Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast

SS 124: Gang Bang the Mailbag 9 - Swinger Burnout, Keeping Secrets, Bad Dylan, and Callouts

~ low pitched rumble ~ ~grabs handle, pulls, rumble stops ~ *sniff* Ahhhhhhhhhhh..... Nice and clean. We listened to your voicemail (left at 573-55-SWING) and read your e-mail (sent to [email protected]) and decided to throw it all in the bag and gang bang it! We attack all your questions starting with questions about whether Dylan and Cooper really practice safe oral sex, chat about Orson Scott Card, listen to someone keep their sexual play preferences from a partner, and won...

SS 123: So It's Come To This

Everyone on the Swingset has been through an extended period of life where... there's just nothing left to give.  Shira B. Katz has a new job but can't make the time to join us every week (but she will be back!), Ginger, Cooper, AND Dylan have all moved recently.  But in between everything, life happens. Ginger chats about a surprise visit from The RopeMaster (tm), Cooper talks a little about his divorce and the process of going through one through the lens of non-monogamy, and Dylan... wel...

SS 122: Feminist Porn with Dylan Ryan

Feminist porn means a lot of things to a lot of people, but what it doesn't do is exclude people based on gender, body type, partner preference or play style. It's, paraphrasing Tristan Taormino, organic, fair trade porn. It's organic because it emerges from performers doing precisely what they choose to do, and fair trade because they participate in ethical business practices. We discuss feminist porn with Dylan Ryan and talk about the movement at large. [powerpress] Check out the Smitte...

SS 121: Gender Play & Sex with Dylan Ryan

We invite Dylan Ryan to join us for a conversation about Gender Play, fluidity, partner preferences, and gender dynamics. We look at strap-on play, sissification, power exchanges, efforts at education, and all in all... how much fun you can have fucking your partners while wearing a set of frilly panties.   Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, SWINGSET for a 10% discount! Check out the soon to be renamed Hitachi Magic Wand! You can find Ashley Manta at AshleyMant...

SS 120: Soft Swap: Oral Sex II - Fellatio (Blowjobs & Deep Throating)

Oral sex, it occupies a very prominent place in most people's sex lives, and for those of us who practice soft swapping, oral sex is often the main course. We focus specifically on fellatio today, and ... well Cooper's metaphors are terrible but it's ok... we'll keep him busy with a big fat dildo. We discuss technique, accessories (lubrication, condoms, toys, etc...), communication and negotiation, and ... get distracted. A lot. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code,...

SS 119: Soft Swap: Oral Sex I - Cunnilingus (Labia Licking)

Oral sex, it occupies a very prominent place in most people's sex lives, and for those of us who practice soft swapping, oral sex is often the main course. We're focusing specifically on cunnilingus today, and while there are many cute metaphors for it, sometimes you just need to come out and say, "I want to eat your pussy".  So... dinner is served. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out Lixx Dental Dams, available in multipl...

SS 118: Playtime Troubleshooting: How To Be Successful Fucking When Details Get In The Way

Lets Fuck. Yeah... that doesn't usually work as a pickup line. But assuming it does, there's a whole host of other things that can happen that require a little more communication than that! We deal with pre-playtime communication, getting all the details out in the open (and out of the way) with elevator speeches and negotiating consent and figuring out that playing and STDs are -not- mutually exclusive. We move into actually having sex where things don't always go as planned. Where did the...

SS 117: Hypothetical Anal Fisting, Swinging Lust, Bisexual Girl Dating, and More!

Shira B. Katz has rejoined the swingset crew! We celebrate by playing catch up! We talk about whether Cooper has been fisted, talk about where the head space is between swinging and polyamory, about girls dating girls, and really... we just slide organically from one topic to another until we've burrowed so far down into the rabbit hole it feels like ages since we looked down and said "hey... that's a big hole". Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for ...

SS 116: Gang-bang The Mailbag 8 - Swinging With Herpes & Wanting Different Things from Non-Monogamy

We're back! All four of us! That's right! We figured out how to fit Shira B. Katz into a canvas sack so we could all gang bang that mailbag together! We answer questions about couples who have an imbalance in how they play or practice non-monogamy or experience jealousy, swinging with herpes, and take praise from someone who never fails to make sure there's a towel around... just in case. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check ou...

SS 115: How Not to be a Creep - Teaching Consent and Communication with Sex Nerd Sandra

Sometimes it's hard to be awkward and unsure. It can come out as endearing, it can come out as silly, and depending on what's going on, it can come out creepy. Today on Life on the Swingset we explore creepy interactions and how they often originate with subtle but defined non-consensual behavior and that sometimes... it's just a lack of information or a lack of experience instead of someone actively playing "the creep". We... well thanks to Dylan, we start the conversation with single men ...

SS 114: Nerding Out! How to be an Educator and Still Maintain Relationships with Sex Nerd Sandra

Sex Nerd Sandra joins us for a discussion on what it means to be an educator, a resource, or some jackass that wants to relay their own experiences as gospel. After Technogeisha and Ginger join us (a bit late) we move into how relationships can get a little complicated for us z-list internet celebrities when people we meet know, and potentially assume more about us than we expect. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Je ...

SS 113: CatalystCon East Decompression - Sexy Parties, Porn Stars, and Prostate Orgasms!

We all had unique experiences at CatalystCon East, we met different people, attended different sessions, sucked different cocks, cuddled with different people, met with various porn stars, and created our own breakthrough moments. We also passed up an opportunity to use the latest Njoy prototype. We truly are horrible people. Also, the hotel couldn't wait to rid themselves of our presence. We made so many friends over the weekend, why couldn't the hotel staff be some of them? Oh Cooper, my...

SS 112: CatalystCon East Decompression - From Boy Kissing to Blanket Forts

We all had unique experiences at CatalystCon East, we met different people, attended different sessions, kissed different boys, assembled different blanket forts, and... occasionally we all got in the hot tub together, sat in the lounge together, and you know... gave our presentation. We spend the time chatting about all that stuff with a little touch of lament at the end for what could have been if for not being limited to sixty minutes. Boy, it sure is a good thing we don't have to worry ...

SS 111: In Bed With the Swingset II - Recorded Live at CatalystCon East

Cooper, Ginger, Shira, Dylan, Miko, Ophilia, and The Professor (tm) all get in one hotel room before their CatalystCon East session, hop on a couple beds, drink some wine, and have a casual conversation of how much they love each other in this episode of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast! We discuss how consistently impressive Ginger's panty selection is, and we touch... just barely touch on some of the mail that we've received and responded to, while Dylan falls completely off his rocker a...

SS 110: Sex With Benefits: Progressive Swinging, Recorded Live at CatalystCon East!

We attended CatalystCon East last week. CatalystCon, as described by Dee Dennis the founder and creator, is a conference created to inspire exceptional conversations about sexuality. It is about reaching out and stimulating those who attend to create those important conversations in their own communities, changing how we as a society talk and treat sexuality.  It is about stimulating the activist that is within all of us and sparking transformation in the way our friends, neighbors, childre...

SS 109: Reflections on Swingset Kinkery

We brought Miko Technogeisha on for a discussion on our own personal kinks, and... ended up derailed when Dylan inevitably decided to use Ginger's bedroom habits for his own personal scene. Upon attempting to get back on track Cooper sets up a second scene involving some fictional magical characters at a fictional wizardry school and...  Ginger steps out for a few! After the break we go into what it can feel like for a "less kinky" person to encounter a "very kinky" person and all around ju...

SS Special - Cooper's Mea Culpa

My name is Cooper Beckett, and I am a loudmouth. I'm extremely opinionated, and I use my little podcast as a soap box for my opinions. I'm also a snarky bastard, who enjoys giving shit to all. Just ask Dylan. This weekend, I got two emails, both taking me to task for my grumpery. I have snarked about "breeders" because I have no interest in having children. I have never seen this term as an insult, and have no issue whatsoever with children, or those who bear them. I like kids, I like people...

SS 108: Gang-Bang the Mailbag 7 - Politics, Time, Consent, & Swinging

We're taking another dip into the calm waters of the lake of reader submitted questions for our seventh Gang-Bang the MailBag episode! After what seems like thirty minutes of business and random thought salad, we discuss being a discerning connoisseur of swing partners, trying to find time to really meet minds with a group of progressive swingers while having limited amounts of time, discussing the old #1 rule that women make the rules, and politics and self-selection in finding playmates. ...

SS 107: Parenting & Non-Monogamy: Sex Positive Parenting Continued with Guest Airial Clark

Many of us in the lifestyle are parents and can sometimes feel alone when addressing issues regarding child development and age-appropriate ways of discussing sexuality. Airial Clark wowed us so much the last time she was on, we asked her to come back! Today, Dylan stumbles over trying to figure out how not to repeat the "find your father's pornos" way of discovering sexuality, Shira appreciates the depth of knowledge Airial has on non-monogamous households and the benefits and extra issues...

SS 106: It’s Naked Party Time - Throwing a Sexy Party with Guest Reid Mihalko

Cooper and Dylan throw some great swinger parties, but not always by design. Much like their journey into non-monogamy, a combination of moxie, trial and error, and luck has combined to create some wonderful stories. Reid Mihalko on the other hand has spent time and effort learning how carefully crafting group dynamics create the best chance of worthwhile parties for everyone, and not necessarily just with swingers. He joins us tonight for a discussion on sexy parties! Check out the Smitte...

SS 105: In The Butt - Prostate Play & Anal Sex - Guests: Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian

butts. prostates, both male and female. We're talking all about the rear, from preparation to insertion to orgasm and beyond! Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian, authors of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure join us to chat about anal sex, and what it means for men to be on the receiving end of penetrative sex. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Fuze Halo Buttplug! Check out The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Ple...

SS 104: Confidence Is Like A Magic Wand - Building Confidence and Using It

After Shira tells us a bizarre story of having her upper lip devoured by a creeper at a club, Cooper talks about falling in love. This leads to a discussion on his developing confidence, and then to the broader topic of how to be confident, how to build it, and how to wield it.   [powerpress] Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Silicone Bit Gag by Spartacus Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us k...

SS 103: Sex & God - Religion, Swinging, Polyamory, & Sin with Darrel Ray

"Hey Cooper... tell us how you really feel!" "Well alright then."  We've discussed organized religion and how it's affected our own relationship with sexuality, how it influences our community as a whole and... at times, indelicately pointed out where we take issue with its monopoly on morality and its right to judge what's acceptable and what's not.  We finally said fuck it, threw up our arms, and invited Darrel Ray, author of the books The God Virus: How Religion Affects Our Lives and Cu...

SS 102: Sex Positive Community Building & Conferences - Guest Dee Dennis from CatalystCon East

Dee Dennis decided to join us for a discussion on building sex positive communities (and the perils within doing so), and how to translate that into a great conference experience! It's apropos as she's also the founder of CatalystCon so... we chat about that just a little bit. :) Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Aneros Helix Prostate Massager! Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're co...

SS 101: Introduction to Progressive Swinging

For Episode 101 we thought giving a brief "101" lecture on Progressive Swinging felt right. So, we reintroduce and define what we mean by Progressive Swinging, and give you the very basics; what you need, what to expect, and how to proceed. We've approached the basics before, communication, introductions, prep work, but this time with give it to you with a different goal in mind, how to enter into Progressive Swinging. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingse...

SS 100: Looking Back, and Forward to Another 100 Episodes

This... is episode 100. We thank our guests, our previous co-hosts, we yell at each other, unbridled chaos abounds everywhere. It's a full 90 minutes of the four of us enjoying each other. Pure joy, true love... To another 100 episodes we go! Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

SS Special: Origin Stories: My Journey into Non-Monogamy, a Dylan Story

Not all of you have been listening weekly for three years (probably... maybe) so by extension, not all of you know how we got here and what we lived through before we discovered these lifestyles we lead. So I'm Dylan, and I'm telling you my story, now. It's long, I spend the first ten minutes talking about pubescent erections but it all leads somewhere, and if you're interested... I'll take you on my little journey through the dark ages of my own sexuality and into my non-monogamy. Check o...

SS 099: The Swingset Takes Desire Debrief - Sexy Times In Mexico

After a slight delay, the Swingset crew talk Life on the Swingset's first trip to Desire Resort & Spa in Cancun and squick Shira B. Katz right the hell out. We lament the shortness of our jaunt to paradise, and talk about what we hope to do next time.

SS 098: Smitten Kitten Presents The Holiday Sex Toytacular 2!

Clare from Smitten Kitten returns to discuss bad toys with us, and our toy wishes for the holiday as we discuss sex toys even more! Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

SS 097: Smitten Kitten Presents The Holiday Sex Toytacular!

Hi everybody, it's the Life on the Swingset annual Toytacular event! We're in year three of recommending the best and most interesting toys we've played with, and laughing about the worst and worst designed toys we've suffered with. We bring Claire from the Smitten Kitten Online into the conversation and riff on... oh, something like 40 or more toys. Hop on and bring a pad of paper!   Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

SS 096: Sex Positive Parenting with Airial Clark!

Parenting when you're a swinger or a polyamorist isn't easy is most definitely not a topic that's well documented. Luckily Airial Clark has been picking up the slack! She joins us for a conversation on how to be  a parent and straddle the line between too soon and not soon enough. We discuss the advantages and hurdles children may encounter when coming up against an aggressively monogamist society, and all in all, how to stay sex positive.   Check out the Smitten Kitten Online's Intimate O...

SS 095: The Swingset Takes Desire - Live With Tequila Body Shots

Cooper, Ginger, and Dylan brought Marilyn, The Professor, Tonia, and 30+ couples with them to Desire in Cancun, Mexico! 18 months of foreplay result in good feelings, a little crying, lots of sexy time, and a terribly unstructured but incredibly fun to record podcasting session where we discuss introductions, making moves, saying no, and just being part of the flow. This... is Life on the Swingset, recorded on-location, in paradise. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online store! (Don't forget ...

SS 094: Shira Takes Over the Swingset

When the Swingers are away the Katz will play!   Shira B. Katz has taken over the Swingset, and has enlisted her husband of mythical proportions Gavin Katz.  The hosts of Pedestrian Polyamory (cheap plug) aren't necessarily talking about Polyamory this week, but their ventures into a Swinger party.  Comparisons are made between the two cultures, Shira wants to ride the Swing Train, and Gavin wants to hit her with one.  

SS 093: Gang-Bang the Mailbag - Double Penetration II!

We're up for a second round of double penetration! That'd be double, double penetration.... Hmm... Anyway, We're back with questions about what to do about party invitations when you have a couple that breaks up, bringing up the cultivation of poly relationships with swinger friends, long distance relationships, partners leaving the lifestyle and potentially their relationships, being and dealing with self-consciousness about cock performance and size, the "genderless", the difference betwe...

SS 092: Gang-Bang the Mailbag - Double Penetration!

Today on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast, we take your questions and give you sweet, delicious, custard filled answers. We talk about metamores not getting along, reading your partners' e-mails, the struggle to decide whether to let a swing partner cum inside your partner, swinging with a cancer conquering sexy body, our horrible, horrible fetlife profiles, our opi... well ok we covered a lot today and we'll cover a lot next week as we run hot right up to the edge of our trip to Desire.

SS 091: Open Sex Positivity - Spreading the Good Word

Kendra Holliday joins us in a discussion on how to be open and sex positive while still staying friendly and approachable. Our discussion heats up when Dylan suggests that he misses Rick Santorum competing for the Republican presidential nomination because it was such a great opportunity to discuss sex positivity in comparison to the extreme positions Santorum took on... well everything from sex's role to women's health, and cools back down once we all figured out that we're all best served ...

SS 090: Two Years Out Of The Closet - Kendra Holliday is Open

Two years ago a woman by the name of TBK visited us here on the Swingset to talk about her life, and her website, The Beautiful Kind. We heard back from her after she came out as Kendra Holliday and listened as she described the liberation of being out and the frustration of being under attack from all sides for her decision. Today she rejoins us and lets us know how she's progressed on her journey from a simple webmistress to a founder of Sex Positive St. Louis, as an activist, as a mother,...

SS 089: Drama and Unreasonable Requests in Swinging & Polyamory

A listener's story about the unreasonable request from a swing friend for the husband in a couple to impregnate her, leads us into a discussion about what is acceptable and not to ask of your partners in swinging & polyamory, and also what to do when the dreaded drama rears its ugly head.   Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

SS 088: Polysaturation and Swing Overload - Too Much of a Good Thing

Our good friends SFCuties asked us, "Is there a swinger version of PolySaturated, and what would it be called?" We take on this challenge tonight, going through what it feels like to be polysaturated and smitten with what we call, "swing overload". Shira B. Katz regales us with tales of her time at Burning Man including good times at the indoor airconditioned sex dome, which then disintegrated into discussion about body odors in the context of orgies.   Join the Swingset crew at Desire Re...

SS 087: Gangbang the Mailbag IV: Divorce or Cheating, Nuclear Situations, New to Parties, and Escalating Friends with Benefits

SS 086: Beautiful Pornography and the Art of the Blowjob

Amidst the endless bang bus, humiliation porn, and ass to mouth videos, one site stands out as something completely different: TheArtOfBlowjob.com, featuring a gorgeous redhead named Camille Crimson giving slow, artistic, fun, and sexy blowjobs to her man. The Art of Blowjob is leading a charge toward a different landscape of porn with more beauty in it. PR and Marketing Director for The Art Of Blowjob, Sophie Delancey joins us to talk about the beautiful porn she manages, what she thinks ab...

SS 085: Foreplay, Fiveplay, Sixplay, Orgy!

Foreplay... it's what we sometimes don't have time for, but apparently what we all desperately want more of! Whether it's giving, receiving, taking hours, or taking a few minutes, we take the time to discuss what we like, why we like it, what we do for other people and why we do for other people and figure out that sometimes all a situation can be -is- foreplay. Ginger reveals her secret mutant ability, the stealthy surprise orgasm and Shira reveals she's only recently gotten into receiving...

SS 084: Cultivating Swinging & Polyamorous Relationships

We explore cultivating relationships from both the swinging perspective and polyamorous perspective. Ginger feels ready to get out there and meet some women to date. Cooper has an important (and easy) relationship discussion with his girlfriend about their involvement level and expanding his dating. Time is a very important factor, as is relationship structuring, but it can be hard going in with very low expectations. Google Calendar again emerges as the cornerstone of non-monogamy. Shira ta...

SS 083: The Pick-Up In Non Monogamy with Cunning Minx

The Pick-up, we discuss vanilla pick-up culture briefly while moving into how to be picked up, how to message people online, and meeting people in real life. The concept of a codex, or a user manual (RTFM!) for potential hookups and dating partners to use comes up and we spend a lot of time figuring out what goes into it and what it actually means. While we lose a Ginger this episode, we pick up a Cunning Minx and have a great time!   Minx's User Manual Cunning Minx on Twitter Polyamory...

SS 082: Geeksexuality - Making Porn, Bisexual Males, Bush, & Quantum Physics

We are joined by Ned & Maggie Mayhem, geeksexual porn stars who's mantra is to just be themselves in porn. We gush over them a while, Cooper admits their site is the first porn site he's ever paid for. The discussion leads to making porn, bringing toys into the bedroom, male use of the Hitachi Magic Wand, male bisexuality in porn, and identifying as queer.

SS 081: Open SF Debrief III - Learning to Speak Up, Browsing SF, and a Farewell Lunch

We finish our debrief from our experience at Open SF Non-Monogamy Conference. We discuss seminars we attended, Dylan laments falling asleep, Cooper explains how The Brown Eyed Girl took them all out for a spin around town and how he learned to ask for what he wants, we break in the middle for a little discussion on companies who take public stances on issues, and we end with a farewell lunch on Monday with Pepper Mint.

SS 080: Open SF Debrief II - Magic Brownies, Presentations, Hot Tubs, Flirting, & Sex

We continue our debrief from our experience at Open SF Non-Monogamy Conference. We discuss seminars we attended, including Charlie Glickman, Tristan Taormino, and the presentation we gave. Cooper gets a magic brownie and tries to pick up a Brown-Eyed Girl, and talks about how incredibly charming The Professor is. The gang goes on a San Francisco odyssey to find a hot-tub in the hills, and Dylan gets a girl.  

SS 079: Open SF Debrief I - Dom/sub, Sex Parties, & San Francisco

The gang begins their full debrief from the Open SF Non-Monogamy conference. Cooper experiences both Dom and sub play in a single night, and processes his feelings on Domination, humiliation, choking, as well as being flogged, spanked, and fondled. Dylan holds court and plays Cards Against Humanity with friends. Ginger and the Prof discover the fuck monster at the Pink Play Party. Shira brings a two boys to their first play party.

SS 078: In Bed With The Swingset - Flirting, Drinking, Safe Words, A Sex Toy Box, & Chaos

The Swingset crew is drinking in bed together at the Open SF conference. For a good long while we giggle and talk of almost nothing. Dylan shamelessly flirts with the ladies. We move on to talking about Dom/sub play, and Cooper's fears getting into it. The discussion leads to relationship safe words and the Get Out of Jail Free Card in dealing with relationship conflict. We talk aftercare and then dig into Cooper's sex toy box while Dylan just wants to make out with Ginger's thigh.

SS 077: Sex With Benefits – Progressive Swinging – Live From The Open SF Conference

The Swingsetters are live in San Francisco at the Open SF Conference on non-monogamy to discuss Progressive Swinging, where swingers are gradually sliding down the spectrum toward long term relationships, and even !!GHASP!! love. We take questions from the audience and Cooper gets all riled up.