Parenting Paused
233 episodes - English - Latest episode: 12 days ago - ★★★★★ - 19 ratingsParenting Paused presses PAUSE on those shame inducing parenting failures. It presses PLAY on your inner wisdom and the ability to be the parent you want to be. Join Leslie Potter, mother and founder of Purejoy Parenting, as she shares her personal experiences as well as works with other moms and dads in real time to show you the step-by-step process to turn your parenting around.
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Episodes
Ep. 180 Kindness is not about Being Nice
June 04, 2023 13:54 - 7 minutes - 10.4 MBKindness is a BIG word right now! We often hear in the parenting world that kindness is being nice and if your child is being mean, our goal should be to change their behavior to something more agreeable. Do you see kindness as only “good”? Do you feel the need to change your child's behavior if you perceive it as mean? In this week’s podcast you’ll hear how kindness is not so black and white and how you can turn it into a beautiful tool for yourself and your family. Listen now! Ki...
Ep. 179 Are your Conclusions True?
May 29, 2023 11:07 - 7 minutes - 9.93 MBTake a Purejoy Parenting conclusion quiz! Read these scenarios and discover where your mind takes you! Ready? Go! Your son has been playing video games for the past several hours and says he doesn't want to go for a walk. - What's your first thought? Your daughter stole her sister's clothing to wear to school. - What do you conclude about her? Your preK just pushed a kid down a slide at the playground. - What do you tell yourself about them? Explore what it is like to suspend...
Ep. 178 Tolerating Discomfort
May 21, 2023 13:06 - 7 minutes - 9.87 MBAre you feeling "shoulded" on in your parenting? You should do this and your children should do that. Are you organizing your life to avoid the discomfort that comes along with all of the "shoulds"? What is it like to try something new? Are you ready to be the expert of you? Are you willing to welcome that discomfort as a friend rather than a foe? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore what this counter instinctual work is able to offer you.
Ep. 177 Trust Your Biology
May 15, 2023 14:59 - 7 minutes - 10.1 MBTrust Your Biology In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the topic is Parenting Biology... a much different topic than Parenting Psychology! Have you considered how much of your parenting wisdom comes almost thoughtlessly, through an innate system of biology? Or, are you more likely to trust a parenting "expert", book, or trusted friend or family? Is there resistance to seeking internal guidance? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the invitation is to open up to trusting the i...
Ep. 176 Lighten Up
May 07, 2023 20:48 - 6 minutes - 9.42 MB"Grown ups are boring!" I remember when my child said this to me. My first thought was, "Well of course we are. We have to be! We are parents and have chores and bills and jobs and meals and our own parents to take care of!" My second thought was, "Good point... Why do I have to be so serious?" Do you remember thinking adults were boring when you were a child? Do you have a tendency to bring heaviness to your parenting? Take a moment to consider the possibility of bringing child-like lig...
Ep. 175 Riding the Waves of Feelings
May 01, 2023 15:02 - 6 minutes - 9.36 MBImagine being at the beach, watching the waves at a distance as they rumble under the surface, rise to a peak, then fold on to the shore, sending fizzing bubbles over your toes. Are you able to stop that cycle in anyway? Now imagine watching the waves of emotions inside you as they rumble under your conscious surface, rising to a peak and then folding on to the shore... how do you feel when you sense that discomfort? Discover more, now!
Ep. 174 Set Your Kids Free
April 23, 2023 13:57 - 7 minutes - 10 MBAre you upset when your kids don't like you? Before listening to the podcast, take a moment, either right now or later in the day, to truly contemplate this question. How does your answer impact how you parent? How does your response alter how you relate to your own parents or other parents? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover how to set your child, spouse or others FREE from your need to be loved. Check it out!
Ep. 173 Meeting the Moment
April 16, 2023 13:37 - 6 minutes - 8.91 MBProjection in Parenting! What does that even mean? Let's say your child hits someone at a playdate. Or your teen just arrived home late from a party. What happens to you right in that moment? When your mind starts to fill in a story between the gaps of what actually occurred you are projecting either the past or a future outcome on the moment. Imagine meeting each moment as if seeing for the first time. How would this change your relationships? Curious? Listen now!
Ep. 172 Parent Pleasing
April 09, 2023 04:00 - 8 minutes - 11.5 MBAre you a Parent Pleaser? You've probably heard about People Pleasing, saying "yes" when you really don't want to, etc. This strategy is used to protect yourself from feeling an emotion by ignoring your own personal boundaries. (Essentially, purchasing love). How does this work in Parent Pleasing? Well, do you act a certain way with your child to ensure you always feel kind and loving? Here's the same question from a different view: have you ever perceived your child as demanding or enti...
Ep. 171 Acting Out Your Energy
April 03, 2023 14:24 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBWhen did you have your last emotional meltdown?💥 A fight with your spouse, your kids, a coworker... Did you say something in the moment you wished you hadn't? 😫 So much of parenting advice is about supporting children to emotionally regulate, but what if you are struggling with how? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover an easy signal that supports you in unlinking your emotional energy from your actions.
Ep. 170 Parenting is Messy!
March 27, 2023 14:01 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBAre you getting derailed by your own expectations? You try a new trick to be on time in the morning, but your child can't find their left shoe. (Again!) You plan a beautiful family outing for some much-needed fun and it is filled with temper tantrums. Of course, you expect a lot from yourself and your children... and the truth is Parenting is Messy! Discover here the root of these expectations while learning how to work with them the Purejoy way.
Ep. 169 How to Set a Boundry
March 20, 2023 15:31 - 9 minutes - 13.5 MBIs setting boundaries a struggle for you? Or do you find it easy? You probably have heard at some point, "Kids need boundaries!" But... what does that really mean? And how do you do it? What's the difference between setting a "healthy personal boundary" and controlling your child's behavior? Listen to discover the nuance.
Ep. 168 Where Is The Joy?
March 13, 2023 13:15 - 6 minutes - 9.15 MBWhat was your parenting fantasy before you had kids? How different is it to what you experience daily? Perhaps you visioned preparing a creatively delicious healthy dinner and your children eagerly gobbled it up glowing brighter with inner health, bite by bite. Instead, they whine and complain about not having mac n cheese and how disgusting vegetables are. Maybe you dreamed that your children stopped fighting because you learned that new technique about sibling rivalry. And the next sec...
Ep. 167 Don't Take My Word On It
March 06, 2023 14:00 - 8 minutes - 11.4 MBAre you trying to be the perfect parent? Even if you know on a conceptual level, that "perfect" doesn't exist... are you *still* trying to be perfect? What does that look like to you? How do you define a perfect parent? Does this idea come from a book, a movie, your own parents or grandparents? Or maybe the image of Mary Poppins who is "practically perfect in every way". Where does that internal voice come from saying "you should do this" or "you should be better". Or a really common one...
Ep. 166 Feeling Insecure in Your Parenting?
February 27, 2023 15:00 - 6 minutes - 8.74 MBHave you ever looked at your kids and thought: "What the heck am I doing?!?!?!" The feeling of insecurity in parenting is SO common! Just look at the parenting "expert" field... it's massive these days! Do these scenarios sound familiar? In your excitement, you shared a story about your parenting with your mother, only to receive the "Mom Look"! You know the one: Disapproval without saying a single word. Or... You are at a playdate and a friend provides some unsolicited advice on w...
Ep. 165 Returning To Innocence
February 20, 2023 15:00 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBThis week in the Parenting Paused Podcast, listen in to explore the concept of innocence. How do you respond to a newborn baby when they cry? When they express a need in the only way they know how? - Do you conclude that they are manipulating you? How do you respond to your child, tween, or teen when they express a need? - Do you conclude that they are manipulating you? And how do you treat yourself? Listen to rediscover your own innocence, so that you can welcome it in yoursel...
Ep. 164 Practical Skill Sets
February 13, 2023 15:00 - 7 minutes - 9.83 MBYou *really* believe your kiddo should want to do their chores, do the dishes, the laundry, stop playing video games and help make dinner ... the list goes on! How do you behave when they don't? Do you use shame or blame? Subtle coercion or bribes? All the old parenting tricks? Now go one step further: How do you feel when they don't? This week, you'll explore how your emotional reactions impact the way you teach your kiddos the practical skill sets of life. Of course, you want...
Ep. 163 The Family Template
February 06, 2023 18:22 - 6 minutes - 9.29 MBHave you ever heard yourself saying the exact same thing your mother or father said to you as a child, and been horrified? So many parents seek help because they do NOT want to parent from the family template they were given. It didn't work for you as a child, so why would it work for your children? And then... you hear the words your mother or father said fly right out of your mouth! Why does that happen??? You tried SO hard! You read every book. You watched all the Parenting Co...
Ep. 162 Is This Permissive Parenting?
January 30, 2023 18:42 - 8 minutes - 11 MBOh no!!!! Is this PERMISSIVE parenting?!?!? (dun dun DUN!!!!!) 😨 After parents learn about the Purejoy Parenting philosophy, it's pretty common for people to ask... am I just letting my kid do whatever they want? One thing that differentiates Purejoy from other Parenting styles is that the focus is on a level deeper than behavior. 🤔 Who are you without your conditioning? Who is your child? How are you supporting the child you have? Check out this week's episode to discover more!
Ep. 161 Parenting The Child You Have
January 23, 2023 22:52 - 6 minutes - 9.02 MBYou live in a culture that tells you how your children "should be". Through the ages and stages, there is a lot of info that expects your child to measure up. In Purejoy, we go a little deeper by supporting you in looking internally. What need are you trying to meet when you expect your child to act or be a certain way different than they are? In Purejoy we view everyone as deserving love for who they are. Including YOU! Listen to this week's podcast episode, where Leslie shares what s...
Ep. 160 Exploring vs. Explaining
January 16, 2023 20:48 - 5 minutes - 8.17 MBThis week's episode explores the difference between exploring and explaining. Do you find yourself exploring with your child what's going on- their experience, showing up for them to explore their world, how they see things, the conclusions they're coming to, the meanings they're concluding? Or do you explain how the world works, how they're supposed to think, what they're supposed to do, and how they can be 'right' depending on how you experience the world? There is a strong tendency...
Ep. 159 Examining Our Conditioning
January 09, 2023 21:57 - 6 minutes - 8.75 MBAre you a student of Parenting? If you are here, you probably had an inspiration to research "how to parent". Maybe you wanted to do things differently from your parents. Maybe you found that what you were doing was not working. Maybe after all the conscious parenting books, podcasts, lectures... you still perceive that the way you parent isn't "working". Do you hear the internal judgment there? In this week's Parenting Paused podcast, you will explore the secret sauce... kindnes...
Ep. 158 Starting Anew
January 01, 2023 19:28 - 7 minutes - 9.63 MBStarting anew is the focus this week in Purejoy. What does that even mean? How do you enter your days by stepping into the intimacy of the moment? Especially with parenting it often feels easier to fall back on book knowledge and conditioned thinking to guide you forward. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about trusting in your capacity to enter each moment and to parent from your heart. It is a mighty task especially if you were trained to doubt yourself and your wisdom.
Ep. 157 Working With Discomfort
December 26, 2022 19:57 - 7 minutes - 10.4 MBWhat does it mean to be happy? This is the question we are taking a look at in this week’s episode of Parenting Paused. As you wind down the end of 2022 consider- what is your view of what it means to be happy. Often we get locked into happiness being about everything coming easy and comfortable and so then when discomfort arises you wonder, can we truly be happy? Tune into this week’s episode to hear what else might be possible and hear about an opportunity coming right up to suppo...
Ep. 156 How Do You Treat Yourself?
December 19, 2022 20:28 - 6 minutes - 9.55 MBMost parenting advice focuses on the relationship between you and your child. Of course, this makes ALOT of sense! That's why you are here, right? It is so important to you to have a solid parent-child relationship! Have you considered that the 🎁 secret sauce 🎁 to having a loving relationship with your child is having a loving relationship with yourself? Check out this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to find hot more! ...
Ep. 155 Play and Laughter
December 12, 2022 20:24 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBParenting is SERIOUS! Scary, infuriating, and nerve-racking! When you perceive it that way it is easy to focus on the serious side when things feel so, well... SERIOUS!!! However, how do your children respond to your seriousness? Life to them is often playful and filled with delight. What would it be like to speak to them in their high value of play? Listen to this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to discover why play and laughter enhance your relationship with your child.
Ep. 154 Do you feel STUCK?
December 05, 2022 17:54 - 6 minutes - 9.41 MBStuck in the guilt cycle? Stuck feeling annoyed by your child's behavior? Stuck feeling frustrated by your response to your child's behavior? Do you find yourself repeating: "Why is my child so... (lazy, disrespectful, rude, entitled)!?!" OR... "Why can't I get this whole Peaceful Parenting thing RIGHT???" Check out this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to discover a practice that expands how you look at being STUCK and a tool to use to get UNSTUCK.
Ep. 153 Do Your Words Match Your Energy?
November 28, 2022 20:34 - 5 minutes - 8.28 MBHave you ever been so certain that you were communicating to your kids (or partner) in a calm and peaceful manner, just to hear them respond, 💥"Why are you so mad?"💥 Or vice versa, have you ever noticed when your partner or children are having internal experiences that do not match what they are saying? In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, you are invited to explore an awareness practice of paying attention to when your words do not match your energy.
Ep. 152 Get Off the Computer!
November 22, 2022 01:31 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBAs a parent, you probably believe that you must set limits and boundaries on your child in order for them to behave. There IS another WAY! Imagine how it would be to hold a healthy personal boundary in relation to your child. How do you treat yourself when your child doesn't do their homework, won't get off the computer, or won't eat healthy? Check out this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to discover a new definition of boundaries!
Ep. 151 Talk to the Feelings
November 14, 2022 19:35 - 6 minutes - 8.86 MBYour stories are EXCITING! Entertaining! Gripping! But…. are they true? Children, like adults, experience life through the filters of their perception. It is SO important for your children to be heard, but what is more important? Listening to the details of the story? Or listening to the feelings that are being provoked? In this week’s podcast, we explore what it is like to TRULY talk to the feelings that are wrapped in the stories your children weave.
Ep. 150 Owning Your Brilliance
November 07, 2022 17:44 - 6 minutes - 9.51 MBOn last week’s episode, we talked about how what you love in your child you love in yourself, and what you don’t like in your child, you don’t like in yourself. Everyone is pretty familiar with the negative side of this- calling your child lazy, rude, and entitled- is what you hate in yourself. In this week’s episode, Leslie dives into the positive traits, and how you might be taking over the traits you love in your child. See what it might be like to own the qualities you love in yoursel...
Ep. 149 Do You Judge Procrastination?
November 01, 2022 17:01 - 9 minutes - 13.4 MBIn this week's episode, Leslie breaks down how you most likely abandoned certain traits that are a part of your human experience. What happens when you see those abandoned traits in your child? Do you judge them? Act out on them? Tune in to hear more about how to work with that and hear how Leslie learned about being an efficiency expert from her daughter.
Ep. 148 Too Much Connection
October 24, 2022 18:46 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBAre you truly connecting with your child? Or are you engulfing them, projecting your need for connection onto them, during your attempts to connect? In conscious parenting, oftentimes importance is placed on connection with your child. This can feel very enticing for a parent with a void, or an unmet need to feel loved. Then what happens is an “over connection” – basically connecting using your need to connect and feel loved as a guide, without considering the child and their needs ...
Ep. 147 Talk to the Feelings
October 17, 2022 21:09 - 6 minutes - 9.68 MBThis week on Parenting Paused, Leslie shares a saying in the Purejoy view that goes- talk to the feelings, not the story. We live in a culture that values concepts. We have tons of stories about many different things that have happened in our lives, our memories, and what we think is gonna happen in the future. And yet, often those stories are driven by feelings. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how to talk to the feelings and not the story.
Ep. 146 Be Truthful
October 10, 2022 18:52 - 6 minutes - 9.14 MB"Be Kind!" has become a very common phrase. But what does it really mean? The message being sent is really "be NICE" - which is often applied as abandoning yourself to take care of someone else's thoughts and feelings. Tune into this week's podcast to hear Leslie offer an alternative view of kindness that will transform your parenting.
Ep. 145 Why You Self-Aggress
October 03, 2022 18:51 - 6 minutes - 9.68 MBAs a child, when you expressed big desires, you might have been criticized by your caregivers. You likely internalized that critical voice and use it whenever you meet the intensity of your own big desire inside. Tune into this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to deep dive into the origins of your self-aggression and how it shows up in your parenting today.
Ep. 144 Love Them and Set Them Free
September 26, 2022 19:49 - 6 minutes - 8.86 MBYou want your child to be FREE to be fully themselves. That’s what conscious parents are supposed to want, right?! It sounds great… but how does that really look? How can you love your child fully, for who they are, when they are doing things that drive you crazy? …and what about that nagging fear that if you let them fully be free, they might not want a connection with you? That thought can really sting! In this week’s Parenting Paused Podcast episode Leslie Potter breaks down ...
Ep. 143 Freaky Friday
September 19, 2022 10:00 - 6 minutes - 8.73 MBHave you ever had a day that just DID NOT go the way you wished for? Tune into this episode to hear all about Leslie's recent 'Freaky Friday' and how she supported herself to stay in the present moment and choose how she wanted to be with it rather than positioning herself as a victim to some pretty freaky circumstances!
Ep. 142 Taking It Personally
September 12, 2022 10:17 - 7 minutes - 10.3 MBDoes your child always listen to you? Does your child thank you for the meals you prepare? Does your child gladly put their clothes away? Does your child finish all their homework on time and independently? HA! Most parents can't say yes to all those questions and in this week's episode Leslie breaks down how and why kiddos resist and what is going on in the relationship dynamics of parent and child in those moments. Tune in to hear more about how becoming aware of this sup...
Ep. 141 Emotional Blackmail and Healthy Boundaries
September 05, 2022 21:49 - 7 minutes - 10.1 MBLast week we were taking a look at how young conclusions might be showing up in your parenting. Emotional blackmailing is about what happens when you unconsciously, in an attempt to stay safe, use emotionally manipulative tactics to get what you want! Tune into this episode to hear alternatives and what it looks like to set healthy personal boundaries instead. www.purejoyparenting.com/safeseat
Ep. 140 Coming to Conclusions
August 29, 2022 20:42 - 6 minutes - 12.3 MBLast week on Parenting Paused we talked about how the way you were parented has a profound impact on how you now parent, and it may not be obvious the ways. So this week Leslie shares more about why that is- how you came to conclusions when you were young and those conclusions may be at work below the surface of your parenting. Part of becoming the parent you wish to be is to check out those early conclusions and in this episode, you will get support on how to do just that! ...
Ep. 139 How You Were Parented
August 22, 2022 17:51 - 6 minutes - 11.3 MBIn your parenting journey have you ever said something like... I never want to be like my mom... Or I'm going to be just like my dad... One is about doing things differently, the other trying to be the same. And yet both are focused on how YOU were parented, rather than being in a relationship with your child. This happens because how you were parented has a profound impact on how you parent. Tune into this week's podcast with Leslie Potter to hear more about how and why thi...
Ep. 138 The Point of No Return
August 15, 2022 18:00 - 8 minutes - 12.3 MBHave you reached a point of no return in your parenting? You're working so hard, you've tried everything, you can't seem to make any changes and be the parent you want to be and STILL, you find yourself blowing up, acting out, and doing exactly the opposite of what you intend to be. Tune into this week's episode and listen to Leslie break the point of no return for you. www.purejoyparenting.com/safeseat
Ep. 137 I HATE this feeling!
August 08, 2022 23:34 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBIn the Purejoy view, all feelings are welcome! But what about the ones that you HATE? How you organize feelings, ones you like or don't like, is learned. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about this and how feelings drive behavior. www.purejoyparenting.com
Ep. 136 Feeling Stuck, YUCK!
August 01, 2022 13:38 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBHey Mama! Do you ever feel stuck in your parenting? Does your child have behavior that drives you crazy- you want to get rid of it! You've probably tried so many things to get it to stop! Of course, Mama- it can be so intense to stay with the feelings that come up in you- you might find yourself throwing that hot potato right back as we talked about last week. But in this week's episode, Leslie breaks down how to work with that sense of being stuck inside you- so you ca...
Ep. 135 Catching The Hot Potato Feeling
July 25, 2022 13:39 - 8 minutes - 12.4 MBAttunement- a word often used in attachment parenting, or conscious parenting, about tuning into your child's feelings. What is not often talked about is how attuning can often bring up uncomfortable or unresolved feelings inside of you, feelings you have organized your life not to feel. Tune into this week's podcast to hear more about the energy of those feelings and what happens when you catch the emotional hot potato from your child. Get your free five-day SafeSeat Course del...
Ep. 134 Governing Guilt
July 18, 2022 20:51 - 6 minutes - 9.07 MBThis week’s podcast wraps up a 4 part series we’ve been working through over the last few weeks- about The Origins of Mom-guilt! We talked about true cooperation versus demanding compliance, how to be with the heat of rage, and the heaviness of disappointment, and this week we are turning to another feeling that you most likely don’t like! But any time you don’t want to feel a feeling- you have to leave yourself or self-aggress. In the Purejoy view- we see guilt as a refusal to trul...
Ep. 133 Dealing With Disappointment
July 11, 2022 18:47 - 6 minutes - 9.21 MBWe've been working through some of the energetic dynamics that show up in your parenting. Cooperations vs Compliance, the Energetics of Rage, and this week we are going to take a closer look at what happens when you get disappointed in your parenting. You know this, yeah? How you promise you will do better, be better- not yell, or force, that you will get the kids to listen. And then it doesn't happen. Over and over again. Tune into this episode to hear more about how you may be ...
Ep. 132 The Energetics of Rage
July 04, 2022 09:08 - 7 minutes - 10.3 MBRed hot rage! Do you know about this? When you ask your child to do something and they say 'NO'! Whew! It can be so intense to feel anger and rage in the face of your child. And yet that fire is there. You might yell, scream, raise your voice or lash out. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how to work with the energetics of rage in your parenting. www.purejoyparenting.com
Ep. 131 Cooperation or Compliance
June 27, 2022 23:21 - 7 minutes - 10.5 MBMore than likely you want your child to cooperate, yeah? And what happens when they don't? If they say no? Do you get frustrated? Demand? Seek for their compliance? It can be a lot! In this week's episode, Leslie talks about what supports a cooperative spirit in children, and what doesn't. Hear about ways to recognize where you might be holding a hidden agenda, and how to work with what arises in you so that you can find connection and cooperation in the present moment with yo...