Finding Joy 017

Last week we discussed the difference between happiness and joy.  In review from last week, let’s look again at a what Psychology Today stated:

Happiness is external. It's based on situations, events, people, places, things, and thoughts. Happiness is future-oriented and it puts all its eggs in someone else's basket. It is dependent on outside situations, people, or events to align with your expectations so that the end result is your happiness. But happiness is not joy because joy is not external, it can't be bought and it is not conditional on someone else's behavior. In fact, joy is not contingent on anything in order to exist.

If you are someone who is at or near retirement age and facing a time of transition, the opportunity to experience joy can be more within reach as you can focus your time on what is most important,  or more fleeting as you move from having your course charted for you, at least partially by your job or career, to seeking what’s next and how to best spend your time. Today we will be introducing The Joy Model from the book written by Jeff Spadafora, director of the halftime institute.  You will find the references to this book in the show notes.

As you know I am a man of faith and place my trust in Jesus Christ.  This book is very faith based and the joy model is based two principals:

Being - Who is God….Who am I? Doing - What should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, and tribe?

If you are a person of faith the message of joy from this book will resonate.  If you are not, there are concepts that you will be able to relate to. Everyone ponders the question of being and doing and asks themselves the questions who am I and what should I be doing, or what is my calling.  We will start with how joy is defined in The Joy Model which relates very well to last weeks podcast.  If you haven’t listened to episode 16 from last week, I encourage you to go back after finishing this episode. 

Jeff Spadafora starts by “differentiating joy from the term most often used interchangeably (and incorrectly) with joy: happiness.  Happiness is circumstantial.  When things are great at work, in our marriages, in our bank accounts, and with the kids, we are happy. But when our relationships get rocky, work becomes a drag, our investments tank, or the kids start misbehaving, happiness evaporates.  Joy, on the other hand, continues despite circumstances. Spadafora often uses the words peace, comfort, and fulfillment interchangeably with joy.

We discussed the formula E + R = O in episode 7, or how your response that you can control can have a positive impact on the outcome of any event, which you may not have any control over.  Understanding this can impact your joy ultimately, and here is why.  Even though Spadafora states that joy is not dependent on circumstances, he does say “you can improve your circumstances and your levels of joy by taking action on things that are within your control, such as your health, relationships, finances, career, and getting them in alignment with God’s ways, and subsequently your’ll find both your circumstances and your joy will improve. He goes on to say “It’s about obedience, about applying God’s principals to the parts of life you have control over”.

If you are a person of faith and you don’t feel you are experiencing the joy that is supposed to come as a result of that faith, you may feel guilty, resulting in a negative mindset that you don’t have a strong enough relationship with and trust in Jesus to experience joy, or the being question.  It could result in feeling that you aren’t reading the bible enough, aren’t sharing your faith enough, or aren’t DOING enough to experience joy from your faith.

The Joy Model is based on four quadrants with a vertical axis labeled as doing (what should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, tribe) and the horizontal axis labeled as being (Who is God, who am I). The bottom left square is “The frustrated believer”. The bottom right is labeled “The Heartless Hypocrite”. The top left is labeled “The Weary Worker”, and the top right is labeled “The Joyful Follower”.  As you may have figured out from the quadrant, moving to the top right is the goal and it requires a balance of being and doing.  Without the balance, focusing on being will lead you from a frustrated believer to a heartless hypocrite, where focusing only on doing will lead you from a frustrated believer to a weary worker. Integrating your being and your doing, knowing who you are and using your strengths and talents to add value to others, the community, and world which we live will bring joy. Two verses in the Bible that speak to this topic are Galatians 5:22-23 for being and Ephesians 2:10 for doing.

Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Ephesians 2:10 New International Version (NIV)

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Action Item:  Think about theses questions: Where are you on the continuum of being, knowing you are and who God is?  Where are you on the continuum of doing, knowing what you should do with your time, talents, and treasures. Are they balanced and is the point of convergence heading to the upper right? What one area do you need to focus on this week to get the balance you need to point toward joy?

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” Russel M. Nelson

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt

Next week we will look at a specific plan, a MASTER plan, to help fill the gap from where you are to the joy you so desire.

Resources:

Psychology Today: Joy vs. Happiness

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

Bible Gateway

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