306: Theresa A. revisits

🔸 A different space. Receiving the rain.
Songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB9YIsKIEbA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=298mC2COSJg

📌 Theresa followed up: That was such a cool adventure. I get it in a deeper way now that I'm not sure I can explain. I'm so impressed with my parts, and I'm learning that, while there are a lot of things that need to be healed in there, sometimes all you need to do is reconnect to the part and see its beauty and intelligence in full sun. (I know that's always part of the process, but here it was different). She was whole despite the broken connection. It's like those friendships where you can go without seeing each other for years, and then you get together and pick right back up where you left off.

The jungle itself was her, the "picture of me" standing in the rain with an open heart... was her. She created that whole scene for me to see and understand, in a way that is definitely not rational.

I sensed that you were somehow worried that I was not "centering" Self? I dunno, it was something bigger this time than Self helps part. It was like the "Self to part" relationship was more like a "Self to part's Self" relationship. It was beyond language. It was 100% necessary for me to be in Self to get to her, but she didn't "need" me to heal her once I got there. She needed me to see that she is valuable, for my own sake. (The systems sake, more precisely). She's not mad at other parts, she's not holding grudges. She's just there. She wants me to see that they done have it all figured out. That's all.

This was a deeply meaningful session to me and I think it might have taken me a step closer to... You'll never guess. More solo practice. 🤓 Even though the two topics seemed to compete with one another at the beginning. Not saying imma do that EVERY day though, because... You know.... Parts. 😄

🔹 Parts:

P Keeps me from solo work. possibly the pusher: “do tangible stuff"
P Don't commit
P You're avoiding something
P The Believer: How would you like to be left in the jungle? Do you really wanna be without me? I am not silly / naive / gullible. Wants acknowledged and less rigidity, playfulness, go stand in rain
P The Non-Believer: The universe is cold. Sad and tired. Frantic little blue man (but that’s a facade) he’s a jungle muppet trickster. If I can’t be driving I want out.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Sounds like an off day for me. I think Theresa was right and my point was either wrong or came out wrong. Yes we let parts lead us in this process. But because I didn't catch a lot of “let me show this part compassion” moments in the convo, I was wanting to make sure Self's role was acknowledged. I trust Theresa, her process & commitment (which can lead me to more experimenting and theorizing, or just rambling, in and out of sessions). But I'm confident we'll figure it out!

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