Nerd Poker

Episode 26 - Harrowing Hag Havoc

July 16, 2019 07:12 - 1 hour - 77.7 MB

Beneath the mountains along the coastline on a quest to recover an artifact for their friendly mind flayer acquaintances, the Ice Five have vanquished a bulette but still have a terrifying otherworldly hag to deal with. The battle has now raged long enough for them to consider, oh yeah, SHOULD we be helping MIND FLAYERS? Sarah is back and certainly has some thoughts on the last few major choices the Ice Five have made. But they're in deep now, so hopefully everyone will get to keep their bra...

Episode 25 - Quake Boss

July 10, 2019 06:44 - 59 minutes - 81.9 MB

The battle only gets more intense, and the Ice Five realize how even some dangerous mind flayers could to meet their doom down in this cavern. TikTok (aka Boss) does his best to protect Gus (aka Boss) from the bus-sized beast pinballing around the cavern, but there is more than one horror in the deep. Once again Halcyne is driven by the DM, but Sarah will be back soon.

Episode 24 - Braining Men

July 03, 2019 07:55 - 1 hour - 72.5 MB

Our heroes have hit a crossroads: do the Ice Five continue their journey south towards Dame Island and the mysterious Archmage of Vanzervale, or do they stop for a moment and talk to some seemingly not-that-evil mind flayers? In previous campaigns our cast was likely to murder anyone that looks at them funny, so could they possibly want to stop and commiserate with these incredibly creepy brain devourers? Answer: maybe! Sarah could not make it this episode or next, we beg your forgiveness.

Episode 23 - Unknown Waters

June 26, 2019 06:00 - 1 hour - 73.5 MB

It's been a real tense negotiation with Havoccula, and now the Ice Five hopes to ditch him and come out to the coast to have a few laughs, specifically the coast from the North Sea heading on the outer ridge of the giant comet whirlpool. Their travels could take them past where our first episode found them, only now far down on sea level.

Episode 22 - Turning Gears

June 19, 2019 06:10 - 1 hour - 70.4 MB

The Ice Five have been negotiating with the corrupted dragon known as Havoccula, and so far they seem to go together like peanut butter and bleach. Of course they'd love to just stab him in his gross face, but he has the habit of flying out of stab range and generally appearing far more powerful than our heroes. Will Halcyne's fiery eyes scare him into submission???

Bonus Episode - D&D's The Descent Livestream

June 13, 2019 23:59 - 1 hour - 118 MB

Hey listeners! We wanted to share the audio of Twitch broadcast at the official Dungeons and Dragons event "The Descent," which was of course hell-themed, and our little story takes place between Season 3's Episodes 14 and 15ish. Plus we've got Engineer Sam Keiffer playing along the whole time as Terry! We played a game on live streaming video! This is of course only the audio, so forgive the sight gags the audio quality that comes with video streaming and the ambient sound of convention att...

Episode 21 - Havoccula

June 12, 2019 16:00 - 1 hour - 84.7 MB

It's been a mad dash back to the Time Boat, and now with the entire Ice Five is converging upon the boat in various states of battle damage. Once they're on board, there's a very special visitor who wants to have a word with our heroes.

Episode 20 - Evacuation Plan

June 05, 2019 05:52 - 1 hour - 88.8 MB

Sarah is back, and just in time to steer Halcyne out of the airship wreckage with Dr. Uid and TikTok as all three must decide if it's worth waiting for their pal Queep to set down Dargthur and take turngs flying them down to the Time Boat. More drastic measures may be in order. Something seems to be approaching through the storm clouds, something much bigger than an aarakocra carrying his half-drow friend.

Episode 19 - Dragon Watch

May 29, 2019 03:00 - 1 hour - 87.2 MB

It's time to leave the wreck of the observatory airship, only it's been a little while since the Ice Five visited their pals on the boat, so things might not be exactly the way they were left. No Sarah this episode as she had to call it an early night, but fear not, she'll be back next time in Episode 20!

Episode 18 - Baron Wasteland

May 22, 2019 06:38 - 1 hour - 76.1 MB

It's time to explore the main deck of the scientific observatory that turned into an airship, so you better believe our heroes are hungry for loot and answers. As they approach the very spot they stood at Episode 1 of this Cloddenheim adventure, the odds also increase that they'll stumble upon a frustrating gnomish riddle or two.

Episode 17 - Icy Mists

May 15, 2019 06:37 - 1 hour - 77.9 MB

The battle concludes, with a half-digested Halcyne in the balance, a frozen sea and an TikTok origin story laying ahead of the party to north. Hey, make sure to listen all the way to the end of the episode for more about our upcoming live Twitch event on May 19th! Also "date paste" is a spicy Skittles ingredient.

Episode 16 - Gulp

May 08, 2019 03:00 - 1 hour - 81 MB

Chris Tallman returns, and before the great sea monster battle continues, Dan forces the crew to retroactively name their heroic group for the citizens of Boazor so that they may be remembered. But when the action shifts back, things get dire fast. At least there's gigantic boat weapons to play with!

Episode 15 - Admiral Ahoy

May 01, 2019 05:12 - 1 hour - 78.3 MB

Our heroes having just interrogated the living heck out of Haushinka's the drow, they now sit upon a throne of clues. Is that a thing we just made up, a throne of clues? We'll have to use that in-game at some point. Anyhow, at long last, nautical backstories draw our heroes towards the sea. And sadly yes, Chris Tallman is missing one more time, but worry not! He is back next episode, we've recorded it and everything, his intense sexual energy will flow through our microphones again before yo...

Episode 14 - Fang Gang

April 24, 2019 07:14 - 1 hour - 76.3 MB

We open on our heroes interrogating Haushinka the drow, and leaving few stones unturned. And not to be undone, Sister Briarlock may have one more surprise to reveal about Dr. Uid, and we're not just talking about that "wild magic" stuff normally reserved for sorcerers. Secrets, secrets, secrets! Sadly we are without Chris Tallman and his intense energy both this episode and next (everyone went on Spring Break vacations this April and his was hardest to work around) but we promise more of him...

Episode 13 - Lurue

April 17, 2019 05:24 - 1 hour - 77.8 MB

After having instigated a series of mercenary bribes gone sour, our heroes have a few loose ends to tie up (stab) before they can move on. And if they can, there is a certain temple to visit, and a certain drow friend their who may have regained her faculties by now.

Episode 12 - Golden Stratagem

April 10, 2019 03:58 - 1 hour - 73.2 MB

A despot deposed, our heroes struggle with their newfound responsibility, including whether they should share their newfound glory with the local dregs under Thoggis' employ. TikTok soul-searches himself, and others.

Episode 11 - Thoggis

April 03, 2019 03:59 - 1 hour - 80.2 MB

The most epic battle yet unfolds, and our heroes discover that they have stumbled into the lair of something far more sinister (and gross) than they had originally anticipated. Only luck will allow them to escape with their lives. Sadly Blaine missed out on this episode, but don't worry, he's fine and will be back next episode!

Episode 10 - Hall Raid

March 27, 2019 06:48 - 1 hour - 73.8 MB

A plan is hatched to free the city of Boazor, but funny thing about plans. There is sneaking in the night. Blood is spilled. And, at the end of the episode, Boazor's biggest secret may be revealed.

Episode 9 - Execution O'Clock

March 20, 2019 05:32 - 1 hour - 75.8 MB

Having sent Thoggis a message and declared their opposition to his rule over Boazor, the heroes hide in the alleys contemplating their next move. Everyone could use a rest, but can they find a safe haven after curfew? The quest for a Free Boazor continues.

Episode 8 - Dugthukked

March 13, 2019 05:57 - 1 hour - 74 MB

Dargthur's drinking celebration rained upon, our heroes continue to unleash on Dugthuk the tithe-collecting troll. Queep tests his durability. Halcyne achieves a moral victory. Dr. Uid whips it. TikTok scolds.

Episode 7 - Keg of Whispers

March 06, 2019 06:36 - 1 hour - 74.4 MB

As the crew prepares to breathe the seaside air, they struggle with another one of Dan's damned puzzles. On the other side of a stone door lies Boazar, the home of Dargthur Sturry and his seaside pals, and perhaps oddest of all CIVILIZATION, something that Nerd Poker has had sparse amounts of in the past. Will the citizens all be named after extras in Aquaman? MAYBE.

Episode 6 - Spelunking Bird

February 27, 2019 07:13 - 1 hour - 72.9 MB

Despite not knowing how to speak the language on all the subterranean signs, the party must make some important travel choices as they continue to head west. Luckily they do have many tools at their disposal, like premonitions from a storm god. Also, and this is just a rumor, but it seems that Ken might be a bird.

Episode 5 - Haushinka

February 20, 2019 07:50 - 59 minutes - 68.1 MB

The party continues their bloody battle with the creatures at the icy bend in the path. They seem to be reaching the end of the dwarven city, but even then it is a long road ahead. And sooner or later they're bound to meet another underground traveler... right?

Episode 4 - Frosty Precipice

February 13, 2019 07:01 - 58 minutes - 66.5 MB

Deep in the abandoned dwarven city of Brufvt, our heroes are forced into an icy confrontation. The party gets to know each other better through sourness, battlecries, and madness-inducing flame blades. And don't worry, we haven't forgotten to make Engineer Sam do his recap.

Episode 3 - Tunnel Tenure

February 06, 2019 07:37 - 1 hour - 72.3 MB

Dargthur, the latest goth character creation by Brian Posehn, has helped the party discover a tunnel that they hope will take them to the civilization of the western port city of Boazor. But entering the tunnel isn't as easy as cracking open a dungeoneering kit. There are prices to pay and NPCs to be insulted by.

Episode 2 - Peppergreen

January 30, 2019 06:06 - 1 hour - 91.6 MB

After having their lives thrown into stark relief by a terrible event, our adventurers learn to trust each other as they attempt to free themselves from their temporary prison. The more they escape, the more they learn about the world around them, which means... you guessed it... map time. The Cloddenheim continent's map is chock full of a thousand secrets. Thank you to Shaun Bryant, who went above and beyond illustrating a post-comet world ripe for many, many player notes.

Episode 1 - Cloddenheim

January 23, 2019 08:02 - 59 minutes - 68.3 MB

A group of heroes on the continent of Cloddenheim have been invited to a gathering by an eccentric scientist. A carriage awaits.

Episode 47 - A Swamp Tree

January 16, 2019 05:51 - 1 hour - 106 MB

Time to murder a cosmic horror, as the campaign draws to a close. And stay tuned because there will be no downtime until the next one, we'll see you next week! We will indeed to a live video Q&A, keep your eyes on our Patreon page for details. Thank you to all the artists, voice cameos, and all of you for listening. It's a delight to play D&D and have you as our audience.

Episode 46 - Straddling the Maw

January 09, 2019 08:01 - 59 minutes - 67.7 MB

After taking the holidays to recuperate, we are back with a full cast! Now if only they could all hold onto to their hit points in this epic boss fight. Our heroes continue to hack away at the giant mass of worms that was once the friendly NPC known as Luovyn. Will they put an end to this cosmic interloper before Typha can complete her transformation? That sure seems like it would be ideal!

Episode 45 - Death and Cake

December 19, 2018 05:35 - 1 hour - 73.6 MB

In the rainy streets of Tenchyll, our heroes decide what to do with the cosmic being they've brought back to Earth. Sadly no Chris Tallman, plus Sarah is ill and Brian perhaps even more ill. We start with a Hex Chest giveaway! And we end with Brian going to bed. Happy holidays, everyone!

Episode 44 - Baked Goods

December 12, 2018 08:56 - 1 hour - 73.7 MB

Our heroes are nearly there. The cosmic being known as Jnrei D'Nah is very close.

Episode 43 - Serpent Revival

December 05, 2018 06:40 - 59 minutes - 68.6 MB

It's been a long and difficult path through the prison with lots of death in their wake, but our heroes seem to have stumbled across a lonely prison employee who has unique insight into the situation. The true question: will Bodhi become so enraged that he kills all the NPCs.

Episode 42 - Salute Mi Familia

November 28, 2018 06:28 - 1 hour - 70.6 MB

It's been a long and desperate hike through the prison graveyard, and the army of ghosts is still barrelling down on our heroes. It's going to take desperate measures to change the tide of battle in their favor. Dangerous magic? A dead god? Perhaps a little of both.

Episode 41 - Metal Ghosts

November 21, 2018 06:36 - 1 hour - 72.3 MB

The trek northeast through the monster prison continues, as our crew tries to keep a low profile in the eerily quiet graveyard of Seluna Prison. They stand at the the precipice of some kind of death theater for Baphomet, which is at the very least a nice location to put on a postcard. If they tarry, perhaps a show will get put on in that theater! You're about to find out! Also, with regret we must note that Sarah had to miss this and the next episode due to illness, but she's back swinging i...

Episode 40 - Gilfry or Die

November 14, 2018 06:20 - 1 hour - 81.7 MB

The heroes continue their confrontation with Lord Chasma who, let's face it, might be kind of invincible. Luckily the evil Kenku Gilfry might have decided to help the crew out, and they might be one step closer to the building holding Jnrei D'Nah. Hopefully everyone won't get smeared across a steel dome first.

Episode 39 - Chasma's Wrath

November 07, 2018 06:49 - 1 hour - 72.8 MB

Our heroes have gotten themselves in a bit of a moon-pickle. Pinned against a steel dome, our heroes have no idea how to proceed. But barreling down on them is a floating face that appears to be some kind of fallen god. There's a little crow-man named Torturemaster Gilfry running around screaming, but otherwise things are looking awfully bleak. Perhaps salvation lies somewhere nearby, perhaps far away.

Episode 38 - Crystal Squeeze

October 31, 2018 04:48 - 1 hour - 79 MB

The crew is continuing to hack their way North-East (or whatever up and to the right is on the moon) to break out the cosmic being known as Jnrei D'Nah and stop the moon from crashing into the planet below. But they're starting to realize just how bad an operation this whole moon prison idea was, and how a moon prison riot means there are cosmic beings everywhere. Good luck sleeping after listening to all of this one!

Episode 37 - Pink Ribbons

October 24, 2018 07:12 - 1 hour - 76.4 MB

Our heroes take a quick breather in the lobby of the "God Slayer" building of the old moon prison. And why not take a breather, they've earned it! Unfortunately, their attempts to exit the building may be slowed by the former tenants of the basement, who aren't huge fans of their confinement.

Episode 36 - Mad Dash Through Monsterpalooza

October 17, 2018 03:12 - 1 hour - 69.3 MB

Security was tenuous in the prison of horrors, but after their little nap in the archmage's spare room things have taken a turn for the worst. The goal is now to just get to another building before the group is overwhelmed and the timer on total annihilation ticks all the way down. Also, some real-world sips of moonshine are taken in honor of the moon mayhem.

Episode 35 - Harmless Blessing

October 10, 2018 04:43 - 1 hour - 71.2 MB

Finally, someone at this crazy moon prison is willing to dish some moon prison gossip! All our heroes had to do was get real cozy with a mysterious cosmic being! There's monsters everywhere biting guards in half! Everything is going great!

Episode 34 - The Wrong Sky

October 03, 2018 02:55 - 1 hour - 77.6 MB

Our adventure has taken us through another dimension (another dimension, another dimension) and through a gross fungal thread leading into the sky. So far things on the other end of that thread have been eerily similar to a regular old dungeon. But it's about time Bodhi, Twee, Tom Netty, Esmerelda, Typha, and their wee lil' hostage went for a walk outside.

Episode 33 - Moon Prison

September 26, 2018 05:53 - 1 hour - 85.3 MB

Okay, did everyone take bets on whether this campaign would end up in a monster prison on the moon? Well get your wallets out because somewhere out there we have a winner. Our heroes have managed to overtake a small handful of guards, and now it's time to start planning a prison break for their cosmic pen pal Jnrei D'Nah. Unfortunately there appears to be a monster riot in the monster prison. Whoops.

Episode 32 - The Flip Side

September 19, 2018 05:07 - 1 hour - 70.6 MB

Our heroes have now seen the power of the Theater of Reflection, Tom Doretto now having completely transformed forever into Netty. The big question is: will anyone else dare try? Regardless, they are about to get flipped on their heads if they succeed in riding this magical tendril up to the moon. What arcane horrors will they find THERE?!?

Episode 31 - Ride or Die

September 12, 2018 05:57 - 59 minutes - 68.5 MB

The time has come for Esmerelda to get in touch with that worm she swallowed way back in Episode 19, and another one of our heroes will resolve a promise they've been hanging onto for over 70 episodes.

Episode 30 - Don't Get Mad

September 05, 2018 06:43 - 1 hour - 92.7 MB

It's time to head to the moon, but first the wizard Gendy has to take a crash course in trust and learn about all the messed up stuff that the party has done to get this far. Turns out there's an elephant in the room- an evil god's cloak in Tom's backpack. Hopefully taking that cloak right to the evil god isn't a big deal!

Episode 29 - Run Cook Run

August 29, 2018 03:58 - 1 hour - 79.1 MB

First things first, this episode we welcome Chris Tallman as a regular guest and set aside the guest formalities. Then we immediately try to kill his character as she flees thousands of kobolds and increasingly complex tiers of elite dragon forces. Her only hope, a small hut on the other side of a small portal. Also a very special thanks to someone who provided a pre-recorded tiny cameo this week, the details of which are a surprise we do not want to spoil in the description. Listen and lear...

Episode 28 - Churn Worms

August 22, 2018 07:50 - 1 hour - 74 MB

The battlefield is only getting uglier as medium-sized serpent-dragons of the black chromatic variety start tunneling under the battlefield Tremors-style and swallowing horses. Orcs and kobolds pile onto our heroes in layer after layer. The gigantic dragon Storndor lands, and whoops, his armor class is higher than 20. Twee's quest to open a portal is being carefully timed, but will it even out as the battle gets bloodier? Will the crew resort to desperate measures? We welcome back Chris Tall...

Episode 27 - Black Chromatic Army

August 15, 2018 15:20 - 1 hour - 71.4 MB

Hello dear listeners! We are sad to be without Blaine this week and next, but excited to welcome back Chris Tallman who will be taking on the role of Typha. And it's a real tough spot the crew is in. Up against a cliffside and hurrying from one town to another, a devastating force of thousands of kobolds, orcs, and wyrms wants to have a word with them. Special thanks to Hal Lublin for the voice of the orc general, and additional apologies from Dan for the bad Blaine commercials.

Episode 26 - Cosmic Crunk

August 08, 2018 13:57 - 1 hour - 64.8 MB

If you enjoyed Twee's drug trip to outer space last episode, the whole crew is now focused on getting to this strange being in the sky and figuring out how to stop the moon she's on from crashing. But no quest has ever challenged our party quite the way that "retrieving horses they already own" does. Special thanks to artist Dani Hartel for her drawing of Jnrei D'Nah, which thoroughly spooks the party this episode!

Episode 25 - Jnrei D'Nah

August 01, 2018 14:19 - 1 hour - 72.3 MB

Time to do some drugs and meet a cosmic trickster. It's Episode 25, you guys!

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