Love Over Addiction
320 episodes - English - Latest episode: 22 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.4K ratingsJoin host Michelle Anderson as she discusses life while loving someone struggling with addiction. The goal of each episode is to leave you with encouragement, hope, and some laughs while you navigate the heartbreaking and rewarding relationship of loving someone with substance use disorder. If you're exhausted from trying to help, lonely, and unsure what to do next - you've come to the right place.
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Episodes
Warning Signs That Our Self-Care Isn’t Healthy
September 30, 2018 09:00 - 14 minutes - 26.9 MBWe’re smart enough to understand the benefits of self-care, right, especially when we love someone who suffers from any kind of addiction. And if you’re new to the subject of self-care a great place to start is by listening to episode #96: https://loveoveraddiction.com/96/ or reading the 7 Most Important Questions You Need To Ask Yourself: https://loveoveraddiction.com/79. Sometimes the most caring thing we can do for ourselves is spend less and simplify our days. Self-care is a good t...
Encore: Struggling With Anger? This Will Help
September 23, 2018 09:00 - 15 minutes - 29 MBAnger…. It’s an emotion women don’t like to discuss. But it’s a very REAL and HONEST feeling when addiction is a part of your family - and we always believe in speaking truth - even when it prickles a little. Loving someone who suffers from alcoholism or addiction is hard. Period. And you’re allowed to ride the roller coaster of emotions without apologies. If you feel angry sometimes - no shame sister. WELCOME TO THE CLUB! Now head over to LoveOverAddiction.com and get 5 helpful tips to...
He Got Sober
September 16, 2018 09:00 - 53 minutes - 97.1 MBHave you ever dreamed of the day your loved one finally gets sober? I think most of us can raise our hand. For many women in our community, this dream has come true, and today we get to talk to one of them. She was just like us, worrying about her future and feeling guilty that she may have made the wrong decision by marrying a man with a drinking history. She even talks about having thoughts of taking her own life because of the way addiction was making her feel. Make no mist...
How To Help Your Children Heal From the Trauma of Addiction
September 09, 2018 09:00 - 51 minutes - 70.2 MBIf you’re worried that your kids are suffering from the natural trauma that comes from loving someone suffering from addiction, my interview with Dr. Gowda (who has the most impressive resume and is a child psychologist) teaches us how we can help our children develop into healthy, well- adjusted and successful adults. When children are raised in a household with addiction, there are certain things we, as mothers, need to be aware of. We're their biggest advocate. We need to learn how to f...
Communicate Without Talking (this is not as weird as it sounds)
September 02, 2018 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19.4 MBWhen our loved one who's suffering from addiction treats us poorly by drinking after they promised not to, or using drugs when they JUST said this time they were getting sober for good, it can make us want to lash out, get defensive, or become unglued. It’s true! No one wants to admit that women can get angry, but this disease makes us feel that way. Anger is part of the package—let’s just be real. So how do we respond in a way that best serves us? Today on LoveOverAddiction.com, I’m s...
3 Tips for Communicating Boundaries To Your Partner Suffering From Addiction
August 26, 2018 09:00 - 11 minutes - 20.6 MBEvery woman walking this earth should know her boundaries and understand how to enforce them because boundaries make us strong, powerful, and respected. This is imperative when you love someone suffering from any kind of addiction: alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription pills, pornography, or sex, among other things. But many of us get this very necessary skill wrong. Today on the Love Over Addiction Podcast, you’ll learn 3 tips for communicating boundaries. Check out these highlights fro...
Uncovering The Truth About Enforcing Boundaries & Addiction
August 05, 2018 09:00 - 19 minutes - 35.2 MBOn this week’s episode, Michelle shares two very personal stories about boundaries. And if you’ve been a part of our community for some time, you know boundaries are a necessary skill for every single woman on this planet, especially when you love someone suffering from any kind of addiction: alcohol, drugs (illegal or prescribed), gambling, pornography, or sex among other things. Here’s a sneak peek into the episode: How can you appropriately enforce boundaries in any circumstance? W...
How To Find Compassion For Your Loved One Who Suffers From Addiction
July 29, 2018 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19 MBWould you say that you struggle with resentment while loving someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction? In this episode, Michelle will teach you how to let go of the anger and resentment and tap into compassion. Here are a few key points from the episode: Are your expectations in line with reality? Are you trying to do their work instead of your own? Have you tried putting yourself in your loved one’s shoes? Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/06/how-to-f...
Financial Advice Every Woman Needs To Know When You Love Someone With Addiction
July 22, 2018 09:00 - 53 minutes - 97.5 MBMichelle had the pleasure of interviewing financial expert and President & CEO of Francis Financial, Stacy Francis. She's a financial expert that specializes in working with women that love someone suffering from addiction. You can start making changes today in order to protect yourself, regardless of what stage of the relationship you're in. Here’s a sneak peek at what you’ll hear in the interview: What does it mean to be financially independent? What is financial abuse? What steps ...
Tips From A Divorce Lawyer If You Are Leaving Or Staying With Your Partner Who Suffers From Addiction
July 15, 2018 09:00 - 51 minutes - 94.4 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction, any kind of addiction like alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription pills, gambling, pornography, or sex, among others, it's important to know your options. You deserve to be educated and be able to protect yourself in any situation. Today we interview matrimonial lawyer Kara Bellew to discuss what the divorce process looks like. Even if you’re choosing to stay and have no plans on leaving the one you love, we encourage you to listen to this epi...
Stay Quiet or Speak Up? How To Make The Right Choice When Dealing with Addiction
July 08, 2018 09:00 - 21 minutes - 40.1 MBKnowing when to stay quiet or speak up when you love someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction takes practice. Today Michelle is going to teach you when keeping quiet is your best choice. Here are some of the topics we cover in this episode: Does nagging work? Should I wait until they're sober to speak to them? How should I handle an abusive situation? Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/stay-quiet-or-speak-up-how-to-make-the-right-choice-when-dealing-with-a...
Why We're Changing The Name Of The Podcast
July 01, 2018 09:00 - 8 minutes - 15.5 MBWife of an Alcoholic is now The Love Over Addiction Podcast. In today’s episode, Michelle explains the reasons behind the change and what it means for the future of the podcast. “If we start with love for ourselves and learn how to nurture our bodies, minds, and spirits, we will be able to offer that kind of love to others.” Read our blog at:https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/07/changing-the-name-podcast/ Learn more about the Love Over Addiction program at: http://theloveoverway.com/pr...
The Secret to Loving Yourself
June 24, 2018 09:00 - 15 minutes - 28.4 MBFor those of you who have been following my blog or listening to The Wife of an Alcoholic Podcast, you know that I used to do yoga on a pretty regular basis. I had just turned 40, I was feeling tired of my exercise routine, and I needed something that was a lot more gentle and a lot more reflective. I was also in a difficult spot physically. But I was really into yoga and loving it, and then Hurricane Irma came. We evacuated our house and couldn’t get back in for over a week, so my exerc...
The Most Empowering Daily Practice To Heal Ourselves
June 17, 2018 09:00 - 10 minutes - 18.7 MBI want to talk to you today about the importance of grace. Grace is my new favorite word. I think it's going to be my keyword for 2018. This community attracts women who are very ambitious. A lot of people in the world are not, and they like to sit in their pain, and they like to stay comfortable. The women in our community tend to be thirsty for somebody to explain to them exactly what to do. And that's what we do here. These women say, “Give me the top five steps, and I’m going to ...
If You're Thinking About Leaving
June 10, 2018 09:00 - 22 minutes - 41.8 MBAre you scared of leaving the one you love? Have you thought about it, but the idea almost paralyzes you with fear, so you immediately stop thinking about it? There's just no possible way that you will ever leave. What if you're one of the members of our community who is in the middle of leaving, you're planning your separation or your divorce, or maybe you’ve already filed for divorce, and you're in the process of working out the details? When I chose to leave my husband who suffers f...
Suffering From Anxiety and Depression? THIS Can Help.
June 03, 2018 09:00 - 11 minutes - 20.6 MBMost of you know that I was married to a wonderful man. He was super talented, really good looking, and funny to the core. He was much smarter than I was. And he had so many gifts. I really struggled because I was madly in love with him and tried everything I could to help get him sober. Of course, none of it worked which is the sad truth about loving somebody with addiction. But during our marriage, I found myself very depressed. Before our wedding day, I was a very bubbly, very confide...
You Need THIS in Your Life
May 27, 2018 09:00 - 11 minutes - 21.4 MBI’ve been thinking about how important humor is when we’re in the midst of living life while loving someone who struggles with addiction. So I was thinking about some of the funniest women I know. One of those women is an author named Jen Hatmaker. She has her own podcast, too. I am in love with this woman. She came out with a book that really changed my perspective on the importance of friendship. It is called For the Love. I was thinking about her because I recently went hear her speak...
The Shocking Truth About The $35 Billion Rehab Industry
May 25, 2018 09:00 - 53 minutes - 98.6 MBGreg Horvath resides in Los Angeles, CA, and is a nationally respected motivational speaker, author and producer. For 15 years he's traveled the globe sharing his story of perseverance and overcoming adversity. He views the world through the lens that anyone can build a life they are proud to lead. Because of Greg's incredible story of overcoming adversity to play college football at age 38, (click here for more info) and his passion to share it, he has become a much sought after motivatio...
Is it Okay to Drink Around Your Alcoholic?
May 20, 2018 09:00 - 22 minutes - 40.8 MBA while ago, I started practicing yoga. I found it incredibly therapeutic and very nurturing. It didn't help me with weight loss, but it did help me take a much-needed timeout from the craziness of the day to center myself. And I loved the way my body felt strong and flexible. I was coming out of my yoga class one day, and I saw a T-shirt that said “namasté and rosé.” I looked at it, and I thought, “Hmm, interesting.” I’m practicing yoga because I want to cleanse my body. I do hot yoga...
Signs that You're in an Abusive Relationship
May 13, 2018 09:00 - 25 minutes - 46.9 MBThe Harvey Weinstein case came about several months ago, and one of the women in our community and I were talking about it. She said, “You know, Michelle, I feel like this is an opportunity for us to address such a common problem.” I have a done a lot of research to prepare for this post because I take this topic very seriously. Did you know that abuse thrives in isolation and that 50% of men in recovery admit that they have been physically abusive to their partner or spouse? And my gues...
The Most Important Advice About YOUR Recovery
May 06, 2018 09:00 - 24 minutes - 45.3 MBIsn’t it frustrating when you love somebody who seems so out of control and you don’t know how to help? Your heart hurts for them. They are hurting your heart, and you just need help. I remember being that woman and loving a very good man who was so full of potential. He was very good looking, super popular, and could do calculus in ninth grade as well as write poetry. He was the full package. And he was funny. We met in high school, reconnected later on, fell in love, and had three wond...
When Addiction is Preventing You From Feeling Loved
April 29, 2018 09:00 - 32 minutes - 59.5 MBAddiction thrives on the fact that it can mess with our minds. We get confused and feel guilty when our expectations are not met by our partner, particularly when we love a good man or a good woman who’s suffering from this disease. We start to think, “Is what I’m asking for too much? Are my expectations too high? Is what I’m craving something normal, or should I not be asking so much from my partner?” The four basic needs of a relationship involve love, attention, affection, and help ...
3 Benefits of Separation
April 22, 2018 09:00 - 32 minutes - 60 MBDeciding whether to stay or leave is an extremely common topic in our community. You can’t blame us, right? We long for the day addiction will let go of the one we love so dearly, but we’re not sure how much more we can take. Today I want to tell you about a tool that is available to you, but it’s not brought up often. This tool is a wonderful way to help you determine what you want for your future, and it’s called separation. I’m not going to tell you that you should leave, and I’m not ...
Detaching Without Frustration
April 15, 2018 09:00 - 14 minutes - 27.3 MBDetaching is a big buzzword in the recovery community. I hear a lot from the women in our secret Facebook group that detaching with love is almost impossible because it requires you to remove your emotions from the situation and from the outcome. So, let’s say your loved one starts making bad choices by having a few drinks. Your instant reaction is to get upset and to feel like you’ve been punched in the gut again because they lied. They said they were going to get better. They said they w...
When Addiction Bullies You
April 08, 2018 09:00 - 24 minutes - 45.4 MBI’m a big fan of Brené Brown. In one of her books, she talks about being vulnerable, and she has a rule that I’m about to break. The rule is that you don’t speak of the things you are vulnerable about in public until you’ve actually worked through them and given them space to heal. I think that’s wonderful advice. I’m a big believer in that. But I’m going to break that rule because I feel such a sense of urgency to share with you what’s going on with me. I think it’s what’s going on with...
How to Stop Feeling Crazy
April 01, 2018 09:00 - 14 minutes - 27.4 MBWe offer a secret Facebook group for women who have joined one of our programs. It's filled with over 1,000 women from over 132 different countries around the world. The Facebook group is a wonderful tool, and I love popping in there and seeing what you are all talking about and how you are all encouraging each other. But there is something that is disturbing me. And I’m going to be real and honest with you today. I used to do this, too, so there’s no judgment. We are using the word “c...
Worried Things Will Never Get Better? This Will Help.
March 25, 2018 14:00 - 8 minutes - 15.2 MBIf you love someone suffering from addiction, you might feel like you're on a roller coaster ride. One minute you feel angry, the next guilty, and then maybe you're worried. It's a constant cycle that's never-ending. And all the chitter chatter in your head never shuts up. Even when you’re standing at the stove stirring the pasta you're making for dinner, in the back of your mind you’re really twirling about how to save the one you love. Being present in the moment feels close to impos...
Pornography Addiction
March 18, 2018 14:00 - 16 minutes - 30.3 MBOur community in the Secret Facebook Group are some of the most loving and thoughtful women I know. Every time I read their posts I am blown away by their wisdom. Every now and then I like to share a question one of the women asked the group because I think a lot of us can relate. If you would like to become a member of our private and confidential community, it comes free when you join one of our programs. You can check the programs out here. Today, we’re going to be discussing pornogr...
Should You Leave Or Should You Hold On To Hope And Stay?
March 11, 2018 14:00 - 13 minutes - 24.4 MBThe moment I knew I needed to leave. I had been waiting for this moment for years and years. Even through all the verbal abuse, the name calling, the shaming, the lying and the manipulation, I still clung to hope. I still loved him and I loved the idea of our family staying together. But somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I knew there might come a day when I needed to leave. But my heart wasn't ready. My mind still had not arrived at the decision that I felt my spirit pushing me to...
7 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Today
March 04, 2018 15:00 - 25 minutes - 46 MBI used to paint for fun. I used to be silly and laugh a lot. I was confident in a room full of other people and I was adventurous and had a great group of friends. That’s who I was before I fell in love with a wonderful man suffering from addiction. And slowly, over time, the confident, joyful woman he was attracted to became insecure. I lost my friends because going out meant that I couldn't monitor his drinking or drug use. The laughter was still there, but it was less frequent and...
How To Tell If You Can Trust Them Again
February 25, 2018 15:00 - 16 minutes - 30.2 MBHe had to work late and wouldn't be home for dinner. So, my three children and I sat around the table and ate lasagna and salad without him. When my blonde haired, blue eyed six year old son asked where daddy was, I told him that he was still working. The words coming out of my mouth sounded truthful, but my gut knew they were lies. I had been lied to so many times by the man I was madly in love with that I almost came to expect it. The truth was I didn’t know where my loved one was wh...
Letting Go Of Guilt for Staying or Leaving?
February 18, 2018 15:00 - 6 minutes - 12.7 MBThere is so much debate these days about leaving or staying with someone who’s addicted. Everybody has an opinion. Your mom, your therapist, the guy who wrote that book, your pastor. But do you know who I think has the most judgmental opinion about the choice to leave or stay with the one you love who is struggling with addiction? You. You shame yourself for wanting to leave. How could you break up the family? How could you even dream of wanting something different? You sa...
How To Start Feeling Happiness and Joy
February 11, 2018 15:00 - 10 minutes - 18.4 MBSo you love someone who is suffering from addiction? Welcome to our club. We are a group of strong and tenderhearted women from all over the world who are united by our love for someone who keeps hurting us. We are in just as much pain as the one who stays up late to look at porn, or snorts the line, who drinks too much, swallows the pills or gambles our money away. We love good people who make bad choices. It’s as simple and complex as that. And we find strength and comfort when one...
Dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? This Is a Must-Read.
February 04, 2018 15:00 - 12 minutes - 22 MBLet’s be real with each other. It’s hard to keep up with all the different ways your loved one treats you, isn’t it? You might have a tender moment in the car and reach for their hand and you’re reminded of why you feel in love with them in the first place. They might be funny and cracking you up when you both are standing at the kitchen counter talking about your day. Or you might share a thoughtful and romantic moment that gives you the deep sense of connection that has been missing ...
8 Helpful Tips for Children of Alcoholics or Substance Abusers
January 28, 2018 15:00 - 20 minutes - 36.7 MBTalking with your kids about addiction is extremely important. Your children are a lot wiser and perceptive than you think. They might not know drinking, drugs, pornography, or infidelity are going on under your roof, but they know when things don’t feel right. But you might be wondering... How do we communicate without worrying them? How do we tell them the truth without upsetting our partners? What should we share and what should we leave out? Inside the Love Over Mistakes program,...
Struggling With Anger? This Will Help.
January 21, 2018 15:00 - 19 minutes - 35.7 MBDo you ever feel angry because the one you love has an issue with drugs, drinking, pornography, gambling, or sex? I bet if you were being honest with yourself you would say, “Yes, I do feel angry sometimes.” Now, let me ask you another question: Do you feel guilty about feeling angry? When you deal with anger, do you turn into an out-of-control crazy lady saying things that you regret later? Or do you continue with the act of being “nice” and just shove, shove, shove it down further and fu...
How to Stop Comparing Your Relationship to Other Couples
January 14, 2018 15:00 - 15 minutes - 21.3 MBWhen I was married to a good man who struggled with addiction, one of my biggest battles was comparing my marriage to my friends’, family’s, and even strangers’ relationships. There was one evening when I was on a date night with my husband. waiting to be seated at a Italian restaurant. I was nervous that he was going to order a drink because, as you know, one drink leads to two that leads to three and then there’s no stopping and the night is ruined. I watched another couple walk by who...
How to REALLY Surrender
January 07, 2018 15:00 - 22 minutes - 31 MBThe word surrender is used a lot in the world of addiction. One of the things that always bothered me was that I was constantly being told that I needed to let go and surrender, but I never really understood how. The word surrender to me means letting go of my emotional investment in a certain outcome. So what’s the opposite of surrendering? Controlling. Let me ask you a question, and I promise it’s just you and me so you can keep it real and honest. We don’t do judgment in this safe...
4 Easy Tips For New Years Eve
December 30, 2017 15:00 - 14 minutes - 20.3 MBNew Year's Eve is a night of the year that painfully reminds us of the unique relationship of loving someone who drinks too much or has substance abuse issues. Here are four tips that will help make this holiday a little easier: Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Don’t worry if other people are judging you because of your partner’s disease. You are a beautifully created, loving woman. Your self-worth needs to come from God, not your friends or family members. Don’t compare your no...
Three Tips for a Happy Holiday + BONUS for Mothers
December 22, 2017 15:00 - 24 minutes - 34.2 MBHolidays… when you’re married to a man who drinks too much or suffers from addiction they can be difficult, can’t they? You’re hoping for the best. You’re praying they will stay sober so you can have a beautiful, warm, and loving holiday. Maybe you’re planning on visiting with family and they don’t have any idea how bad things have got at home. Or perhaps you have children and you just want their father to be the loving dad they deserve. I know exactly how you feel. When I was marrie...
A Boundaries Victory From One of Our Sisters
December 17, 2017 15:00 - 7 minutes - 10.4 MBHere’s a post that came from our Secret Facebook Group that is full of THE most loving and encouraging friends. There are over 800 women waiting to lift you up and cheer you on. I think you’ll find one of our sister’s personal story a tremendous encouragement. Recently, I had a falling out with both my mother (who abandoned me twice and is a narcissist and a dry drunk) and my sister in law (meddling, critical, and a highly suspicious dry drunk). Clearing my expectations, hopes, and wish...
A Story From One Brave Woman
December 10, 2017 15:00 - 20 minutes - 28.6 MBBecause this post is so good, it only needs a short introduction from me in addition to saying it's written by one of the women in our Love Over Addiction Secret Facebook Group. I know you'll find hope in her story. Enjoy! If someone had told me a year ago that 2017 would be the year I found true happiness, I would've been hopeful, but not very trusting or optimistic. If someone had told me that in 2017 I would be given the opportunity to travel across the country and visit places I had o...
The Truth About Trusting Them After Rehab
December 03, 2017 15:00 - 15 minutes - 21.4 MBHow do you trust your partner again? Can it ever be possible? Or will you always worry and constantly be waiting for the other shoe to drop? Trusting again is entirely possible. You can, and you should, trust the one you are planning on spending the rest of your life with. If you can’t trust them, you’ll end up exhausted from the constant anxiety that they will disappoint you again. So how do you get to a place where you can relax in peace and finally trust the one who has hurt you and...
What To Do if They Drink and Drive
November 26, 2017 15:00 - 9 minutes - 13.2 MBAre you worried about your partner drunk driving? When you ask them for the keys, do they refuse? Do they try to convince you that they are fine? They might tell you they have spread out their drinking over the night, or that they only had beer and not liquor. Or perhaps they are abusing drugs and you can tell they are high and shouldn’t get behind the wheel. A few months ago, I wrote a blog post and a podcast episode of the Wife Of An Alcoholic Podcast about DUI’s that I think you m...
A Truth About Sobriety That No One Talks About
November 19, 2017 15:00 - 19 minutes - 26.3 MBThere is a very common issue in the world of addiction called dry drunk. It’s when someone is actively refraining from drinking, but still displaying signs of selfishness, stubbornness, lack of accountability, and blame. And it’s shocking because for so long you’ve thought if they just got sober everything would be better. If they just got sober, they would turn into the loving, kind person they used to be and your relationship would be everything you wanted and more. But when they sto...
This Could Happen Coming Home From Rehab
November 12, 2017 15:00 - 11 minutes - 15.7 MBRehab can be the best thing that has ever happened to someone trying to get sober. And for many brave men and women, it is the starting point for their sobriety. Others come home and are back to their old ways within days. But there seems to be a growing trend happening that I want to talk about. Many women in the Love Over Addiction program are telling me that the ones they love are coming home and choosing to get drunk the very day they come home from rehab. Sometimes, they even stop...
How to Deal With Lying
November 05, 2017 15:00 - 12 minutes - 16.7 MBI was talking to a wonderful and wise woman who has joined the Love Over Addiction program, and she was telling me a story about her husband who lied to her about his drinking. She walked in on him sitting in his office and sensed that he had been drinking again. She confronted him and he denied it. So she picked up the glass and said, “What is this?” He told her it was Coke and swore there wasn’t any alcohol in it. She took a sip and said it tasted funny. But he kept saying it was just ...
Feeling Stuck? Here’s the simple solution.
October 29, 2017 14:00 - 4 minutes - 6.47 MBLast week I was speaking with a woman who booked a personal coaching call with me. She was feeling stuck, and she wanted to leave but couldn't bring herself to imagine ACTUALLY leaving. She was looking for a breakthrough that would convince her that leaving or staying was the “right thing to do.” I told her, don't worry about getting to the finish line today. Just figure out the next 3 steps. For her, that meant: identifying 3 lawyers she may want to use spending some time driving aro...
How Addiction Can Be A Blessing For Our Kids
October 22, 2017 14:00 - 13 minutes - 19 MBLet's be real, loving someone who drinks too much or suffers from substance abuse can feel like the opposite of a blessing. But one of the things that make our community different is that we refuse to just talk about the dark sides of this disease. Many, many blessings come out of a complicated relationship. And today, I want to talk about one of them. I am divorced. And I was the one who chose to leave my husband after ten years of trying to “help” him get sober. We have three children ...
7 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Love An Alcoholic or Substance Abuser
October 15, 2017 14:00 - 20 minutes - 28.4 MBDo you feel exhausted from loving someone suffering from addiction? Are you worried about the one you love so much your heart hurts? Are you wondering how to help them get them sober or convince them they have a problem and need help? Do you wonder if they will ever change? When you love someone suffering from addiction, the list of worries goes on and on. All that worrying can take a toll on our bodies. Here’s what’s important to remember - allow yourself to crash. Give yourself the n...