Love Over Addiction
320 episodes - English - Latest episode: 22 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.4K ratingsJoin host Michelle Anderson as she discusses life while loving someone struggling with addiction. The goal of each episode is to leave you with encouragement, hope, and some laughs while you navigate the heartbreaking and rewarding relationship of loving someone with substance use disorder. If you're exhausted from trying to help, lonely, and unsure what to do next - you've come to the right place.
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Episodes
Two Simple Lessons When Your Partner Suffers From Addiction
September 29, 2019 09:00 - 18 minutes - 33.8 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to see the light of day. Our once very accurate judgment and perception is now being manipulated into something else. I remember feeling so lost, thinking, “What is actually going on?” I felt crazy. Have you ever felt like that? As I started my own recovery and healing, I discovered that there are little tools and tricks that I could use in those moments to find clarity. To remind myself that I’m actually not crazy. I use...
Why It’s Okay To Change Your Mind
September 22, 2019 09:00 - 7 minutes - 13.1 MBHere’s the deal: you reserve the right to change your mind at any time, for any reason. Why is that important? Because if you’re anything like me, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to make the “right” choice. And sometimes you may even get stuck or frozen in indecision, because you’re too afraid of getting it ‘wrong’. There’s no judgment here. I’ve struggled with this all my life. Whether it’s coming from your inner perfectionist, pressures from society's expectations, or even f...
Why You Need To Take Care Of Yourself Every Day
September 15, 2019 09:00 - 9 minutes - 18.1 MBWhen I was healing from loving a man suffering from addiction there was one thing that was part of all of my days: self-care. And I know, I get it, self-care is all the rage right now. But self-care should meet your needs, and not necessarily be ‘trendy’. My self-care right now is a bowl of ice cream and an episode on Netflix. My self-care has been physical movement, walking with my dog and kids, taking a bath with all my favorite soaps, among other things. My point is that it does...
How To Listen To Your Whisper And Let Go Of The Voice Of Addiction
September 08, 2019 09:00 - 12 minutes - 22.8 MBHave you ever questioned whether to stay in your relationship or leave? It’s a big question. And that’s frankly an understatement. It’s a life-changing, wildly impactful decision of a lifetime. And listen, we never do judgment in this community. So whether you decide to stay or leave, that’s up to you. Today’s episode though, it’s about a whisper. A whisper within us that we may hear, or we may not be able to yet. The voice of addiction in our own heads is loud, ugly, demanding, and fu...
A Simple Tool To Help When You Love Someone With Addiction
September 01, 2019 09:00 - 8 minutes - 15.8 MBEverything in our life is a season. Some seasons are longer than others, and some may be harder than others. No matter what ‘season’ we may be in, we learn tips and tools to help us along the way. When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I learned all kinds of tips and tools to handle the disease, and some of these, I still use to this day. Today I’d love to share with you one simple tool that you can use every si...
How To Talk to Your Kids About Addiction
August 25, 2019 09:00 - 13 minutes - 25.5 MBHere’s the loving truth: when you have children living in this situation, with their parent (or step-parent) suffering from addiction, you’ve got work to do. You must be the strong and sober parent. You’ve got to protect them, teach them how to be safe, and educate them. You must talk to them about addiction, no matter how awkward it may feel. And I totally understand having fears around it, I did too. But you can learn how to talk to them about it, and I have tips for you today. ...
How to Create A Vision For Your Future (With or Without Them)
August 18, 2019 09:00 - 17 minutes - 32.3 MBI believe in dream boards (or vision boards). And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, just google it. They sound incredibly hokey. They sound woo-woo, they sound a little like, "What?" But I stand by them. In my life, I’ve always had at least one vision board. And I’ve got crazy stories about these vision boards throughout my life, which I share in the Love Over Addiction program. So today is all about your future. Why it’s important to dream, envision, imagine, and how to actual...
How to Practice Self-Care During a Crisis
August 11, 2019 09:00 - 19 minutes - 35.9 MBStick with me here, because I know self-care is a buzzword right now. I’m not about buzzwords, but I am all about you learning the tools you need to handle this disease. When we love someone suffering from addiction, our lives become chaotic and out of control. That’s just the way addiction works. So on today’s episode, we’ll dive deep into your self-care, and how to maintain it during a crisis. It’s an important skill, and worth having these tools in your back pocket for the next tim...
How To Choose Friends When You Love An Addict
August 04, 2019 09:00 - 14 minutes - 26.4 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we will eventually become completely isolated if we’re not already. That’s what addiction wants, and frankly, what it needs to thrive. As you know, we believe that we’re not powerless over this disease. There are things you can do to take your power back from addiction, and today is all about finding connection. Today I share tips on what kind of friends to look for (and what kind of people you want to avoid), so that you can create friend...
How To Create Your Team Of Experts
July 28, 2019 09:00 - 14 minutes - 26.5 MBSometimes when we love someone suffering from addiction we can get into the mindset that it’s all on us. Everything falls on our shoulders, and we’re responsible for it all. And let’s be honest: many, many times, that is the case. We’re not in a ‘normal’ relationship. Our partners are suffering from addiction, which means that our lives are different. And here’s the deal: it can be really daunting to think about making all these changes and shifts to make a better life, so let’s break ...
The Enabling Behaviors You Need to Stop Now
July 21, 2019 09:00 - 7 minutes - 13.3 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right? The reality is that all that energy we’re putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Because addiction has hurt us too, and we deserve recovery. We deserve energy. We deserve grace. Today you’ll learn ab...
The Honest Truth About Finding Balance
July 14, 2019 09:00 - 10 minutes - 18.8 MBIn today’s culture it seems like we’re expected to be a certain way. Especially as women. We’re expected to balance life, work, children, self-care, all of it. Every day. With balance, grace, and ease. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s BS. It’s not easy, especially when we love someone suffering from addiction. So today’s episode is a little different taste. It’s real, raw, and unscripted. It’s giving ourselves permission to be hot-messes and take the path of least resistance, just to...
When Addiction Steals Your Friendships
July 07, 2019 09:00 - 13 minutes - 24.6 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we can start to become isolated. We may feel so wrapped up in our loved one’s issues, that we start to lose our joy, our friendships, and the things that really matter to us. When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction I was lonely. So. Lonely. I remember longing for real friendship, and even being jealous of ‘friends’ I saw on social media posting pictures about all their girls’ trips. I let addiction steal my joy, includi...
What To Do When Your Partner Is Mad At You
June 30, 2019 09:00 - 13 minutes - 24.9 MBWe’ve been doing a series all about types of aggression and tactics used. Because here’s the truth: When we love someone suffering from addiction “normal” advice doesn’t cut it for us. We need something more specific, because loving someone suffering from addiction is NOT a normal relationship. We’ve talked about how to handle your anger before, but what about theirs? Do you know how to respond when they’re getting nasty and mean? Are you sure they’re actually angry, or are they using this...
How To Stop Tolerating Lies From Your Partner Suffering From Addiction
June 23, 2019 09:00 - 15 minutes - 27.7 MBWe’re a community full of women that love someone suffering from addiction. And here’s the reality: our lives and relationships are different because of that. Have you ever had an evening like this? Let’s play this out: your partner comes home 4 hours later than expected. When you ask them where they were, they say something like, “I had to stay late at work tonight.” And here’s the reality: they did have to stay late at work, but only an extra half an hour. The other 3.5 hours they were...
Are You Being Manipulated By Addiction?
June 16, 2019 09:00 - 12 minutes - 22.4 MBWe must remember that although we love good people, they do suffer from a disease. And the disease of addiction is not nice. It’s mean. It’s ugly. And it does whatever it takes to thrive. Here’s the loving truth: if they don’t seek recovery, it gets worse over time. So, as the ones that love these people suffering, we have work to do. We need to prepare ourselves to deal with their behaviors, both good and bad. Today we dive deep into manipulation and a different tactic they may use, a...
When Experts Don’t Have Personal Experience
June 09, 2019 09:00 - 14 minutes - 26.4 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, the truth is that only we know how bad things really are. And when we start to seek a team of professionals, be it therapists, mediators, lawyers, or whomever, we must find the right fit. Because we love someone suffering from addiction, we have developed a strong intuition, and I encourage you to use that when you’re finding your professional team. I fired my first lawyer. She didn’t get it. She wasn’t respectful, and she didn’t listen. W...
How To React When They’re Playing Innocent
June 02, 2019 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19.2 MBLast week we talked about covert aggression when you love someone suffering from addiction. So if you missed that episode, please go back and have a listen. This week we’re building on that - so what are tactics our loved ones might use when they’re being covertly aggressive? Let me ask you this: Does your partner ever play dumb? Forget things that have happened? Dispute fine details? Act oblivious? All of the above? Sing it sister. Because I hear you. I totally understand. My ex-husba...
When Passive Aggression Is Really Covert Aggression
May 26, 2019 09:00 - 12 minutes - 22.6 MBHere’s the loving truth: because we love a good person suffering from addiction, we just don’t have the luxury of a “normal” relationship. Addiction is sneaky, and will do whatever it has to do to thrive, including hurting us, the ones that are closest and care the most. Here’s the thing though: we’re not powerless. We’re not martyrs. We’re not victims of this very hard situation. We’re not. I refuse to believe that for one second. Today you’ll find power, you’ll find the knowledge and...
Why You Love An Alcoholic or Substance Abuser
May 19, 2019 09:00 - 6 minutes - 12.7 MBThis week we’re re-releasing the very first ever episode. It’s an oldie, but a goodie. And here’s the truth: when you love someone suffering from addiction, these tips are always helpful, no matter how ‘new’ or ‘old’ they are. In this episode Michelle shares helpful tips about why you still love them, and why that’s totally okay. Even a well meaning friend or family member may not get it. They just may not understand. And that’s okay too. Because you have this community here. And it’s full...
Why You Love An Alcoholic or Substance Abuser
May 19, 2019 09:00 - 6 minutes - 12.7 MBThis week we’re re-releasing the very first ever episode. It’s an oldie, but a goodie. And here’s the truth: when you love someone suffering from addiction, these tips are always helpful, no matter how ‘new’ or ‘old’ they are. In this episode Michelle shares helpful tips about why you still love them, and why that’s totally okay. Even a well meaning friend or family member may not get it. They just may not understand. And that’s okay too. Because you have this community here. And it’s full...
How To Avoid An Argument
May 12, 2019 09:00 - 6 minutes - 11.6 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, arguments and fights are part of our normal life, much more so than a relationship without addiction. So how does it feel when your partner walks into the room, and you know they’re there to pick a fight? Maybe you can tell by their body language, their tone, the subject matter, or maybe they’re already starting to yell. No matter the circumstance, you may become super anxious, fearful, or mad. You may want to just run and hide. Or maybe you...
Addiction Can Be Your Greatest Opportunity
May 05, 2019 09:00 - 6 minutes - 11.5 MBIn this community, we believe in being honest. So let’s say it: loving someone suffering from addiction is hard. Your life may feel completely chaotic and out of control at times, but other times, you get a glimpse of your dreams when your partner is sober. It may feel like a crazy roller coaster ride. Think about this: addiction came into your life for a reason. You chose your partner for a reason. Loving someone with addiction can be our greatest opportunity to grow and become the wome...
An Expert Interview With A Child Psychologist
April 28, 2019 16:00 - 52 minutes - 95.5 MBAs mothers, we all try to do the very best for our children. But our ‘job’ as mothers changes significantly when we love someone suffering from addiction, especially if that someone is the child’s parent. Knowing how to protect your children in this situation is imperative to raising healthy children who are mentally and emotionally stable. And let me share a loving truth: You have to learn the tools to know how to raise children who don’t later become addicts themselves. It’s your job. ...
A Small Reminder Of Calm Amidst The Chaos
April 21, 2019 09:00 - 8 minutes - 16.3 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction of any kind (alcohol, drugs, pills, gambling, porn, or sex among other things), life can feel completely out of control. Everything can feel like it’s just spinning in complete chaos. It’s hard to see through and make heads or tails of what’s really going on. This constant chaos can become our new normal. We might make excuses or write it off, and think, everyone goes through this level of chaos. Addiction does that. It’s super sneaky and doe...
Part II - How To Handle Addiction When It’s Progressing Quickly
April 13, 2019 09:00 - 1 hour - 110 MBAddiction is a progressive disease, which means that it gets worse over time. The rate of progression really depends on each individual person and their specific circumstances. We're the women that love these good people suffering from addiction, so what does that mean for us? Well, in this episode, it’s Part II of an interview with Terri, a Love Over Addiction sister. Her husband's disease changed fast, but because she had the tools, knowledge, and power that she did, she knew what to...
Part I - How To Deal With Denial When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
April 07, 2019 16:00 - 53 minutes - 97.5 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to see clearly in that situation. Especially if they develop their addiction habits after you meet them. When we’re in the thick of loving someone suffering from addiction, we can have blinders on. We can be in denial, or make excuses for them. We begin to think that this crazy environment, with all this chaos, is normal. Have you ever felt that way? If you have, I want you to listen to this podcast interview with Terri. She’...
She’s Staying With Her Husband Suffering From Alcoholism
March 24, 2019 09:00 - 58 minutes - 107 MBEvery woman that loves someone suffering from addiction is looking for hope. We want our loved ones to change, and we’re doing anything and everything we can to get them sober. We are in a relationship with our loved one for our own reasons, and we never intended to leave the relationship or marriage. I remember when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction, I tried everything to make it work. You name it, I probably tried it. Is it possible to live a life with your partner...
How Cleaning Your House and Addiction Are Related
March 17, 2019 09:00 - 24 minutes - 44.6 MBWhen you love someone that’s suffering from addiction, your life can feel completely out of control and chaotic. That’s part of the disease, and it’s completely normal. So how does cleaning relate to all this? Well, it’s more than meets the eye. Learn how cleaning can bring back some control, peace, and even joy into your life today. Taking simple steps, getting small wins, and finding easy-to-do things is the way to start your recovery. You’ve already started by just listening to this p...
Practical Tips For St. Patrick's Day When Your Partner Drinks Too Much
March 10, 2019 10:00 - 29 minutes - 54.4 MBWe are a sisterhood bonded together by the fact that we love a good person that suffers from addiction. We all know that holidays can be hard. Any small holiday can be the perfect excuse for your loved one to drink more, smoke more, use more, or do more of whatever it is they’re addicted to. St. Patrick’s Day is coming up, and small holidays like these can be the perfect excuse for your loved one to have an extra drink, smoke more, or do more drugs. Whatever type of addiction they strugg...
A Celebration Of Women Who Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
March 03, 2019 10:00 - 7 minutes - 13.2 MBEvery woman in this community knows what it’s like to love a good person that drinks too much or suffers from addiction. Addiction is the third party in their relationships too, just like it was in mine. The voice of addiction is ugly. It’s full of lies and deceit. And, it’s loud. It knows how to play you, when to be loud, and when to soften. It’s not fair. You did nothing to deserve this. If you are struggling today, or have ever struggled with this ugly voice in your head, please liste...
How to Gain Self-Confidence (At Any Age)
February 24, 2019 10:00 - 35 minutes - 65.1 MBWe’re a sisterhood here. We have over 50,000 women in our community and we’re all bonded by the fact that we love someone suffering from addiction. The type of addiction doesn’t matter. We have women that love good people suffering from addiction to alcohol, illegal (or legal) drugs, prescription pills, gambling, pornography, or sex, among other things. We build each other up. We’re not all dark, dingy, gray, and depressing. Is it hard? Oh, you bet it is. But we’re here shining a light. ...
Do Labels Really Make A Difference When It Comes To Addiction?
February 17, 2019 10:00 - 33 minutes - 62.1 MBWhen we love someone that drinks too much or suffers from addiction, it’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of researching their issues and offering them a label or diagnosis. And frankly, why wouldn’t we? We know they have a problem, and we love them. We’re trying to help. Right? Well, I actually have a different idea, sister. I know, this may be hard to hear, but let me explain. There’s something else that we can be doing instead, that will truly make an impact on the situation and be so...
Valentine’s Day With Our Love Over Addiction Sisters
February 10, 2019 10:00 - 12 minutes - 23 MBValentine’s Day is right around the corner. When you have a partner that suffers from addiction, you may be left feeling alone and neglected on this day that’s supposed to be all about love. We have a loving suggestion for you: Be your own Valentine. Prepare for the day, dress up, exercise, plant flowers, whatever is “your thing”, girl do your thang. Today on the podcast we hear from our Love Over Addiction Sisters as they share their own self-care tips to prepare for this day all about ...
Ask Me Anything Episode #3: With My Husband
February 03, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 140 MBWe all love (or have loved) someone that suffers from addiction. It could be alcohol, illegal (or legal) drugs, prescription pills, pornography, or sex among other things. Regardless of who you are, and what role they (and their addiction) play in your life, it does have an impact on us. It impacts our outlook on life, our trust, our relationship, that inner voice that we all have. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in a different relationship? If you decide to leave your p...
How to Handle Super Bowl Weekend When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much
January 27, 2019 10:00 - 23 minutes - 43.8 MBSuper Bowl is a huge drinking and partying weekend. Everyone seems to have an excuse to drink or smoke, or whatever a little extra with the celebratory (or defeatist) vibes in the air on this particular weekend. All the snacks are out, the TV is on, and the drinks are flowing. How do we handle situations like this when our loved one loves to drink a little too much? We talk serious questions and advice about the parties, what to do if they start drinking, and how to handle it when your c...
Ask Me Anything Episode #2: About My Ex-Husband
January 13, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 191 MBWe’re back with another Ask Me Anything episode - all about my ex-husband. I was married to a good man that drinks too much and suffers from substance abuse disorder. It’s a real conversation filled with tough questions, real answers, and hopefully some new insights for you. When you're in a relationship with someone that suffers from addiction, it's hard to see the light. I felt like I was in a prison, and wasn't sure if or how to get out. If you have questions for me (about my ex-h...
One of My Favorite Books
January 06, 2019 10:00 - 9 minutes - 16.7 MBToday on the podcast I review one of my favorite books that has everything and nothing to do with addiction. I was married to a good man that drank too much and suffered from addiction for 10+ years. After reading this book, I walked away with new insights from our relationship, and how it truly was an opportunity for me. Read the blog or listen to the podcast to learn all about it. And we’re doing a free book giveaway. Listen for details.
Dropping Expectations
December 30, 2018 10:00 - 15 minutes - 28 MBWhen you love someone that drinks too much or suffers from addiction it's easy to be wrapped up in their disease, their actions, and their situations. We are high achieving women, and we can develop unrealistic expectations (yes, that means too high of expectations) for yourself and those around. These unrealistic expectations you can steal your joy and make it hard enjoy anything. But what if you start to make peace with who you are right now. Take some time to look around and notice...
12 Holiday Tips From Your Sisters
December 23, 2018 10:00 - 22 minutes - 41.2 MBHolidays can be filled with baking, shopping, and sipping hot cocoa while watching your favorite movies. But when you love someone suffering from addiction, the holiday season can be tough. We reached out to the women in our community to share how they make the holidays enjoyable and less stressful. Listen to the podcast or read the blog for their insights. You'll feel inspired and encouraged by their ideas.
Your Safe Space
December 16, 2018 10:00 - 17 minutes - 32.3 MBCreating a safe space when you love someone suffering from addiction is a must. Truly, it's non-negotiable. When I was married to a good man that drank too much and suffered from addiction, my safe space was my island. It was my sanctuary. I'll tell you what it is, how I created it, and tips for creating your own today. Read the blog or listen to the podcast and we’ll talk all about it.
Introducing: Ask Me Anything Episode #1
December 09, 2018 10:00 - 58 minutes - 107 MBWe did something different this week: My friend Olivia is on the podcast - and she’s asking me personal questions from women in our community. Some questions are related to addiction - but others aren't. We talk motherhood, raising children, social media, and of course, stranded on an island. It's the first episode in our mini Ask Me Anything series. It’s different than what we normally do - so if you’re new, don’t run away! Listen for something a little more fun, and a bit different...
Six Ways To Avoid Another Holiday Full of Drama
December 02, 2018 10:00 - 17 minutes - 32.8 MBWhen you love someone that suffers from alcoholism or addiction, the holidays can be unbearable. This season that's supposed to be family oriented and joyous can turn into a nightmare of anxiety and stress because of your loved one's behavior. You deserve to have a good holiday. Their behavior is not your fault. I have 6 tips for you today.
18 Reasons To Be Grateful for Addiction
November 18, 2018 10:00 - 15 minutes - 28.1 MBThere are many blessings of loving someone who struggles with addiction. Yes, you read that correctly. I know it feels dark and hopeless sometimes. But addiction can be a gateway: an opportunity to grow into the women we are meant to be. Hear from 18 women in our community and how addiction has been a blessing in their lives. These women know exactly what you're going through. They understand, and we do too.
Encore: Dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
November 11, 2018 10:00 - 14 minutes - 25.8 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction or substance abuse disorder, it can feel like you're dealing with two different people. When they're sober, you see the person you fell in love with. They're kind, loving, funny, and caring. In these moments you see your true partner and the love of your life. When they start drinking or using drugs, it feels like they turn into someone else. Their addiction masks their personality and takes away the person you fell in love with in the f...
A Personal Story
November 04, 2018 09:00 - 28 minutes - 52.4 MBI want to share a special story with you today that I don't share very often. It's my personal story about why I left my marriage with someone that drank too much and suffered from addiction. Every woman's path will be different, but I hope you find comfort and encouragement in mine.
Protecting Yourself
October 28, 2018 09:00 - 18 minutes - 34.1 MBOur community is full of women that love good people who drink too much or suffer from addiction. We truly believe that our loved ones are good people. On today's episode, it's a bit of an unusual story, but listen in to hear the core story about why we believe they're good people.
The Worst Advice - From Good People
October 21, 2018 09:00 - 11 minutes - 20.2 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, sometimes our most trusted confidants can give us the most well-meaning, bad advice. Some of the wisest people have helpful guidance for “normal” marriages without addiction. But some of the advice I had received during my marriage as “codependent people-pleaser” would have sent me down a spiral that ended in a breakdown. Read the blog or listen to the podcast to learn the best way to decipher between good advice or wisdom you should igno...
3 Warning Signs You’re Being Manipulated
October 14, 2018 09:00 - 11 minutes - 21 MBIf you love someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction you’ll learn three reasons why we can’t just break away when we know we should entertain the idea of leaving because the reality of today outweighs the hope for our future. If you’re doing your part. If you’re showing up and have been committed to the work but it feels like all our efforts of helping them get sober bring inconsistent rewards. If you’re trying to detach and trying to set boundaries, but it’s just not working...
Feeling Trapped In Your Relationship?
October 07, 2018 09:00 - 10 minutes - 18.6 MBThe drama and stress from loving someone suffering from addiction are enough to make you feel like you’re going insane. There are days where you want to curl up into a ball forever. Addiction can make you feel like you’re suffocating and your feelings and thoughts don’t matter. The women in this community, your sisters... we understand exactly what you’re feeling. Listen to the podcast to find helpful tips and to know that you’re not alone: https://loveoveraddiction.com/111/. For more fr...