119: HELP! I do all the Holiday Work!!!

Today's podcast was inspired by a listener named Jan.  Here is what she wrote-"Hi Krista, I love the holidays, but feel I end up doing most of the work, cleaning, decorating, shopping, etc and get exhausted just even thinking about it!  I don't think I get to fully enjoy the holidays as those around me get to."

This is such a common issue not only at the holidays, but in everyday life.  Many of us over-help, manage and  strive to be useful and productive at our workplaces, our homes, and in our relationships often at our own detriment.  

As a result, our needs go unmet.  We try to hint by being dropping subtle hints or even becoming passive aggressive, but to no avail-other people often don't pick up on our vague requests.  We are terrified to be honest about what's not working in the relationship because we are trying to manage someone else's feelings.  

This episode I dive into the topic of choice, needs, staying regulated and allowing yourself to feel your feelings-all really important things to acknowledge when we are doing the hard work of mastering our boundaries.  

Listen to learn:

Why needs are the foundation to boundaries
The #1 mindset you need for setting any boundary
Why boundaries are an essential tool for any important relationship
Why boundaries sometimes feel so challenging

"When we don't acknowledge the fact that we've got choice, that is the exact moment that our life goes into chaos and we become a victim of life." ~Krista Resnick

"We want to create a space- a pause before we react.  Because in these situations, we get to ask the hard questions...do we HAVE to entertain?   And do I HAVE to do ALL of the work? Is that the way that it has to be just because that's the way that it's always been done? Or could there be another possibility here? Could there be some other choices? Could there be some other alternative options that we get to take a look at?" ~Krista Resnick

"Needs are not the same as being needy.  Needy is coming from that place of your unhealed wounds. It's that 'you complete me' type energy. It's I need you to do X, Y or Z or to show up as X, Y or Z so that I can be okay. Needs come from our leadership. They come from our autonomy. They come from our sovereignty which sounds like... 'Hey, I have a need. And because I am a sovereign human being, because I love and honor myself I am asking for this need to be met." ~Krista Resnick 

LINKS:

How to Not Be So Hard On Yourself

REPLAY-Holiday Triggers & Trip-Ups

HEALTHY HOLIDAY WORKBOOK