ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show
817 episodes - English - Latest episode: 29 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.6K ratingsIs your marriage everything that you want it to be? Are you ready to make a change? Join Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo to create a strong marriage so you can have mind blowing intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. Marriage is not always easy but it's so worth it. Come and make your marriage EXTRAORDINARY!
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Episodes
315: CLEANING UP AFTER SEX
March 15, 2016 07:01 - 31 minutesHave ever noticed that in movies you never see couples cleaning up after sex? Usually this romantic moment has no clean up afterwards. The couple cuddles together as they basks in the afterglow of an amazing sexual moment together. Seems odd... As long as we have been making love, cleaning up after sex has always been a part of the our sexual intimacy. Throughout your marriage cleaning up after sex can be impacted by your current form of birth control, are you trying to conceive a child, or e...
314: STOP HOPING, START DOING
March 08, 2016 08:01 - 31 minutesLack of action, apathy, laziness are marriage killers. In this life you have two options, you are either growing or you’re not. When you wish or hope for change without doing what you need to be doing that’s not growth. That’s being outwardly focused. That’s expecting others to do the changing why you sit back and wait. We've both done this in our marriage over the years. At some point in time you've been frustrated with your marriage. Be it emotionally, financially, sexually, and/or spiritu...
313: PACK THE BOXES, IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON
March 01, 2016 08:01 - 31 minutesMoving is truly one of those events that literally turns everything upside down. You go from being settled and knowing all of your routines to have everything boxed up (both before and after the move) and everything is different. This includes how the two of you act with one another as you prep, box your things, move in day, and afterwards. When it's time to move on for us we sort our things into 3 piles. Donate Get Rid Of (Trash) Take With You Let's look at your marriage from the perspective...
312: WHAT YOUR HUSBAND IS THINKING BEFORE AND DURING SEX
February 23, 2016 08:01 - 32 minutesHave you ever wondered what your husband is thinking before and during sex? It may have crossed your mind from time to time or it's something you haven't even considered. Here's the thing though... Just like you and all you have going on he has thoughts that can hinder him from being fully present with you. We learned this first had as we were in the middle of completing our 8th 7 Days of Sex Challenge. By far one of the toughest we have done. One of the nights we began a conversation have se...
311: JEALOUSY (THE GREEN EYED MONSTER)
February 16, 2016 08:01 - 31 minutesJealousy is destructive to both the one who is being jealous and the one who is receiving it. After 19 years of marriage we've experienced jealousy at different times and over different things. Jealousy can take the form of: interrogations about where someone has been, what they have been doing or who they were with searching through your spouse's phone or through a computer questioning any time that your spouse happens to look at a member of the opposite sex rifling through their bags/suitc...
310: VALENTINE’S DAY, MAKE IT MORE THAN JUST ONE DAY
February 09, 2016 08:01 - 31 minutesDo you remember your first Valentine’s Day together? I do, I was living in the Delta Gamma house at DePauw University and Tony was at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I had sent him a poem I had written and waited all day for my “Valentine”. I couldn’t wait to see what would come. Would Tony surprise me by showing up? Would he come with a ring and a proposal (I can’t even believe I thought that after only 6 months of dating he would, but hey I was dreaming.) Would he even remember? He d...
309: SEX IS NOT A DUTY IT’S A GIFT
February 02, 2016 08:01 - 32 minutesSex is one of the biggest perks of being married and yet so often, relegated to an obligation instead of being the gift it truly should be. Have you ever said (or at least thought) any of the following in regard to sex in your marriage. It’s one more thing I have to do I’m so tired Don’t you ever get enough What about MY needs I could take it or leave it How does sex with your spouse get to this point? There is an anticipation to be sexually intimate at times, but more often than not it's not...
308: TWO BECOME ONE
January 26, 2016 08:01 - 32 minutesTwo become one. You may have heard this when you stood before your pastor as you were about to say "I Do". Since you got married though you feel that the two of you are not united in your marriage. This is showing up in areas ranging from: handling finances dealing with family what’s going on with the kids your sex life having a conversation creating a safe environment, free of judgment or harsh words spending time together and the list goes on You did not get married to do marriage by yourse...
307: STRENGTH TRAINING YOUR MARRIAGE MUSCLES
January 19, 2016 08:01 - 32 minutesStrength training your marriage isn't just about you as an individual. It's about strength training your marriage so that you and your spouse create a healthy, vibrant and growing marriage. The first 11 years of our marriage. we didn’t do much strength training in our marriage. We read a few devotionals, we had done a few small groups at church for married couples, occasionally we went out on date night or got a weekend by ourselves but that was about it. The foundation of our marriage was aw...
306: A GOOD HUSBAND ISN’T SO HARD TO FIND
January 12, 2016 08:01 - 31 minutesHusbands get a bum rap in media, books, movies, tv--out of touch, unfeeling, sexed up, jerks. And yet your husband your husband is a good husband. You may look at yourself and even say that you are a good husband and one that doesn't even compare to how the media portrays you. Your're a husband who does dishes, change diapers, makes dinner and much more. A Husband who rubs your wife's feet, starts a bath plus you join in and sends love letters to your wife throughout the year. Is every husban...
305: TWICE IN ONE DAY (MAKING LOVE THAT IS)
January 05, 2016 08:01 - 31 minutesMaking love to your spouse is one of the most intimate times you two have together. It's a time when everything else falls away while you bask in each others arms. Now when you make love twice in one day that double the pleasure... Well is it? It sure is because it changes things up in your marriage and your sexual intimacy. This brings on a new and fresh perspective that you may have not seen. When you are making love multiple times in a day sexual intimacy becomes a priority as it puts the ...
304: YOUR BEST YEAR EVER
December 29, 2015 08:01 - 33 minutesIt’s that time of year when you are thinking about the New Year and what's ahead for your marriage. You've thought about what happened over this past year and what you want this next year to look like. During this time you may be taking a serious look at your marriage and how you can strengthen each of the six intimacies. Your are counting down to the New Year and wondering how you can make it your best year ever. Starting this year or a new season of your life without a plan means that you a...
303: ARE YOU BEING PRESENT?
December 22, 2015 08:01 - 30 minutesThe presents are wrapped and under the tree, the stockings are hung, the cookies are baked and you’re exhausted. As a couple you find yourselves rushing through life, rushing through your marriage and missing out on being present with your spouse. Here's the thing... There will always be stuff to do in every season of your marriage. There will always be distractions in your life. In our 19 years of marriage we can attest to this. What sets your marriage apart is how you make each other a prio...
302: WHEN DRIFT BEGINS TO HAPPEN
December 15, 2015 08:01 - 32 minutesThis time of year can be challenging for so many marriages. You are trying to hold it together for the family, for the kids, for the holidays and for yourself. Over the last weeks and months you have noticed that you and your spouse have begin to drift. You're living in survival mode, dealing with one thing after the next and yet you were designed to thrive. How did the drift begin in your marriage? For many of us we are TOO busy. There are his schedule, her schedule, the kids’ schedules, vol...
301: THOSE COMPETING VOICES
December 08, 2015 08:01 - 31 minutesWhat you choose to listen to does and will impact the decisions that you make. You have voices that are marriage enriching, which foster your relationship and are strong when the two of you are making time for each other, sharing your lives with each other both emotionally and physically. Then there are those voices encouraging you to be selfish. They begin to get louder when there is a disconnect in your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial intimacies. It gets harder to listen to tho...
300: WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD BE HERE
December 01, 2015 08:01 - 40 minutes"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." —Laozi In your marriage there have been joyous times when you look around and think to yourself, " I never thought I would be here" and tough times when you never thought you would be here. Either way you are here right now. What you choose to do at this time will be instrumental in where you are heading in your marriage journey. What we have enjoyed doing over our 19 years of marriage is to celebrate and remember these times. They ar...
299: YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY DURING THE HOLIDAYS
November 24, 2015 08:01 - 32 minutesYour to-do list is a mile long as the holidays and the end of the year approaches. You have meetings, parties, shopping, last minute errands, cleaning the house, end of the year reports, travel, kids out of school, and more that need to get done. There is so much to do and yet your sexual intimacy gets push aside for this "season", to another day, another week, or maybe you'll wait until next year. Yes you'll celebrate New Year’s together. Hugging, kissing and then starting the new year cuddl...
298: TRULY THANKFUL
November 17, 2015 08:01 - 31 minutesThe word thankful means, "feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative." As a married couple you should take time each day, week, and month to share with your spouse how truly thankful you are for them. For how they have had a positive impact in your life. With the end of the year and the holidays upon you it is a perfect time to share with your spouse why you are truly thankful for them over the past year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about expressing gratitude to your spouse abo...
297: DE-STESS THE HOLIDAYS
November 10, 2015 08:01 - 32 minutesSurprise. Christmas is coming AGAIN this year, in fact it comes every year. Can you believe it? —Said with a little sarcasm. However this is often the sentiment that couples experience when the holidays roll around, every December. Here are a few things that happens during this time of year... lots of activities, parties, concerts, school programs gift exchanges holiday shopping All of these take time and money. From new outfits, a gift to share at a work gift exchange or buying presents for ...
296: YOUR MARRIAGE MANUAL
November 03, 2015 08:01 - 32 minutesMany items that you purchase come with a manual. Your car, your crockpot, the computer, TV, kid's toys and even your mascara has instructions. And yet you and your spouse despite all in all of their complexity do not. You marry someone who is completely unique, who has all kinds of quirks, some of which won’t even come out until you’ve been married for quite awhile. We know because after 19 years of marriage we are still learning about some of them. :) How do you figure out and learn your spo...
295: THE NO REJECTION ZONE
October 27, 2015 07:01 - 33 minutesCreating a no rejection zone in your marriage is vital to creating an environment where both you and your spouse trust one another. Rejection is incredibly destructive. It eats away at a person’s sense of worth, it creates doubt, it destroys the foundation of your marriage. For the first 11 years of our marriage rejection was as common as breathing air. Over the past eight years we have decided that our bedroom is a no rejection zone. In doing so there has been a shift in us and in our marria...
294: YOU HAVE 168 HOURS EACH WEEK
October 20, 2015 07:01 - 32 minutesYou’re busy. There is a lot going on in your life. When you’re dating or even newly married it seems like you have the ability to make the time for one another no matter what. You’ll rearrange your schedule. You’ll say no to other people or activities that would take you away from your love. And then over time... well other things start to fill up that time. The less time you spend engaged in your relationship the more disconnect there is. No matter if you have been married, 3 months or 30 ye...
293: HOLD ON TIGHT
October 13, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesOn October 5th we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary! For our anniversary day we choose to have a date day with a theme...we’ll share this date idea on an upcoming Periscope. Follow us there @oneextraordinary. One part of the date was to go to a local shooting range. It was one of those things that sounded like a good idea until we got there and started going over all of the safety features. There was one moment when Alisa almost said, "Nope, not gonna do it." Fear of the unknown almost ...
292: IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE’VE HAD SEX
October 06, 2015 07:01 - 34 minutesWhen you have said to yourself and/or to your spouse, "It's been too long since we've had sex", then it's time to sit down to figure out what is going on. The topic of sexless marriages is one a lot of people shy away from. Most of the time because if it is not talked about then the problem doesn't exist. Unfortunately, roughly 15% of marriage have not had sex with their spouse in the last six to twelve months, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State...
291: THE MARRIED COUPLES GUIDE TO PMS
September 29, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesPremenstrual syndrome (PMS) is not just about the emotional toll it has, but also the physical impact it has on women. There are many symptoms that can be experienced. Some of these are: feeling tired food cravings trouble with memory joint or muscle pain tension, irritability, mood swings or crying spells PMS can create feelings of disconnect during the month. Leading her to... An unwillingness to be touched. A short "fuse". Roller coaster of emotions. And for him... Not knowing what to do o...
290: GROUNDHOG DAY
September 22, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesRoutine... while is seems easy and comforting at first really and truly leads to boredom. Boredom in your marriage leads to looking for other people or things to break that sense of routine. This boredom if not address can lead to emotional affairs, to physical affairs, to erotica and pornography, to excessive spending, to countless hours lost on social media and most importantly a loss of connection with your spouse. For you this feels like Groundhog Day. The same thing is happening day in a...
289: WALK AROUND NAKED AT HOME
September 15, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesThis show came out of a conversation we had as Tony walked from the master bathroom into our bedroom... naked. It occurred to us that those couples who walk around naked are couples who are vulnerable and comfortable with each other. We realized through this conversation that walking around naked in our own marriage has taken many different forms over the years. There have been different times in our lives when we would walk around naked and other times when we would not. These include: Newly...
288: DISCOVERING YOUR TRUE VALUES
September 08, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesPeople are lost. Marriages are lost. Families are lost. We have become a society, that for the most part, doesn’t plan who or what we stand for. Do you know what your marriage stands for? Every couple and family has their own unique set of characteristics. Whether it's something that they have sat down and consciously decided on OR it's something that they have just "fallen" into. This is their identity. Sometimes those things that you are known for, aren't necessarily positive... that family...
287: THE IMPACT OF TONE AND TIMING
September 01, 2015 08:00 - 31 minutesWhen you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times. You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it. Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around. As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes. Unfortunately, this...
286: SEX IS A PART OF MARRIAGE
August 25, 2015 07:01 - 32 minutesIn your marriage there are six forms of intimacy that build your foundation. Each are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust. And, sexual intimacy is one of them. When your needs or those of your spouse are not being met a few things start to happen… You wonder why you are married in the first place and start thinking about getting out. You begin to get resentful and withdraw from the marriage. You don’t see the harm in look toward other things to fulfill you (po...
285: WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
August 18, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesThere are a lot of distractions in the world… electronics, social media, daily tasks, other people, etc. Because of these distractions it’s easy to lose sight of the gift that you have right in front of your face. The gift of your spouse that God has given to you. You and your spouse spoke a covenant to each other to be together “as long as life shall last.” And yet time goes by and what you once did you no longer do anymore. Saying words of encouragement and complimenting your spouse is vita...
284: COCONUT OIL, VIBRATOR AND THE GAME OF LOVE
August 11, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesYou desire to be sexually intimacy with your spouse and at the same time add some adventure and variety in your bedroom. Where do you start? What do you need? We struggled with this for years in our own marriage. You know how it goes, you do the same things over and over and it can be tough to jump out and try something new. To be honest we tried many ways to do this and have experienced many misses along the way. We weren't going to be stopped though. We desired to make our bedroom a sanctua...
283: THE HAPPINESS MYTH
August 04, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesEveryday there are conversations going on about marriage where someone says... My spouse doesn’t make me happy. I’m not happy in this marriage. Why isn’t my happiness important? The issue many marriages face right now is that of the ME focus. It is common place that there is an expectation that everyone and everything exist for your happiness. This is especially prevalent in the marriage relationship. A shift needs to happen in you for your marriage to thrive. As an individual and part of a m...
282: LOOK UP
July 28, 2015 07:01 - 32 minutesAre you living in your own little bubble with your head down, focused only on yourself, your needs, your wants... And yet your spouse may be there wondering if you even know what’s happening to them, what’s going on at work or at home, or how a recent event has impacted them. You haven't taken time to look up recently and in doing so you've forgotten that you are in a marriage with another person. Your community is being impacted. You have stopped seeing the needs of others are are ONLY focus...
281: CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT
July 21, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesDefeated. Worn out. Frustrated. Any of these and many more emotions can get you to a place where you have told yourself that you can't do anything right. Nope. Nothing. This is a lie and four words that will bankrupt you and your marriage. Before you say these words to yourself make sure you use the "3 P's". Pause. Pray. Proceed. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about getting past a place of disconnection especially when you say, "I can’t do anything right" to yourself and to your spou...
280: THESE WILL FAN THE FLAMES OF YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY
July 14, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesHave you lost the spark, emotional, physical, or sexual, in your marriage? Has the fire you once had burning strong is now a flicker and dimming more and more with every day that passes? If the fire isn’t as hot as you would like it’s time to fan the flames and get it going again. For a fire to burn you need to fan the flames with oxygen, heat and fuel. It's time for you to pour each of these into your marriage and if one of these is missing you will have a difficult time trying to fan the fl...
279: LIVE THIS DECADE WITH PURPOSE
July 07, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesAccording to a 2014 article in The Economist, the average length of marriage in the USA is 8 years. When you factor in that many couples will wait 2-3 years after marriage to have kids you can see that there is a need to better understand the years and decade after having kids. The math from above if it plays out means that many divorces are happening midway through having kids introduced to the marriage. So... ...if this is the case then you need to be equipped and ready for the decade that ...
278: THE SECRET VALUE OF THE QUICKIE
June 30, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesThe quickie can be an amazing sexual experience in your marriage if you know the secret to enjoying it together. In our own marriage, our sex life can be a bit off during the summer months. Different schedules, kids are home, vacations, and just hanging out. This change in seasons can be challenging if you and your spouse don’t discuss what is happening. When expectations are kept to yourself it sets the two of you up for frustration and failure. Not something either of you want. In this week...
277: DRUG OF CHOICE
June 23, 2015 07:01 - 32 minutesWhen you find yourself spending more and more time or being more and more distracted there is something going on. Maybe society wouldn’t call it a drug of choice. Maybe you even joke about “having a little problem”. The truth is that these choices can take you away from your spouse and pull you out of your marriage. You are “busy” and there are many demands on your time and yet you have a choice. Every relationship has it’s issues and there will be times and seasons where you will have to go ...
276: MONEY IN THE BANK
June 16, 2015 07:01 - 32 minutesFinancial stress is an intimacy killer. Plain and simple. It can keep you up at night and it keeps you worrying during the day. It’s hard to let down your guard when you are worried about paying the bills or having food on the table. The fear keeps you and your spouse from living the life, the marriage you were meant to have. Today it's time to make the decision that you are going to tell your money what to do. You are going to live an extraordinary life and it’s starts with making a change t...
275: COMMUNICATION DOESN’T END WITH FOREPLAY
June 09, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesIt starts with the sweet talk. Then it leads to both of you romancing each other all through the day. And then other times you just want a quickie. In all truth there is some form of communication going on between the two of you to get to the point that you are deciding to have sex. Foreplay starts (however short or long) and then it stops... Once you're past that point all there is between the two of you are a few moans or groans and the sigh of "is this over yet". The thing is that communic...
274: IT’S TIME TO TAKE THE LEAD
June 02, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesThere may have been seasons in your marriage when neither one of you stood up to lead the family. You, your spouse and your marriage were like a boat with no rudder, just going around and around in circles trying to get somewhere but going nowhere. The definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If you aren't sure when, why or how to lead your marriage then it's time to begin learning. Your marriage needs leadership. You both have different ...
273: TIME FOR AN OIL CHANGE
May 26, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesYou spend time, effort and energy in maintaining your stuff and yet, you are not giving your marriage that same courtesy. Your expectations for your marriage is so much more. The problem is that you are not giving it the tools that you and your spouse need to be successful. In your life you may see the doctor once a year, go to the dentist for regular cleanings and get the oil changed on your vehicles every 3-5,000 miles. And then there’s your marriage... When was the last time you did some m...
272: WALKING IN THE DOOR
May 19, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesThroughout the day you are transitioning from waking up, heading to work, coming home, going to bed to doing it all over again. The heading out times always seem to be easier, except for you parents of little ones that are leaving for the first time and there is crying to no end. Walking in the door time can be a "witching hour" for you. Whether you’ve been away for a few hours, or a few months or even just locked in your office during the day. Transitioning from your work day and walking in ...
271: RUNNING BELOW EMPTY
May 12, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesThe idea of running below empty is nothing new. What is new is how running below empty is impacting marriages. Possible even having a negative affect on you right now. When you are below empty what suffers the most is not your job or your obligations to others... ...instead what often suffers are your personal relationships. Specifically the one with your spouse. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about when you are running below empty and the impact that doing too much has on your marriag...
270: A TRENCHCOAT AND HIGH HEELS
May 05, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesIt can be hard to step out of your comfort zone, to try something new, to be adventurous. This can be as simple as changing your hair color (Alisa went RED once), to eating at a new restaurant, to wearing new clothes, shoes, or trying a different wardrobe style, to experimenting with a new position sexually or even GASP a new way to initiate. Your mind might be racing with questions, such as: How will I be received? What will he or she think of me? Will I be able to pull this off? What if it ...
269: ABSENCE DOESN’T MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER
April 28, 2015 07:01 - 32 minutesDistance in your marriage can be tough. This can happen in your home or it could be when you and your spouse are miles apart. This can be for work, family illness, deployment, moving to a new city, or any other reason. As much as the old saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, this usually isn't the case. Distance can cause heartache, anxiety, frustration and loneliness. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about ways that you can strengthen your marriage no matter if you're toget...
268: WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS?
April 21, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesYou've decided that it's time. It's time to change because what's been happening isn't what you want to continue doing. You've decided to make some changes. Well... ...your spouse has just noticed that something is up and is asking, "Why are you acting like this?" You know why and yet it's a bit difficult to explain to your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens in your marriage dynamic when you start to work on yourself and your spouse starts wondering why you are...
267: BE PREPARED
April 14, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesPreparation is one of the biggest gifts that you and your spouse can give to each other and your family. And yet it’s hard to think about our own mortality. People often say that it’s the teenagers that think that they are invincible but in reality most of you think you have all the time in the world. Be prepared. When you have a document, Our Family Emergency List, you are setting yourself and your family up for a smoother transition. Not having this type of information prepared and easily a...
266: TAKE HOPE FROM A FANTASY TO A FORCE IN YOUR LIFE
April 07, 2015 07:01 - 31 minutesHope is in short supply in our world. From news reports talking about all of the ugliness to televisions shows that are completed scripted to bring you down. Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage it has been our goal to bring you hope each and every week. Sharing with you how your marriage can not only survive but thrive after challenges as well as for the long haul. Every hug is a story of hope, every picture on the love you guys wall of fame, ALMOST every review on iTunes (there are a few that...