Sex and Psychology Podcast
289 episodes - English - Latest episode: 27 days ago -The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com
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Episodes
Episode 34: How To Talk To Your Doctor About Sex
May 13, 2021 17:47 - 48 minutes - 43.6 MBSex is a topic that is all too often neglected in the doctor’s office. That’s unfortunate because our health affects our sex lives and, at the same time, our sex lives affect our health. We need to open the lines of sexual communication in medical settings so that we can help people to lead happier, healthier lives both in and out of the bedroom. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I spoke with Dr. Michael Moreno. Dr Moreno is a family medicine physician of nearly 25 years. ...
Episode 33: How To Keep Passion Alive
May 06, 2021 17:46 - 47 minutes - 43.1 MBIn long-term relationships, feelings of passion tend to be really intense in the beginning, but typically decrease over time. As a result, one of the most common questions people ask about relationships is how to get that spark back—and keep it going. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I spoke with Dr. Amy Muise, an Assistant Professor at York University in Toronto, Canada who studies how couples can maintain sexual desire and satisfaction over time. We talked about the ke...
Episode 32: Sex and Relationship Therapy With LGBTQ Patients
April 29, 2021 17:45 - 48 minutes - 45.9 MBWhat does sex and relationship therapy look like for LGBTQ patients? What are the main issues that come up, and how are they similar to or different from the issues that arise in therapy with cisgender, heterosexual clients? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Thomas Whitfield, a sex therapist, educator, and researcher based in New York City whose work focuses on the LGBTQ population. Thomas is one of the co-hosts of the podcast The Obsessables and he has...
Episode 31: Common Sex Problems, And How To Fix Them
April 22, 2021 17:44 - 50 minutes - 47.6 MBSexual difficulties are more common than you might think. In fact, data from large nationally-representative surveys indicate that just over half of women and more than 40% of men report having experienced at least one sexual problem in the last year alone. The most common problem areas include issues with desire, arousal, orgasm, painful intercourse, and performance anxiety. So how fixable are these problems, and how are they most effectively treated? For this episode of the Sex and Psycho...
Episode 30: The Future of Sex and Relationships
April 15, 2021 17:43 - 43 minutes - 37.1 MBThe COVID-19 pandemic disrupted our sexual and romantic lives in a lot of different ways over the last year, and while some of the changes that occurred are temporary, others may stick around for years to come. So what’s in store for sex and relationships in the future, post-COVID world? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Jessica Pels and Dr. Amanda Gesselman. Jessica is the Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan, the largest young women’s media brand in the world....
Episode 29: So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex
April 09, 2021 17:43 - 51 minutes - 96 MBDr. Ian Kerner is the Sherlock Holmes of sex—he’s a detective who helps people to understand the mysteries behind their sexual problems. His approach to sex therapy begins with a simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.” This question establishes the “scene of the crime,” and then it all becomes a matter of searching for the clues that led up to it. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Kerner, who co-leads the sex therapy program at th...
Episode 28: How To Have Great Sex For Your Entire Life
April 01, 2021 17:42 - 51 minutes - 98.3 MBPeople have a tendency to think that the best sex of their life is in the past—it’s the sex they had when they were younger. So when people think about what their sex lives will look like in the future, they don’t necessarily see themselves as having much to look forward to. However, this line of thinking is all wrong. Sex can—and often does—get better with age. So what do you need to know when it comes to having great sex for your entire life? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Pod...
Episode 27: The Guide to Casual Sex and Healthy Hookups
March 25, 2021 17:41 - 58 minutes - 55.1 MBMuch has been said and written in the popular media about ‘hookup culture’ and the rise of casual sex. Trend pieces often portray casual sex as inherently damaging and bad for our mental health. But is this actually the case? How does casual sex really affect us? And what do you need to know when it comes to having good casual sex? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She currently teache...
Episode 26: Inside a Strip Club With a Cultural Anthropologist
March 18, 2021 17:40 - 53 minutes - 50.5 MBFor her doctoral dissertation, Dr. Katherine Frank worked as a dancer in several strip clubs and interviewed the regulars. As a student of anthropology, it was important for her to “do as the natives do” and really immerse herself in that environment to truly understand it. And what she learned is absolutely fascinating. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Frank to give you an inside look at her research, what really happens inside a strip club, and what ...
Episode 25: An Inside Look at a Sex Research Conference
March 11, 2021 17:39 - 54 minutes - 50 MBWhat actually goes on at a sex research conference? A lot of people seem to have the impression that it’s just a non-stop sex party. I hate to disappoint, but that’s not the case! I’m going lift the curtain and tell you what really goes on when a group of sex researchers get together. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Shayna Skakoon-Sparling. Shayna is a postdoctoral fellow at Ryerson University who studies sexual health decision-making and sexual negot...
Episode 24: A Sex Writer’s Journey Into the Heart of Desire
March 04, 2021 17:38 - 50 minutes - 48.1 MBWhat really takes place behind the scenes on an adult film set? What is it like to attend an orgasmic meditation retreat? Journalist Tracy-Clark Flory has the answers. In her lengthy career covering the sex beat in the popular media, she’s gone where few of us have gone before—and she’s learned a lot about the state of our current sexual culture. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Tracy to talk about her new memoir, titled Want Me: A Sex Writer’s Journey Int...
Episode 24: A Sex Writer's Journey Into the Heart of Desire
March 04, 2021 08:00 - 50 minutes - 48.1 MBWhat really takes place behind the scenes on an adult film set? What is it like to attend an orgasmic meditation retreat? Journalist Tracy-Clark Flory has the answers. In her lengthy career covering the sex beat in the popular media, she’s gone where few of us have gone before—and she’s learned a lot about the state of our current sexual culture. For this episode of the podcast, I sat down with Tracy to talk about her new memoir, titled Want Me: A Sex Writer’s Journey Into the Heart of Desir...
Episode 23: Chemical Romance – How Drugs Can Help Us Fall In Love And Move On After Breakup
February 25, 2021 17:37 - 57 minutes - 107 MBImagine there was a drug you could take to enhance your relationship or deepen your connection with your partner. Or a drug that could get rid of romantic jealousy. Or a drug that could help you move on faster after a traumatic breakup. This isn’t science fiction—these drugs are out there, and they just might be the future of falling in and out of love. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I interviewed Brian Earp, who is the Associate Director of the Yale-Hastings Program in...
Episode 23: Chemical Romance - How Drugs Can Help Us Fall In Love And Move On After Breakup
February 25, 2021 08:00 - 57 minutes - 107 MBImagine there was a drug you could take to enhance your relationship or deepen your connection with your partner. Or a drug that could get rid of romantic jealousy. Or a drug that could help you move on faster after a traumatic breakup. This isn’t science fiction—these drugs are out there, and they just might be the future of falling in and out of love. For this episode, I interviewed Brian Earp, who is the Associate Director of the Yale-Hastings Program in Ethics and Health Policy at Yale U...
Episode 22: What We Get Wrong About Bisexuality
February 18, 2021 17:35 - 56 minutes - 53.7 MBBisexuality continues to be one of the most misunderstood and controversial sexualities. Some people don’t think it exists at all and that it’s just a transitional identity people adopt before coming out as gay. Also, even among those who recognize that bisexuality exists, many believe things about it that aren’t true, such as the idea that bisexuality necessarily means equal attraction to men and women, or that bisexuals can only be attracted to partners within the gender binary. It’s time ...
Episode 21: The History of Sex Toys
February 11, 2021 17:33 - 50 minutes - 48.1 MBEver hear that story about how Victorian-era doctors were using vibrators on female patients who had been diagnosed with “hysteria?” That used to be one of my favorite stories to tell in my human sexuality class. However, it turns out that the story isn’t true. It’s time to learn the real history of the vibrator—and sex toys more generally. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I interviewed Hallie Lieberman, a sex historian and journalist. She is the author of Buzz: A Stimula...
Episode 20: How To Level-Up Your Sex Life
February 04, 2021 17:29 - 55 minutes - 46.8 MBFor most of us, our experience with sex education centered primarily around preventing sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies, with pleasure being mentioned rarely or not at all. In other words, few of us ever learn anything meaningful about how to have good sex. We also don’t typically learn how sex might change with age, or how to deal with common sexual difficulties. Fortunately, the Sex and Psychology podcast is here to give you the sex ed that you definitely didn’t get...
Episode 19: The Science of Kissing, and How to Be a Better Kisser
January 28, 2021 17:27 - 47 minutes - 43.6 MBKissing is one of the most common sexual and romantic activities, and it’s often people’s very first partnered sexual experience. Surprisingly, though, kissing is something that is rarely studied by sex researchers—and when it is, it’s often lumped in with affectionate behaviors, like cuddling and hand-holding, rather than sexual behaviors. So what do we know about kissing? For example, what is it that makes a kiss good or bad? And can science teach us how to become better kissers? In this ...
Episode 18: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Anal Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask
January 21, 2021 17:26 - 56 minutes - 107 MBAs a sex educator, one of the topics I get asked about most often is anal sex. This isn’t surprising, given that this subject usually isn’t discussed at all in most people’s sex education courses—and, if it is, it’s usually just described as a very high-risk activity. Also, if you look for information online, you’ll inevitably encounter a lot of conflicting reports and it can be hard to know what to trust. So what do you really need to know? What do people tend to get wrong about anal sex, a...
Episode 17: Polyamory Fact Versus Fiction
January 13, 2021 17:25 - 52 minutes - 39.4 MBInterest in polyamory is on the rise. Google trends reveal that searches related to polyamory have increased significantly over the last decade. Although interest is climbing, myths and misconceptions about polyamory abound, including the idea that it’s all about sex and that people who are polyamorous “just can’t commit.” It’s time to set the record straight. For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, a sociologist and certified sexuality educator who teaches at th...
Episode 16: What We Get Wrong About Men’s Sexual Desire
December 21, 2020 17:23 - 40 minutes - 37 MBA lot of people seem to be under the impression that men’s sexuality is simple. They see men as being perpetually horny and DTF and as always wanting more sex than women. They also tend to see sex as an inherently physical experience for men, having little do with emotions or intimacy. However, it turns out that this way of thinking about men and sex is all wrong. For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray, who holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the University o...
Episode 16: What We Get Wrong About Men's Sexual Desire
December 21, 2020 15:00 - 40 minutes - 37 MBA lot of people seem to be under the impression that men’s sexuality is simple. They see men as being perpetually horny and DTF and as always wanting more sex than women. They also tend to see sex as an inherently physical experience for men, having little do with emotions or intimacy. However, it turns out that this way of thinking about men and sex is all wrong. For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray, who holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the University of...
Episode 15: The Truth About Porn
December 09, 2020 17:21 - 51 minutes - 41.6 MBIn the eyes of many, pornography is inherently problematic. In fact, some have gone as far as to dub it a “public health crisis” because they see it as addictive and as one of the root causes of sexual violence. But is porn really such a major threat to individuals and to society? It turns out that science has a complex and nuanced story to tell about the effects of porn. It’s not inherently good or bad. It can have different effects on different people, and it’s important for us to underst...
Episode 14: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Threesomes
November 30, 2020 17:20 - 50 minutes - 48.2 MBHaving a threesome is one of the most popular sexual fantasies. In fact, when I surveyed more than 4,000 Americans about their biggest turn-ons for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that threesomes were the single most common thing people mentioned when they described their favorite fantasy of all time. However, despite the widespread appeal of this sex act, relatively few people have ever had one in real life. But just how many people have ever had a threesome before? What were their ...
Episode 13: The Orgasm Gap, and How to Close It
November 06, 2020 17:19 - 50 minutes - 38.8 MBIn sexual encounters between men and women, research has consistently found that there’s a sizable orgasm gap, such that men tend to reach orgasm with far greater frequency than their female partners. For example, when people reflect on their sexual experience over the past month, heterosexual men report orgasming 95% of the time, compared to just 65% of the time for heterosexual women. Interestingly, however, there’s no difference in orgasm rates when comparing gay men to lesbians, suggesti...
Episode 12: Sex and Disability
October 27, 2020 17:18 - 43 minutes - 80.8 MBThere are a lot of stereotypes about disabled persons, but one of the biggest is that they are necessarily asexual. However, that’s just not true. Disabled people have sexual wants and needs. They masturbate. They have sex. But almost no one talks about this. Sex and disability is a taboo topic that’s been on the margins for far too long, and we need to change that. For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Andrew Gurza, an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant. He has spoken a...
Episode 11: Sex, Power, and Social Justice
October 15, 2020 17:17 - 48 minutes - 35.3 MBThere is a common tendency to think about sex as simply a person-to-person interaction. However, this view overlooks the fact that sexual identity, attraction, and behavior are all influenced by broader social and cultural systems—and these systems can have a profound impact on the way sexuality is expressed by creating power imbalances, stigma, and shame. As a result, when we talk about sex, we can’t just talk about it as if it exists in a vacuum. We need to acknowledge the systems that sha...
Episode 10: The Psychology of Cuckolding
September 24, 2020 17:15 - 38 minutes - 26.4 MBCuckolding is a sexual practice in which someone is aroused by the idea of watching or listening while their partner has sex with another person—and it’s a surprisingly popular sexual interest. In the survey of 4,175 Americans’ sexual fantasies I conducted for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 52% of heterosexual men and 66% of gay and bisexual men had fantasized about this before. In addition, 26% of heterosexual women and 42% of lesbian and bisexual women reported having had this...
Episode 9: The Truth About Marriage
August 28, 2020 17:14 - 48 minutes - 90.2 MBIn the United States, the marriage rate is near a record low, and 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. Research has also found that rates of marital satisfaction have declined over time. In short, fewer people are getting married, those who do aren’t as happy as married couples in the past, and a heck of a lot of these relationships just won’t work out. So why is that? Why are relationships so hard? In this episode of the podcast, I spoke with Roger Nygard about his recent documentary and bo...
Episode 8: Sex Therapy in Kinky and Polyamorous Relationships
August 07, 2020 17:12 - 35 minutes - 65.7 MBPeople have a tendency to assume that those who are kinky and/or polyamorous must have sexual communication all figured out. However, just like anyone else, they face their own set of sexual and relationship problems—problems that sometimes require professional help. In this episode of the podcast, I spoke with Shamyra Howard, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and author of the book Use Your Mouth: Pocket-sized Conversations to Simply Increase 7 Types of Inti...
Episode 7: Sexual Desire, and How to Increase It
July 24, 2020 17:12 - 33 minutes - 62.5 MBOne of the most common relationship problems that drives couples to therapy is a sexual desire discrepancy, where one partner wants more sex than the other. In fact, about 1 in 4 people report having experienced this in the past year alone. This can be a longstanding pattern or issue in a relationship, but it can also emerge when one partner loses desire over time. So how do you deal with this situation effectively? In this episode of the podcast, I spoke with Dr. Lyndsey Harper, an Ob/Gyn ...
Episode 6: Tell Me What You Want--The Science of Sexual Fantasies
July 09, 2020 18:32 - 28 minutes - 54.5 MBWhat are the most common sexual fantasies in America? Where do our fantasies come from, and what do they say about us? And how can we communicate more effectively with our partners about our fantasies? In order to answer these questions, I conducted the largest and most comprehensive study of sexual fantasies ever in the United States. I surveyed more than 4,000 Americans from all 50 states ranging in age from 18-87 and wrote a book about the nature of sexual fantasies in the U.S. today, ti...
Episode 6: Tell Me What You Want–The Science of Sexual Fantasies
July 09, 2020 17:07 - 28 minutes - 54.5 MBWhat are the most common sexual fantasies in America? Where do our fantasies come from, and what do they say about us? And how can we communicate more effectively with our partners about our fantasies? In order to answer these questions, I conducted the largest and most comprehensive study of sexual fantasies ever in the United States. I surveyed more than 4,000 Americans from all 50 states ranging in age from 18-87 and wrote a book about the nature of sexual fantasies in the U.S. today, ti...
Episode 5: SexTech, Sexting, and Dick Pics in the Time of COVID-19
April 20, 2020 17:05 - 48 seconds - 91.1 MBLockdowns and “social distancing” guidelines are changing our intimate lives in major ways. For example, one of the things we’re seeing in our own research is that people are increasingly turning to sextech, such as by engaging in more sexting and cybersex. In fact, many adults are reporting trying these things for the very first time. In order to explore the various ways that people are leveraging sextech right now, I spoke to two experts in this area: Dr. Erin Watson and Tasha Falconer. I...
Episode 4: Maintaining a Healthy Intimate Life During Lockdown and Social Distancing
April 13, 2020 17:03 - 23 minutes - 44.1 MBThese are unprecedented times. Much of the world is currently living under lockdown conditions and practicing social distancing in order to curb the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus. So how is this affecting people’s intimate lives? How are our sex lives and relationships holding up, and is there anything we can do to more effectively navigate this complex and challenging situation? For the answers to these questions, I spoke to Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Co...
Episode 3: Why Good Sex Matters and the Neuroscience of Pleasure
April 05, 2020 17:02 - 33 minutes - 62 MBIn this episode of the podcast, I interview Dr. Nan Wise, a cognitive neuroscientist, certified sex therapist, and Associate Research Professor at Rutgers University. Dr. Wise just published a fantastic new book titled “Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.” We cover a wide range of questions and topics, including: What exactly is “pleasure?” Why are we experiencing less pleasure today than we used to? How c...
Episode 2: How ADHD Affects People's Sex Lives and Relationships
April 03, 2020 19:50 - 28 minutes - 53.7 MBFor this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I interviewed Dr. Ari Tuckman to learn how ADHD affects people’s intimate lives. Tuckman is a certified sex therapist and psychologist who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD. In this episode, we address a wide range of questions, including: How does ADHD affect one’s sex life? How does it impact a romantic relationship when one partner has ADHD and the other does not? And what can couples do to combat the challenges that ADHD...
Episode 2: How ADHD Affects People’s Sex Lives and Relationships
April 03, 2020 17:00 - 28 minutes - 53.7 MBAttention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a term that most people are familiar with. But when we hear about someone having ADHD, we tend to think about children and adolescents and how this disorder affects them at home or in school because most people who are diagnosed happen to be kids and there’s a widespread belief that people eventually “outgrow” ADHD. The reality, however, is that most kids with ADHD become adults with ADHD. Also, there are a heck of a lot of adults out there...
Episode 1: Sex, Love, and Relationship Advice from Drs. John and Julie Gottman
March 31, 2020 22:37 - 28 minutes - 52.3 MBFor the first episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with two relationship experts, Drs. John and Julie Gottman. They are the founders of The Gottman Institute and they have been studying sex and relationships for decades. The Gottmans have published a number of influential academic papers and bestselling books, with their latest being Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. I cover a wide range of topics in my interview with the Gottmans, including: Wha...