Life's a Pitch Podcast
932 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 15 hours ago - ★★★★★ - 5 ratingsLife's a Pitch brings together bizarre, strange and ultimately un-makeable film ideas and pitches for your enjoyment! Every week our two hosts, Matt and Tom are given a ridiculous film title from which to improvise a movie plot. Will it be utter rubbish? Or will it be the defining creative work of a generation? Only time will tell!
Do you like the show? Want to help it continue to improve and evolve? Want to get extra content? Support us at: http://www.patreon.com/lifesapitchpodcast
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Episodes
Episode 335: A Man, A Plan, a Canal - Panama
July 17, 2021 13:00 - 54 minutes - 75.5 MBWe pitch some historical dramas which are definitely very accurate, and we ABSOLUTELY did not forget that Panama was a country, it was all definitely jokes. In the midst of prohibition, the Panama family is trying to get their Florida Swamp Gin to Los Angeles, but the police are blocking the way overland. There's only one thing for it, and that's to dig a little canal in a big continent using the power of Gaters. Honourable Mentions: The Great Flyer of London - When architect Samuel Pepys' ...
Deleted Scenes: My Brother The Chosen One
July 14, 2021 11:47 - 26 minutes - 36.6 MBWe pitch a movie about a chosen one, then talk about how much we dislike the chosen one trope. These are deleted scenes from the Life's a Pitch Podcast episode 334, if this is your first time listening, we recommend you go back and listen to the original episode.
Episode 334: Laser Vision High School
July 10, 2021 13:39 - 58 minutes - 81 MBAs part of our young adult fantasy episode, high school drama is brought into chaos when a magic potion brewed by a misanthropic is mistaken for alcohol and used to spike the punch, leaving all the kids with superpowers. Honourable Mentions: Pixies, Princesses and Prom - A series of shorts set over the course of a single day, in which fantasy leaks into reality. A nerd accidentally asks a wish-granting spirit to be his date, and ends up with a dangerously manic pixie dream girl. A jock drive...
Deleted Scenes: Subbuteo, Sandworms And Sylvania (With Dave Bulmer)
July 07, 2021 12:09 - 32 minutes - 45.2 MBWe discuss board game and toy movies, pitch a movie in which Gary Lineker curses some children to be shrunk into subbuteo pieces for stealing his crisps, and figure out some things about Dracula, the Sylvanian families, Dune, the 'Hot Loop' in Home Alone, and more! These are some of the deleted scenes from episode 333 of the Life's a Pitch podcast. If you want context or if it's your first time listening, we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode first.
Episode 333: The Ballad Of Stretch Armstrong (With Dave Bulmer)
July 03, 2021 13:16 - 58 minutes - 80.5 MBIn this episode about Toy and Game spinoffs, we're joined by Dave Bulmer to pitch a sad tale of exploitation and small victories in "The Ballad of Stretch Armstrong" Honourable Mentions: Connect 4: The Elements - In a world where everything is run by various combinations of elements, experimenting with new combinations can be dangerous. After a prank goes awry seemingly leading to the loss of power across the nation, one teenager must try to put the pieces back together. Sylvanian Families ...
Deleted Scenes: Help! The Beatles are Roaming Everywhere
June 30, 2021 10:08 - 28 minutes - 41.3 MBWe pitch a terrifying new brand of Beatle-Mania, talk about how we "might" have written a fan into existence, and have an "exclusive" "interview" with "Roland Emerich" These are the deleted scenes from Episode 332 of the Life's a Pitch Podcast, if you want context for these clips, we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode.
Episode 332: The Never-ending Goodbye
June 26, 2021 13:41 - 42 minutes - 59.8 MBBreaking news on the podcast this week: Disaster Movies! When disaster after disaster strikes planet earth, humanity persists, but only the media can stop The Never-Ending Goodbye. It all goes a little off the rails, honestly. Honourable Mentions: Let it Snow - A world covered in snow, no end in sight, but one old videotape of a Frank Sinatra Vegas performance could provide a clue to this endless winter, and some dark magical deals. Exploding Pants? - A 'sponsored' segment from MiPantis, pr...
Deleted Scenes: The Last Creme Egg
June 23, 2021 23:25 - 26 minutes - 35.9 MBIt's every collector's dream and nightmare at the same time. After the pope cancels easter, it's discovered that there's only one creme egg left in existence, Can Rory the Corner Shop owner and confectionary apocalypse prepper keep his prize safe without turning to violence? No. We also discuss Star Trek, the OC and sequel naming conventions for some reason. This is a collection of deleted scenes from the Life's a Pich podcast episode 331, if this is your first time listening, we recommend ...
Episode 331: A La Depeche Mode
June 19, 2021 13:39 - 50 minutes - 70.8 MBWhen it comes to food, only one band can provide your own, personal, pizza. This is a definitely accurate biopic about the creation of Depeche Mode, the band from Stoke-on-Trent who rose to fame through their culinary skills. Honourable Mentions: I left my recipe on Treasure Island - After reminiscing with his pal the Swedish Chef on a sparsely populated Muppets Treasure Island reunion, Kevin Bishop begins trying to reclaim a meatball pie recipe he can barely remember, on a journey to an isla...
Deleted Scenes: The Turtle's Head
June 14, 2021 20:41 - 56 minutes - 77.6 MBWe talk about our favourite conspiracy theories, an Ari Aster film with very life's a pitch vibes, and pitch a film about hedgehogs! Enjoy!
Episode 330: The Infinite Flat Earth
June 11, 2021 20:22 - 58 minutes - 80.5 MBThis week we delve into the world of conspiracy theories and unexplained mysteries as famous pilot Amelia Earhart goes in search of... the Infinite Flat Earth!! Honourable Mentions: Pet the Mantis: We get a deep insight into how a new pope is chosen. President Antichrist: Brendan Fraser struggles to end the world, and make his parents proud after becoming president.
Deleted Scenes: Donkey Kong - A Slip In Time (With Dave Bulmer)
June 09, 2021 19:40 - 49 minutes - 67.8 MBDonkey Kong has gone back in time to his first incarnation, but this time the evil King K Rool has everyone in the factory fooled with his crown. In this WHOLE EPISODE LENGTH deleted scenes, we also: discuss Dave's favourite video game movie adaptation, "The Mario Film"! (Super Mario Brothers: the Movie)and get all passionate about what makes a good adaptation. These are deleted scenes from the Life's a Pitch Podcast episode 329, if this is your first time listening, you might want to go ba...
Episode 329: Big Trouble in Toad Town (With Dave Bulmer)
June 05, 2021 09:47 - 1 hour - 84.4 MBIn this pseudo sequel to the 1993 classic, the world famous Mario Bros. are called to a small town where everything is not quite what it seems. Honourable Mentions: Animal Crossing - Andy Sandburg must pay his debts back to his racoon friend Tommy Nook, while avoiding the police. Wow! You look like Tony Hawk - A man having an identity crisis stumbles across a horrible conspiracy!
Deleted Scenes: The Sea Is Lava
June 02, 2021 18:15 - 36 minutes - 50.7 MBWe pitch a strange, piratical apocalypse, and this one has aliens. We also talk a lot about Waterworld.
Episode 328: Waveriders Of The Apocalypse
May 29, 2021 15:00 - 56 minutes - 77.6 MBFreedom is gone, the law in California is decided by a few drone-wielding police-oligarchs, but the waverider culture is strong and surf gangs are breaking the rules from Alcatraz to the newly-sentient Golden Gate Bridge. In this episode we blended the genre's of Post-Apocalypse and Pirate for your entertainment, what a wave to ride. Honourable Mentions: WasteLandLubber - Society has started anew, and a second age of exploration uncovers an enormous island of trash from before the fall float...
Deleted Scenes: Must I Fight My Own Sister (with Eden MW)
May 26, 2021 12:15 - 26 minutes - 36.8 MBWe pitch another fighting movie that spends more time in courtroom battles than in the ring, And we talk about just what counts as a martial arts movie. These are deleted scenes from the Life's a Pitch podcast episode 327, if this is your first time listening, we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode, to give these snippets more context!
Episode 327: It's Time To Spin The Wheel Of Anger (With Eden MW)
May 23, 2021 17:40 - 52 minutes - 73.1 MBIn a jaded society that gets its kicks from watching strangers compelled into rage-fuelled public fights, one woman must defy the odds and find a way to end this sick gameshow once and for all. Honourable Mentions: 120 minutes of Punch - One art film, two narratives. A punch seems to last a lifetime, maybe this experience isn't what the director intended, but does that make it less real? Sock the Kasbah - After the Kasbah is hit by a landslide, Joe Strummer becomes public enemy number one, ...
Deleted Scenes: My Time To Shine
May 19, 2021 13:09 - 17 minutes - 23.8 MBAnother teen party movie, this time with an activity, and a sociopathic plan to make one lonely kid feel better. This is a deleted scene from the Life's a Pitch Podcast episode 236, if this is your first time listening, we recommend you listen to the main episode first to give this snippet a bit of context.
Episode 326: Please Don't Tell My Parents
May 15, 2021 21:41 - 57 minutes - 79.6 MBThe whole world is looking forward to raucous parties when things are back to normal, so we decided to pitch some of the craziest teen party movies around, When his parents go away for the weekend, one nerd (Tom Holland) takes the opportunity -and the use of his Dad's (David Lynch) credit card- to have his first wild party. But when him and his best friend (Macauley Culkin) discover a wanted terrorist (Liam Neeson) in the aftermath, they get embroiled in a plot to destroy federal evidence. W...
Deleted Scenes: Prince Kong (With Dave Bulmer)
May 12, 2021 21:21 - 19 minutes - 27.2 MBWe pitch a King Kong prequel, Dave wastes LOADS of .wav looking for a tweet, and we figure out what other talking animals we'd need for a heist.
Episode 325: Babe (With Dave Bulmer)
May 09, 2021 19:50 - 1 hour - 91.6 MBWe're back in the reboot game and are joined by Dave Bulmer to revitalise some franchises whether they need it or not! Babe made the news as a Pig with a Job, but now it's time to assemble a crew and pull one last job to break some of his porcine brethren out of an evil farm run by a farmer (Tim Curry) that wants to turn them into meat! Honourable Mentions: John Carpenter's Garfield - It's an alien invasion, but we're far too late to stop it. Garfield has a plan to help the human race turn ...
Deleted Scenes: Doing A Rail Of The Sega-Sugar
May 05, 2021 21:01 - 51 minutes - 71 MBWe pitch another animation/live action feature in which people go into a megadrive and others come out. We also argue about Space Jam 2, then reminisce about the golden era of animation/live action and the renaissance the genre is having.
Episode 324: Crushed By My Cartoonishly Large Debt
May 01, 2021 21:41 - 48 minutes - 67.8 MBWhen animation crosses over into live-action, worlds collide and our worst anxieties are made manifest. Florence Pugh is struggling alone as her debt becomes an overflowing red problem, but is she really alone in her predicament? Glad we gave this one to David Cronenberg. Honorable Mentions: Draw Your Own Friends - Being a kid who's susceptible to everything means that making friends is incredibly difficult. One such child's imagination takes his classmates on incredible adventures, but the...
Deleted Scenes: Fly Me To The Moon
April 28, 2021 18:12 - 36 minutes - 49.9 MBFrank Sinatra is running a competition for the masses, a space race to reach his moon-casino in under a million dollars. "It's like Wacky Races meets Scrapheap Challenge" - Empire, definitely. We also discuss our top three racing movies, and stay tuned for the after credits scene from this week's main pitch!
Episode 333: Australia Highway One
April 24, 2021 19:30 - 54 minutes - 75.6 MBThis week we pitched some big-race movies! Some of Australia's best love actors battle it out in a wacky race to be the first to do a full lap of the country. But does the race's founder Hugo Weaving have an ulterior motive? Honourable Mentions: Spit/Second - when a court case deemed that spitting across the finish line contained enough DNA to construe a win, the face of professional track athletics changed forever. This documentary looks at the fallout, following the former fastest man in t...
Episode 323: Australia Highway One
April 24, 2021 19:30 - 54 minutes - 75.6 MBThis week we pitched some big-race movies! Some of Australia's best love actors battle it out in a wacky race to be the first to do a full lap of the country. But does the race's founder Hugo Weaving have an ulterior motive? Honourable Mentions: Spit/Second - when a court case deemed that spitting across the finish line contained enough DNA to construe a win, the face of professional track athletics changed forever. This documentary looks at the fallout, following the former fastest man in t...
Deleted Scenes: Cup Of Tea For A Killer
April 21, 2021 20:39 - 27 minutes - 38.3 MBA seasoned criminal and scourge of the London streets is being sat down for tea and a chat, but by the police? A rival? The press? Only Maggie Smith knows. We also talk about gangster movies and the perils of power!
Episode 322: Eggmaster
April 17, 2021 16:42 - 59 minutes - 81.9 MBThis week we're creating gangster movies, cautionary tales involving power outside of the law? Or wild legends in which the underdog seizes power? Why not both? When a washed-up TV chef becomes the center of a popular meme, he uses It to launch an organisation that will have cosmic implications. Honourable mentions: Support Your Local Girl-Gang - An ensemble cast of underfunded girl-scouts accidentally find that they're more intimidating than they expected, but can they meet their targets be...
Episode 332: Eggmaster
April 17, 2021 16:42 - 59 minutes - 81.9 MBThis week we're creating gangster movies, cautionary tales involving power outside of the law? Or wild legends in which the underdog seizes power? Why not both? When a washed-up TV chef becomes the center of a popular meme, he uses It to launch an organisation that will have cosmic implications. Honourable mentions: Support Your Local Girl-Gang - An ensemble cast of underfunded girl-scouts accidentally find that they're more intimidating than they expected, but can they meet their targets be...
Deleted Scenes: The Stainless Steal
April 14, 2021 20:36 - 22 minutes - 34.3 MBWe pitch some more heist movies, talk unearned cameo's in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, and imagine where the money goes on a bank holiday.
Episode 321: Keanu Reeves Just Wants To Rob A Bank
April 10, 2021 23:39 - 59 minutes - 83.1 MBThis week we got sneaky and pitched some heist movies with grace and panache! There’s one last thing Keanu Reeves has on his bucket list, now he’s succeeded at becoming the nicest guy, he wants to pull off a heist! Of course this might get him into all kinds of trouble, but when he’s introduced to a consortium of actor/criminals by Jobs McGhilliger/Danny Devito (Danny Devito) it becomes clear that it might not be the sort of trouble he expected. Honourable Mentions: Heist Society - A heist ...
Deleted Scenes: Some Muppets Do 'Ave 'Em
April 07, 2021 19:52 - 32 minutes - 44.9 MBWe pitch another couple of muppet movies with Dave Bulmer, including Three Muppets and a Baby, in which international relations are jeopardised by the loss of the president's child, little does she know that it's 'safe' in the hands of the muppets! Also, a bonus feature: Some Muppets Do 'Ave 'Em. A human child is born into a muppet world, how will they survive?!
Episode 320: No Country For Old Muppets (With Dave Bulmer)
April 03, 2021 16:34 - 57 minutes - 79.7 MBA family start to renovate a mysterious old theatre, where impossible friends and forgotten dangers lurk in the shadows. This week we're joined by Dave Bulmer to pitch some brand new Muppet Movies, You can find Dave and his podcasts here: https://twitter.com/DemonTomatoDave Honourable Mentions: The Island of Doctor Honeydew - Rupert Grint plays B. Kerr, an investigative reporter looking into the mysterious island of a mad scientist who has reportedly been successful in making a frog play ba...
Deleted Scenes: Sonic's Volatile Hotdogs That Literally Explode
March 31, 2021 21:10 - 23 minutes - 32.6 MBWe pitch a couple more ad-campaigns for products that would never get made, including one damage control PR campaign for some very dangerous hotdogs. This is the deleted scenes for episode 319 of the Life's a Pitch podcast, If this is your first time listening, we suggest you go back and listen to the main episode, it'll help give this nonsense some context!
Episode 319: Ad Campaigns 2 - Lost On Madison Avenue
March 27, 2021 16:46 - 45 minutes - 63.4 MBThis week we're returning to our role as wildcard ad-executives, pitching ad campaigns for everything from the City of Sheffield to Exploding Hotdogs, to haunted ham!
Deleted Scenes: Hello Mr Crisp (With Eden MW)
March 25, 2021 21:05 - 39 minutes - 54.8 MBWe pitch another Golden Age movie with Eden MW. It's like Willy Wonka but for middle aged British pub-goers. Then we discuss (and research) some of the factors that led to the rise and fall of that "golden" age.
Episode 318: A Slow Night At Mal's Diner (With Eden MW)
March 20, 2021 16:22 - 55 minutes - 76.2 MBA flashback to the golden age of cinema, this week we were joined by Eden MW (of Edensthings) to pitch this Hitchcock-inspired Film-Noir in which Jason Statham is a detective contracted by the police to investigate a mysterious location, but not all is as it seems at Mal's. Honourable Mentions: The Ascent of Mt. Rushmore - The Count of Montecristo meets The Phantom of the Opera in this golden age thriller. Funnier than a Fruit Fly - Kumail Nanjiani stars in this oscar-bait period piece abou...
Deleted Scenes: We Must End The Tyranny Of The Sun(With Dave Bulmer)
March 18, 2021 13:58 - 29 minutes - 41 MBWe pitch some more biblical epics with Dave Bulmer, and there's some very funny bits and bobs presented without context from the recording of Life's a Pitch episode 317!
Episode 317: The Greatest Story Ever Told 2: Resurrected In New York (With Dave Bulmer)
March 13, 2021 18:56 - 59 minutes - 82.7 MBIn a fit of zeal, we got together with Dave Bulmer and pitched a Biblical Epic (read: year 2000 comedy) in which Jesus (Brendan Fraser) has to stop the Devil (Elizabeth Hurley) from corrupting the human race and discrediting his humble gardener friend, all while avoiding the scrutinizing eye of the hotel manager (Tim Curry) Honourable Mentions: Job's Odd Jobs - God, after making a bet with satan, will stop at nothing to make Job's life a living hell, So he leaves the promised land and makes ...
Deleted Scenes: The Conspiracy Is A Conspiracy
March 10, 2021 17:23 - 40 minutes - 56.2 MBWe pitch a "political drama" that's actually just about remembering the 1998 World Cup England squad, then we talk about jaegerbombs, terrible politicians, and this terrifying poster.
Episode 316: I Was President For 2 hours and 6 Minutes
March 06, 2021 18:45 - 53 minutes - 74.4 MBThis week we pitched some political dramas, everyone's favourite American demon Ray Wise is being beaten to the punch on the campaign trail by a man named Dr Fascism (Willem Dafoe) so he turns to unusual means to find brand new popularity. Honourable Mentions: Walk With Me on This - What happens in those moments just before the important politician comes out of their office and a crowd of aides hand him paperwork. Well, in this movie it's a political battle all of its own. Out with the Old...
Deleted Scenes: Dr Facilier's Tales from the Other Side
March 03, 2021 18:07 - 19 minutes - 27.8 MBIn this week's deleted scenes, we pitch another Disney+ spinoff in which Doctor Facilier is basically just a murderer, then Tom has a bit of a rant about Blackjack in an excerpt from this week's honourable mention "I'll have what she's having" The deleted scenes podcast is a series of out-of-context clips and extra pitches from the life's a pitch podcast. If this is your first time listening, we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode this week!
Episode 315: DIY With Hawkeye
February 27, 2021 16:38 - 48 minutes - 67.7 MBThis week we're pivoting to pitch spinoff series, to capitalize on Disney's new slew of spinoffs and reboots. The Avengers are in a rough financial place after their only billionaire died, so some of them have to resort to some more traditional roles. But is Hawkeye leading a trail to disaster with every youtube video he uploads? Honourable Mentions: I'll have what she's having - That woman from "When Harry met Sally" is notably unfazed by an orgasmic food experience, but it's only because...
Deleted Scenes: Help! This Pirate Has Two Eyes! (With Dave Bulmer)
February 25, 2021 14:51 - 28 minutes - 39.7 MBWe pitch some more pirate shenanigans with Dave Bulmer (AKA @demontomatodave)and then Dave has a little rant about "ARRRRR!" We hope you enjoy these out-of-context snippets from the show, but they'll make a lot more sense if you've listened to episode 114 of the Life's a Pitch Podcast: "Booty!" beforehand. We, therefore, recommend doing that.
Episode 314: Booty (With Dave Bulmer)
February 20, 2021 16:55 - 59 minutes - 81.9 MBIn episode 314 of the Life's a Pitch Podcast, we are joined once again by Dave Bulmer to pitch a terifically juvenile romp about a cobbler searching for booty on a map hidden in a bootie on a place called Big Bum Island. Honourable Mentions: 100% Downloaded Crime - A team of hacker pirates surf their way into a reimagined cyberspace, braving the perils of the virus-ridden darkweb with an eye to uploading themselves into the worlds first real-life cryptocurrency converting vault. I love Stab...
Episode 314: Booty(With Dave Bulmer)
February 20, 2021 16:55 - 59 minutes - 81.9 MBIn episode 314 of the Life's a Pitch Podcast, we are joined once again by Dave Bulmer to pitch a terifically juvenile romp about a cobbler searching for booty on a map hidden in a bootie on a place called Big Bum Island. Honourable Mentions: 100% Downloaded Crime - A team of hacker pirates surf their way into a reimagined cyberspace, braving the perils of the virus-ridden darkweb with an eye to uploading themselves into the worlds first real-life cryptocurrency converting vault. I love Stab...
Deleted Scenes 313 - Hanforth Parish Council 2
February 18, 2021 14:29 - 42 minutes - 58.4 MBWe pitch the cyber-thriller follow up to the zoom call video sweeping the nation, don't worry though it has a happy ending. This is the deleted scenes for episode 313 of the Life's a Pitch podcast, if this is your first time listening, we recommend you go and listen to the main episode to get some context for these clips!
Episode 313: I Want To Lick Keano Reeves
February 14, 2021 17:15 - 57 minutes - 80 MBThis week we address some in the moment current events and cash in with some big movies pitches! 100% Cannibal Armie Hammer builds a restaurant with the express purpose of replicating the taste of a man he refers to as Keano Reeves! Honorable Mentions: Hotel Quarantino - A famous film director is stuck in a hotel, where a dream tells him he has to fall in love in order to leave the hotel. Fired: The Presidential Musical - Oh boy oh boy! It's strike three for old Trump... and there's a canno...
Deleted Scenes: Back To The Future - Stuck In The Past With Elon
February 10, 2021 13:20 - 40 minutes - 56 MBThis week we're ruining your other favourite Sci-Fi movie, Back to the Future! Doc Brown sends Marty back in time, then forces him to work off the Plutonium fuel he used getting there. These are deleted scenes from the Life's a Pitch podcast, if this is your first time listening we recommend you go back and listen to the main episode 312 first!
Episode 312: The Empire Strikes Back
February 06, 2021 17:59 - 56 minutes - 78.2 MBThis week we decided to re-pitch some of your favourite movies, The Galactic Empire has just been dealt a terrible blow after the death star exploded, hope is coming to the workers of the outer rim, and unions have started taking action, but will beleaguered middle-manager Darth (William Shatner) Vader put them down, or will the rock-n-roll up and comer Luke (Macauley Culkin) Skywalker be able to mobilize the strike the people have been waiting for? Honourable Mentions: Green Lantern - Jerem...