Inner Work with Steli Efti
329 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 5 ratingsThe (strictly no-business) podcast that shall never become yet another to-do item in a busy CEOs life. A storytelling playground and save space for irresponsible experimentation. We willll talk martial arts, ponder the nature of life, have conversations with weirdos and misfits, shamelessly fail in public, and share what we learn along the way.
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Episodes
139: The Feeling Was Inside of You Before You Knew
April 05, 2022 16:00 - 25 minutes - 58.1 MBHow much of who you are in this very moment can you fully see and accept? It’s one of the hardest questions that life asks of us every day. In this episode, I discuss the human experience of how different situations bring out feelings that are already deep within us and the courage needed to seek out the underlying meaning contained within our own emotions. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep139 Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https...
139: The Feeling Was Inside of You Before You Knew
April 05, 2022 16:00 - 25 minutes - 58.1 MBHow much of who you are in this very moment can you fully see and accept? It’s one of the hardest questions that life asks of us every day. In this episode, I discuss the human experience of how different situations bring out feelings that are already deep within us and the courage needed to seek out the underlying meaning contained within our own emotions. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep139 Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.c...
138: Who is Your Heart-Donkey?
March 29, 2022 16:00 - 10 minutes - 23.8 MBI’ve been spending my mornings lately reading “The Essential Rumi”. I find his writing to be so beautiful, touching, creative and poetic and I’ve really enjoyed starting my days with reading his words. One of the poems in this collection that has had a profound impact on me is “After the Meditation”. I’ve been stuck on it for the last week, re-reading it every morning and finding new meaning within it. In this episode, I discuss and dissect the poem and the concept of findi...
138: Who is Your Heart-Donkey?
March 29, 2022 16:00 - 10 minutes - 23.8 MBI’ve been spending my mornings lately reading “The Essential Rumi”. I find his writing to be so beautiful, touching, creative and poetic and I’ve really enjoyed starting my days with reading his words. One of the poems in this collection that has had a profound impact on me is “After the Meditation”. I’ve been stuck on it for the last week, re-reading it every morning and finding new meaning within it. In this episode, I discuss and dissect the poem and the concept of finding your “heart-do...
137: The Challenging State of Non-Doing
March 22, 2022 16:00 - 38 minutes - 87.4 MBIt’s been a very large part of my personality to define my self worth and the value I add to the world through what I’ve accomplished in a day. But I’ve learned that no matter how many to-do items I cross off my list, there’s never a sense of completion. I’m now embracing the art form of non-doing. Non-doing isn’t the physical act of literally doing nothing, but a state of mind to achieve - peacefulness, awareness, presence. It’s the embodiment of an empty vessel, letting things happen thro...
137: The Challenging State of Non-Doing
March 22, 2022 16:00 - 38 minutes - 87.4 MBIt’s been a very large part of my personality to define my self worth and the value I add to the world through what I’ve accomplished in a day. But I’ve learned that no matter how many to-do items I cross off my list, there’s never a sense of completion. I’m now embracing the art form of non-doing. Non-doing isn’t the physical act of literally doing nothing, but a state of mind to achieve - peacefulness, awareness, presence. It’s the embodiment of an empty vessel, letting t...
136: The Black Hole of Not Enough
March 17, 2022 16:00 - 50 minutes - 115 MBThere’s a part of me that’s resurfaced recently that I haven’t had to face in months. It’s the part of me that is relentless in downplaying every single thing that I do - the inner voice that’s constantly whispering in my ear “you are not enough”. This feeling is like quicksand; the faster I try to overcome it by filling my day with more actions and accomplishments, the quicker I drown. It took me a while to realize that "enough" is an attitude - not a physical or external state you can ar...
136: The Black Hole of Not Enough
March 17, 2022 16:00 - 50 minutes - 115 MBThere’s a part of me that’s resurfaced recently that I haven’t had to face in months. It’s the part of me that is relentless in downplaying every single thing that I do - the inner voice that’s constantly whispering in my ear “you are not enough”. This feeling is like quicksand; the faster I try to overcome it by filling my day with more actions and accomplishments, the quicker I drown. It took me a while to realize that "enough" is an attitude - not a physical or external...
135: The Empty Calories of Discussing Other People's Lives
March 15, 2022 16:00 - 40 minutes - 92 MBSince moving back to Europe, I’ve noticed how much the conversations around me involve other people that aren’t in the room. Something about this is off to me—gossip isn’t something I consume or surround myself with. I don’t like it or find any value in it. But as I started reflecting and thinking about it more, it dawned on me that there are layers to gossip and different ways to experience it. In this episode, I discuss all of these layers—the dangers and negative effects...
135: The Empty Calories of Discussing Other People's Lives
March 15, 2022 16:00 - 40 minutes - 92 MBSince moving back to Europe, I’ve noticed how much the conversations around me involve other people that aren’t in the room. Something about this is off to me—gossip isn’t something I consume or surround myself with. I don’t like it or find any value in it. But as I started reflecting and thinking about it more, it dawned on me that there are layers to gossip and different ways to experience it. In this episode, I discuss all of these layers—the dangers and negative effects of gossip, but a...
134: Do Your Inner Work At Home
March 10, 2022 17:00 - 33 minutes - 76.8 MBWhere you do your inner work matters. Spiritual trips like retreats, yoga and meditation are vacations. The real inner work is done in the every day life - in your house, with your family and especially with those people in your life who are the most inconvenient. The ones that get under your skin and expose your inner wounds are your spiritual teachers, enlightening you to darker inner truths you carry inside of yourself. In this episode I talk about the importance of doin...
134: Do Your Inner Work At Home
March 10, 2022 17:00 - 33 minutes - 76.8 MBWhere you do your inner work matters. Spiritual trips like retreats, yoga and meditation are vacations. The real inner work is done in the every day life - in your house, with your family and especially with those people in your life who are the most inconvenient. The ones that get under your skin and expose your inner wounds are your spiritual teachers, enlightening you to darker inner truths you carry inside of yourself. In this episode I talk about the importance of doing inner work at h...
133: What We Hate, We Embody
March 08, 2022 17:00 - 26 minutes - 60 MBThis concept is something we’ve discussed in previous episodes, but there’s more to this idea that I want to dig deeper into. It’s the notion that there are two sides to the same coin - that what we hate about others, we embody within ourselves. In this episode, I share a few different stories and anecdotes about my mother and her life that helped me realize that everything in its extremes is always wrong. The truth never lies at the extremes, it’s usually oscillating somewhere in the middl...
133: What We Hate, We Embody
March 08, 2022 17:00 - 26 minutes - 60 MBThis concept is something we’ve discussed in previous episodes, but there’s more to this idea that I want to dig deeper into. It’s the notion that there are two sides to the same coin - that what we hate about others, we embody within ourselves. In this episode, I share a few different stories and anecdotes about my mother and her life that helped me realize that everything in its extremes is always wrong. The truth never lies at the extremes, it’s usually oscillating somew...
132: The Tyranny of Practicality
March 05, 2022 17:00 - 22 minutes - 51.2 MB“Shut the fuck up and do it anyways” used to be my mantra. I lived my life in such a disciplined, pragmatic way, which was great for producing results but I was so out of touch with my own thoughts and feelings that it was creating a negative impact in my life. I realized there is tyranny in practicality. I’m not saying there’s no use in being pragmatic, but life is not always about being practical. How effective is it to think in such a disciplined way when it offers zero...
132: The Tyranny of Practicality
March 05, 2022 17:00 - 22 minutes - 51.2 MB“Shut the fuck up and do it anyways” used to be my mantra. I lived my life in such a disciplined, pragmatic way, which was great for producing results but I was so out of touch with my own thoughts and feelings that it was creating a negative impact in my life. I realized there is tyranny in practicality. I’m not saying there’s no use in being pragmatic, but life is not always about being practical. How effective is it to think in such a disciplined way when it offers zero flexibility? In...
131: The Hidden Mirror of Truth
March 02, 2022 02:58 - 31 minutes - 71.7 MBYou can’t be upset with others and at peace with yourself at the same time. Whatever negative thoughts you observe about someone else or the world around you is a direct projection and reflection of something you’re dealing with within yourself. I've been practicing this for years, and yet, it's still challenging to live this truth daily. We’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but in this episode I’m diving in a little deeper. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep131/ Connect with ...
131: The Hidden Mirror of Truth
March 02, 2022 02:58 - 31 minutes - 71.7 MBYou can’t be upset with others and at peace with yourself at the same time. Whatever negative thoughts you observe about someone else or the world around you is a direct projection and reflection of something you’re dealing with within yourself. I've been practicing this for years, and yet, it's still challenging to live this truth daily. We’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but in this episode I’m diving in a little deeper. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep131...
130: I Want to Be a Mystic When I Grow Up
February 26, 2022 17:00 - 35 minutes - 81.5 MBFor the last 2 to 3 months I’ve been pondering the concept of mystics and the idea of mysticism. To me, a mystic is someone that is placing the mystery of life at the center of their being. As someone who has lived so pragmatically for many years of my life, I found this concept to be wildly exciting, adventurous, and beautiful. I previously lived my life in a way that had so many steps and routines, it was working against me - hindering me from moving forward in the ways I wanted to. So no...
130: I Want to Be a Mystic When I Grow Up
February 26, 2022 17:00 - 35 minutes - 81.5 MBFor the last 2 to 3 months I’ve been pondering the concept of mystics and the idea of mysticism. To me, a mystic is someone that is placing the mystery of life at the center of their being. As someone who has lived so pragmatically for many years of my life, I found this concept to be wildly exciting, adventurous, and beautiful. I previously lived my life in a way that had so many steps and routines, it was working against me - hindering me from moving forward in the ways I...
129: Those Who Don’t Believe in Magic Will Never Find It
February 24, 2022 17:00 - 27 minutes - 64 MBI had an interesting experience recently at 4AM one morning where my hands turned into a tree. Not literally, of course, but they felt heavier, thicker, and larger than they really are. To me this was a symbolic display of how I was feeling recently with my two young sons. I had been constantly on the go and trying to be super dad 100% of the time - it was wearing me down. This experience reminded me of an old truth - there’s as much magic in the world as your heart and mind is open to rec...
129: Those Who Don’t Believe in Magic Will Never Find It
February 24, 2022 17:00 - 27 minutes - 64 MBI had an interesting experience recently at 4AM one morning where my hands turned into a tree. Not literally, of course, but they felt heavier, thicker, and larger than they really are. To me this was a symbolic display of how I was feeling recently with my two young sons. I had been constantly on the go and trying to be super dad 100% of the time - it was wearing me down. This experience reminded me of an old truth - there’s as much magic in the world as your heart and mi...
128: The Danger of Puffing Away Clouds of Worry
February 22, 2022 17:00 - 37 minutes - 84.7 MBI recently had such a stressful dream that when I woke up, the feelings of worry, anxiety and guilt within my dream continued to linger long after I was awake. Typically when I have these little negative thought clouds, I’m able to effortlessly puff them away and return to a sunny state of mind. But I knew this dream was trying to tell me something, so I did an IFS meditation to decode this dream and what it was telling me about myself. In this episode I walk through my di...
128: The Danger of Puffing Away Clouds of Worry
February 22, 2022 17:00 - 37 minutes - 84.7 MBI recently had such a stressful dream that when I woke up, the feelings of worry, anxiety and guilt within my dream continued to linger long after I was awake. Typically when I have these little negative thought clouds, I’m able to effortlessly puff them away and return to a sunny state of mind. But I knew this dream was trying to tell me something, so I did an IFS meditation to decode this dream and what it was telling me about myself. In this episode I walk through my distressful dream a...
127: What Is Your True Intention?
February 19, 2022 17:00 - 13 minutes - 29.8 MBFor the past month I’ve been doing a daily practice of asking myself one specific question multiple times a day. It’s a very simple question and it isn’t some magical, life-changing technique, but it has been extremely illuminating in helping me identify certain patterns in my life. The question is “what is your true intention in this very moment?” And the answer I get most often is a hard truth to face: to avoid doing something else. In this episode I discuss how this dai...
127: What Is Your True Intention?
February 19, 2022 17:00 - 13 minutes - 29.8 MBFor the past month I’ve been doing a daily practice of asking myself one specific question multiple times a day. It’s a very simple question and it isn’t some magical, life-changing technique, but it has been extremely illuminating in helping me identify certain patterns in my life. The question is “what is your true intention in this very moment?” And the answer I get most often is a hard truth to face: to avoid doing something else. In this episode I discuss how this daily practice has h...
126: Bring Death Into Your Day
February 16, 2022 17:00 - 12 minutes - 29.5 MBI’ve been genuinely excited about returning to Germany - getting the chance to hug my children and see my mother, my brothers, my friends and loved ones. I had a moment of clarity when thinking about this upcoming reunion, and while it sounds cliche, I realized that every day is a gift. It’s not a given that I’ll make it to Germany. Tomorrow is never promised. In this episode I talk about the concept of inviting death into my day - not as something to fear, but as somethin...
126: Bring Death Into Your Day
February 16, 2022 17:00 - 12 minutes - 29.5 MBI’ve been genuinely excited about returning to Germany - getting the chance to hug my children and see my mother, my brothers, my friends and loved ones. I had a moment of clarity when thinking about this upcoming reunion, and while it sounds cliche, I realized that every day is a gift. It’s not a given that I’ll make it to Germany. Tomorrow is never promised. In this episode I talk about the concept of inviting death into my day - not as something to fear, but as something to deepen my ap...
125: My First Water Fast
February 15, 2022 17:00 - 57 minutes - 131 MBI recently did a five day water fast, with 4 days of juice fasting (2 leading up to and 2 after the water fast). In this episode, I share how I prepared myself for the fast, what I experienced, and what I learned about my relationship with food and life simply by withholding food for a week. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep125 Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/
125: My First Water Fast
February 15, 2022 17:00 - 57 minutes - 131 MBI recently did a five day water fast, with 4 days of juice fasting (2 leading up to and 2 after the water fast). In this episode, I share how I prepared myself for the fast, what I experienced, and what I learned about my relationship with food and life simply by withholding food for a week. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep125 Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/
124: Experiencing God
February 11, 2022 17:17 - 1 hour - 170 MBThis episode is a deeply personal one in which I discuss my relationship and experience with God. Even talking about it now is still something I’m getting comfortable with. The way I experience God specifically is tricky business—it’s partially a science, partially an art. I’ve been instilling certain practices into my daily life to help nourish this connectedness and by doing so, I’ve discovered that not only has my level of worry and stress decreased dramatically, but my...
124: Experiencing God
February 11, 2022 17:17 - 1 hour - 170 MBThis episode is a deeply personal one in which I discuss my relationship and experience with God. Even talking about it now is still something I’m getting comfortable with. The way I experience God specifically is tricky business—it’s partially a science, partially an art. I’ve been instilling certain practices into my daily life to help nourish this connectedness and by doing so, I’ve discovered that not only has my level of worry and stress decreased dramatically, but my appreciation for...
123: How to Live a Thousand Lives
February 09, 2022 16:00 - 20 minutes - 47.2 MBAs I was meditating recently, I had a realization - something I already knew, but was shifted into crystal clear focus for me. It was a beautiful moment that further clarified my tremendous gratitude and love for books and reading. One of the most amazing experiences to me with reading is that you get to enter new worlds through different human beings—you get to live a thousand lives through many different books if you read them with an open heart and mind. In this episode I discuss my lov...
123: How to Live a Thousand Lives
February 09, 2022 16:00 - 20 minutes - 47.2 MBAs I was meditating recently, I had a realization - something I already knew, but was shifted into crystal clear focus for me. It was a beautiful moment that further clarified my tremendous gratitude and love for books and reading. One of the most amazing experiences to me with reading is that you get to enter new worlds through different human beings—you get to live a thousand lives through many different books if you read them with an open heart and mind. In this episode...
122: Next Level Anger Management: Appreciating My Inner Truth Teller
February 04, 2022 17:00 - 29 minutes - 67.3 MBI've spent a good amount of time over the past 2 years working on the anger that I thought I didn't have. And for the most part, I thought that I was good by now—I felt I had a good relationship with my anger. Until something unexpected happened: I got angry, and I hid it (even from myself). And then my jaw started to get painfully tense again, and it wouldn't relax. I started to work on it, tried all kinds of techniques that I have in my anger management toolbox, thought I had resolved the ...
122: Next Level Anger Management: Appreciating My Inner Truth Teller
February 04, 2022 17:00 - 29 minutes - 67.3 MBI've spent a good amount of time over the past 2 years working on the anger that I thought I didn't have. And for the most part, I thought that I was good by now—I felt I had a good relationship with my anger. Until something unexpected happened: I got angry, and I hid it (even from myself). And then my jaw started to get painfully tense again, and it wouldn't relax. I started to work on it, tried all kinds of techniques that I have in my anger management toolbox, thought I ...
121: The Impersonating Mind
February 02, 2022 20:00 - 23 minutes - 53.2 MBListen to your heart. Get in touch with your body. Trust your intuition. All of these are easier said than done, because they require something from the mind it doesn't like to do: relinquish control. The mind always wants to run the show, and it won't hesitate for a moment to pretend to be all these different parts of ourselves, putting on the costume of the heart and imitating it's voice, telling us what it, the mind, wants us to hear, rather what the heart is actually telling us. In this ...
121: The Impersonating Mind
February 02, 2022 20:00 - 23 minutes - 53.2 MBListen to your heart. Get in touch with your body. Trust your intuition. All of these are easier said than done, because they require something from the mind it doesn't like to do: relinquish control. The mind always wants to run the show, and it won't hesitate for a moment to pretend to be all these different parts of ourselves, putting on the costume of the heart and imitating it's voice, telling us what it, the mind, wants us to hear, rather what the heart is actually tel...
120: Englowment: A Recent Experience Along the Path to Enlightenment?
January 27, 2022 14:09 - 14 minutes - 33.2 MBI recently had an experience where I came close to what I believe enlightenment might feel like. This happened a few days after attending a silent retreat and going on a walk in nature—the intense state of pure love I experienced I'm now playfully going to be referring to as "englowment". It was a beautifully terrifying experience that was almost too much for my mind to comprehend. But since then, it’s led me to a new state of happiness and peace I haven’t previously experienced in my life....
120: Englowment: A Recent Experience Along the Path to Enlightenment?
January 27, 2022 14:09 - 14 minutes - 33.2 MBI recently had an experience where I came close to what I believe enlightenment might feel like. This happened a few days after attending a silent retreat and going on a walk in nature—the intense state of pure love I experienced I'm now playfully going to be referring to as "englowment". It was a beautifully terrifying experience that was almost too much for my mind to comprehend. But since then, it’s led me to a new state of happiness and peace I haven’t previously experienced in my life....
119: Discovering Silence: 7 Ways I Practice Silence Daily
January 25, 2022 17:00 - 39 minutes - 90.7 MBSilence is an essential element of inner work. But in modern life, it's pretty much as rare as a precious metal. It's so easy to always be distracted, constantly consuming some kind of information or entertainment, engaging in some activity—we've got infinite ways to keep our minds busy. You have to consciously create silence in your life. Silence is the space in which insight and wisdom can grow, and in silence you can hear your inner voice loud and clear. Silence is holy. In this episode, ...
119: Discovering Silence: 7 Ways I Practice Silence Daily
January 25, 2022 17:00 - 39 minutes - 90.7 MBSilence is an essential element of inner work. But in modern life, it's pretty much as rare as a precious metal. It's so easy to always be distracted, constantly consuming some kind of information or entertainment, engaging in some activity—we've got infinite ways to keep our minds busy. You have to consciously create silence in your life. Silence is the space in which insight and wisdom can grow, and in silence you can hear your inner voice loud and clear. Silence is holy. ...
118: The Courage to Not Hide Your Struggles
January 09, 2022 02:18 - 14 minutes - 13.7 MBThis is part of a conversation we've had in August of 2020, where we discussed the courage it takes to share your weaknesses. Many people think that I don't care what other people think about me—but nothing could be further from the truth. For most of my life, I cared deeply about impressing others, and I got very good at hiding my own struggles and weaknesses—not only from others, but even from myself. And I even judged people who shared their weaknesses openly, was repulsed by it. But heal...
118: The Courage to Not Hide Your Struggles
January 09, 2022 02:18 - 14 minutes - 13.7 MBThis is part of a conversation we've had in August of 2020, where we discussed the courage it takes to share your weaknesses. Many people think that I don't care what other people think about me—but nothing could be further from the truth. For most of my life, I cared deeply about impressing others, and I got very good at hiding my own struggles and weaknesses—not only from others, but even from myself. And I even judged people who shared their weaknesses openly, was repulse...
117: The Power of Timing
December 30, 2021 09:38 - 58 minutes - 54 MBRecently I've been experimenting a lot with timing: changing not so much what I do, not really adjusting my habits, but simply being more mindful of when I do these things. And I found that even doing the exact same thing can have an immensely different impact on my life just because of when I do it. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep117/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/
117: The Power of Timing
December 30, 2021 09:38 - 58 minutes - 54 MBRecently I've been experimenting a lot with timing: changing not so much what I do, not really adjusting my habits, but simply being more mindful of when I do these things. And I found that even doing the exact same thing can have an immensely different impact on my life just because of when I do it. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep117/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/
116: Bewunderung—Keeping Your Sense of Wonder Alive
December 04, 2021 12:17 - 29 minutes - 27.2 MBThere's a German word I really love: Bewunderung. It's commonly translate as 'admiration', but that doesn't quite capture the full meaning of the word. In this episode, I talk about the art of keeping and cultivating a sense of wonder about life, and the people in your life. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep116/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/
116: Bewunderung—Keeping Your Sense of Wonder Alive
December 04, 2021 12:17 - 29 minutes - 27.2 MBThere's a German word I really love: Bewunderung. It's commonly translate as 'admiration', but that doesn't quite capture the full meaning of the word. In this episode, I talk about the art of keeping and cultivating a sense of wonder about life, and the people in your life. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep116/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/
115: Study Less, Do More: The Surprising Truths IFS Revealed
November 28, 2021 07:29 - 39 minutes - 35.8 MBI've now been studying Internal Family Systems (IFS) for a long time, and it's taught me so much about myself that I decided to take an online course on it. But I don't really want to learn more about IFS to know IFS. I want to learn more about IFS so I can use it for my own inner work. And so rather than mastering the theory of more aspects of IFS, I decided to instead really focus on applying what I learned to myself, and just do one exercise I found particularly helpful a...
115: Study Less, Do More: The Surprising Truths IFS Revealed
November 28, 2021 07:29 - 39 minutes - 35.8 MBI've now been studying Internal Family Systems (IFS) for a long time, and it's taught me so much about myself that I decided to take an online course on it. But I don't really want to learn more about IFS to know IFS. I want to learn more about IFS so I can use it for my own inner work. And so rather than mastering the theory of more aspects of IFS, I decided to instead really focus on applying what I learned to myself, and just do one exercise I found particularly helpful again and again—an...