Kings of Democracy artwork

Kings of Democracy

115 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 45 ratings

The official podcast of the United States of America and everybody who lives in it or ever has or ever will. Two semi-decent historians and occasional comedians tackle American history, one person, place or thing at a time.

Comedy History america u.s government american history american culture historical comedy united states of america american military history
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Episodes

Leif Erikson: Very Nautical

October 09, 2022 00:00 - 1 hour - 62.6 MB

Hey everybody Ive finally gotten around to working on dumping the backlog.  I've got a few in the can but it's a lot of interviews. Might do some solo ones and see how that goes over.  I moved to chicago so hit me up if you want to get a beer Support the show

Liberia: Or that Time America Had A Baby Too Young and Went Out For A Pack Of Cigarettes

June 05, 2022 21:00 - 56 minutes - 38.6 MB

hey were are still on hiatus but I made right before i decided to do that so here it is. PLEASE IGNORE SEO BULLSHIT BELLOW. Liberia, Africa, colonization, decolonization, west Africa, East Africa, Liberian, Amero-Liberian, African Support the show

Ang and Chang Bunker: Siamese Americans

April 19, 2022 15:00 - 1 hour - 44.4 MB

Siamese Twins are conjoined twins.  There are about 15 known Siamese twins in the world.  Many Siamese twins are perfectly healthy but there are a great deal of health complications due to sharing sets of organs or the extra strain.   Buckle the fudge up kiddos cause this one goes off the rails real quick.  Ang and Chang bunker were a pair of conjoined twins and that's pretty much all I can say without giving the whole thing away.  I don't really know how to write these.  I tried reading ab...

AMERICAN VOICES: Andrew Rakich, in Defense of the Puritans

April 08, 2022 04:00 - 1 hour - 41.9 MB

Today most Americans think of the Puritans as dour, sexless monsters who created everything bad about America.  In reality they were pretty much the beginning of everything good about America and if you were alive at the same time as they you'd be one of them.  I sat down with Andrew Rakich to discuss why they were awesome and  why you've been lied to by college liberal atheists who hate God.   Support the show

P.T. Barnum: The Real Story of the Greatest Showman

March 30, 2022 15:00 - 1 hour - 53 MB

PT Barnum was an American circus promoter, best known for his collection of "human freaks" such as Ang and Chang Bunker, the Four Legged Lady, the Bearded Lady and the Human Skeleton.  But for most of his life he didn't work in a circus, he was a museum owner who built a museum in New York City.  PT Barnum was also the inspiration for the movie The Greatest Showman, which all our moms liked.   But he was also a congressman, one of America's first millionaires and a pretty smart dude at the ...

Orthodox Jews: Can I Please Wear Your Big Fuzzy Hat?

March 11, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 56 MB

I want to do one thing before this episode that I’ve never done before, issue a little but of a disclaimer. This episode is about the Orthodox Jews of the United States. I wanted to tell their story because they are a fascinating and complex group, they live in stark contrast to much of contemporary American life while also being some of the largest and most interesting examples of how the rubber meets the road on issues like Immigration and Freedom of Religion.   My original plan was to co...

How the Clock and Calendar Work In America

February 27, 2022 19:00 - 1 hour - 59.5 MB

Where do hours come from? Why do clocks move the direction they do?  What is up with daylight savings time?  Is it a leap year?  Hahaha, wouldn't you like to know.  LEAVE US A REVIEW Support the show

American Voices: Dr. Jopseh Ellis, PULITZER PRIZE WINNER

February 15, 2022 16:00 - 45 minutes - 22.7 MB

That's right you drunken children we got us a real life Pultizer Prize winner on the show!  We got us an interview with Joseph Ellis, winner of the PULITZER PRIZE and author of The Cause: The American Revolution and It's Discontents (OUT NOW).  We sat down and talked about the meaning of the American revolution, George Washington's six pack abs, and which founding fathers would support vaccine mandates.  It's a hoot, it's interesting and oh yeah did I mention that he won the PULITZER PRIZE? ...

AMERICAN VOICES: Mark Pinsley, Candiate for Pennslyvania State Senate

January 25, 2022 03:00 - 52 minutes - 29.2 MB

THATS RIGHT IDIOTS WE GOT A REAL LIFE FOR REAL 100% POLITICAL CANDIDATE ON THIS SHOW IN THE FORM OF MARK PINSLEY.   For real he was pretty cool and asked to be on the pod so send him some money or go vote for him if you live in his district.   CHECK OUT OUR SUBREDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/kingsofdemocracy/ GIVE ME MONEY AT OUR PATREON!  https://www.patreon.com/user?u=64779899&fan_landing=true Support the show

The Westboro Baptist Church: You'll Never Guess Who God Hates

January 14, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 48.4 MB

HEY AND WE ARE BACK!  My laptop is back out of the shop after again spilling water on to it and I have learned my lesson and I hope to be more careful in the fture but I can't guarentee that so why do i even bother to say it. The Westboro Baptist Church are a weird family cult run by a lunatic in a Buffalo Bills Starter Jacket who have a long history of standing on street corners and calling everybody gay.  And while that could have been about half of us in 2004, they managed to make nation...

Spooktacular Christmas Special: Serial Killers

December 09, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 55.3 MB

Why are there so many serial killers in america?  how many serial killers are there?  why are there serial killers? how many people do you have to kill to be considered a serial killer? whats up with serial killers? are head injuries bad for you? is my neibghor a serial killer?  huh  Support the show

North Korea: Are We At War Yet?

November 25, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 51.9 MB

Hello and Greetings From Glorious People's Democratic Republic of North Korea Where Everything Is Good And Fine How Are You?  We have just completed our completion of the first every corroboratory episode with Decadent Western Imperalist Telephone Radio Show Kings of Democracy on the topic of "How Can I Go To North Korea?"  If You wish to participate in our Glorious People's Revolution, please consider to be doing the following if you must. 1.) Please be sending your worthless American curr...

Who Are Soverign Citizens? A Story Involving A Black Nationalist Sex Offender Who Owned a Pyrimid Outside of Atlanta Where He Threw Raves

November 18, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 53.7 MB

WAKE UP SHEEPLE YOU FRIGGIN IDIOTS ITS TIME THAT YOU LEARNED THAT THE GOVERNMNET AND THE LIE-BRALS HAVE BEEN HIDING THE FACT THAT F YOU STAND ON A MAILBOX YOU ARE LEGALLY FEDERAL PROPERTY AND CAN THEREFORE EAT ALL THE PLASTIC STRAWS YOU WANT AND ALSO MY WIFE LEFT ME BECAUSE I KEPT SENIND DEATH THREATS TO CHILDREN OIN THE INTERNET AND NOW THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO TAKE MY GUNS AWAY JUST BECAUSE I SHOT AT A COP WHO DID NOT TELL ME WHAT TIME IT WAS (WHICH IS GOVERNMENT CODE FOR MARITIME MARTI...

Why Does Oklahoma Have A Panhandle: A One Hour And One Minute Explanation.

November 04, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 42.1 MB

You ever wondered why Oklahoma has a panhandle?  No?  Well thats ok because i did it for you.  No really you are welcome.  It's not like I have better things to do, or even things I should be doing.  I do this for you.  Because I care.  And because I am trying to make this country a better place by explaining where the Oklahoma Panhandle came from.   Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=64779899&fan_landing=true)

Why Does Oklahoma Have A Panhandle: A One Hour And One Minute Explanation.

November 04, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 42.1 MB

You ever wondered why Oklahoma has a panhandle?  No?  Well thats ok because i did it for you.  No really you are welcome.  It's not like I have better things to do, or even things I should be doing.  I do this for you.  Because I care.  And because I am trying to make this country a better place by explaining where the Oklahoma Panhandle came from.   Support the show

American Voices: Ethan Craft, License Plate Collector. THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY INTERESTING OK SO LISTEN TO IT

October 21, 2021 15:00 - 46 minutes - 27.7 MB

SHUT UP! OK SHUT UP!  Do you know how long it takes to research and write and record one of these episodes?  I just got a new job.  I'm busy, i got my own stuff going on. So instead of that, today we are going to spend some time with Ethan Craft another dude I met on Tiktok and we're gonna talk about License Plates, which he collects.  Now I know you are thinking, Andrew aren't license plates just a piece of unnoticed ephemera that reveal a shockingly rich culture of changing material desig...

Voyager Space Probe: GO LITTLE ROBOT GO (ft. Jason Torchinsky)

October 12, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 41.6 MB

The Voyager Space Probes are in the top ten coooooooooolest things America has ever done.  Seriously we built a little robot during the Ford administration and it's still flying around and telling us all kinds of cool stuff about the dust in space or how the sun gets weird after pluto.  Lets face it if you like this podcast or are even seeing this you are probably a huge weeb for space exploration and you're a little bit mad that all the cool kids stole the NASA shirt and you wish that Nixon...

Edgar Allan Poe: And Quoth The Raven "BUMBOCLAAT"!

September 27, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 51.8 MB

AND WE'RE BACK BAYBEEEEEEEEEE Hey sorry if you've been waiting on this one but didn't hear from us for a while a pipe exploded at my place and all my computer and sound stuff got wet and also I am getting a new job.  ANYWAY Edgar Allan Poe was a real guy if you can believe it.  He did stuff.  If anybody reads this comment HEY ANDREW I READ THE EPISODE DESCRIBTIONS on the subreddit cause I don't like writing them.  Now if you'll excuse me I need to scam SEO .   Once upon a midnight dreary, ...

NASCAR: Going Fast and Turrning Left

August 29, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 48.6 MB

The history of NASCAR is a history of America's love affair with the car.  Which is to say a lot of us actually hate it and it's too expensive and we wish there was a better way but that might involve taking the bus and god knows we can't have that.   Support the show

The Vice President: If You're Reading This, It's Too Late (FT. Matt Beat)

August 16, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 42.2 MB

So most of us just sort of assume that the Vice President is a loser job for somebody who is good with a demographic the President is weak in.  And that's true.  But in reality, the Vice Presidency is one of the weirdest and worst things in our Constitution.  Seriously, it's a bunch of random crap put together with duct tape and bailing wire with a ton of massive problems.  Did you know we have no idea who should be in charge of the Vice President's impeachment? The Constitution doesn't say....

The Confederate Flag: A Symbol of Heritage, Hate, and Good BBQ

August 03, 2021 05:00 - 55 minutes - 38.1 MB

Welcome to the Thunder Dome, except instead of Mel Gibson fighting a Midget its a chcik with purple hair screaming at a dude with Oakleys.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I JUST WANT GOOD HEALTH INSURANCE.  Support the show

Reader Mail 5: URUGUAYYYYYYYYYY!

July 26, 2021 14:00 - 17 minutes - 10.4 MB

We are on the charts in Urugyay BABY ALL THE WAY NUMERO UNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo Support the show

German Americans: THE HISTORY THEY WON'T TEACH YOU IN SCHOOLS

July 20, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 43.2 MB

Everytime somebody says "MOST AMERICANS DONT KNOW THEIR REAL HISTORY" my brain shuts down.  Because we all do.  Like not everybody knows the details but you have to go pretty far in to the woods to find anybody who is like "Oh yeah I unironically 100% like George Washington." We know the messed up stuff we did, or at least we understand it in general its just that nobody agrees about what to do about it.   German Americans are part of that history.  They are the single largest block of Amer...

The Battle of the Alamo FT. Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón

July 06, 2021 03:00 - 53 minutes - 37 MB

The Battle of the Alamo was a vicious last stand battle, where a ragtag group of Americans fought for their right to be Americans in Mexico.  And also so that they could bring slaves there, get free land and not pay taxes.  It's a story of intrigue, passion and the Pirate King of Galveston who was a real person.   But it's also a story where basically everybody is a bad person and it's kind of hard to develop emotional stakes because literaly everybody is a slave owning fedual landlord. Wh...

The Stonewall Riots or How the Mafia Created Gay Pride Parades

June 15, 2021 11:00 - 58 minutes - 39.9 MB

FUN FACT: I once barfed on the rainbow sidewalks in seattle but not on purpose I had just eatten to much shrimp too fast.  ANOTHER FUN FACT: The Stonewall Inn was a  terrible bar without working toilets that use to blackmail it's customers and after the riots the gay community boycotted it.  The riots were mostly caused by gay anger over mafia control of gay bars and police corruption.     ONE MORE FUN FACT: The reason I had eatten so much shrimp so fast was I just did a comedy show and my...

Babe Ruth: America's Worst Role Model (Ft. Sweet Danny O'Connell and Andre "Crawfish" Pegeron)

June 08, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 44.3 MB

Holy crap Babe Ruth was good at baseball and drinking and sex and crashing cars and yelling at umpires.   When did Babe Ruth Die? How Many Home Runs Did Babe Ruth Hit? Would Babe Ruth Be Considered Good Today? Who Broke Babe Ruth's Home Run Record? Where Was Babe Ruth Born? When Was Babe Ruth Born? What Team Did Babe Ruth Play For? Support the show

Napalm: Please Don't Make Any

May 25, 2021 05:00 - 53 minutes - 36.7 MB

Napalm is scary as heck.  It is very hot.  DO NOT MAKE ANY.   When was Napalm Invented? Who invented Napalm? Is Napalm illegal?  What armies use napalm? Support the show

Johnny Appleseed: An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away

May 17, 2021 11:00 - 53 minutes - 36.9 MB

Who was Johnny Appleseed? Was Johnny Appleseed a real person? Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away.  Also the FBI cut down all his orchards because they are the fun police.  Support the show

Guam: Where America's Day Begins But For Real This Time (Ft. Lexi Haack)

May 10, 2021 15:00 - 56 minutes - 38.8 MB

Guam is an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and it's full of airplanes and nuclear bombs so we can blow up Asia if we need to.   But also it's full of people screwed out of democracy, Japanese soldiers who refuse to surrender and a bunch of Spanish leapers.  BUT IT TELLS US A LOT ABOUT HOW THE AMERICAN EMPIRE ISN'T STATIC.   SEO STUFF IGNORE: Is Guam a country? Is Guam part of the US? Is Guam a US territory? Will Guam become a state?  Will Guam hit south africa? Will Guam Tip over?...

The History of Reality Shows or I DIDN'T COME HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS

May 05, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 47.7 MB

What was the first reality show? Who invented reality shows? Are reality shows scripted? Are reality shows real? How does reality TV effect society?  ALL THESE QUESTIONS ANSWERED AND MORE OK! ARE YOU HAPPY! Support the show

Reality Shows: I Didn't Come Here To Make Friends!

May 05, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 47.7 MB

Antiques Roadshow is the best reality show and don't @ me.  PLEASE LEAVE US A REVIEW. 

The Star Spangled Banner: Please Stand For This Whole Episode Ft Jeremy Hunter (SKATUNE NETWORK)

April 28, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 43.8 MB

please ignore this im scamming SEO.  who wrote the star spangled banner?  when was the star spangled banner written? what is the star spangled banner about? when was the star spangled banner made the national anthem?  ALSO GO BUY JEREMY'S ALBUM HERE ITS GOOD SKA IS FOREVER Input promo code Kings of Democracy Podcast to get charged double and have a bird crap in your eye https://badtimerecords.limitedrun.com/products/699320-we-are-the-union-ordinary-life-vinyl-second-pressing Support the show

The White House and the Search for Jimmy Carter's Gold

April 14, 2021 17:00 - 1 hour - 52.5 MB

Pleae ignore this i heard it's a good way to scam SEO. How big is the white house? who lives in the white house? why is the white house white? how many bathrooms are in the white house? does the white house have a bunker? how many bedrooms are in the white house?  do you have to pay rent on the white house? when was the white house built? when was the white house burnt down? was the white house burnt down? where is the white house? which presidents have lived in the white house? where does t...

The White House and the Search for Jimmy Carter's Gold (Ft. Armando Torres)

April 14, 2021 17:00 - 1 hour - 52.5 MB

Pleae ignore this i heard it's a good way to scam SEO. How big is the white house? who lives in the white house? why is the white house white? how many bathrooms are in the white house? does the white house have a bunker? how many bedrooms are in the white house?  do you have to pay rent on the white house? when was the white house built? when was the white house burnt down? was the white house burnt down? where is the white house? which presidents have lived in the white house? where does t...

Las Vegas: Sand, Blood and the Rise of the Mormon Mafia

April 06, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 45.1 MB

Why is Gambling Legal in Vegas? Why can you get married or divorced there really quick?  Why is it the only place in Nevada where prostitution isn't legal?  Did the mafia make vegas?  Whats up with the Grand Coollee Dam?  Will Andrew Ever Figure out how to mix audio?  why is there so much light there?  don't you think it's weird how dudes will go to strip clubs with each other and just get AROUSED near each other?  

Las Vegas: Sand, Blood and the Rise of the Mormon Mafia (Ft. Kyle Gordon)

April 06, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 45.1 MB

Why is Gambling Legal in Vegas? Why can you get married or divorced there really quick?  Why is it the only place in Nevada where prostitution isn't legal?  Did the mafia make vegas?  Whats up with the Grand Coollee Dam?  Will Andrew Ever Figure out how to mix audio?  why is there so much light there?  don't you think it's weird how dudes will go to strip clubs with each other and just get AROUSED near each other?  Featuring Kyle Gordon.  He's pretty funny on Tiktok and in real life.  He was...

Guam: Where America's Day Begins

April 01, 2021 06:00 - 46 minutes - 31.9 MB

Guam is an island in the pacific and ive never been there but i'd sure like to.   Where is Guam? What time is it in Guam?  How Many Feral Pigs Live In Guam?  How many people live on Guam?  What is life like on Guam? How much of Guam does the military own? Support the show

Gay Marriage and the Most Important Cock Block in Civil Rights History

March 17, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 41.6 MB

Gay marriage more like gay mirage am i right? This week we talk about how gay marriage got legalized, which was basically a bunch of lawsuits where the government said "ew gross" and then people said "I dunno but like what if" and the government was like "ehhhh ok" SEO stuff please ignore: Is Gay marriage legal? is gay marriage legal in all fifty states? is gay marriage legal in Texas? Is Gay marriage legal in Georgia? Is Gay Marriage legal in Japan? Is Gay marriage legal in the us? when wa...

Yoga in America: Invented in Denmark

March 09, 2021 16:00 - 1 hour - 53.6 MB

whats up wuth you guys im doing good, im having an ok day.  i woke up early to get this posted so you better be fugging greatful and now that you OWE ME SOMETHING check out out subreddit r/kingsofdemocracy AND leave us a review on podchaster or apple podcasts.  that would be great.  i will love you.   Support the show

Communist Party of the United State of America: I'm Just A Dumb Vanguard of the Revolution Who Lives for Drama

March 02, 2021 16:00 - 1 hour - 46.9 MB

I don't care if you are a purple haired sjw or a oakley wearing uncle who left his wallet in the capitol, the Communist Party of the United States is nothing but 100 years of hardcore lulz.  They were a bunch of dorks who were bad at their job and did nothing but fight with each other while getting thrown in jail. FIND US ON REDDIT r/kingsofdemocracy its where all the other power autism super kings are at also LEAVE US A REVIEW Support the show

Elvis Part Two: The Road To the Death Toilet

February 24, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 55.5 MB

WHY ARE YOU NOT ON r/kingsofdemocracy its where all the cool kids are getting laid  Also if you are here from tiktok hello and thank you for clinking a link once in your life this will be worth it Support the show

Elvis Part One: Meth, Karate and the American Dream

February 17, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 54.2 MB

SUBSCRIBE TO r/kingsofdemocracy  we can't go in to the details here but we're are working on an awesome new cyberbullying plan and we need a minimum of 50 people.  Also if any of you are here from tiktok sorry this isn't music related but thats just how i roll Support the show

Sesame Street: Would You Like Some Ketamine?

February 09, 2021 05:00 - 53 minutes - 36.6 MB

GO ON R/kingsofdemocracy to vote on who WE WILL CYBERBULLY! Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=64779899&fan_landing=true)

Sesame Street: Would You Like Some Ketamine?

February 09, 2021 05:00 - 53 minutes - 36.6 MB

GO ON R/kingsofdemocracy to vote on who WE WILL CYBERBULLY! Support the show

Mount Rushmore: Everybody Should Hate It As Much As I Do

February 02, 2021 07:00 - 57 minutes - 39.7 MB

I FUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE H...

Snake Handlers and the One Eyed Man Who Created the American God

January 26, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 47.3 MB

all out of ben shapiro/AOC fan fiction.  Support the show

American Soccer: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL

January 13, 2021 00:00 - 1 hour - 49.9 MB

you asked for it, you got it, more Ben Shapiro/AOC fan fic: “C’mon, just let me say it once. Just once,” Charlie’s slimy voice echoed through the labyrinthine halls of TPUSA HQ. “For the last time, no,” said Candace, “we’ve talked about this,” “But ‘the pass’ is the only thing that my daddy’s money can’t buy for me. And you’re my only black friend, so-“ “We are not friends. And for the last time, ‘the pass’ doesn’t exist.” “Well I say we’re friends. You know what, I’m just gonna say it. ...

American Profanity: In Which You Learn What A Gimbo Is

January 04, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 48.9 MB

ok nobody reads this stuff so i'm just going to use it to repost Ben Shapiro/AOC fan fiction i found while home waiting for a covid test to come back  Ben hid around the corner, his face red, a bouquet of lobsters clutched tightly in his sweaty grip. All 4 feet 6 inches of his body was taut with nerves. Today was the day he was going to ask his crush out. He'd been flirting with her on Twitter the only way he knew how, trying to tear her down with his obnoxious insults and demands for debate...

2020 Preemptive Retrospective and Also Gerry Has MRSA

December 28, 2020 08:00 - 55 minutes - 38.1 MB

 every wonder why there's no movies about 9/11? because we all remember how we felt and any movie that tries to tell us anything would seem so stupid and fake and corny and tacky that we'd never go see it.  the only made westerns after all the cowboys were dead and they never cast vets in actual war movies.  becuase they'd make it so real it would be ugly and we never let ourselves be truly ugly in our own memory.  you will let yourself forget this year and you will forget that you forgot.  ...

Miss America, In Which Posideon Almost Drowns in Atlantic City

December 15, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 43.4 MB

THIS PODCAST WILL BE ALL MALE UNTIL R/FEMINISM LIFTS THERE BAN ON ME FOR STARTING A DIALOUGE ABOUT CIRCUMCISION.  I WILL RELEASE ONE HISTORY/COMEDY PODCAST ABOUT WOMENS ISSUES FEATURING ALL MEN UNTIL MY DEMANDS ARE MET. Featuring Elliot GB Support the show