How to Self-Care In a Time of Grief

In this Someone Get's Me Podcast episode, I speak about self-care during grief. This topic is emotionally connected and confusing. This conversation is a timely topic that came to me as I was doing some self-care in a current time full of grief. So I'm speaking from my heart and recent experience as well as my decades of work with people and specializing in grief recovery.

First, let's define grief. Grief is a conflicting mass of human emotion following any behavior change. It includes the loss of a pet or a loved one, or a job. It also includes moving, getting married, and having babies. When we change our routine, we experience grief.

Sometimes we think that grieving looks sad or angry or only looks numb or shut down, or how dare you to laugh while you're suffering. These conflicting societal messages don't serve at all because grief is a contradictory mass of emotion following any significant behavior change.

Grief is handled in different ways. Four days ago, my beloved dog of 11 years, almost 12 years, died, which was traumatic for me. She was given to me by an old client as a thank-you for saving his life when she was a puppy. Maggie and I had an intuitive connection. She saved my life on more than one occasion. Maggie was right there beside me when I had surgeries and other things. Until the end, she took care of me in her way.

So what are the things that we want to do or that we don't want to do when it comes to grief?

Give yourself permission to connect to people you know will listen and understand you - Pay attention to who you will share your grief with. Share your feelings with the people who will listen and say the right things. They will allow you to feel what will hold space for you during this time. They will not try to fix or save you.

 

Cry as much as you need to - You honor yourself and your body when you cry. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t cry. There is no right way to grieve. There is only your way. There is nothing wrong if you don’t cry. Get clarity on how you move through your emotions. Take away the judgment we all drive differently because of our biology and sensory makeup.

 

All emotions are okay and healthy- Grief is a conflicting mass of emotions. You can be angry. You can be numb. You can be happy and joyful and cry. 

Honor your timing and bandwidth.

Nurture yourself. Healing takes a lot of energy. Sleep, rest, and know that healing is personal. Honor yourself by doing things that feel good to you. Consider using candles, baths, and things that make you feel good.

 

Give yourself permission to feel joy and happiness again.

 

The truth is part of the healing journey is to walk through the difficulty and permit yourself to reawaken into a new and more amazing, inspired expression of who you are because of the power of that relationship that's now not in exact human form.

Thank you for listening, my friends, and thank you to those who knew Maggie for loving her. 

 

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