Reinventing Dating with Kira Sabin
344 episodes - English - Latest episode: 1 day ago - ★★★★★ - 183 ratingsWe all want love, but most of us don't want to date to get it...because dating kinda sucks. That's why I'm Reinventing it.
Welcome to Reinventing Dating! A podcast from Positive Psychology Coach, Kira Sabin that helps singles learn the foundational knowledge & skills to date like you f*cking mean it.
Join Kira weekly, for short, smart & sweary conversations on what's working in dating, what's not, and where we go from here.
Because love isn’t broken, but dating is. Let’s fix it.
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Episodes
Can You Find Love If You Don't Love Yourself?
November 02, 2016 17:09 - 12 minutes - 23.6 MBNothing sucks worse than when you are feeling down in the dumps, not sure why you are single and someone says to you "you can't find love until you love yourself". ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? If that is true, then we might as well go grab our wine and netflix and give up, right? Nope. Today, I am going to break down what that REALLY means and how we can hack it a little. Sound good?
Why I Used To Be Funnier...
October 27, 2016 20:31 - 11 minutes - 21.9 MBOh witty banter. I used to be hooked on it like a drug. But at one point, I realized that my snark was hurting, not helping me create healthy relationships. Listen to my story today on how why I used to be funnier and why I changed.
What to do when you behave badly
September 21, 2016 16:00 - 11 minutes - 20.3 MBLast night I was a shit show. There was whining, crying, a mild temper tantrum and so much more. In my former life, I would have lost my shit and feared that it was too much. That I had fucked it up. That it was over. But things are different now and I am going to tell you how. And if you are ready to make this different, join me in the next Owner's Manual class. Check it out here!
Give Up Your Plan B
September 15, 2016 18:45 - 11 minutes - 20.3 MBIt's happens to the best of us. Even if we are out there trying, dating, mating all of the things, a lot of the time we keep a plan b. Someone on the other end of the computer/phone who will text us when we are feeling lonely or need a little attention. Today, I share my personal story about my plan b and how I finally gave it up to create an awesome relationship! Don't forget to join me Sunday night for my free class! Sign-up here!
Put Down Your Fucking Phone!
September 07, 2016 16:00 - 14 minutes - 25.9 MBI am celebrating my two year anniversary soon and as a recovering fixer and super independent, this is a big deal for me. But there was a moment in the beginning that I know can see was a turning point for me. If I wouldn't have been able to speak up and get past it, we probably wouldn't be here today. I am going to share that story today and if you want to learn how to ask for what you need in a relationship, join me in the Owner's Manual Class in October! Join me here.
Why Dating for Potential Makes You An Asshole
August 31, 2016 16:00 - 10 minutes - 18.8 MBConfession time...did you know I am a recovering fixer? Yup. It used to be a major problem. But not only did it not get me to the relationship I wanted, it ultimately made me an asshole. Let me break down for you why it's important to not date for potential and why you need to change it. Plus, work on changing it in the next Owner's Manual Class with me. Check it out here.
Are you choosing love or fear?
August 24, 2016 16:00 - 12 minutes - 23.7 MBHey there Hot Pantses! Today I am talking about one of my favorite topics when it comes to dating and relationships. Making decisions out of love or fear. So many things we say in the name of love are not actually love at all. I will be breaking down the difference today and give you something to think about. Don't forget to check out our trips at LOAS Travel!
The Truth About Settling
August 17, 2016 16:00 - 8 minutes - 16.4 MBOh Hot Pants... I am channeling some Pat Benatar today and am All Fired UP! Let's talk about this scary word "settling" and what it REALLY means. Trust me, I have some big thoughts that are going to change the way you think of settling. Who's excited! Don't forget there are a couple of spots left to my Costa Rica retreat in Feb, 2017. Check it out here.
What is your goal in love?
August 10, 2016 17:00 - 12 minutes - 22.2 MBIf you are single, you have a job to do. Maybe you didn't know that...but I am here to tell you the truth! Your job, as I break it down on the podcast today, is to know understand what your true goal is in love. Is it crazy chemistry? A long-term relationship? The whole kit and kaboodle? That's great! Then are you living a life and making choices to get there? I am laying it down today. Join me.
The REAL Problem with Ghosting
August 03, 2016 17:00 - 6 minutes - 12.3 MBGHOSTING!!!! I pretty much think it is the bane of our existence in dating. Dramatic, maybe. Untrue? Nope. Ghosting is pretty much crap for lots of reasons...I wrote the article about that here. But today I break down the REAL reason that ghosting is a problem for everyone! Check it out!
How Travel Changed My Love Life
July 29, 2016 17:22 - 10 minutes - 19.9 MBWe have apologies, announcements, haikus, jedi mind tricks, everything all over this episode. But if there is one thing it is....it is real. Because it is my goal to start doing more podcasts and just sharing my knowledge. Even if it sounds awkward... You're welcome. Check out the new singles travel site and join me in Costa Rica! http://loastravel.com/
We Are All About 5 Seconds From Bat Shit Crazy
March 18, 2016 16:29 - 18 minutes - 33 MBI have been known to buy a ticket on the crazy train once or twice:) Listen up as I breakdown the difference about truths vs stories in our heads and how they can affect our new relationships. Oh, and I share a "Kira being ridiculous" story to help you learn. My pain, your gain. You're welcome...:) Want to join me in Greece? Otherwise, find out info about the Owner's Manual Class here or work with me one-on-one!
What Happens When Shit Gets Real In A Relationship
March 03, 2016 21:09 - 11 minutes - 20.7 MBShit just got real. I think when we are dating and all things seem lovely and everyone is on their best behavior, we forget about the shit. The bad days. The rough times. The days we are just not fucking winning at life. This is a story about those times:)
Why You Should Stop Looking For Love
February 19, 2016 07:24 - 8 minutes - 11.6 MBNo, I am not trying to be a super downer. I am a life coach for God’s sake. I think we know I am am mostly rainbows, unicorns with a side of sugar cookies. The good kind. With sprinkles. But we are not fucking around here, people. Love is too amazing to be messed with. Today I am going to shake shit up by letting you know why you immediately need to stop looking for love and what you need to do instead. Listen here.
Want Love? Give Yourself A Fucking Break!
February 19, 2016 07:09 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBWhy are all so fucking hard on ourselves? Seriously, that shit is killing us! Today, I breakdown why that feeling not only sucks but is pretty much the biggest (love) sabotage ever. I also give you three ways to start getting past all of that.
Stop Waiting For Someone To Complete You!
February 19, 2016 07:06 - 8 minutes - 12.2 MBSeriously....stop doing that shit. Today I am going to break down the two reasons people have relationships and which one is killing you (Hint: it's the "complete me" reason)...cause I am good like that.
Are You Making People Feel Special?
February 19, 2016 07:03 - 8 minutes - 11.2 MBBringing it down for a minute today... Listen up as I share my very first theory about love and it just might change your life. Seriously! Would I lie to you? Your adventure for today: Journal the shit out of these questions. When was the last time you just showed up as completely you and made someone feel really, really special? Leaving the worries behind. When have you approached someone with a child-like curiosity and collected their stories like fireflies? Gone slow enough to ge...
Three Signs You Are Not Ready For Love
February 19, 2016 06:46 - 10 minutes - 14.8 MBOH SHIT. It is gettin' real today. Real good, that is. Today is a big ass reality check about no matter how much you bitch about it over wine, are you actually ready for love? Listen up as I break down my thoughts on how to detect about whether or not you are even ready for love if someone great shows up.
Love Is Going To Be Messy. Stop Making Excuses
February 19, 2016 06:43 - 7 minutes - 10.1 MBOh shit. It is gettin' real today. Real good, that is. Today is a big ass reality check about (complicated) dating over 35 and what we need to do about it. Listen up as I break down my thoughts on settling, divorce and dating with kids. It's smart, but a doozy.
Men Can't Read Minds...Get Over It
February 19, 2016 06:40 - 6 minutes - 9.26 MBWant a psychic? Hire one. Want a relationship? You effin' create. Men aren't mindreaders. Listen up as I break down how we need to stop believing that people love us more if they can read our minds. That is looney tunes and kicking your ass...
Closure Is Effin' Overrated
February 19, 2016 06:38 - 15 minutes - 21.5 MBI have a friend and she wrote a book. It is all kinds of genius. I have her on today as my first ever guest, Andrea Owen, talking about everything you need to know about closure, effed-up relationships and how to get over them. You want to listen.....immediately. Find Andrea's free chapters and bonus items here and make sure to get on over to amazon and pick up your copy today!
Five Types Of People You Should Run From Immediately!!
February 19, 2016 06:35 - 9 minutes - 13.6 MBDon't you wish you had a crystal ball to see in the future if your new relationship will all work out? Well you can't so get over that shit now. However, there are very tell tale signs of people who aren't really ready for a healthy relationship right now. Listen up as I break down five different personalities that you you should run (not walk) away from.....immediately!
Can Men And Women Be Friends?
February 19, 2016 05:34 - 12 minutes - 16.7 MBCan men and women be friends? It is one more in the Kira Chronicles where I am sharing my own mistakes and heartaches for your learnin'. You're welcome. Listen up as I talk today about my own personal story of thinking I knew what love was and being absolutely and completely wrong.
Are You Too Intimidating For Love?
February 19, 2016 05:30 - 8 minutes - 11.4 MBSometimes we like to pretend, don't we? Pretend that we have all of our shit together and have everything all figured out. You and I both know that is bullshit, right? Listen up as I talk today about my own personal story of being too awesome and it biting me in the ass.
Do You Want Love Enough To Ask For It?
February 19, 2016 05:29 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBSo I spent a lot of my life waiting for love to find me.... It took me a long time to realize that I was the one pushing it away by just not asking for it! Listen up as I talk today about a personal story that left me with a huge a-ha moment and changed the way I look at love and relationships.
Dating Myths That Are Kicking Your Ass
February 19, 2016 05:27 - 8 minutes - 11.9 MBI can not lie, we believe a lot of crap when it comes to love. Ideas that keep us super duper safe and making excuses of why love is not working for us. Listen up as I talk today about dating myths that even the smartest of smarties are buying into and is kicking your ass. It's a good one.
I Am Not Happy...But I Love Him
February 19, 2016 05:24 - 7 minutes - 10.6 MBSometimes we blame lots of the bad stuff on love. True story. We allow shitty behavior to happen and call it love although it has NOTHING to do with it. Listen up as I talk today about why that isn't love and what you can do about it. Your Adventure for Today: WHEN YOU ARE IN THAT “SICK TO YOUR STOMACH” UNHAPPY FEELING (IN ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP), I WANT YOU TO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE STICKING AROUND BECAUSE OF LOVE OR FEAR AND WHAT YOU CAN DO TO START CHANGING THAT.
How To Be An Adventurous Single
February 19, 2016 05:21 - 11 minutes - 15.2 MBDating can be complicated...... However, there are small mindsets that can make it all quite a bit easier and the dating jedi or ninja you secretly know you are. So grab your light saber or black belt and listen in as they are laid out in this 10 minutes of genius I made just for you. Cause I sure think you are awesome.
Seriously, That Rejection Is Not Actually About You
February 19, 2016 05:18 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBRejection sucks. But what if that last rejection was actually not about you? Or really any of them for that matter.... Here are my pretty darn smart thoughts on the way we love and why we can't really take a break-up so stinkin' seriously. Plus, you are going to get to here about a somewhat-ridiculous, personal kamikaze mission I did myself. Listen up, Chachi! Your Adventure for Today: When you find yourself in a new possible relationship that doesn’t feel right, step back and ask if yo...
Do You Want Love More Than Fear?
February 19, 2016 05:15 - 8 minutes - 11.1 MBStupid fear. Sometimes we are pretty darn good at convincing ourselves that our excuses are the real reason we don't have a relationship. "We just didn't have instant chemistry." "I am not going to settle!" Those look like you are taking care of yourself but really....they are fear. Here are my thoughts on it. Your Adventure for Today: Journal on these questions. Do you want love? Do you want a relationship? Do you want it more than the fear of rejection? What are you doi...
Start From The Ending
February 19, 2016 05:10 - 6 minutes - 9.23 MBOccasionally, life hits us over the head with an idea over and over again until we figure it out. That is what this podcast was for me. Listen in on how this mind-blowing idea will change the way you date. I am serious....it is that good. YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: What could you begin doing differently when meeting new people to start things the way you want them to end? BONUS: I am going to share a song by one of my favorite artists from college, David Wilcox. I woke up with this son...
Never Underestimate The Need For Attention
February 19, 2016 05:06 - 8 minutes - 12.3 MBThey may not even know they are doing it, but people love attention. However, it is your job to make sure you are not just giving it away and getting nothing in return. Left angry, frustrated and confused. Listen in on how to tell if something is using you for attention and what the hell to do about it! YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: How are you teaching people to treat you when you first meet them? Are you bending over backwards and are you willing to do that for the rest of the relation...
I Admit It! I Have Been Known To Fake It
February 19, 2016 04:47 - 7 minutes - 9.95 MBSeriously, it might be a problem. No you dirty birdies, I am not talking about orgasms! Get your head out of the gutter. What would your mother think?! I am talking about how I get up every day and fake most parts of my life. Definitely this business, but plenty of other stuff too. Listen in on how and why I fake it every day and how it can work for you too. Especially when it comes to love. I am serious! YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: Stop overthinking everything and start letting ...
Stop Making Up Stories In Your Head That Aren't True!
February 19, 2016 04:12 - 8 minutes - 11.5 MBSeriously, stop doing it. It is so beneath you. What do I mean? Here is what I mean. I regularly get to talk to really smart and amazing singles. However, sometimes we start to talk about a past situation they are stuck on or a mediocre situation that is still hanging around in the air like a bad cheese smell and the smart and amazing gets thrown out the window. They all of a sudden get that whiney sound in their voice and say something usually like “I know they are {fill in totally crappy...
How To Let Someone Know You Are Interested Without Make An Ass Of Yourself
February 19, 2016 04:07 - 7 minutes - 10.8 MBTruly, it is easy peasy. I believe that if there is one thing I have learned in this awesomesauce journey of being a life coach for singles, it is that we make many parts of meeting people and starting relationships WAY MORE COMPLICATED than we have to. We are all so stinkin' scared of getting hurt that we are creating weird ass lists, rules and games to pretty much guarantee no one is getting close to us. EVER! Check out the easy way to do this without making an ass of yourself. Your A...
Guess What? You Probably Suck At Relationships
February 19, 2016 04:04 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBTrue Story. I realize that I am cotton candy and rainbows most of the time, but this podcast is about hard-core truths! Quit your whining...there is some really good stuff here today! Listen in as Kira drops some knowledge on the difference between love and relationships and which one you should be looking for. Also, a mindset that will help you move into better relationships when you find them. It's pretty good stuff, promise. Your Adventure of the Day: Take a step back and look at you...
Can We All Just Give Each Other A Break Already?
February 19, 2016 03:51 - 6 minutes - 7.97 MBWARNING!!! I may have been a little salty on this podcast and pretty....let's use the word frustrated, shall we? It is just such an important topic and one that we all need to hear and talk about. So please ignore my feistiness if it offends, but hear the message behind it. It is a doozy. Listen below to this feisty, frustrated, saltiness that is all meant with love:) Your Adventure of the Day: Everyone has something to teach you and even if you have dug in a little and are seeing ...
WTF? Why Do Guys Do That?
February 19, 2016 03:45 - 7 minutes - 8.56 MBWe all have had the moments when we are out there dating and all of a sudden are asking ourselves... WTF?! I mean really...why do guys do that? Listen to my latest podcast that lays down some truth bombs about what to do when we get stuck in that WTF place. Your Adventure of the Day: Journal on these questions and feel free to share your answers below. Create a list of all of the WTF’s in your life. Whether they are with someone you are seeing, friends, family or even co-workers. If y...
Why Ghosting Makes You An Asshole
February 19, 2016 03:41 - 8 minutes - 9.34 MBWell shit! I blogged about this a while ago, but it needed to be said. Out loud. To the masses. Yes, I am being dramatic. I can't even try to tell you how many times I hear the stories. "We had a couple of dates, I was interested and then I never heard from them again!" I mean, what? What about dating nowadays says that you don't need to let someone know you are interested? That letting them hang there, wondering what the heck happened, has become ok? I am on a mission to cha...
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants....Or Does It?
February 19, 2016 03:34 - 7 minutes - 8.65 MBOh, the heart. It plays such an important role in love.... It leads you towards love and even breaks a little when it is over. OR DOES IT??? Listen to my latest podcast that lays down some truth bombs about the heart and all of it's wily ways. Today's hard core truth: We can't always help who we are attracted to, but we DO get to choose if they stay in our life. Your Adventure of the Day: Journal on these questions and feel free to share your answers below. What bad behavior and excu...
Why Do You Even Want A Relationship?
February 19, 2016 03:27 - 7 minutes - 8.62 MBSo you say you want a relationship. Ok, why? When was the last time you sat down and really asked yourself that question? It is something I ask every potential client and many of them don’t have the answer. It is just assumed as the next step in so many people’s lives. But if you have no idea what you are looking for how will you know when you have found it? Today, I am going to break down some thoughts for you on what is going to point you in the healthy direction of a relations...
Why Your Trust Issues Are About You!
February 12, 2016 17:00 - 8 minutes - 12.1 MBFucking trust. It comes up a lot with my clients. And why wouldn’t it? Let’s be honest, there are a lot of shit relationships out there and if you have been dating for awhile there is a pretty good chance you have been in at least one. You probably have even caught yourself saying "I feel like I can't trust anyone." But today I break down that is not about them, Sugarpants. That shit is all about you. Listen here.
Why You Are Not Dating Great Guys
February 12, 2016 17:00 - 9 minutes - 13.3 MBOne day, I woke up and didn’t want to date unavailable men anymore and I had to have a tough moment where I needed to fess up to myself that it was ME choosing them. Again and again. I was the one buying the ticket to the crazy train and that shit was on me. Today, I break down what I have learned about why I was dating unavailable men and how I changed it. Learn from my mistakes, grasshopper.
The Most Important Thing You Need For Love
February 12, 2016 17:00 - 10 minutes - 14.3 MBIt is 2014. Things are different than ever before And you have to be ready. Today, I breakdown one thing we are forgetting about love and relationships nowadays and is the most important thing. Let me know if you agree. Here is the original Psychology Today article.