster. Building quality, realistic margin in your life isn’t so much about efficiency and time management as it is about exploring our personal values.  We must remember that saying yes to one thing always means saying no to something else.  If you don’t know what your values and priorities are, you will say yes to anything that looks like it could bring benefit to yourself and bring joy.  The problem is, what brings you lasting joy?

Jeff Spadafora in “The Joy Model” says “There’s something one level deeper than our values that compels us to work so hard and overcommit ourselves.  It’s the False Self, which is rooted in fear, guild, comfort, pride, and/or greed and drives us to act in a way that we desperately hope will lead to the approval of others. He poses these questions to answer what is at the root of your business:

“Is it fun, energizing activity and work that is a natural outflow of who you are and what you really believe in? Or is it driven by Fear Pride Jealousy Selfishness Greed Boredom The desire to impress others Low self-esteem”

I know from working for many years for a large organization that many see business and rushing from one task to another as a badge of honor, but when you look hard at their accomplishments, they are really just running themselves ragged without accomplishing quality work. What I did see far too often is broken families and relationships, poor health, living for the weekend, and living for when they can retire.  That is not joy.

It isn’t hard to find people or hear of people who boast (or complain) of long hours, little sleep, no breaks, and many may move up the career ladder.  But many of those people end up in crisis, which can happen at any point in your life.

What about as we retire, shouldn’t we have margin then?  How many people retire and you hear them say they are busier than ever.  That’s OK if the business results in fun and energizing activities that are an outflow of who you are and what you believe.  But so many have things they want to accomplish in their encore life but keep repeating the phrase “I don’t know where the time went.”  They have goals and dreams for their encore life and they find themselves 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years later still hoping to have time to accomplish them, and still are not experiencing joy.

In an article by Lifehacker Magazine titled “Why You Need More Margin in Your Life (and How to Get it), they offer a few tips to help you find more margin.  They include:

Get more sleep - 6.5 - 8 hours of sleep is needed by most people. Make that non-negotiable Take advantage of Pareto - The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule, the law of the vital few, or the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Focus on the 20% that gives you the best results and let some of the rest go.  We will talk more about the Pareto Principal in a future episode. Give yourself an extra 15 minutes more than you think to get places and accomplish things.  I am a master at underestimating how much time it takes to get places and do things. Find ways to limit time on social media - Yes, this one comes up again.  Take advantage of some of the new features like screen time on iPhones and iPads and make it a point to reduce social media time, even impose limits on yourself.

They go on to say:”Margin has to be cultivated. Spend time every three months looking at your schedule and how you spend your time. Is there anything that can be removed? Are there 15 minute opportunities that you're missing? Are you using your down time to truly recharge? By being honest with yourself and ruthless about your priorities you can increase the likelihood that you stay happy and engaged at work and at home.

The Bible says that King Solomon is the wisest and richest man to ever live.  Economic historians state that in terms of percentage of the worlds total wealth, King Solomon was wealthier than John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie combined.  For reference, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet don’t make the top 10 all time list.  King Solomon states in the Bible:

Ecclesiastes 1:14 New International Version (NIV)

14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

I leave you with this action item.  Don’t chase after the wind, be still and listen to it for a moment as you consider what your values and priorities are and what one thing you can do to make more time for them.  Start by taking care of yourself.

“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge” -Henry Van Dyke (Writer, Professor, Clergymen)

Resources:

How to Create More Margin in Your Life: Michael Hyatt

Why You Need More Margin in Your Life: Lifehacker

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

Bible Gateway

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