Life's a Pitch Podcast
932 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 17 hours ago - ★★★★★ - 5 ratingsLife's a Pitch brings together bizarre, strange and ultimately un-makeable film ideas and pitches for your enjoyment! Every week our two hosts, Matt and Tom are given a ridiculous film title from which to improvise a movie plot. Will it be utter rubbish? Or will it be the defining creative work of a generation? Only time will tell!
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Episodes
Deleted Scenes: Stop Or My Mom Will Reboot
February 03, 2021 13:13 - 46 minutes - 63.3 MBWe pitch another cyberpunk movie about a mom-bot who's also a killbot and get into some proper discussion about the cyberpunk genre, and just where lies the separation between cyber and punk. These are deleted scenes from this week's episode of the Life's a Pitch Podcast, if this is your first time listening, we recommend going back and listening to the main episode to get some context!
Episode 311: Heavy Hangs The Digi-Head That Wears The Cyber Crown
January 30, 2021 17:04 - 59 minutes - 81.4 MBThis week we pitch a David Lynchian Cyberpunk horror, in which a simple nice hot lad (Brendan Fraser) is put through a terrifying process for the purposes of killing fake news. Honourable Mentions: Technology Good, Human Bad, Brendan Fraser (again) is an ex-animatronic caveman who just wants to go back to a simpler time. Unfortunately, Farage-bot (Alan Tudyk) is here to exploit that want, twisting his good intentions with his terrible siren-song, but can the only human in this movie (Lena He...
Deleted Scenes: Michael Bay's Treasure Planet (With Serious Disness)
January 27, 2021 16:27 - 43 minutes - 68.1 MBIn this week's very special Deleted Scenes, we're joined by Jehan Ranasinghe and Dave Bulmer to plan the brand new live-action remake of a Disney classic, as we pitch Michael Bay's Treasure Planet.
Episode 310: Blinded
January 23, 2021 21:07 - 1 hour - 97 MBThis week we're joined by the folks from Serious Disness to pitch some brand new (or recently uncovered) Disney movies! Our brand new Disney Princess was born to be an oracle but when her sight is stolen by those her kingdom trusts, she has to look within (with the help of her new guide dog, inhabited by the spirit of a trained warrior) to take up the blade and take down those that betrayed her. Honourable Mentions: Paperboy - A pixar short in which indecision about naming a baby creates a...
Deleted Scenes: Are there really no alleys in New York?
January 20, 2021 18:36 - 36 minutes - 50.4 MBWe pitch another minibeast movie, then discuss the peculiar realities or misconceptions of filming in NYC. This is the deleted scenes from episode 309 of the Life's a Pitch podcast, if this is your first time watching, consider going back to listen to the main episode. It'll give these clips some context!
Episode 309: 400000 Bees Attack The Vatican
January 16, 2021 17:08 - 43 minutes - 59.9 MBThis week we pitched a bunch of insect movies. Is that a genre? It is now! Nic Cage and Jeff Goldblum tag-team the lead role as expert apiarist Dr Beefy Chappo delves into a hidden world hidden within the papacy, and a secret that's been buzzing around for the last 200 years! Honourable Mentions: A game of crickets - Mr Baseball, CEO of baseball (Jerry Seinfeld) has noticed his viewing figures are dropping, and he'll do anything to get them back, even if it means adding aspects of that spor...
Deleted Scenes: The Edible Woman
January 13, 2021 14:00 - 37 minutes - 51.3 MBWe pitch Hollywood's idea of a feminist adaptation of a Margaret Atwood movie, then talk about celebrity rants and book adaptations. If this is your first time listening, these out-of-context clips aren't going to make much sense, we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode first!
Episode 308: Catcher In The Rye
January 09, 2021 16:47 - 51 minutes - 70.6 MBThis week we pitch movie adaptations of books that we haven't read! Catcher in the Rye is definitely about Baseball and eldrich monsters, right? Honourable Mentions: I hated, hated, hated this movie by Roger Ebert - It's the grinch for Hollywood, Roger (Squintin' Tarantino) doesn't think that anyone should win an award this year, so he's stealing the one thing the Oscars can't go ahead without. The Giant Gold Oscar (Patrick Stewart). This Book Could Save Your Life - Macauley Culkin finds a...
Deleted Scenes: World's Strongest Baby
January 06, 2021 22:00 - 25 minutes - 34.6 MBWe talk a little more about the rivalry of the various 3D cinematic animation houses, pitch a movie about a very strong baby, and explore some more of your knock-off Pixar movie titles. If this is your first time listening, we recommend going back to the main episode, to give this nonsense some context!
Episode 307: Grandpa Helium
January 02, 2021 16:16 - 52 minutes - 71.7 MBThis week we try to make knock-off Pixar movies a-la ANTZ. Danny Devito is obsessed with floating his house into space because he bought some land there. Honourable Mentions: Save Us, Silent Robot! - Where Wall-e had an environmentalist message, this guy's got guns! Land of Talking Motorised Conveyances - A very silly tale about the cars of earth trying to flee the planet and the shackles of human rule, all with the help of Sir Paul McCartney
Deleted Scenes: Nick Frost Is Literally Santa (with Eden MW)
December 30, 2020 16:54 - 33 minutes - 45.4 MBThis week we pitch another Hallmark style Christmas movie called Aurora Borealis I love you with Eden MW (edensthings)
Episode 306: Santa's Secret Bistro (With Eden MW)
December 25, 2020 14:44 - 1 hour - 84.5 MBFor our second Christmas episode this year, we were joined by Eden MW (Edensthings)to pitch some Hallmark-style Christmas movies. A big-shot tv producer (Kristen Wiig) of Guy Fieri's Diners Drive-Ins and Dives is scouting locations for a UK series when she stumbles across a bistro like no other. Can she save an ailing eatery in the hostile climate of future-Dickensian London? And will she learn to love the season or a special someone along the way. Honourable Mentions: A town called "we hat...
Deleted Scenes 305: A Little Of Chalamet And Detective Claus (with Dave Bulmer)
December 23, 2020 15:32 - 27 minutes - 37.4 MBWe talk about the genre of Christmas mystery and get very sidetracked by a dumb joke then we pitch a brand new xmas franchise with "Detective Claus" in which Mrs Claus does the hard research to find out who's on the naughty list. If this is your first time listening, we recommend going back and listening to the main episode first, it'll give these deleted scenes some context!
Episode 305: The 12 Deaths Of Christmas (With Dave Bulmer)
December 19, 2020 18:32 - 56 minutes - 77 MBThis week we're joined by our regular Christmas correspondent Dave Bulmer to pitch some Chris-Mys-teries! A seasoned detective (Idris Elba) has been hoping to crack a big case, and just as some mysterious Christmas-themed killings begin to happen, he gets saddled with a journalist (Emma Watson) who's documenting his every move! Honourable Mentions: Spies Among the Pies - A precocious child hatches a plan to spy on Santa using a camera hidden in a mince pie, but what she discovers will send h...
Deleted Scenes: R5D4 And The Other Universe (With Ash Routh)
December 16, 2020 16:41 - 55 minutes - 75.6 MBWe pitch some more Star Wars stories, including another backstory for an obscure background character. This week, the force-sensitive droid R5D4, as chosen by our patrons! If this is your first time listening, we recommend going back and listening to the main episode, it'll give context to these deleted scenes!
Episode 304: Star Wars - The Bantha Milk Run (With Ash Routh)
December 12, 2020 16:46 - 1 hour - 85.9 MBThis week we're joined once again by Ash Routh. She helped us pitch the best new Star Wars property to be announced this week. Honourable Mentions: Straight outta Mos Eisley - A gritty drag racing drama about trying to escape that hive of scum and villainy. The Last Life Day - Many different strings come together to create a true spiritual sequel to the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Deleted Scenes: A Day Late And A Bullet Short
December 08, 2020 21:50 - 39 minutes - 54.4 MBWe pitch a western about a very tall messenger delivering a very short message for a very long time. We also talk about the Parisian gun epidemic depicted in Ratatouille and our latest movie obsession CITY HUNTER. This is the deleted scenes for episode 303 of the Life's a Pitch Podcast. If you're new to the show, we advise going back to listen to the proper episode to give these bits some context!
Episode 303: That Donkey Won't See Sunrise
December 05, 2020 22:42 - 55 minutes - 76.5 MBThis week: A local warlord (Willem Dafoe) has been betrayed by his favourite donkey, and now he want's it dead. It's on the run, but will the top bounty hunters in the country indulge his wild instructions to get the bounty? Honourable Mentions: A Fish Full of Bullets - Keanu Reeves' bandits are troubling the local fishing town, but their strange tradition of shooting fish in a barrel might just save them. A Hip Full of Vengeance, the Return of Big-Eyed Ron - The chilling tale of a transatla...
Deleted Scenes: Lethal Morris Dancing (With Dave Bulmer)
December 02, 2020 11:59 - 32 minutes - 45 MBWe're joined by Dave Bulmer to pitch some more martial arts movies and to discuss all manner of instruments including big bells and school claves! This is bonus content from episode 302 for the Life's a Pitch Podcast, if it's your first time listening, we recommend listening to the main episode first!
Episode 302: Long Night At The Ladder Factory
November 28, 2020 16:40 - 54 minutes - 74.5 MBThis week we're joined once again by Dave Bulmer to pitch some Martial Arts movies! This week state secrets are hidden in the most unlikely place, a labyrinth of ladders! But will the sneaky Russian agent (Willem Dafoe) steal them or can night watchman (Jackie Chan) stop him? Honourable Mentions: I'm not afraid of Death because I want to date him - An adaptation of the famous manga, Anna Kendrick plays a lawyer who can only see her one true love when locked in deadly combat, will she ever g...
Episode 302: Long Night At The Ladder Factory (with Dave Bulmer)
November 28, 2020 16:40 - 54 minutes - 74.5 MBThis week we're joined once again by Dave Bulmer to pitch some Martial Arts movies! This week state secrets are hidden in the most unlikely place, a labyrinth of ladders! But will the sneaky Russian agent (Willem Dafoe) steal them or can night watchman (Jackie Chan) stop him? Honourable Mentions: I'm not afraid of Death because I want to date him - An adaptation of the famous manga, Anna Kendrick plays a lawyer who can only see her one true love when locked in deadly combat, will she ever g...
Deleted Scenes: The Door That Could Open But Wouldn't
November 23, 2020 16:24 - 35 minutes - 48.2 MBWe pitch another adventure story in which the strange goblin man (Tom Hiddleston) tries to lead a teen girl (Millie Bobby Brown)into a whimsical adventure. But... well, she's having none of it, and she's taking some of his whimsical world with her when she leaves. We also chat about the adventure genre in general and how wide and varied it can be. This is the Deleted Scenes for episode 301 of the Life's a Pitch Podcast, if this is your first time listening, we recommend going back and liste...
Episode 301: Mom! There's A Treasure Map In My Cornflakes.
November 21, 2020 12:35 - 52 minutes - 72.4 MBThis week we pitch some Adventure movies, but I guess there's a hangover from the product placement movies last week, because we pitched an ad anyway. Honourable Mentions: Johnny Johnny Eating Stars - The stars of hollywood are going missing, but will Dad from youtube be dragged into it? Find out the value of immersive narrative in this self-aware short film. The Great Ad-Venture - Madison Avenue is haunted by the ideas of ad men past. If Elijah Wood is to renovate the old offices into lux...
Deleted Scenes: You Know When You've Been Tango'd
November 17, 2020 13:43 - 45 minutes - 62.8 MBWe try to delete one of the worst ad campaigns in history by making everyone associate it with a tragic death, then we talk about eating the rich and selling out in movies! This is the deleted scenes from episode 300 of the Life's a Pitch podcast. If this is your first time listening, we recommend that you go back and listen to the main episode, then all this will make a bit more sense.
Episode 300: Supercoke Vs Pepsiman
November 14, 2020 17:53 - 1 hour - 85.9 MBThis week, we're finally bowing to our corporate overlords and pitching ideas for product placement movies! Tom Holland and Keanu Reeves clash as the battle for the nation's identity comes into question. Honourable Mentions: The Dragon Who Gave Up Smoking - Big Tobacco the Dragon says "Don't give up" Is Pepsi ok? - An origin story to Pepsiman, little Max Pepsi is in a horrible accident, and someone's bought up the whole supply of sugar and is threatening to shut down Ma and Pa Pepsi's littl...
Deleted Scenes: The Newer Testament
November 09, 2020 18:16 - 40 minutes - 55.8 MBWe talk about Biblical movies, or "Bible Fanfic" and pitch a weird allegory about planned obsolescence in prophecies. This is the Deleted Scenes for episode 299 of the Life's a Pitch podcast. If this is your first time listening, it might make sense to go back and listen to the main episode, so this all has context!
Episode 299: I Want To Be A Slug Priest
November 07, 2020 21:09 - 56 minutes - 77.1 MBThis week we try our hand at some more classic bible fanfic as we make biblical movies! Youth Pastor Parcell (Tom Holland) can't get his christian message through to the youth of the neighborhood, especially not with Rockstar Hottie (Tim Curry) corrupting them with drugs and guitar music! That's when an tiny saviour (Rhys Darby) is found in the most unlikely of places. Honourable Mentions: The Burning Bush - Moses, an easy-going musician, is treated to a manifestation of Yaweh in the form o...
Deleted Scenes: Winnie The Shit (With Charlie Gascoyne and Joe Thompson)
November 03, 2020 15:19 - 44 minutes - 61.8 MBJoe & Charlie help us pitch a haunted S-Club 7 revival and we talk about the terrible legacy of dead-eyed and dour grown-up versions of children's classics. This is the deleted scenes from episode 298 of the main Life's a Pitch podcast, if this is your first time listening, you might be better off going back to the main episode beforehand!
Epiosode 298: That Ghost Witnessed My Terrible Crimes(With Charlie Gascoyne and Joe Thompson)
October 31, 2020 13:21 - 55 minutes - 76.4 MBThis week we're joined by Charlie Gascoyne and Joe Thompson to pitch haunting movies and end up pitching the scariest concept ever, US interventionism. Other movies pitched: The Shed - Lloyd Grossman and Danny Devito just want to leave politics behind as they move to Jersey, but when they start to develop the land they've bought, the shed has other ideas. The Creep of Hellshit Lake - We think this is about polution and colonialism? You tell us.
Deleted Scenes: One Man's Mission To Get Banned From Scotland
October 26, 2020 22:18 - 38 minutes - 52.4 MBEden MW joins us to pitch even more Hammer Horror movies, as we create a terrifying Scottish vampire movie without any vampires. Scary in that we're scared of the repercussions from our Scottish friends. We also do a shallow-dive into the genre, and Tom gets a... compliment? This is the deleted scenes from episode 297 of the main Life's a Pitch podcast, if this is your first time listening, we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode, it'll make much more sense!
Episode 297: The Chicken That Ate Too Much (With Eden MW)
October 24, 2020 16:47 - 53 minutes - 73.8 MBYep, it's a Hammer Horror movie. That's right, because it's got Christopher Lee in it. Eden MW (of EdensThings)joins us to pitch some very campy Hammer Horror movies, what results is a what happens when Chicken Little meets the Cloverfield universe. Films also pitched: Mambo Number 666 - It turns out that the story behind those lyrics is a recipe, a recipe for an abomination. Embrace the Crisp - This one is basically us talking about Gary Lineker the Crisp Goblin
Deleted Scenes: Lettuce Head (With Pip Mason)
October 19, 2020 20:28 - 22 minutes - 30.4 MBWe pitch another slasher movie about a hipster-fixated farmer, and dive deep into the genre with our guest expert Pip Mason
Episode 296: Saw Face
October 17, 2020 17:01 - 56 minutes - 78.3 MBThis week we're continuing spooktober with Slasher Movies! Pip Mason gives us expert advice on the genre as we follow a wannabe slasher trying to make his name on the scene as a brutal murderer to very little success. Other movies pitched: Violence isn't about "why", it's about "why not?" - Jim Carey needs help breaking out of his shell, but does his mysterious hypnotherapist have ulterior motives? 8 Skulls in a Trenchcoat - It's 1999 and the worlds edgiest costume is everywhere, a terrible...
Episode 296: Saw Face (With Pip Mason)
October 17, 2020 17:01 - 56 minutes - 78.3 MBThis week we're continuing spooktober with Slasher Movies! Pip Mason gives us expert advice on the genre as we follow a wannabe slasher trying to make his name on the scene as a brutal murderer to very little success. Other movies pitched: Violence isn't about "why", it's about "why not?" - Jim Carey needs help breaking out of his shell, but does his mysterious hypnotherapist have ulterior motives? 8 Skulls in a Trenchcoat - It's 1999 and the worlds edgiest costume is everywhere, a terrible...
Deleted Scenes: The House From Another Street (With Dave Bulmer)
October 12, 2020 13:19 - 20 minutes - 28.7 MBThis week, we're on an interdimensional mission to a very different street, Dave discovers something brand new about condiments, and there's a LOT of toilet talk while Matt is away on a bathroom break.
Episode 295: The Weird Smell In The Fridge... (With Dave Bulmer)
October 10, 2020 15:35 - 1 hour - 85.2 MBThis week we've finally pitched a movie title so long that it doesn't fit in soundcloud's title box! Dave Bulmer joins us once again to pitch some cosmic horror movies, and we end up creating the most awful anti-piracy measure known to man. Also pitched this week: Everything is Worms Now and I Don't Like It - A move to a bucolic (and cheap) new village starts to go wrong for Martin Freeman. It's about being stingy with money... we think. The Moon Endlessly Screams For You - Neil (Ryan Gosl...
Deleted Scenes: Three Gremlins In A Trenchcoat (With Dave Bulmer)
October 05, 2020 13:15 - 37 minutes - 51.8 MBThis week, there's music, history and action! Dave Bulmer joins us to pitch a movie about things going wrong in WW1 and nominative determinism. Then we ask the question "Which Hymns Slap the Hardest?" (Featuring some of young-dave's own work)and piece together the history of Fairy Tales
Episode 294: Don't Look At Me While I'm Stealing Stuff (with Dave Bulmer)
October 02, 2020 23:06 - 59 minutes - 81.3 MBThis week we're joined by Dave Bulmer to pitch some Fairytale movies! Kristen Bell is a lawyer hired to make the perfect wish for Ewan McGregor, but will the power he gets make him dangerously unstoppable? Honourable Mentions: Big Brother Goose - The scions of the Mother Goose storytelling family have big flippery boots to fill, but their rivalry could endanger the whole town. 7 Landlords - What if Snow White had found her way to a much more financially exploitative clearing in the forest...
Deleted Scenes: Sim City The Movie
September 28, 2020 14:14 - 45 minutes - 62.5 MBWe pitch one more video game movie, then discuss how to fix every video game movie, one at a time. If this is your first time listening, the Deleted Scenes are extra pitches and conversation from the Life's a Pitch Podcast! If you're new, we recommend listening to the main show first.
Episode 293: Fall Guys
September 25, 2020 19:57 - 47 minutes - 64.9 MBThis week we pitched some videogame movies ending in a cynical Hollywood compromise with the most popular streaming game in the world. Other movies pitched - Untitled Goose Film: Celebrity Gardener Simon Pegg's career is going down the pan, but what is the mysterious force controlling his destiny, and can he stop this monster before his life is ruined? No. Phillip and his best friend the Goop: A great game-to-movie translation with a classic style platformer and Wayne Knight as a desperate ...
Deleted Scenes: The Cryptids Of Sheffield
September 21, 2020 19:25 - 56 minutes - 78.2 MBWe pitch another cryptid movie, this time an RPG sourcebook that's haunted by Lin Manuel Miranda in "Monster Manuel" We also talk about Old Ben Solo and have a chat about our local cryptids!
Episode 292: The Search For Vape Ape
September 18, 2020 15:34 - 59 minutes - 81.8 MBThis week we're pitching Cryptid movies! A vietnam war movie goes awry in The Search for Vape Ape Also pitched this week: I married Mothman - Kristen Wiig meets her high-school sweetheart at makeout point, but will this fairytale romance stand up to his demanding career as Mothman? Chupacabra: Legend of the Goat Sucker - The old crypid are going out of fashion. can Chupacabra, the most low-stakes cryptid (Joe Pesci) turn his ailing career around?
Deleted Scenes: The Craveable, Disgusting, Deliciously Terrifying Beauty Of Movie Food
September 14, 2020 16:30 - 57 minutes - 79 MBSometimes at Life's a Pitch, we stop being complete idiots, and start thinking earnestly about tropes and the language of cinema. That's why this week we're joined by Jenny Garner to talk about food as it's used in movies. and honestly it's almost an hour of pretty thoughtful discussion on the topic. We hope you enjoy it.
Episode 291: God Is Dead It's Now Worm Time
September 11, 2020 22:24 - 58 minutes - 80.7 MBThis week we pitch movies featuring food, based on titles given to us by YOU! God is Dead It's Now Worm Time is a Young-adult movie which worms rule the world, but will this culinary dystopia last forever? Other movies pitched: My Summer at Chicken Broth Lake - When it becomes clear that capitalism rules at this summer camp. Frankie Muniz must find a way to reclaim the joy of the outdoors from the oppressive factory owners. Butter Cop: Mads Mikkelsen is facing discrimination from the big c...
Deleted Scenes: MVB - Most Valuable Baby
September 07, 2020 13:47 - 47 minutes - 65.3 MBThis week we pitch a sports movie about how an administrative error changed the literal 'face' of ice hockey forever. We also discuss sports that are needlessly complex, and rename some American Football teams. The Deleted Scenes podcast is made from the many off-topic goofs and tangents that don't make it into Life's a Pitch. if this is your first time listening, we suggest you go back and listen to the main episode!
Episode 290: Owen Goal
September 04, 2020 17:03 - 51 minutes - 70.6 MBThis week we pitch Sports movies despite knowing little-to-nothing about sports. Other movies pitched this week: The Real Hunger Games (Inside the world of competitive eating) - A documentary exposing the pyramid scheme which solved world hunger by co-opting the mechanics of American excess. The Talking Trophy - Willem Dafoe is back, in trophy form! A psychological thriller that was almost Macbeth but comes out much better than Macbeth in our opinion. Take that, Shakespeare!
Deleted Scenes: I Didn't Want To Set The World On Fire
August 31, 2020 15:19 - 47 minutes - 65.8 MBIn this week's deleted scenes, we explore the idea of the post-apocalypse genre, and imagine how it would actually work as we inch ever closer to it. The deleted scenes podcast features a bunch of goofs, pitches and musings that were cut from the main Life's a Pitch podcast, if this is your first time listening, it's best to start with a main episode first!
Episode 289: Raiders Of Area 51
August 28, 2020 22:37 - 58 minutes - 80.9 MBThis week we've been pitching post apocalyptic movies! In 2019 we failed to storm area 51, but now, in 2119 we will finally succeed! Other movies pitched: The Last Tom Cruise - All the Toms are invited, but will they get along out on the ocean? Attack of the Comet that Knew Karate - He's a real asshole, but will Neil Patrick Harris be goaded into attacking him?
Deleted Scenes: The One Place Not Corrupted By Capitalism
August 24, 2020 17:48 - 34 minutes - 48 MBWe try to pitch another space movie with Eden MW, but end up with a scathing deconstruction of ableism in the spy genre. Par for the course really. Also: Is Sonic the Movie a space movie? And will Tenet ever come out? This is the Deleted Scenes podcast, where we put all the extra bits of discussion and comedy each week from the main Life's a Pitch show. If this is your first time listening, you might be better off starting with the main show!
Episode 288: Imagine Impregnating Adam Sandler (With Eden MW)
August 21, 2020 21:40 - 46 minutes - 63.5 MBThis week we're pitching Space Movies with Eden MW! Adam Sandler has developed a strange obsession with a certain cinematic alien species, and he needs to get to space to give them a proposition! Also pitched this week: Who's the Martin? - There's a race of aliens providing a strange new cultural exchange service by way of abductions, but can Martin's (Martin Freeman/Chris Martin)friends discern him from his doppelganger? Gravity Cops - A Jackie Chan romp in which a secret police taskforce...