Says Who?
342 episodes - English - Latest episode: 12 days ago - ★★★★★ - 354 ratingsIn 2016, two friends—and author and a journalist--sat down to ride through the final weeks of the Presidential election by talking to the journalists covering it. They thought they were doing eight episodes. They were wrong. What started as a short trip has become a long and strange journey. They’ve gotten weird. They’ve made friends along the way. Mostly, the weird part, though.
Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Maureen Johnson, and legendary publisher of Punk Planet Magazine Dan Sinker as they digest the news each week. Says Who: it’s not a podcast—it’s a coping strategy.
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Episodes
HAPPY MEAL EXPRESS
March 03, 2022 06:05 - 1 hour - 55.2 MBWe got you a snack. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
February 23, 2022 06:05 - 58 minutes - 53.9 MBThis week’s thing is a little spicier than normal. It’s just a bit of a possible war situation, is all. But never fear! There are places you can go to find answers and relief, places like the newly-launched Truth Social—the new Trump social media platform that’s all the rage! Most of that rage is due to the fact that it doesn’t work, but still, what could go wrong? Also, if you can’t sleep, apparently the My Pillow guy is throwing pillows out of airplanes. Okay. Maybe those aren’t good thi...
BITCOIN FOR BRAINS
February 16, 2022 06:05 - 59 minutes - 54.5 MBWell, Dan and Maureen’s terrible game of “which one of us will have COVID in the house first” is over and Dan has won. Also, it is Maureen's birthday, something she neglected to mention when she sent the episode summary in. So this week they’ve decided to skip most of the news, because their brains are gravy and there are better things to talk about—like taco walks, and going to the park, and that one time Maureen accidentally starred in a TV show. We’ll talk about the Before, The Now, an...
FOOD, FUN, AND A MONKEY
February 09, 2022 06:05 - 59 minutes - 54.7 MBThis is a downright old fashioned episode! It’s got Trump! It’s got Mike Pence! It’s got Rudy! It’s got Disney! It has balls! It has food! It’s got people in trucks doing weird things! It’s got shades of insurrection! Maureen tells pointless stories and Dan brings it all home with some weird Chicago shit. And most importantly, it’s got MUSIC! So much music! So come on in and sing along! Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
GROUCHTOWN
February 02, 2022 06:05 - 59 minutes - 54.6 MBMaureen is in a grouchy mood, what with the two years of pandemic and whatever. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a wonderful story to tell—a story of cake and parties and English people being extra English. But Dan is the one who really has brought the goods. He has so many wonderful tales to tell! Tales of Trump and fax machines and Rudy knowing something! Tales of courts and trouble and that one time the rioters tried to hunt and kill Mike Pence for sport. This week is downright old fas...
YACHT ROCK
January 26, 2022 06:05 - 1 hour - 57.3 MBGoodness gracious! Is it Wednesday again? Maureen does not know. She is adrift in space and time and has devoted herself to yacht rock. Dan is keeping track, but he isn’t happy about it. Maureen wants to tell Dan about Boris Johnson and his many parties. UK politics has never been so… UK. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani is in trouble! So much trouble! So many kinds of trouble! The kind of trouble you can only get into if you have 18 phones, you’re constantly drunk, and you’re Rudy Giuliani. Not...
THE FULL BANANA
January 19, 2022 06:05 - 1 hour - 55.7 MBDan and Maureen are sleepy. They would like to take a nap. They have built two blanket forts in the SaysWhovia Town Hall and were trying to catch a few zzzz, but then they remembered that they needed to be awake. Obviously, this was tough to hear. The news this week is…not all bad? There is some hope on the COVID front? And there is some news that is just very English. Maureen is here to talk about Partygate again—the scandal that has cheese. And there’s also bad news! But mostly, Dan and M...
THE FART OF THE MATTER
January 12, 2022 06:05 - 1 hour - 55.6 MBWe apologize in advance. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
DOUCHE YOU THINK 2022 WILL BE DIFFERENT
January 05, 2022 06:05 - 59 minutes - 54.9 MBDan needs a moment. Things seem to be going in circles. It’s all COVID and January 6th. Is this just 2021 in a disguise? Dan has lots of statistics. He does not like them one bit. But Maureen has tales to tell! She had an adventure with a Christmas Tree, and New York has a new mayor! Everything is new and fresh and different, and if it isn’t, Dan and Maureen and determined to make it so. It’s slogan time. It’s cult time. And also we find out that young Dan was raised by soap operas an...
2021's OVER (IF YOU WANT IT)
December 29, 2021 06:05 - 1 hour - 55.2 MBIt's time for Dan and Maureen to do a wrap up of what can only be described as 2020 2: MORE OF THE SAME. We had it all this year! We started with a book deadline, a coup, and COVID. We end it with a book deadline, the ongoing outcomes of a coup, and more COVID! Also Dan got a new hot water heater. He’s cold, and he hasn’t showered. Maureen fully flakes and begins to perform musicals. Which is why Dan and Maureen are starting the cult for real. It’s time. 2022. It’s going to be great. Nothi...
OMICROM PLACE LIKE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
December 22, 2021 06:05 - 58 minutes - 53.2 MBWhat could possibly go wrong. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
MIND JENGA
December 15, 2021 06:05 - 1 hour - 57.4 MBDan and Maureen are in the festive spirit. Maureen has been following the story of the Very Naughty Christmas Party that is rocking the UK. And also all the Omicron. Also that. Oh, and a billion internet weirdos who have come to say hello to her. She’s keeping it all straight in her head. Dan’s littlest son has returned to school, so Dan is really not sure where he is or what is going on. Everything is quiet. More time to read about the insurrection! He will tell Maureen all about it. He’s ...
SHARKUS INTERRUPTUS
December 08, 2021 06:05 - 56 minutes - 51.8 MBDan and Maureen are going out of 2021 by going into the world. Not far into the world—just a little bit. Maureen has gone in for a hairdo. Dan’s son is going back into school. They are embracing the world again! Because nothing can go wrong now! Trump and co are also saying yes to life by starting a new enterprise—and what an enterprise! They have founded a company that will do everything! All the media! Everywhere! All the time! They are very good at making things happen and running things...
OMICRON
December 01, 2021 06:05 - 1 hour - 56 MBNo really, it's fine. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
GREAT BALLS OF BEZOS
November 24, 2021 06:05 - 58 minutes - 53.2 MBIt’s Thanksgiving week and Maureen and Dan are preparing by not really preparing because neither one of them is really *that* into Thanksgiving. Make it what you want! Do your own thing! Fill your shoes with mashed potatoes! Jump up and down on the table! Steal your neighbor’s car and go hunting for cranberries! It’s YOUR day! It’s also the day of reckoning for some of the great patriots of January 6th. They have gotten into some trouble. Not much, but probably more than we were expecting...
THE GREAT INTERMISSION
November 17, 2021 06:05 - 59 minutes - 54.8 MBMaureen is reporting in from a beach in Mexico, where the air is soft, the surf is soothing, and the trees are full of iguanas. She has been writing in the sun. Dan has been on top of the news—and there’s good news! Danny Fenster has been freed from jail in Myanmar, Steve Bannon is heading in, and Alex Jones is about to lose all his money! It’s fantastic stuff. Dan is happy. Maureen is blissful. The iguanas are romantic. The sea laps the shore, and all is well. But Maureen has questions. W...
BIG BIRD HAS A POSSE
November 10, 2021 06:05 - 1 hour - 55.1 MBDan's six-year-old has gotten vaccinated and Maureen's en route to Mexico! Things are CHANGING SaysWhovia, and it's OK. Things change, that's a lesson Dan's little one just learned from Sesame Street. But one thing that hasn't changed is that Ted Cruz is an asshole, and on today's episode we'll learn what happens when the king of Chunky Soup takes on a beloved franchise that has looked out for kids for the last half-century. Make sure your tray tables are locked, SaysWhovia, it's go time. ...
Q CREW AND THE DEAD KENNEDYS
November 03, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 55.6 MBExciting news this week! Maureen got her window fixed! And she went into a Bed, Bath, and Beyond! Dan wants to tell her about the news, but she needs him to know all about it. It was so spacious! So full of concrete! Dan is persistent. There is a very important gathering happening in Texas—the Q Crew are down in Texas, waiting for the return of JFK Jr. Which is weird. But it gets so much weirder. So much weirder. It turns out we haven’t had 30 presidents, and everyone is coming back from...
DAN AND THE AMAZING TECHNIPOCKET DREAMCOAT
October 27, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 55.1 MBLook, this episode goes off the rails pretty much from the start, but you’re about to hear the tale of Young Dan and his Magic Coat. Plus, vax for kids, not so much for cops. And, Facebook. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
SIX IS A MAGIC NUMBER
October 20, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 56.2 MBDan wants to talk to Maureen about some things going on in the news, like the fact that Steve Bannon is in hot water. Maybe. Possibly. If everyone gets together and decides to do something about all the crimes and whatnot. Maureen is interested, but there is some stuff she would like to tell Dan as well, like how the number six is magic. Remember January 6th? And all the other things that go with six? So many things. Also, she is in Philadelphia, so she does not have to worry about elevators...
HAPPY OCTONOVEDECEMBEREEN
October 13, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 55.2 MBSaysWhovia, the months are getting jumbled and the holidays are colliding and all anyone really wants to do is get through it. Because let's face it: what is time anymore, really when you think about it? It's time to ask big questions, SaysWhovia: What day is it again? Have they minted the trillion dollar coin yet? Will Maureen ever get a second elevator? Is Dan's kid ever getting a vaccine? We'll figure it out eventually. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Pat...
HUDSON'S ELEVEN
October 06, 2021 05:05 - 57 minutes - 52.8 MBThere’s a trillion dollar coin out there. Someone’s got to steal it. Why not Maureen and Dan? cue suspenseful drumming Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
DAN'S FORMAL APOLOGYCAST
September 29, 2021 05:05 - 59 minutes - 54.6 MBContent warning: It gets spicy in this one, and it’s all Dan’s fault. He’s sorry. Far too much is said about Trump’s lil’ tooter. Yeah, it’s pretty much covered in the content warning. Buckle up and keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
IMAGINARY HARMONICAS
September 22, 2021 05:05 - 56 minutes - 51.4 MBOh, hello! Dan and Maureen didn’t see you. Dan is hiding in his basement, writing emails. Maureen is stuck in an elevator. Both of them are trying to help their families outrun COVID. Because, COVID! It’s Still Here! Dan has a lot to say about testing and tracing and AP History. Maureen is still really just trying to get in or out of an elevator. Will she ever leave New York City? Can Dan convince her to move to the woods? Have you ever had fried clams? There’s a lot of talk of elevators in...
IT'S LUNCHBOX TIME
September 15, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 56.2 MBFIVE YEARS! Yes, you read that right. Says Who is celebrating FIVE YEARS of this EIGHT WEEK podcast! It’s time for celebrations! Parties! Picnics on the square! Dancing! Except Maureen has had A Week, and she needs to tell you all about it. ALL about it. This may take a while. Plus, Rudy gets drunk and Trump hangs out with a cult. What else is new. HERE’S TO FIVE MORE YEARS! Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
DEAD FLOWER SPECIAL
September 08, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 59.3 MBDan and Maureen are out of the news business this week. It’s bad. Instead, this Says Who is about culture! Fun things! Things that make Dan and Maureen happy! At least, it will be once Maureen is done explaining all the things she has to do to get ready for Oscar’s green card interview in the morning. So much paperwork. So many details. What did they serve at the wedding? Was there cake? There were jars of stuff, but what was in them? Dan will try to get a word in edgewise, but he will not ...
IT'S FOR HORSIES
September 01, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 58 MBWelcome to the Says Who Good Times Fun Hour, which is what we’re calling it this week as everything is A Lot and people are starting to get a bit crispy around the edges. So let’s keep it light and fun! Let’s talk about Rudy Giuliani eating soup! Because he does not eat it like other people. He eats it Rudy Style. And it’s gross! You won’t like it. Also, let’s talk about medicine for horsies, because it 2021, and people take that now. And then they get a case of the Rudys. It all comes back...
PODCASTING FOR GOLDFISH
August 25, 2021 05:05 - 59 minutes - 54.4 MBPretty sure Maureen forgot what was discussed on this episode. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
BACK TO BURGERTOWN
August 18, 2021 05:05 - 59 minutes - 54.2 MBDan and Maureen are back after last week’s absence! Dan has returned home to Chicago. His teenager has returned to school. We’re going back out, except where we’re all going back in! No one has any idea what’s happening! Except for two people: Rudy and My Pillow Mike. Rudy is now on Cameo, and that is a lot of what today’s episode is about. Rudy will greet you for $400! Would you like a greeting from Rudy? Find out what that sounds like! Dan and Maureen almost veer into terrible news, but...
THE LAW FIRM OF DRUNK, BROKE, AND FARTING
August 04, 2021 05:05 - 58 minutes - 53.3 MBGreetings from the road, SaysWhovia! Dan is in the wilds of Colorado. Maureen is in Philadelphia. Both are super alarmed by the fact that no one seems to be wearing masks! They do not like it! There’s been news this week—classic, SaysWho type news. Rudy Guiilliani is having a bad time. He’s broke. He’s in trouble. He’s down to the cheap booze and his pants keep falling off. Trump is no longer taking his calls. So this is the right time to give an interview and let it all hang out. Meanwhil...
SETTLE DOWN, GISELA
July 28, 2021 05:05 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MBDan is out on the road, not in a hot car. Maureen is up in the cool mountains of Massachusetts. Did politics happen this week? Probably. Dan and Maureen do not want to know. For a blissful moment, they are Somewhere Else doing Something Else. Both have chosen good times to be somewhere else, because things are going great, and nothing is happening with COVID. Or everything is! No one knows. This is the time for hot, maskless gatherings in Nebraska parking lots and anti-tax teachers to he...
SOME LIGHT SUMMER READING
July 21, 2021 05:05 - 54 minutes - 49.7 MBSaysWhovia! Dan is on the road, which in this case is literal: he's recording from the back of his car again. But it's OK! He's under a tree, what could go wrong. Meanwhile, Maureen and Dan have been reading the new Trump tell-alls that have been coming out. Today, let Maureen and Dan tell you about them so you don't have to read them! Maureen started "Frankly, We Did Win This Election: The Inside Story of How Trump Lost" by Michael C. Bender but ended up being deeply invested in the men...
PLAY CLOWN GAMES, WIN CLOWN PRIZES
July 14, 2021 05:05 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MBIt's really summer now SaysWhovia, but Dan and Maureen are gearing up for... leaving? Is that still a thing? That is if covid variants and government bureaucracy let them go. But before they leave town, how about discussing the various Trump legal clowns who have been playing clown games this week. Sure, of course there's Rudy because there's always Rudy, but there's enough clownage to go 'round this time. Put on your giant shoes and your rubber nose, SaysWhovia, because it's clown time. ...
THE 200TH TIME IS THE CHARM
July 08, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 56.3 MBIt’s the 200th episode! Yes, the little podcast that was a coping strategy that was never supposed to exist like this celebrates its 200th episode! To mark the big 200, Dan and Maureen answer your questions! Learn about Maureen’s very flexible policies in terms of where she will go. Find out what young Dan did for fun. Why are they still doing this? Do they like it? Can they ever stop? What is going on? All of these questions and more will be answered. Now, blow out these candles! The cur...
A HARD POUNDING
July 01, 2021 05:05 - 54 minutes - 50.2 MBIt’s the Says Who, One Day Late Edition! Maureen has had a wild couple of days, which threw the S.S. Says Who off course by 24 hours. Everyone in her house has been barfing, either literally or metaphorically. But she isn’t the only one sailing rough seas. The Good Ship Rudy has been rolling to and for on the waves. Poor Rudy! He must be so seasick! Luckily, his son and first mate, Andrew, is here to defend him! By shouting! So much shouting! Meanwhile, a small speedboat containing the Tru...
MRS. ROPER
June 23, 2021 05:05 - 57 minutes - 52.6 MBReally really sorry. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
I GOT NOTHING
June 17, 2021 05:05 - 58 minutes - 53.7 MBIt’s pub day for Maureen! Her new book is out! She seems . . . tired. Maybe a little confused. But Dan is here to perk her up by telling her about other new books. This does not work as well as he plans. Meanwhile, the ranging debate about which Trump child is least loved rages on. Then Maureen and Dan reminisce about their old jobs. Dan I can’t even remember what we talked about. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
Says Who Special: The Box in the Woods
June 11, 2021 12:00 - 20 minutes - 18.5 MBJuly 6th, 1978. Four teenagers went into the woods one night. They did not return alive. What happened in Barlow Corners? Who put the counselors in the Box in the Woods? Want to know what happened? You can find out by reading The Box in the Woods. Visit maureenjohnson.com for more information. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
FIVE MINUTES WITH STEPHEN KING
June 09, 2021 05:05 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MBIt’s under a week now until Maureen’s book is out, and Dan wants her to talk about it. Maureen is not so sure. Dan helps her by telling her tales of his own book experiences. Dan has a story to tell. Meanwhile, slash-desk is no more. RIP slash-desk, we barely knew ye. Where does a guy go when he doesn’t even have his slash-desk anymore? On the road! And apparently, to New Jersey! If a Trump goes to a New Jersey and no one cares, did he even go? Also, Don Jr. does Cameo now. So that’s a thin...
COUP STORY, BRO
June 02, 2021 05:05 - 57 minutes - 52.4 MBIt’s summertime in SaysWhovia! The lawn chairs are out. The pool floats have been inflated. And Trump is back on his bullshit! Wait, what? Oh right. Time is a flat circle. Yes, he’s back! Ranting and raving in a way that is not at all concerning! By that, we mean… kind of concerning! It’s possible that the Trumpets are planning a little light treason. Nothing to worry about. Besides, Dan has big news! The first reports of what President Biden eats are in… and there is big news in this depa...
THE TRAGIC KINGDOM with Akilah Hughes
May 26, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBOur friend Akilah has been back to Disneyland now that it's reopened after 14 months, and what a magical day she had. Come, Sayswhovians, take a break from the unrelenting pace of news and just... enjoy yourself at the happiest place on earth. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
THE SOUP IN THE WOODS
May 19, 2021 05:05 - 53 minutes - 49.2 MBWe all developed new hobbies during lockdown. Maureen collected bins and drop-crotch jumpsuits. Dan made masks and relentlessly trolled Maureen about the state of New York politics. This is still his favorite! He does it ALL THE TIME. This was the biggest week yet for Dan’s new pastime. Andrew Guillani has entered the ring and Dan simply could not be more delighted. Maureen tries to deflect. There are horny peacocks to talk about. And horny donkeys. And roller-skates. And soup. None of it w...
SLASH DESK
May 12, 2021 05:05 - 56 minutes - 51.6 MBIt’s a big week, SaysWhovia. Maureen has a guest. In her house. Someone is STAYING OVER. Because life is finding a way. Because he doesn’t want her to get too excited about the experience, Dan decides to tell Maureen all about the state of the mayoral race in New York City—a race in which no one seems to know anything except Andrew Yang. He’s going to be the winner! Dan is sure of it. Maureen is less happy. Dan’s job is done. But the big story this week is that nothing stays buried forever...
FOOTLOOSE
May 05, 2021 05:05 - 58 minutes - 53.9 MBSpring has come to SaysWhovia and the world is reopening! Maureen has gotten a hairdo! She went to a place! With a person! Dan also went to a place with a person, but for a different reason. Dan had a little accident. His foot is not 100% what it should be at the moment. Luckily, we know someone who is good with feet. Meanwhile, two prominent dirtbags have been caught dirtbagging—because these dummies kept writing it all down. These aren’t bright guys, and things got out of hand. Yes, both ...
EXCELSIOR!
April 28, 2021 05:05 - 59 minutes - 54.1 MBIt’s happening, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have had both of their shots. They got a little sleepy, but now they are thinking about reentering the world. No, really this time. It’s a whole new era! One filled with grocery stores, maybe not wearing a mask outside, perhaps sitting on a bench…that kind of thing! Sure, there will be a transition period. Dan has an inflatable couch for that. And Maureen has all these beans and plastic bins. And an Excelsior pass! What’s an Excelsior pass? You’r...
THE VERDICT
April 21, 2021 05:05 - 54 minutes - 49.7 MBToday’s episode is a little different. Dan and Maureen were about to record when the verdict came in, so they stopped until it was read. What follows is the immediate reaction to the verdict and a discussion of the strange, in-between times we live in. Also, Dan has been trolling Maureen, and eventually there is a discussion about celery. Content info: This episode, obviously, deals with the results of the Derek Chauvin trial and the legacy of black death at the hands of the police. Also, ...
SMOKE: IT'S WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST
April 14, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 55.1 MBCould it be, SaysWhovia, that soon it will be time to rejoin the world? To dance and sing? Or, get dental care? Get gravy? Look out the window? Maureen and Dan are ready! Well, they will be! Maybe! Give it time. Soon. Soon they will be. Just not yet. So instead of traveling out, they travel back in time too when everyone smoked everywhere and things stank. Want to hear stories about eight year olds buying cartons of cigarettes for elderly relatives? You are in luck! Maureen has been doi...
WHEN THE GOING GAETZ TOUGH
April 08, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 55.2 MBWhat a week it has been, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen are a day later than norm, because Maureen had a book come out on Tuesday. She had to do 19 interviews, which means she had to talk a lot. Blah blah blah, all day long. She is behind on the news. Luckily, Dan has been paying attention! He has a story to tell her—a story about a man named Matt who did some very bad things. You may think you know all the bad things, but you don’t. Dan will tell you about them in tremendous detail. The story...
SHOW ME THE MONKEY
March 31, 2021 05:05 - 1 hour - 57.3 MBIt’s a big week here in SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen have both received their first shot. Dan was slightly overwhelmed by the experience. It has been a long time since he has been out. Meanwhile, the sideways boat has been freed, which reminds Maureen of a time she was on a boat. A lot happened on this boat. She will tell you all about it. Neither of them are ready for prime time. Down in Florida, local man Donald Trump is giving weird speeches at weddings, and also he will come to your part...
DAN GETS A STICK
March 24, 2021 05:05 - 56 minutes - 52 MBCONTENT ALERT: Maureen discusses the use of a diet tracking app and eating behaviors from minute 32:14 until 35:04. Toot toot! It’s Says Who time, and there’s big news! Dan is going to be vaccinated! He’s excitedly preparing to go to Walgreens. Maureen is not up for her stick yet, but she has been to Walgreens, so who is the real winner here. America gets back to normal, ever so slowly, and that means a return to mass shootings. Which is tragic. Also, Roger Stone returns to the wild and D...