Kings of Democracy
115 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 45 ratingsThe official podcast of the United States of America and everybody who lives in it or ever has or ever will. Two semi-decent historians and occasional comedians tackle American history, one person, place or thing at a time.
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Episodes
Tornadoes: Get in the Basement! (FT SAM IKE)
December 02, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 42.6 MBehhhhhhhhhh forgettaboutit it's the big apple, where we eat pizza and NEVER FORGET. but still forgedddabout it, today were talking about one of new yorks most famous attractions, tornadoes those bigjagoffs in the fugging sky that are always sucking my cousins up and in to the land of oz where they got mugged by some half chinese guy with a sock full of sacagawea dollars ehhhhhhhh. FEATURING SAM IKE SEO SCAM IGNORE: what causes tornadoes? what places get the most tornadoes? what states hav...
Tornadoes: Get in the Basement!
December 02, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 42.6 MBehhhhhhhhhh forgettaboutit it's the big apple, where we eat pizza and NEVER FORGET. but still forgedddabout it, today were talking about one of new yorks most famous attractions, tornadoes those bigjagoffs in the fugging sky that are always sucking my cousins up and in to the land of oz where they got mugged by some half chinese guy with a sock full of sacagawea dollars ehhhhhhhh. FEATURING SAM IKE
The Wright Brothers: THE SKY BELONGS TO MEN
November 24, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 45.6 MBWhat do most of our listeners and the Wright Brothers have in common? Stay tuned to find out! (THE ANSWER IS CATONIC DEPRESSION FOLLOWED BY BEING A PRODUCTIVE INCEL) Support the show
Bald Eagles: Bad At Sex
November 11, 2020 05:00 - 47 minutes - 32.4 MBWE WON MOTHERFUCKERS BIDEN IS KING SHIT OF ASS MOUNTIAN AND DONALD PHUMP WILL SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE SELLING RACIST BITCOIN TO FLORIDA IDIOTS! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME INCRAMENTAL HEALTH CARE REFORM TO BE ADVANCED BY AN OBSTRUCTIONIST CONGRESS THROUGH A SUPREME COURT THATS BEEN POLITICIZED FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS! TOOT TOOT! also Andrew's high school did an all white production of the Wiz but you can't cancel me because trumps is gone bitches haha. Support the show
Woodstock: Sex, Mud and People Getting Electrocuted
October 28, 2020 03:00 - 1 hour - 57.7 MBAll the boomers love Woodstock and never shut up about it which is cool because id rather they talk about sha-na-na than how globalists run the world by making us feel bad about saying the n word. but in reality the how thing was a murderous shit show put on by trust fund babies in an age when people didn't have cell phones. we have a subreddit now r/kingsofdemocracy GO TO IT NOW AND POST STUFF FOOL Support the show
Obesity: The American Plauge
September 29, 2020 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MByoure fat im fat everybody is fat but why? its because we eat to much and never go outside. but why? corn subsidies and crime. also we are still on hiatus, i just thought this would be funny. Support the show
Obesity: The American Plauge
September 29, 2020 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MByoure fat im fat everybody is fat but why? its because we eat to much and never go outside. but why? corn subsidies and crime. also we are still on hiatus, i just thought this would be funny. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=64779899&fan_landing=true)
READER MAIL 3: HAPPY ONE YEAR ANIVERSERY!
September 21, 2020 04:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBUNBLOCK ME r/feminism HOW WILL WE DIALOUGE ABOUT MANDATORY ORGAN DONATION IF YOU CAN'T HEAR ALL SIDES OF THE ISSUE. Also: *Cool SST stories *Capital Hill Autonomous Zone: A Failure or a Disaster? *A list of towns Support the show
READER MAIL 3: HAPPY ONE YEAR ANIVERSERY!
September 21, 2020 04:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBUNBLOCK ME r/feminism HOW WILL WE DIALOUGE ABOUT MANDATORY ORGAN DONATION IF YOU CAN'T HEAR ALL SIDES OF THE ISSUE. Also: *Cool SST stories *Capital Hill Autonomous Zone: A Failure or a Disaster? *A list of towns
The American Concorde (SST Boeing 2707): A Boondoggle Making Love to a Fiasco
September 09, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 52.9 MBi'm currently in free speech jail from r/feminism for TRYING TO START A DIALOGUE ABOUT CIRCUMCISION! So while I await them coming back to their senses, i will regale you all with the time America spent $5.7 billion to not build a plane that nobody wanted. LEAVE US A REVIEW! Support the show
Circumcision: The Cause Without a Rebel
August 27, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 46.2 MBQUICK: look at your dick. or if you dont have one ask to look at somebody elses. there's a reasonable chance it is missing a big chunk and for basically no reason. But why? because according to my co-worker Kyle its because it would get sand in it but IDK if i trust Kyle. STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT. Also Jerry is Uncircumcised. Support the show
Thanksgiving: UNCLES UNITE!
August 18, 2020 16:00 - 1 hour - 51.9 MBthanksgiving is the best holiday and if you doubt it i will punch your face because you are a coward. i think there should be a restaurant that just serves thanksgiving food it would do very well. Featuring SPECIAL GUEST JJ McCullough! Support the show
Christopher Columbus Part Three: Italian Rasputin
August 10, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 57.7 MBChristopher Columbus does some greasy wizard stuff in Cuba and also his bones get sent to Cuba. Support the show
Christopher Columbus Part Two: Things Fall Apart. Really, Really Fast. Like Way Too Fast.
July 31, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 61.9 MBthis is the one that has all the stuff your blue haired cousin is mad about. and shes not wrong. Support the show
Christopher Columbus Part Two: Things Fall Apart. Really, Really Fast. Like Way Too Fast.
July 31, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 61.9 MBthis is the one that has all the stuff your blue haired cousin is mad about. and shes not wrong. Support the show
Christopher Columbus Part One: All the Rhubarb the Queen Desires
July 21, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 56.4 MByee so this week were talking about Columbus who more or less accidentally stumbled on to America and it got out of hand really quick. Also this shit in portland is getting whild huh? Support the show
AMERICAN LIVES: Ben Hurst, American Born African Rasied Missionary Kid
July 14, 2020 07:00 - 54 minutes - 37.8 MBhey yall hope youre doing good today we're not gonna rap on some funny history and instead kick it with my homie Ben Hurst who was born in American and raised in Africa as the child of missionaries. He's got a lot of interesting stuff to say about America and how it interacts with the rest of the world and also hes just a funny and interesting guy. SO PAY ATTENTION YOU STUPID MOOKS. Support the show
Sex Offender Registry: NOT LIVE FROM THE CHAZ
June 30, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 51.3 MBhey gang sorry i lied i didn't go to the CHAZ to ask people their opinions about sex offenders because it was raining and then a guy got shot and it's officially a bad trip up there now. but this week we're talking about sex offenders and how american created a permanent underclass of people who are punished for life for what is often a single non-violent crime and how we'd be better off if we just punted them all in to the sun. im kinda going out on a limb with this one and i really hope ...
Alcatraz: America's Azkaban
June 16, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 49.8 MBTHERES NO MORE COPS IN SEATTLE SO I'M GONNA FART ON THE MONORAIL AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME. TODAY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ALCATRAZ WITH HENRY RUSSEL STODDARD (PLAY ME OUT POD) WHO IS ALSO MY ROOMATE AND NOW THAT THE COPS ARE GONNA I'M GONNA SUCK HIS TOES WHILE HE'S SLEEPING Support the show
The Marlboro Man: The Man's Man Who Killed A Lot of Manly Men
June 03, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 50.7 MBHOW TO GET PEPPER SPRAY OFF YOUR SKIN: Oleoresin capsicum is an oil, and oil and water don't mix. Think about how difficult it is to wash grease off of a cooking pan with just water -- it's almost impossible. This is because water is made up of polar molecules and grease is made up of nonpolar molecules. Polar molecules only bond with other polar molecules, and nonpolar molecules only bond with other nonpolar molecules. So no matter how much water you rinse a greasy pan with, the water will ...
Miranda Rights: Don't Talk to Cops Until Gerry's Mom Gets Here
May 19, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 46.2 MByou have the right to remain silent yeah tell my wife that seriously take my wife please hahaha i jest but no seriously don't talk to cops and ask for a lawyer or they will bury you under the jail you idiot Support the show
Superman: Secretly Jewish
May 05, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 56.1 MBSuperman is America's first superhero, but no longer our best. The best is Spiderman who is human and mortal and relatable and lives in a cool part of Queens. But Superman is still around and we should talk about how he was how Americans saw their ideal versions of themselves, and how we no longer really like him because of the Vietnam War or whatever. Support the show
The Coast Guard: Budget Cuts Off the Port Bow!
April 28, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 48.5 MBthe coast guard keeps us safe from drugs, icebergs, poseidon, lumber poaching, unmapped sandbars and of course, nor'easters. But how did they come to exist? why are they orange? how many dogs do they have? Support the show
Capitol Punishment Part Two: Quadruple Secret Mega Nuts
April 21, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 47.8 MBAgain sorry for dropping a bummer on ya'll during such a bummer of a time. But just remember that no bad how things are, you could be on Death Row. Which is double crazy because there are actually people on Death Row right now. I don't know where I'm going with this, I'm trying to move right now so I'm kind of stressed out. Support the show
Capitol Punishment Part One: PRETTY COOL!!!!!!!
April 14, 2020 10:00 - 58 minutes - 40 MBhey guys sorry for dropping an episode about the death penalty while you're all stuck in your houses trying to not get wuhan crunchy lung but it was the last episode i recorded before social distancing started and i think we had fun doing it and hopefully you can learn a little bit about another thing that people consider tragedy/righteous wrath of an angry god. Support the show
Cowboys: The Thirst for Beef
April 07, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 50.1 MBDoes your job suck? Of course it does. But there's one job that all Americans want, with cool clothes, horses and decent honest hard work: Cowboy. American Cowboys are a study in contradictions, they are both a medic creation and a very real part of American history. So saddle up to learn about COWBOYS: America's Americans. Special Guest Lisa Wallen Support the show
The Congressional Subway System: America's Shortest Rail Transport System
April 01, 2020 17:00 - 52 minutes - 36.4 MBAmericans have a lot of different ways to get around, car, truck, van or taxi. But How do American's elected representatives get around? Why the Congressional Subway of course! At a whopping .6 miles long and reaching speeds of up to 15 miles per hour, it's one of Americas most influential and most storied rail transport systems. So Buckle up for a short, mostly smooth journey!
APRIL FOOLS EXTRAVAGNZA: NORTHERN EXPOSURE: CANADIAN INDEPENDENCE
April 01, 2020 17:00 - 52 minutes - 36.4 MBHow did America's northern neighbor become independent? Do you know? No, of course you don't. I bet you don't even know because you're so stupid and uninterested in other peoples culture. You're so wrapped up in your own stupid little world and so concerned with your own problems that you can't even focus on anything that matters, like Canadian Independence. Support the show
ACLU: How World War One Resulted in the Legalization of Voodoo
March 24, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 52.5 MBwe're talking about the ACLU, which is either the guardian of freedom and justice or a bunch of out of touch New Yorkers trying to rip up your grandpa's headstone. The ACLU has a long complicated history, mostly involving communists but with a few Nazi's, Jehovah's Witnesses and of course Voodoo Priests thrown in for good measure. So get ready to have some real mixed feelings about the full implications of freedom cause it's time for KINGS OF DEMOCRACY! Support the show
AR-15: America's Rifle But That's Not What AR Stands For
March 17, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 59 MBAmericans own a lot of guns but there's one gun we like more than others, the AR-15. To some they represent American military and industrial might, while to others they're the dangerous toys of lunatics. So today we look in to the long goofy history of the AR-15 Support the show
The POW/MIA Flag: I Wonder If They Ever Think About Me Thinking About Them?
March 10, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 49 MBAmerica, like a real big boy countries has a flag. But unlike other countries we've got a weird unofficial second flag that only some of us fly on some days. The POW/MIA flag is a staple of the more military influenced areas of America, and it might seem a little outdated considering the Vietnam War has been over for 50 years. But it's just the last remaining piece of a controversy that changed how Americans think about each other, our role in the world and how much we trusted our own gov...
The Special Relationship: America, Britan and an Old Man Named "Fuss and Feathers".
March 04, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 50.5 MBThe relationship between American and Britain is one of the deepest, strongest and most powerful relationships between any two countries ever and it feels like except that one time back in the day, we've always been homies. But that couldn't be further from the truth, America and Britain have fought two wars, almost gone to war three times, feuded over some borders, had a few riots and even an axe fight or two. But why did we hate each other? How did we stop hating each other? Are there ...
The Special Relationship: America, Britan and an Old Man Named "Fuss and Feathers".
March 04, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 50.5 MBThe relationship between American and Britain is one of the deepest, strongest and most powerful relationships between any two countries ever and it feels like except that one time back in the day, we've always been homies. But that couldn't be further from the truth, America and Britain have fought two wars, almost gone to war three times, feuded over some borders, had a few riots and even an axe fight or two. But why did we hate each other? How did we stop hating each other? Are there ...
Roe vs. Wade: Constitutional Law Cajun Style
February 25, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 50.4 MBRoe Vs. Wade is the most controversial Supreme Court case of a generation, having reshaped the American political landscape in it's wake. But while we all know it's name and nearly all of us have an opinion about it, the story of how it became law is long, complicated, and involves a weird amount of Cajuns, Bit Players in the Kennedy Assassination, Vintage Pornography and Sodomy Laws. So make your protest sign and get ready for the yelling cause it's time for Kings of Democracy, real spicy...
Reader Mail Extravaganza 2: PRAY FOR GERRY!!!
February 20, 2020 11:00 - 31 minutes - 21.2 MBwe answer your dumb emails, talk about the xfl, and disagree about why there won't be a brokered convention Support the show
The American Lawn or, The Legend of Billy Joel
February 18, 2020 11:00 - 58 minutes - 40.3 MBAmericans love their lawns. We spend billions maintaining them and pour millions of gallons of water on them. But why do we have lawns? Why do we care so much? How did Eurasian sub species of grass end up so well distributed across America? Well it's a long story involving a boat fire, homeowner associations, The Deadliest Event In Human History, and poison sumac. Also we get in to how Central Park ended up costing more than Alaska, how to sweep dirt and the legend of Billy Joel. Sup...
The Republic of China: America's Invisable Friend
February 11, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 49.2 MBAmerica is a pretty good friend, we'll back you up no matter what. In fact we'll back you up well past the point of sanity or decency. And there's no place where that's clearer than America's relationship with the Republic of China/Taiwan/Chinese Taipei/Formosa. The average American doesn't think about Taiwan too much, but its a perfect symbol of how weird geopolitics can get, how massive issues are created by small flaws, and how domestic politics creates foreign policy. Also there's a ...
How To Run For President Part Three: General Election Campaign to Inauguration
February 04, 2020 14:00 - 1 hour - 53.2 MBHoly smokes! After two years of begging people for money it's almost time to get voted on. But first you have to clear the final hurdles, like spending money on TV adds that don't work, practicing for debates that nobody watches, dodging those last minute October Surprise Sneak Attacks, until final it is time to Lose. But you can do more than lose. The American Presidential Election is full of way weirder stuff, like faithless electors, unbound electors, continent elections, non-ballo...
How To Run For President Part Two: Iowa to General Election Campaign
January 28, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 50.3 MBSo after having lived your life as a psychopathic social climber and begging for money it's finally time to actually deal with the hell that is running for President. Today we explore New Hampshire's Creepy Victorian Hotels, the kabuki theater of Convention Democracy, the Worst Vice Presidential Pick of All Time (It's not who you think), the pig that ran for President in 1968, and of course the wonderful world of Anti-Freemasonic Populism. Support the show
How To Run For President Part One: Birth to the Iowa Caucus
January 21, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 54.8 MB"Any boy can become President in America. It's one of the risks he takes" Adlai Stevenson. Well, it's that time again. Americans are getting ready to pick their next president. Or the same President. Or maybe a stray bullet will come through the window. The American Presidency is a unique position of power, arguably the most powerful person in world history with command of the biggest military, richest economy and he can go to as many San Jose Sharks games as he wants for free. But ...
Navy SEALs: What Did You Say About Me You Little B!@#$?
January 14, 2020 17:00 - 1 hour - 46.1 MBI'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f!@# out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f#$%^& words. You think you can get away with saying that s*(% to me over the Intern...
The Amish: Everybody Looks Good in Black
January 07, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 50 MBThe Amish are America's favorite weird religion. We visit their towns, eat their pie and even write romance novels about them. But how did a gang of technology rejecting simple folks like them end up in rural Pennsylvania? How many of them are there? Who are they and WHAT DO THEY WANT? Stay tuned to find out with special guest Jesse Warren. Support the show
The Amish: Theives and Pedophiles
January 07, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 50 MBThe Amish are America's favorite weird religion. We visit their towns, eat their pie and even write romance novels about them. But how did a gang of technology rejecting simple folks like them end up in rural Pennsylvania? How many of them are there? Who are they and WHAT DO THEY WANT? Stay tuned to find out with special guest Jesse Warren.
Disneyland/World/EPCOT Part Two: In Which Walt Disney Sues the State of Flordia So He Can Build A Nuclear Reactor
January 03, 2020 21:00 - 57 minutes - 39.3 MBWhen we left off Walt Disney was putting the finishing touches on Disneyland, his first theme park. But as the days went by, Walt found himself restless again, focused on a new vision, but this time it wasn't just a theme park. It was an Authoritarian Techno-Capitalist Luxury Utopia compete with 200 miles of monorail and no democracy. So join us as we watch one of the most beloved entertainers in American history devote the last few years of his life to building the Gold Standard of Amer...
Walt Disney Part Two: In Which Walt Sues Florida So He Can Build A Nuclear Reactor at EPCOT
January 03, 2020 21:00 - 57 minutes - 39.3 MBWhen we left off Walt Disney was putting the finishing touches on Disneyland, his first theme park. But as the days went by, Walt found himself restless again, focused on a new vision, but this time it wasn't just a theme park. It was an Authoritarian Techno-Capitalist Luxury Utopia compete with 200 miles of monorail and no democracy. So join us as we watch one of the most beloved entertainers in American history devote the last few years of his life to building the Gold Standard of Amer...
Disneyland/World/EPCOT Part One: A Man, A Mouse, and a Sinkhole Full of Alligators
December 27, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 45.7 MBThere's no many more synonymous with the 1950's American Dream than Walt Disney. He was an innovator, a dreamer and kind of a jerk. As many as 70% of Americans have visited one of his parks. But how did he a kid from small town Missouri end up as the defining artist of a generation? How did he get enough money to build an entire theme park? How did he capture the attention of the world? It's a long story, long enough to be our first two part EXTRAVAGANZA!
Walt Disney Part One: The Best Darn Vacuum Salesman That Never Was
December 27, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 45.7 MBThere's no many more synonymous with the 1950's American Dream than Walt Disney. He was an innovator, a dreamer and kind of a jerk. As many as 70% of Americans have visited one of his parks. But how did he a kid from small town Missouri end up as the defining artist of a generation? How did he get enough money to build an entire theme park? How did he capture the attention of the world? It's a long story, long enough to be our first two part EXTRAVAGANZA! Support the show
Dry Counties, or How the Women's Sufferage Movement Accidentally Created NASCAR
December 17, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 42.2 MBAmericans have a love of booze, and booze sure has a love of us at least according to all the flags they put in their commercials. But what most of us big city folks don't understand is that wide swaths of American, nearly 5% nation wide live under an oppressive regime of mandatory sobriety in the form of Dry Counties. Today we'll explore the who what where when why and huh of dry counties, sober states and teetotaling towns. Also featuring special guest David Lewis, and a discussion abo...
Reader Mail Extravaganza 1: Rhode Island is for Cowards
December 15, 2019 12:00 - 35 minutes - 24.4 MBAndrew and Gerry answer reader mail. today we're dealing with our heroic secretive listener in an unnamed euro-asian police state, the ATTACKS being made against this podcast by Rhode Island Asexual Leftists, and what we think about the 2020 Democratic Primaries. Also due to the cowardly actions of several social media platforms I need to make this expressly clear: DO NOT VANDALIZE, DAMAGE OR ALTER ANY RHODE ISLAND HISTORICAL LANDMARKS. THOSE COMMENTS ARE MADE IN JEST. USE CONTEXT CLUES....
Area 51: Super Secret, Spooky Secret
December 10, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 48.7 MBEver wondered what's inside of Area 51? That's easy it's where the government tests experimental aircraft mostly for reconnaissance purposes. But why does every body think there's aliens there? Well its a much longer story, complete with open pits full of burning Barium, the country running out of bug spray and Greek "Civilians" "Driving" A "Weather Research Aircraft" Support the show