Love Over Addiction
320 episodes - English - Latest episode: 22 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.4K ratingsJoin host Michelle Anderson as she discusses life while loving someone struggling with addiction. The goal of each episode is to leave you with encouragement, hope, and some laughs while you navigate the heartbreaking and rewarding relationship of loving someone with substance use disorder. If you're exhausted from trying to help, lonely, and unsure what to do next - you've come to the right place.
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Episodes
You Have A Lot In Common With Your Loved One
September 06, 2020 09:00 - 32 minutes - 44.8 MBIf you're codependent, you may find yourself concentrating on your loved one's addiction (sometimes more than they are). Or relying on them to validate your feelings and help you feel better. And look, no judgment at all. But you may be surprised to learn how some of your own hurt, pain, and struggles are similar to what your partner experiences with their addiction. In this week's episode, I discuss the traits you might have in common with your partner and how it relates to each person...
Riding the Roller Coaster of Your Loved One’s Addiction
August 30, 2020 09:00 - 38 minutes - 53 MBLoving someone with addiction can sometimes make you feel like you're on a roller coaster ride, can't it? One moment you're feeling joyful and hopeful, only to have it turn to fear and anger pretty quickly. And listen, no judgment at all. We've been there and completely understand. But the good news is that you can make it feel less and less like a roller coaster ride when dealing with your loved one. Tune in to this week's episode to hear how to lessen the ups and downs of this sometime...
When My Husband Tested Positive For Drugs
August 23, 2020 09:00 - 27 minutes - 38.2 MBMaybe you don't have any proof (yet), but your intuition is kicking in and something feels "off" with your loved one suffering from addiction. Does this sound familiar? So how do you approach a tough conversation? In this week's episode, I'll talk about how to communicate with your partner in these situations and what to actually say to them. I also share a very personal story that I haven't yet told when my ex-husband tested positive for drugs. Remember, this is your greatest opportuni...
How to Pick The Best Time To Talk to Your Loved One
August 16, 2020 09:00 - 21 minutes - 29.1 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to let things go sometimes. Maybe you found empty bottles after they said they'd stop drinking. Or they came home late again (or not at all). You probably want to get to the bottom of what they did (and why). But how can you effectively express what you're feeling when they've been drinking or using? You want to feel heard and recognized, right? In this week's episode, I share a tool on how to talk to your loved one when you'...
Why You Need a Plan B When You Love an Addict or Alcoholic
August 09, 2020 09:00 - 16 minutes - 22 MBYou've probably experienced your loved one's unpredictable behavior sometimes, right? Maybe you've gone back and forth on whether you should stay or leave your relationship because of their addiction. Regardless, being as prepared as possible - especially at a moment's notice - can be super helpful (particularly if you have dependents). In this week's episode, I discuss the importance of having a Plan B, and some tips to help you get started. Remember: while you can’t control your partne...
Is Your Partner Being Manipulative?
August 02, 2020 09:00 - 13 minutes - 19.1 MBWhen your partner suffers from addiction, it can be hard to tell if they're lying or being manipulative. Here's the thing: addiction knows exactly what to say to you at that moment. This is especially true if they're making promises about wanting to get sober. You want to believe them, but you've heard those words over and over again. Does that sound familiar? In this week’s episode, we discuss how to get to a place of believing what your partner says. (Hint: it's a simple lesson my dad ...
How To Deal With In-Laws
July 26, 2020 09:00 - 28 minutes - 38.6 MBDealing with in-laws and extended family can be tricky when your partner suffers from addiction. Can you relate? Maybe there have been times when they've blamed you for their child's addiction. Or you've wondered how much you should share with them regarding your loved one's addiction. But here’s the thing: It’s not your job to convince their family (or yours) of anything. In this week's episode, we talk about the role of in-laws, extended family, and 4 tips on how to deal with them. I a...
How To Deal With Emptiness
July 19, 2020 09:00 - 17 minutes - 24.3 MBWhen you have a loved one that suffers from addiction, it can be easy to feel empty sometimes. You may try to fill that void by looking for approval from others (including your partner) rather than yourself. Can you relate? So, how can you stop turning towards the outside to quit feeling empty? In this week's episode, we discuss ways to rely on yourself to feel full rather than waiting for people around you to do it. Just a loving reminder: you get to create these moments and dictate wha...
Bonus Release: If Your Heart Is A Bit Prickled
July 14, 2020 16:35 - 22 minutes - 30.8 MBThis special episode is a follow-up to yesterday's episode. If you found your heart a little prickled by the loving truths Michelle gave, take a listen to this bonus release as she shares a personal story about her ex-husband, her children, and her own 'prickled heart' moment.
Talking To Your Kids About Addiction
July 12, 2020 09:00 - 29 minutes - 41.1 MBIf your loved one suffers from addiction, you've probably spent a lot of energy trying to help them get better. And if you have kids, figuring out how to help them handle their parent's addiction can be tough. Does this sound familiar? If so, no judgment at all. I was in the same situation when I was married to a good man struggling with addiction. But it's time to take an inventory of where your energy is going. In today's episode, you'll hear how to put that energy back towards you (an...
Coping When a Loved One Hurts Your Feelings
July 05, 2020 09:00 - 35 minutes - 48.2 MBMore than likely, you've had your feelings hurt from time to time. Regardless if it was because of your loved one that suffers from addiction, or a friend or family member, it hurts. But remember, you get to choose who to be vulnerable with, and who will treat you with love and care. In today's episode, you’ll hear a very relevant story involving my dad, ways to cope with hurt feelings, and how to choose whose opinions matter. You'll be able to come out of this stronger and with more c...
Three Tools For Surviving Hard Weekends
June 28, 2020 09:00 - 20 minutes - 28.4 MBWe know weekends, especially holiday weekends, may be a more difficult time for you and your loved one who suffers from addiction. They might be inclined to drink more than usual or lose control. But remember, you're not powerless over this disease. You get to choose how you react to their actions and behaviors. By making a few preparations ahead of time, you'll be able to enjoy your weekend the way you want. In today's episode, you'll hear three helpful tools for hard weekends (or any t...
Are You Being Verbally Abused?
June 21, 2020 09:00 - 30 minutes - 41.2 MBIn today’s episode, I'm sharing a story (with permission) - and a lesson - from a big conversation I had recently with my daughter about verbal abuse. When you’re in a relationship with someone who suffers from addiction, it’s possible you may have experienced some form of verbal abuse in your relationship. There’s no need to feel embarrassed. I’ve been there, too. You can move through this, honor yourself, and choose to set your boundaries. Listen to hear me talk about the lessons my ...
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Discussion Patterns
June 14, 2020 09:00 - 30 minutes - 56.1 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we may feel crazy when we try to talk to them about an issue or something going on. You may find yourself questioning whether or not this is normal. You may have forgotten what a healthy discussion looks like. When we love someone suffering from addiction, our ‘normal’ is much different than everyone else's. On today’s episode you’ll hear a couple of examples about what a healthy discussion looks like and what an unhealthy one looks like...
The Power Of Positive Thinking
June 07, 2020 09:00 - 16 minutes - 29.4 MBToday is all about the power of positive thinking. And you know that in this community we talk about feelings and we give you actionable steps to take so you actually feel better. On today’s episode you’ll hear about two powerful tools you can start using now to influence your thinking in a positive way. They’re simple. Yes they take practice, and yes, they will make a difference. Learn more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/power-of-positive-thinking/ Join us here: https://love...
Relationship Roles When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
May 31, 2020 09:00 - 18 minutes - 33.2 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction, we tend to take on certain roles in the relationship. We want to help our partners get sober, and sometimes we find ourselves grasping at straws in order to make it work. There’s never any judgment here. We understand what you’re going through and know that you only want to help. We’re here today to offer you tips and tools to navigate your relationship. Today’s a good day to be honest with yourself about what’s really going on: inside of...
Find The Answers When There's Something To Prove
May 24, 2020 09:00 - 11 minutes - 20.8 MBFor those in the US, today is Memorial Day. We honor those that have served this country for our freedom. Thank you. To their wives and children, thank you. When we love someone suffering from addiction, holidays (like today) can be an excuse to drink or use more than usual. So our podcast episode is all about you. It’s all about finding the answer you may have been looking for, and maybe where you didn’t expect it. We dive deep into questions to ask yourself, and yes, have a conver...
Five Stages To Feeling Better When You Love An Alcoholic Or Substance Abuser
May 17, 2020 09:00 - 39 minutes - 71.9 MBFeeling better is a process, right? If there was some magical, fantastical button that would just make everyone feel better with no work, we’d all be there. But that’s not the case. We have to put work into how we feel. And like anything that has a true reward in life, it takes effort. There’s a process. Honoring (and knowing) that process can be helpful as we’re working through our own healing. It can also be helpful to know the process as we see our loved ones work through their o...
Finding Compassion Is Your Choice
May 10, 2020 09:00 - 14 minutes - 26.9 MBWe’re all still in some sort of lockdown due to the coronavirus. When we love someone suffering from addiction, we have our coping strategies. We all have things we do to help us through those particularly rough situations. We teach those tools and tips in the programs, but here’s the thing: you may not be able to use your normal coping strategies right now. Right? We can’t necessarily pick up our keys and escape to the grocery store, or out shopping, or to a coffee shop. All that’s...
Here’s Something You Can Fix When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
May 03, 2020 09:00 - 15 minutes - 27.6 MBIn this community, we love someone suffering from addiction. And most of us are fixers by nature. We’re helpers. We feel deeply for others, and all we want to do is help in a loving way. In most cases that help or desire to fix is outwardly focused, meaning that we’re focusing our attention and love on someone else. So today we talk about taking that inward. And focusing that energy and attention on ourselves, and what happens when we do that. Find more details here: https://loveove...
Here’s Why You’re In A Relationship With Someone Suffering From Addiction
April 26, 2020 09:00 - 17 minutes - 31.5 MBHave you ever wondered why you landed in this relationship with someone suffering from addiction in the first place? I know that I did. And we’ve heard the same question from countless women in our community. It’s a great question, because if we’re being honest, none of us ever dreamed of being in such a relationship. Right? Today we talk about why you’re here in the first place. It’s good stuff. Listen on your next walk, drive, or while you’re cozied up on the couch with your head...
How To Stay And Find Your Power
April 19, 2020 09:00 - 30 minutes - 56.6 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, the relationship will most likely become more unhealthy over time. Meaning that our ‘normal’ morphs and changes and we take on roles and behaviors that relationships without addiction don’t struggle with. This is one way that we give away our power. So today we talk all about staying in your relationship and keeping your power. Because let’s be honest, if you’re going to stay, then you must take back all your power you’ve given away and find ...
You Don’t Always Have To Try So Hard
April 12, 2020 09:00 - 11 minutes - 20.7 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we try hard all the time. Our day-to-day life is harder than most, and we know that it requires more energy to manage our relationships. And let’s be honest: it’s hard. Sometimes we try so darn hard, and it feels like we make it half a step forward at best. Can you relate to that feeling? I know it can feel very defeating. So today we talk about why it’s okay to take a break from trying so hard. It’s nice to have ‘permission’ to do somethi...
Here’s Why You Can’t Leave An Unhealthy Relationship Right Now
April 05, 2020 09:00 - 26 minutes - 48.8 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction, you may question why you stay. And let’s be honest, with everything going on right now, all the shelter-in-place and stay-at-home orders, we’ve got a lot on our minds. It’s a lot to process and work through. My heart goes out to you, sister. I was once where you are today, and you’ve got a whole other layer to navigate being at home with these uncertain times. Today is all about why you are staying in your relationship right now - or maybe...
Codependency Has Its Benefits
March 29, 2020 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19.3 MB**Listen to this episode for a special update from me during this time** A lot of times in the recovery world we, the loved ones, are labeled as codependent people. They basically use that label to explain why we might have gotten into this relationship in the first place. Labels set aside, we all got into our relationships for different reasons. And of course, we’re each choosing to stay or leave for our own reasons. Here’s what I think: being labeled as “codependent” can have its b...
Do you love yourself while loving an alcoholic?
March 22, 2020 09:00 - 7 minutes - 14.5 MBWe’re empathetic loving women that take care of everyone else. Right? Can you relate? Raise your hand if you always care for someone else before putting your own needs first. I was once that way. And I still have to remind myself to take care of myself instead of focusing on everyone else. So today I’m here with a tip about how to love yourself when you love an alcoholic or addict. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-love-yourself-while-loving-your-alcoholic/
12 Quick Tips You Can Try Today
March 15, 2020 09:00 - 4 minutes - 7.94 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction we can become so bogged down with their choices and addiction. It’s nice to hear tips, new ideas, and things to try that can actually make a difference in your day-to-day life. And here’s the other great thing: It lets you focus on yourself and what you’re doing and less and less on them and what they’re doing. We hope you enjoy these 12 quick tips that you can start implementing today! Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/12-t...
Three Lies We Believe When We Love An Alcoholic
March 08, 2020 10:00 - 6 minutes - 11.4 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we can take on the role of fixer, solver, and just plain ‘figure-everything-out-and-make-everything-better-er’. Am I right? We take on their addiction and with that, we take on lies and mistruths that lead our beliefs. The truth of it is that taking those on is harmful. It’s not beneficial to our healing. When we can remove the goggles of their addiction and see the situation truly for what it is, we can let go of these lies and move forwa...
A Near Death Experience Led To Recovery
March 01, 2020 10:00 - 49 minutes - 90.4 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we think that if they can just get sober, all the problems would melt away. We’d somehow have a “normal” life after that, right? I know when I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that’s what I thought. Today we have an interview from our community who shares her story and how they got here. Her husband hasn’t had a drink in over five years, and she continues to practice her healing every single day. We talk about big is...
Help and Support When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
February 28, 2020 18:21 - 5 minutes - 9.77 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction it’s so easy to feel completely isolated and alone. It can start to feel like we’re living a lie because we tend to cover up their issues for them. We take on the role of fixing and solving. We hide, we may even lie. There’s no judgment here. I get it. I did it for years. So today we’re here with some encouraging words. We’re here to lift you up. We’re here to tell you that not only are you doing an amazing job, but we’ll tell you why that’s t...
Is it okay to stay with my alcoholic husband?
February 23, 2020 10:00 - 8 minutes - 15.6 MBToday’s episode is raw and real. We all have our own personal reasons for staying or leaving when we’re in a relationship with a good person that is suffering from addiction. In everyone’s journey there comes a point that we get real about our reasons for staying (or leaving). That point comes at all different times and for all different reasons, but it will happen. When I got real about why I was staying I found some pretty uncomfortable reasons that were hard to admit. Now, this i...
When (and how) to break away from codependency
February 16, 2020 10:00 - 47 minutes - 87.3 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction we so often feel alone and isolated. We can feel left in the dark, like no one really knows what’s going on. And that’s true. It feels that way because more often than not, that’s what’s actually going on. That’s one of the reasons why we love sharing these interviews with women from our community. It reminds us that we’re not alone. There are lots of women out there that actually understand what we’re going through. Hearing their stories can ...
How To Know If It’s A Pornography Addiction
February 02, 2020 10:00 - 49 minutes - 90.4 MBIf we’re getting real with each other, we’ve probably all had a conversation about pornography in our relationships. Pornography is completely normalized, accepted, and expected as something that men (and women) do to cope, relieve stress, or otherwise find a release. But here’s the thing: how do we know when it’s an addiction vs. just watching pornography for other reasons? That’s a great question, and something we explore on today’s interview with our very own Laurie. Let’s make s...
How To Let Go of Anger When You Love an Alcoholic or Substance Abuser
January 26, 2020 10:00 - 5 minutes - 9.26 MBWhen you love someone suffering from addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, gambling, or whatever else they may choose, we get angry. Their addiction starts to overtake their lives and relationships, right? Of course we get angry. So this week we’re talking specifically about how to let it go. Here’s the thing: if we don’t find ways to let that anger go, it can build and become toxic to us. It can start to cause resentment and bitterness. It can start to seep into other parts o...
How To Help When Your Child Is Suffering From Addiction
January 19, 2020 10:00 - 31 minutes - 57.3 MBDoes your child suffer from addiction? Have you found them drinking, using drugs, huffing, or taking pills? If their parent suffers from addiction, that means they have a genetic predisposition. Today we hear from a brave women in our community who caught her son smoking pot, and started a ten year battle with addiction that’s still going on to this day. Her boundaries, staying in her lane, and not enabling saved her son. And they’re closer than ever in their relationship. Let’s mak...
Why They Might Suffer From Addiction (And How It Relates To You)
January 12, 2020 10:00 - 9 minutes - 17.5 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to let go of the blame. This becomes especially true if you’re a parent with a child who’s suffering from addiction. And it’s not your fault. Nothing you did, didn’t do, said, or didn’t say has caused their addiction. Sometimes it can be really hard to actually believe that. And let’s be honest: your loved one may even tell you it’s your fault. And that’s hard to get over. So today we’re exploring more reasons it’s not yo...
Their Addiction Is Not Your Fault
January 05, 2020 10:00 - 7 minutes - 13.4 MBAre you a mother or father with a child suffering from addiction? If so, do you take on the blame of their addiction? Do you think it’s your fault? Do you think that you did (or didn’t do) something right, and that’s why they’re suffering? I’m here to tell you it’s not your fault. And when you listen to today’s episode, you’ll hear why it’s not your fault + another loving truth. We have a free masterclass just for parents who have a child suffering from addiction. You can learn more an...
How To Thrive When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
December 29, 2019 10:00 - 7 minutes - 13.9 MBThriving. It’s more than surviving. It’s joy, excitement, opportunity, fun. And let’s be honest, when we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be very challenging to get to that space within ourselves. I know it took me a long time, but I did get there. And I know you can too. Today we hear from our community. Which you know, I’ve said a thousand times, I love our community. These women are full of power and wisdom. And listen, they’re thriving. They’ve done a lot of work to ...
Can You Be Grateful For Addiction?
December 22, 2019 10:00 - 15 minutes - 29.3 MBToday we find gratitude. Which let’s be honest: in our situations, that can be really hard to do sometimes. We had to share this episode again today because we wanted you to hear these brave women from our community, and how they find gratitude, all the while loving someone suffering from addiction. It is certainly a practice, and we want to lovingly encourage you to find one way to be grateful for addiction today. Let’s make space for our sisters’ gratitude, and we’ll make space fo...
Helpful Holiday Tips From Our Community
December 15, 2019 10:00 - 7 minutes - 14.5 MBYou’re part of this community, and let’s be honest, most people don’t actually understand what you’re going through. Your baseline for chaos and lack of control are more than the average woman ever has to deal with. We asked our community to share some of their holiday tips. It’s so nice to hear from other women who actually get it. They are living it right now too, or have lived it in the past. Our community is such a source of power and wisdom. Join the community: https://loveov...
How Letting Things Fall Apart Can Actually Help
December 08, 2019 10:00 - 6 minutes - 11.3 MBFor years I played the role of the fixer and mender. I held it all together. I was the glue. Without me, my ex-husband and his addiction would fall apart. I thought if I could just run around and excuse his behavior, clean up the messes, hide the evidence, fib to his boss, it would all be okay eventually. Can you relate? Well, I was wrong. Once I learned what I should actually be doing, I dropped that exhausting role of trying to be the glue. Instead, I let it all go. I let i...
A Real Life Story About Supporting Your Children Through Addiction
December 01, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 117 MBToday we get to hear a real life story from a brave woman in our community. Her story is absolutely amazing, and we talk on big topics like letting go of codependent behaviors, supporting children through the chaos, and how to handle it when one child is extremely loyal to their father. Truly, she’s found peace and happiness whether he’s taking pills (and drinking) or not. Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/podcast Join the community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/ Connect pers...
How Taking Care Of Your Partner Suffering From Addiction Is Actually Hurting
November 24, 2019 10:00 - 7 minutes - 13.1 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, our relationships aren’t ‘normal’ by any stretch of the word. We can take on strange roles that we never imagined before, like taking care of our partners like they’re our children. Can you relate? Do you find yourself reminding them of appointments? Picking up their laundry? Cleaning up their messes? Driving them places? Making all their food? There’s no shame here. We’re a judgment-free community. And I found myself in this exact posi...
What It’s Really Like To Leave Your Marriage When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction
November 17, 2019 10:00 - 49 minutes - 89.7 MBHere’s the deal: today I get to share a conversation with you - one I had with a Love Over Addiction Sister in our community. She’s sharing her personal story about loving a good man that suffers from addiction. We cover big topics like why (and how) she ended up here in the first place. We talk about how her lack of self-confidence impacted her whole relationship, and where she is today with her two young children. As always, please welcome this brave woman with loving, judgment-fr...
Feeling Guilty Can Be A Good Sign
November 10, 2019 10:00 - 5 minutes - 9.62 MBGrowing up, weren’t we all taught that when we feel guilty about something, that’s our conscience telling us we’ve done something ‘wrong’? I know I was. So when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction, dealing with feelings of guilt was hard, because I assumed I was in the wrong. Here’s the thing though: addiction doesn’t play by the rules. All those ‘helpful’ tips and tools out there don’t apply to us, and our relationships, because we love someone suffering from addictio...
Why Her Son Suffers From Addiction (And Why That Matters)
November 03, 2019 09:00 - 32 minutes - 60 MBHer son (and her husband) both suffer from addiction. She has twin sons, one suffers and one doesn’t. And she thinks she knows why… Usually we don’t get into the details of why someone may suffer, but when you’re a mother with a child suffering it can be helpful. We talk about why and much more. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/podcast Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/
Why Anger Is Okay (And How To Use It For Good)
October 27, 2019 09:00 - 4 minutes - 8.31 MBSome people try to avoid their anger. And in my experience, women especially. As women, we seem to be the ones that always hold it together. So getting angry makes us look bad, like we’re falling apart. But we’re not. Here’s the truth: Anger is a very real and true emotion. And when we love someone suffering from addiction, anger is completely normal. In fact, if you think you’re not angry, I encourage you to take a deeper look at what’s really going on. Today we’ll explore wha...
How To Let Go Of Using Addiction As An Excuse
October 20, 2019 09:00 - 43 minutes - 79.1 MBI love hearing stories. It’s so powerful, and these real life examples can open our eyes and hearts to our very own potential. Today, listen to our conversation with one of our brave Love Over Addiction sisters who shares about her relationship with a good man that drinks too much. She gets brutally honest with us about the baggage she brought from past relationships, how her husband has set boundaries on her, and how she’s come to a place of compassion and gratitude. She’s found he...
Learning To Trust Again
October 13, 2019 09:00 - 8 minutes - 16 MBAddiction lies. It has to in order to thrive. And we, as the partners, loved ones, and spouses, we get the brunt of these lies. Do you feel like you’re reading into everything, questioning each detail, asking clarifying questions, or wanting them to verify their story? Do you check their phone for ‘proof’ they’re telling the truth (or not)? I did. There’s no shame or judgment here. My ex-husband lied to me constantly. So I was always on guard. I had a strong intuition, but it was conti...
Their Long Road To Recovery And Yours Too
October 06, 2019 09:00 - 59 minutes - 109 MBWhen we love someone suffering from addiction, we deeply desire for them to get sober. We dream of the day they decide to be done with alcohol, drugs, pornography, or whatever else, for good. Well today, we hear from a woman in our community who’s been married for over 35 years. And her husband has been in and out of recovery for years. She’s learned to trust her intuition, come out of denial, and discover herself, whether he’s sober or not. It’s a daily challenge for him, but she has ...