Nerd Poker

S5E36 Names of Legend

April 11, 2023 22:24 - 56 minutes - 128 MB

The crew just left an elevator filled with acid, so things are probably going to get super cheery and tidy now! And, finally, the fearless leader of the group names the crew. Just in time! There's some coffins to root around in a musty inter-dimensional tomb.

S5E35 Evilator

April 04, 2023 19:02 - 1 hour - 138 MB

The torture room cleared (except for the huge gruesome mess) our heroes arrive inside some sort of evil elevator. That's right- an evilator! Do they use that word within the episode? No. But all like to have fun around here. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E34 Stairwell to Lich Hell

March 28, 2023 16:58 - 57 minutes - 131 MB

The big beefy demon dude with a plate of iron nailed to his face has tumbled into a corner of a stairwell and it's getting pretty dicey to just stand around in that stairwell. What lies on the other side of the door at the bottom is what comes next, and yeah, it's probably gonna be a mean trap that everyone saw coming but almost kills them anyway.

S5E33 Nailface

March 21, 2023 05:15 - 58 minutes - 133 MB

The big disgusting bad guy is no match for a bunch of heroes who like to pin big bad disgusting bad guys into a corner! Also there's 4-5 NPCs around now, which feels pretty cozy! May the only blood spilt be that of evil, and what everyone decides to dump on the floor because they saw it on a torture table and it freaked them out. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpok...

S5E32 Torture Chamber Chaos

March 14, 2023 05:22 - 54 minutes - 125 MB

The group enters a room where the NPCs go bonkers, more NPCs are discovered, and they all go bonkers too. Time to light it all up! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E31 The Verdant Swirly

March 07, 2023 03:25 - 59 minutes - 136 MB

We left our last episode on a cliffhanger- will Queep and Friar Jolly survive the low roll in the swirling green magic tunnel?! Well, Dan kind of cut Ken off so, Ken might actually have a plan. Also first we have to get to a particularly ribald round of listener thanks with a special visit from Billy. We missed you Chris! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E30 Hell Delving

February 28, 2023 04:58 - 1 hour - 139 MB

No big deal, just an extremely haunted library to get through, and then our intrepid heroes can descend into the horrors beneath the royal keep. Though all the NPCs are still alive, shocking as that may be, between the four of them only one of them isn't one foot in the grave. Pretty much everyone has been maimed at one point or another. And things are only just starting to get risky.

S5E29 Jolly Return

February 21, 2023 07:25 - 1 hour - 144 MB

Chris Tallman is back! Ken is too! The full crew is faced with the prospect of fixing an undead Bunk, who may or may not be in the process of being posessed by the archlich. And, well, leave it to our crew to take a morbid DM choice and basically dare the DM to do it.

S5E28 Death Fissure

February 14, 2023 22:12 - 1 hour - 145 MB

Sometimes you just gotta make a giant murder worm explode. Sure there was collateral damage and the room is a pile of rubble, but nobody probably heard anything. Let's just get everyone... mostly patched up and march boldly forth to the north! Sorry no Ken or Chris- Chris will be back soon, and Ken had a last minute thing! We tried to snag everyone, and will ASAP. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to o...

Sick Week Apologies

February 07, 2023 16:23 - 2 minutes - 4.56 MB

Sadly there's no new episode this week, but we are recording and will have it next time!

S5E27 Walloped Warriors

January 31, 2023 15:21 - 1 hour - 138 MB

What's a purple worm fight without a massacre? Well, we sure don't know. Everyone is in pieces and its time to see who can be put back together and who is gonna end up all Humpty Dumpty and shattered on the castle floor. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E26 Now With Austin Powers

January 24, 2023 02:03 - 53 minutes - 121 MB

Things get bleak when it comes to worm murder, and so the riffs get as weird as humanly possible. Sadly no Chris Tallman for a few episodes, but he is doing well and we he'll be back ASAP. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E25 What a Wormhole

January 17, 2023 07:56 - 58 minutes - 135 MB

Well, it was bound to happen. A gigantic classic monster exploded up from beneath the royal hall, and is taking chomps from our heroes. As long as everyone rolls well this should all be fine. Right? For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E24 What Once Was Royal

January 10, 2023 02:04 - 58 minutes - 135 MB

The path cleared, the crew must now crack open the doors to the royal hall, which appear to have been overgrown with magic vines for years, if not decades. It feels pretty unfun, because even though two of our heroes can speak to magic plants, there's probably some other horror waiting on the other side of these doors, because the DM is a dick. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patre...

S5E23 Getting So Thorny

January 03, 2023 15:33 - 1 hour - 151 MB

The royal hall of the lich king is buried in thorns, brambles, and branches. Luckily two of our crew are experienced at dealing with flora, Dr. Uid of course, but also newcomer (and huge fan of Dr. Drew Hugh Uid) Winifred Wintergem. As long as the plant isn't terrifying this should be no problem at all!

Merry Holiday Message!

December 27, 2022 14:15 - 59 seconds - 2.22 MB

A brief message from us to you, the people who make our dreams come true! Look, it's a song! Patreon supporters- our Decemebr bonus eps are still on the way!

S5E22 Sleigh Ride (Plus Monster Murder)

December 20, 2022 21:33 - 52 minutes - 119 MB

After an official, heavily rehearsed Christmas Carol, our crew just might focus enough to take down the gigantic gelantinous cube and the clutch of will-o-wisps. Will they save the mysterious wizard, or will they kinda forget he's there and let him get annihilated? Hell, maybe they will straight up forget they're in combat and do impressions the whole episode. Guess and take bets. and Happy Holidays dear listeners! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And...

S5E21 Gleaming the Lube

December 13, 2022 05:18 - 57 minutes - 131 MB

If you've ever wanted to imagine a monk punching acidic jelly, well then today is your day! The battle with the gelatinous cube continues, and hopefully Dan will get to live out his dream of seeing one of his friends' characters get dissolved slowly in suspended animation!

S5E20 Multiple But Limited Doors

December 06, 2022 02:06 - 1 hour - 140 MB

Back to the action! It's time to raid the Royal Hall, which is bound to have more activity within than some of the patrol hallways. And that means the real dungeon crawl is beginning in earnest! Hopefully nobody will already get dissolved!

S5E19 TEN YEAR CELEBRATION! (with surprise Gerry Duggan)

November 29, 2022 06:41 - 1 hour - 138 MB

Nerd Poker is turning 10 years old! And Dan has something sneaky up his sleeve to surprise the rest of the cast, but you get to know before you listen. Gerry shows up, and we all sip wine and Scotch while goofing off, talking about old games, doing bits way off the rails, and generally being dumb.

S5E18 The Royal Hall Looms

November 22, 2022 18:31 - 58 minutes - 133 MB

Our crew has gotten through swarms of harpies, retinues of soldiers, and spooky ancient traps. Now ahead we see the royal hall, the vile archlich king somewhere in its subterannean chambers. Time to rest and make a terrible mistake? Did someone just eat a Mexican pizza? We shall see! Happy Thanksgiving, listeners! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E17 Free the Portcullis

November 15, 2022 03:47 - 1 hour - 140 MB

If progress is to be made towards the lich's keep, first this small sample of his army must be dealt with. And if you're looking for some classic decaptitations, boy do we have an episode for you!

S5E16 Lever Fever

November 08, 2022 08:39 - 1 hour - 144 MB

Oh great, they finally found the undead army patrolling the castle. All that stands between our crew and progress are iron portcullises and a inconvenient levers, why'd some dumb evil elves have to mess with us?

S5E15 Robbing The Evil Dead Person

November 01, 2022 06:17 - 53 minutes - 122 MB

There's a lich imprisoned up in the turret, and our crew is still deciding what to do with him exactly. Rob him though? Absolutely. What crew do you think we're talking about anyway?! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E14 Up The Turret

October 25, 2022 15:41 - 58 minutes - 80.6 MB

Our heroes have hit a bit of an impasse, a giant iron portcullis before them. There's this totally chill, probably not trapped or haunted turret sitting right there, so why not walk up there? What's the worst that could happen? For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E13 Ditchin the Kitchen

October 18, 2022 07:51 - 1 hour - 84.6 MB

After finding some elves unstuck in time, our heroes attempt to escape the abandoned kitchen and catch up with Bunk the halfling, somewhere in a hallway probably not infected with magic pink mold. Probably. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E12 Eerie Shortcuts

October 11, 2022 07:20 - 59 minutes - 82 MB

Realizing it's in their best interest to keep a low profile, our crew sneaks through the castle-city's walls, the undead army's ranks mostly missing as they spread throughout the realm in search of other heroes. Surely, sneaking through a largely abandoned undead army wall won't include any untoward surprises! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E11 Halls of Horror

October 04, 2022 06:13 - 1 hour - 84.5 MB

As the crew ventures into the outer walls of Vyndarea they begin to realize how old (and weird) the denizens are. But when in doubt, set it all on fire. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

One More Apology - Episode Next Week!

September 27, 2022 03:21 - 3 minutes - 7.89 MB

Thank you for your understanding, everyone! Here Dan explains what's up! New episode next week, and all three bonus episodes still delivering on time.

An Apology - No Episode

September 20, 2022 02:05 - 1 minute - 1.38 MB

Sorry everyone! We had an emergency disrupt a recording session and couldn't get together in time. We will be back soon, and not miss any bonus episodes.

S5E10 Into the Castle

September 13, 2022 02:20 - 54 minutes - 75.2 MB

The massive city-castle looming large, our heroes approach from the cliffside. What Telfer-esque horrors loom inside? Probably something with too many fingers that breathes magma. Listen, and find out! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E9 Behind the Door

September 06, 2022 05:59 - 56 minutes - 78.2 MB

It's time to loot the harpy cave! Our intrepid crew has slunk up to a mysterious door, the sounds of soft breathing on the other side. What horrors might lie on the other side? Well we can promise you one thing: there is ZERO chance you will see this one coming.

S5E8 Inner Cliff Ascent

August 30, 2022 06:10 - 55 minutes - 76.5 MB

The heroes clean up the harpy mess, we swear, and begin to explore the chambers before them, the vile castle looming large above. Hopefully Bunk doesn't get himself murdered by teleporting into a harpy pile again. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E7 Deadly Stink Cloud

August 23, 2022 01:09 - 57 minutes - 79.1 MB

Our heroes pull out all the stops in their first battle- silver flames are summoned and magical songs are sung, while arm blades slash, axes fly, and Dr. Uid's forehead vein pulses. But the gravity of the situation is suddenly clear as a filth cloud threatens to take down everyone, even though they've just met. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E6 Feathery Fury

August 16, 2022 16:08 - 1 hour - 82.5 MB

Looks like the first fight of the campaign is a bloody one, as dozens of harpies begin to dogpile our heroes and the hit points begin to disappear. Hopefully everyone has the stamina, and the level 8 powers, that they need to make it out alive. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E5 Kill The Eyeless Murderers

August 09, 2022 01:52 - 1 hour - 88.5 MB

Looks like the cave has all those eyeless owl harpies you ordered! After deftly disarming a trap and interrogating a corpse, it's time to test our heroes' mettle in combat! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E4 Silent Flying Death

August 02, 2022 04:52 - 56 minutes - 77.4 MB

As our crew commits to travelling through the caves, the harpy encounter is imminent. Hopefully Ronnie is used to his role as "leader" because his friends will need his help if they want to avoid becoming the food of eyeless barn owl creatures. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E3 The Mists Beneath The Cliffs

July 26, 2022 07:03 - 59 minutes - 82.2 MB

Our wary party has begun their trek into the misty caves, and it's not long before things get super creepy. Sadly the entire boat full of heroes isn't along for the dungeon crawl together, but we get a chance to get to know everyone, even Bunk the Donkeyland halfling, a little bit better. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

S5E2 Spectral Exam

July 18, 2022 23:24 - 56 minutes - 77.8 MB

They haven't even been dropped off at the main quest yet, and already our crew is getting into spectral boat related mayhem, and confusing NPCs who may or may not want to join the party. It remains to be seen whether the party will make it into the dungeon! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

S5E1 Vyndarea

July 12, 2022 03:36 - 1 hour - 87.1 MB

It's time to meet a brand new cast of characters, as the season begins on a boat piloted by a drunken fairy named Goggo, as it heads to an evil castle. The dreaded king and archlich Vallux lies within, and it's up to a very ragtag and boisterous crew to stop him! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

S5E0 Session Zero

July 05, 2022 05:17 - 1 hour - 93.8 MB

Before every campaign, there is planning! And we thought that this time we'd let listeners be privvy to all of it. Enjoy hanging out with all of us as we contemplate whether to create new characters, bring back old ones, or create a spin that ties both together (which is what one of us does). Soon these five folks will delve into the dark castle of Vyndairea, solving puzzles and slaying evil beings in the hopes of slaying an archlich. We're excited to be back! For merch, social media, and ...

Season Five Trailer!

June 28, 2022 21:53 - 5 minutes - 7.83 MB

Dan checks in with everyone to let them know a new adventure starts very soon, but you can catch up on a bazillion exclusive adventures over on patreon.com/nerdpoker. Listen all the way through for some hints of what Season 5 has in store!

Minotaur Heist with Kevin Sussman

June 21, 2022 15:45 - 1 hour - 155 MB

Behold! Whilst we get ready for Season 5, enjoy this early 2020 bonus episode straight from Brian's house! Kevin Sussman from The Big Bang Theory comes by and takes our crew on one of their more... chaotic adventures. We hope you can come support us on www.patreon.com/nerdpoker and help keep this podcast alive!

S4E92 Cabal Room Blitz

June 14, 2022 06:24 - 54 minutes - 74.4 MB

The battle peaks. Lives in the balance. A small being's silhouette sits upon the steering wheel of a ship.

S4E91 Demon Death

June 07, 2022 04:45 - 53 minutes - 73 MB

The vampire who has cornered the cuties seems to have summoned his greatest monster, a shadowy demon that now sucks life from the cuties one by one. Also this is a morning recording on a Monday, enjoy the odd change in tone! We're more awake and yet somehow more weary at the same time.

Episodes

Guests