IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
210 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 days ago -This podcast will help parents of teens keep life's struggles as a teen, and as a parent of a teen, in perspective. Parents will learn real tools to help them help their teens. They will learn how to build a rock solid relationship with their teen so they will have a powerful impact and a positive influence on their teen's life.
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Episodes
Choose A Better Stress Response!
June 23, 2022 07:00 - 28 minutes - 19.4 MBYou Don't Have To Be the Victim to Stress Seems like lately I've seen a lot of posts about stress and anxiety being terrible and traumatic. Stress gets this terrible wrap, and it seems like most posts talk about the stress response simply being the 4 "F's": Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn But these posts completely ignore all of the other possible responses to stress. Human beings are capable of so many other options when it come to stress response. Stress has gotten a bad wrap fo...
Stop Reacting to Distractions!
June 16, 2022 07:00 - 19 minutes - 13.7 MBDistractions 101 It's human nature to be easily distracted. In fact, distractions aren't necessarily all that bad. It reminds me of this dumb game that my kids play. They pretend to punch each other in the face, and if the other child flinches, the first child says, "two for flinching" and slugs them in the shoulder twice. Flinching isn't bad. It's a protective reflex. Being distracted isn't bad, it's part of our human nature to always be on the lookout. To always be looking for the nex...
Working with Teens with Cynthia Coufal
June 09, 2022 07:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBRegulating Emotions It's important for teens to learn how to regulate their emotions. Teens have the power to regulate. Teens Need Their Privacy when Getting Coached There's no right or wrong way to coach. It's important to give teens privacy and let them be vulnerable. Teen Work Benefit from Working On What They Want To Work On Teens need the freedom to work on things that are important to them. They will learn powerful skill in areas that are important to them, than they can al...
Keys to Effective Family Meetings
June 02, 2022 07:00 - 28 minutes - 19.6 MBWhy Do Family Meetings? Increased communication Plan Activities Address Problems Give Family Members a Voice Model/Teach Leadership and Communication Skills Get people on the same team Common Mistakes Not respecting the opinions, thoughts, views, and values of others, Trying to change others. Lecturing/Arguing Not having a clear purpose Giving away your power Recommended Components Clear Purpose and Intention Tackle just one topic Come to the meeting with an idea of where you want the...
How to be Brave with Jackson
May 26, 2022 07:00 - 26 minutes - 18.4 MBWhat Is Bravery? Bravery is facing your fear. Bravery is a choice. The world would have you believe that bravery means the absence fear, but I believe bravery is facing your fear and BEing intentional. Like, brave people don't experience fear, but this isn't true. Brave people experience fear, just like you, but they have mastered the skill of BEing intentional in the face of their fear. Bravery Requires Fear Fear is not the enemy. In fact, fear is a required emotion for bravery...
Mental & Emotional Health
May 19, 2022 07:00 - 24 minutes - 16.8 MBMental and Emotional Health Go Hand In Hand May is mental health month, so I keep seeing lots of posts about mental health. I wanted to take a minute and share my thoughts on this. I believe that mental and emotional health go hand in hand. Without one, you cannot have the other. If you want to strengthen one, you'll have to strengthen the other. If you strengthen one, you'll strengthen the other. Mental and Emotional Health go together like the chicken and the egg. You can't real...
Your Family Will Change When You Do
May 12, 2022 07:00 - 19 minutes - 13.4 MBYou Are The Most Powerful Agent Of Change This might come as a surprise to you, but you are the most powerful agent of change for your family. You are a hero! You have the power to change EVERYTHING in your family, just by changing yourself. If you are listening to the podcast, you are probably looking for growth and some kind of change in your family, your parenting, or your teen. I'm here to tell you that YOU have the power to change your whole entire world! This is not what the wo...
Connection Based Parenting with Crystal Haitsma
May 05, 2022 07:00 - 42 minutes - 29.4 MBWhat is Neurocontrast and Neurodivergent? Neurodivergent is the opposite of neurotypical, often adhd, odd, dyslexia a diagnosis of some type. Neurocontrast is a little more inclusive. Everyone's brain is different. Learning is Learning, and Your Teen IS Learning Everyone's brain develops differently. We learn at different speeds. We learn different things at different times. Your teen is learning, whether you see it or not. Crystal lets her kids learn to read when they are ready and...
Boundaries, Myths, and Secret Tips!
April 28, 2022 07:00 - 25 minutes - 17.8 MBCommon Mistakes When Setting Boundaries I'm not trying to judge you or how you set boundaries. I'm just trying to share some of the common pitfalls that I've noticed parents often make when trying to set boundaries. Usually, the only reason I would call it a "mistake" is that it doesn't create the results that they are looking for. MISTAKE: Setting boundaries to control your teen. SECRET TIP: Shift your focus from your teen (something outside of your control) to what you can control, h...
Parenting Vulnerability with Stefanie
April 21, 2022 08:00 - 40 minutes - 28 MBSorry for the short show notes again, but I'm still recovering from Covid-19 and I didn't plan this episode ahead of time. Stefanie, Real Life Parent from FFP The Firmly Founded Parent teaches things that are different than what the world would have you believe. The world would teach you that "It's your job to control your teen," but we teach that it's NOT your job to control your teen. It's your job to control yourself! It's your job to manage your mind, your emotions, and your action...
Let's Talk about Suicide with Sara Visser
April 14, 2022 07:00 - 39 minutes - 27 MBSorry for the shortest show notes ever, but I've got Covid-19 and a killer headache. What You CAN and CAN NOT Control It's not your job to ensure your child's safety, happiness, or success. This is hard when it comes to self-harm and suicide. We tend to think that we need to protect our children. At the end of the day, we can only do what is within our control. We cannot control whether our children self-harm. We cannot control how our children think or feel. We can only control our ...
I'm Not Perfect, Now What?
April 07, 2022 07:00 - 28 minutes - 19.8 MBImperfection Is Part of Being Human One of the things that I see all the time with both my teen clients and my parent clients is frustration about not being "better." If you're like many of my clients, you have been frustrated with yourself for not being "better." Maybe you yelled at your teen, and you wish you could go back in time and unsay some of the things you said. Maybe you didn't handle a situation with your spouse exactly how you wanted to, or maybe you made a mistake and you'r...
My Teen Won't Change, Now What?
March 31, 2022 07:00 - 20 minutes - 14.3 MBNo Matter What I Do, My Teen Won't Change One of the things that I hear a lot is, "We've tried EVERYTHING, and nothing we do works." To which I usually ask, "How do you know nothing is working?" And the parents typically replay, "My teen won't change." If you've ever thought that "nothing is working" when it comes to your teens, it's probably because you are focused on changing your teen. My favorite question that I often get from parents is, "My teen won't change, now what?" The reaso...
Let Go of What You Can't Control: A real life example with Theresa.
March 24, 2022 07:00 - 49 minutes - 33.8 MBParenting From Fear Parenting from fear is common for parents, and it's a symptom of focusing on things outside of your control. When we do this, we typically catastrophize and see all the things that could go wrong. Theresa was afraid that her teen would be arrested. She was worried that he'd be behind bars and "ruin" his life. This caused Theresa to yell and try to control her teen. She thought that she needed to fix him and protect him from himself. Parenting From Shame It's also c...
Awareness, Acceptance & Intentionality
March 17, 2022 07:00 - 28 minutes - 19.9 MBAwareness, Acceptance, and Intentionality Have you ever been dissatisfied and launched into action to try to fix it? I'm going on a diet. I'm starting an exercise program. I'm getting a new job. I'm getting a coach. These are all examples of launching into DOING new or more or different things. The problem is, if you haven't gained awareness and acceptance, you're basically throwing darts in the dark. Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that cr...
How to Love Yourself More with Ali Terry
March 10, 2022 08:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBThe World Thinks We Need To Better Love OTHERS It seems like there's a lot of talk of loving one another or simply loving others, but I believe it starts with your ability to love yourself. Most People Ignore Their Self Love If you don't love yourself, it makes it hard to love others. Most people completely ignore their own self-love and focus on whether or not others love them. You don't have to "make" others love you. Loving yourself is not Narcisistic Loving yourself doesn't mea...
Confident Parenting with Heidi Benjaminsen
March 03, 2022 08:00 - 34 minutes - 24 MBWhat holds Parents Back? DOing things "Right." There's no right or wrong way from parenting. SO many different ways. "I'm going to try this . . . " Trust that you are doing things exactly how they should be. Being afraid of doing it wrong will paralyze you. This leads to disappointment and regret. The "Wrong Way" Can Totally Be the "Right Way!" No matter what, you can turn tough parenting moments into powerful parenting moments. You don't have to be perfect. Just do your best! ...
Lead Your Life Boot Camp with Joey Mascio
February 24, 2022 08:00 - 25 minutes - 17.5 MBDay 1 The Origin of The Hero Day one was the scariest day for me. I've spoken in public many times, but this time was different, it was in front of hundreds of teenagers. At most, we probably only spoke to about 200-250 students at a time, but that's a lot of teens. The goal was to share a message that was fun and entertaining, yet educational and motivating, and from each period we wanted to get about 10 to 20 students to signup for our 4-day boot camp. It was amazing to speak to th...
Lean Into Your Parenting Fears
February 17, 2022 08:00 - 26 minutes - 18.4 MBMost People Move Away From Fear It's natural as human beings to want to move away from fear. Fear is usually uncomfortable, and most humans try to move away from and avoid discomfort. In the past, moving away from fear served us very well, both as a species and also individually. As a species, moving away from scary animals and circumstances helped keep our species alive. As individuals, avoiding scary things has helped keep you comfortable and safe. Avoiding scary situations is a n...
Bring Balance to Your Relationship
February 10, 2022 08:00 - 26 minutes - 18 MBYour Teen Wants YOU To Connect With Them! If you're like the parents I work with, you want a better relationship with your teen. Me too! In fact, I want to help as many parents as I can to create better relationships with their teens. The problem is, . . . . . . If you're like most parents, you want your teens to connect with you . . . . . . BUT, your teen wants YOU to connect with them! And, what ends up happening looks a lot like this. You try to get your teen to change, (get b...
Please Share Your Connection
February 03, 2022 08:00 - 31 minutes - 21.6 MBHumans NEED Connection Being connected a fundamental human need. One of the struggles that we've been facing over the years in education is a lack of connection. One of the struggles that I believe is facing families is a lack of connection. And, I believe that we are starting to see the consequences. Schools are focusing more and more on academics and results. Covid has made things tough. Phones, electronics, and social media are all competing for our attention and our teen's attentio...
Nothing Has Gone Wrong!
January 27, 2022 08:00 - 21 minutes - 14.6 MBNothing Has Gone Wrong, Even When Your Team Loses! The idea for this episode came to me while I was watching a bowl game with my wife. Pitt and Michigan State were playing. Pitt was winning most of the second half and it looked like they'd cruise on to victory pretty easily, but with less than 3 minutes left, everything changed. Michigan State drove down and scored a touchdown, went for two, and went up by 3. I'm sure Pitt fans were worried, but there was still plenty of time for th...
Daily Habits for Parenting Success
January 20, 2022 08:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBDaily Habits for Parenting Success Set Your Intention Each Day Last thing before you go to bed, set your intention for the following day. First thing when you wake up in the morning, remind yourself of and commit to your intention. Here's some examples from my life. Today I will listen with curiosity, patience, and love. Today I will be fun, energetic, and engaged with my children. Today I will learn a new way to connect with my 15 year old son. Commit to Connection Daily Be 100% c...
Trust - My Word for 2022
January 13, 2022 08:00 - 20 minutes - 14.1 MBWhy Is Trust Important To Me? One of the reasons that I've chosen "TRUST" as my word of 2022 is because I often catch myself not trusting myself and others. One of the things that I've found is that the more I trust myself, the more my business grows. Another thing I've found is that the more I trust others, the better I feel. I would rather trust people than distrust them. I like how it feels better than distrust. So this year as a parent, I'm committing to trust myself. I'm trusti...
Your Teen's Model
January 06, 2022 08:00 - 28 minutes - 19.9 MBDon't Try To Force The Model On Your Teen One of the most powerful tools that I teach is the Self-Coaching Model! When I teach it to parents they love it and say it makes total sense. Usually when I teach it to teens the model they love it. But, I've noticed a trend with teens whose parents are coaches or who have coaches. Oftentimes, these teens tell me, "I hate the model!" Every time this has happened, it's because their parents have tried to force the model on them or tried to ge...
From Tough to Powerful Parenting Moments
December 30, 2021 08:00 - 23 minutes - 16 MBWhat's a "Tough" Parenting Moment? Bottom line is, whether or not a parenting moment is "TOUGH" or not is based on your thoughts about the moment. Tough parenting moments can be anything from a fight with your teen, to broken rules, to letting go and letting your teen make their own mistakes. If you're like most parents, you've experienced tons of "tough" parenting moments. You know the frustration, disappointment, anger, and even sorrow that can come with tough parenting moments. W...
Better than Happy with Jody Moore
December 23, 2021 08:00 - 39 minutes - 27.4 MBIt's Common to Think Your Not Good Enough We have 60,000 thoughts each day. 85% of those thoughts are negative. 95% of those thoughts are habitual thoughts. It's okay! This is part of being human. You do though, have the power to retrain your brain and develop new thought patterns. It's natural to think that you are not good enough, but I promise you that you are good enough! You are exactly the parent that your teen needs. Now, you get to move forward and become the parent of you...
Boundaries Made Simple
December 16, 2021 08:00 - 20 minutes - 14.3 MBBoundaries Aren't Meant to Control Anyone One of the biggest mistakes I see parents making when it comes to boundaries is when they make a boundary hoping that it will change their teen's behavior. Anytime you are hoping to change your teen's behavior, that is more of a manual or manipulation than it is a boundary. Boundaries aren't meant to control anyone, especially not the other person. It is important to remember that you cannot control anyone other than yourself. Any effort made...
Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone with Ali Terry
December 09, 2021 08:00 - 36 minutes - 24.9 MBDiscomfort Sparks Growth Most people who sign up for coaching with me do it because they are experiencing discomfort of some kind. They want to change something so that they can feel better. Discomfort isn't a problem, it's just part of the human experience. Discomfort helps us know when something is wrong. Discomfort helps us know that it's time to make a change. Discomfort has the power to fuel the effort to create a change. When we can look at discomfort this way, without judgeme...
Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone
December 09, 2021 08:00 - 36 minutes - 24.9 MBDiscomfort Sparks Growth Most people who sign up for coaching with me do it because they are experiencing discomfort of some kind. They want to change something so that they can feel better. Discomfort isn't a problem, it's just part of the human experience. Discomfort helps us know when something is wrong. Discomfort helps us know that it's time to make a change. Discomfort has the power to fuel the effort to create a change. When we can look at discomfort this way, without judgeme...
How to Sleep Better
December 02, 2021 08:00 - 28 minutes - 19.9 MBWhy is Sleep So Important? Sleep is SUPER Important, and yet it's often one of the first things to sacrifice when you're busy or ignore when you're busy. A lack of sleep has been linked to several physical, mental, and emotional problems. One of the things that teens that I work with have told me is that they started to feel better when they started sleeping better. Sleep is literally a bodily function. You have to sleep. Could you imagine if you didn't go to the bathroom for a da...
How to Regain Parental Control
November 25, 2021 08:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MB"I Feel Like I'm Losing Control!" One of the things that I hear the most from parents is, . . . . . . "I feel like I'm losing control!" The next thing they tell me is, . . . . . . "I don't know what to do!" If you're like most parents, you've probably experienced this before and felt completely out of control and lost as to what to do about it. If you're like most parents, this probably leads to fighting, arguing, and power struggling with your teen, and it's NO FUN AT ALL! One of...
3 Steps to Self-Care
November 18, 2021 08:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MBPut On YOUR Oxygen Mask FIRST! If you're like most parents, you've been guilty of putting everybody else's needs above your own. If you're like most parents, you've probably bragged about some of the sacrifices that you've made for your children. Sacrificing for your loved ones isn't the problem. The problem is when you take care of the needs of others at the expense of your own needs. This is a huge problem because if you don't take care of your needs, who will? If you don't take ...
Gratitude Makes Everything Better
November 11, 2021 08:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBI Love November! I love Halloween, which is the day before November. I love Thanksgiving, and I love when my birthday falls on Thanksgiving. I love the fall, the leaves, the cool/changing weather, and I love everything about November. And, I especially love the focus and extra push when it comes to gratitude, appreciation, and giving thanks. The Power Of Gratitude I believe that gratitude is a simple, yet powerful emotion. There are some positive emotions that some people strug...
How to Stop Yelling at Your Teen!
November 04, 2021 02:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MBIf You Want to Stop Yelling At Your Teen, Stop Yelling at YOURSELF! Okay, so this might be a stretch. You probably don't "yell" at yourself out loud, but be honest, how do you speak to yourself on the inside? How often do you "yell" at yourself in your head? How often do you tell yourself that you're "not good enough", or that you "should have done better"? The truth is, if you want to stop yelling at your teen, you have to stop yelling at YOU! Start treating yourself with kindness, a...
Horror Stories About Grades
October 28, 2021 07:00 - 25 minutes - 17.8 MBGrades Aren't As Important As We've Been Taught When I was getting close to graduating high school, I was told that I wouldn't be able to go to college due to my poor high school GPA (2.0 something) and my poor ACT score (17). For years leading up to my graduation, I was told that I would have to improve my grades if I ever wanted a job other than digging ditches or some other type of manual labor. For years I was told horror stories about people who had so much potential, but poor grade...
Your Teen is Doing Their Best!
October 21, 2021 07:00 - 43 minutes - 29.8 MBParenting is Hard, and That's Okay! First off, . . . Go listen to this podcast. This post will not do it justice! I don't plan out my interviews, so it's I also don't write as detailed a post on my interviews. And, YES, . . . Parenting can be hard. I love how Tara mentioned that God gives us hard things to do to help up depend on him. Anytime I'm struggling as a parent, or even as an entrepreneur, I like to remember that God is giving me these struggles to remind me to depend on h...
Scary Feelings!
October 14, 2021 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.2 MBAre You and/or Your Teen Emotionally Healthy? It's unfortunate that when most people refer to "Emotional Health", they are actually referring to the lack of emotional health. I hear people saying things like, "They have some emotional health issues," or, "They are struggling with emotional health." But, who actually knows what emotional health is? When I ask teens, "What do you think Emotional Health is?" they usually tell me one of two things. Either, #1 "It means you're happy all of ...
The Thinker of Your Thoughts
October 07, 2021 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBYou Can't Stop Thinking! Because you are human, your brain is constantly at work, whether you are awake or asleep, whether you are concentrating or daydreaming, your brain is constantly thinking. The goal of coaching isn’t to turn off your brain or to even control your thoughts. The goal is to be able to be aware of your thoughts and to have the power to manage your thoughts. You CANNOT control all of your thoughts. There are Different Types of Thoughts This is not an all-inclusive lis...
What Are Your Values?
September 30, 2021 07:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBDo You Know What Your Values Are? If you are like most people, you have a pretty good idea of what your personal values are, but I'm guessing you don't really spend a lot of time thinking about it. Sometimes when I work with teens who think that they have no values. Everyone has values, but most people don't take the time to identify them or really even think about them. That's okay, but it can sometimes be hard to know exactly what your values are. Sometimes we think one thing is a v...
What if You're Already the Perfect Parent?
September 23, 2021 07:00 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MBWhat If You Were The Perfect Parent? I asked this the other day in one of my Impact Parenting Group calls. This idea of "perfect" parenting kind of shook the zoom room. There's so much shame around the word "perfect". Most parents just believe that they aren't perfect and that they aren't good enough. If you're like most parents, you believe this too, and it leads to shame, worry, and fear. BUT, . . . . . . What if YOU were the perfect parent? What would that change in your life? ...
3 Tips to Make Parenting Simple
September 16, 2021 07:00 - 26 minutes - 17.9 MBHow To Make Parenting Simple! #1 Define Your Role! One of the things that makes parenting harder that it needs to be is Not knowing your role! If you don't know what your role, or purpose, is as a parent, everything feels like a battle. When you don't define your parenting role, you get tossed from one roll to the other. It's hard to be intentional when you don't know what your role is. #2 Only Focus on What YOU Can Control. One of, if not THE, most powerful things you can do as a...
How to Be the Hero in Your Relationships
September 09, 2021 07:00 - 16 minutes - 11.7 MBPrinciples of Being a Relationship Hero #1 Be 100% Responsible for YOUR Relationship with Them If you're like most people, you've blamed your relationship on the other person in the relationship. "If my teen would . . . " "If they would start . . . " You are responsible for how you feel towards the other person in your relationship. Relationsponsibility (Joey's made up word) #2 Relationship Hero vs Relationship Victim Victims and sidekicks have to rely on somebody else. Save yours...
What Can You Learn from Your Child
September 02, 2021 07:00 - 50 minutes - 34.8 MBChoose to Love! What a pleasure to interview Bonnie Lyman from Bonnie Lyman Coaching! When I interview people, I like it to be natural and unscripted. So, to be completely transparent, I don't plan out my interviews, which makes it harder to make show notes. So, if you want to get all of the amazing teachings that Bonnie shared, make sure that you listen to this episode. These show notes don't do it justice. I love that she taught us that you have to CHOOSE LOVE! I think that since lo...
My Top 3 Lessons From Coaching Football
August 26, 2021 07:00 - 28 minutes - 19.8 MBI LOVE Football! First, I want to say that I LOVE football! It really helped me as a struggling teen, and even as an adult, football plays a beneficial part in my life. Lessons I've Learned So Far that You Can Use with You and Your Teen! Feedback is important! This is the first year that I've coached with this set of coaches. One of the things that I've noticed that sets the best coaches apart from the others is their ability to give consistent feedback! The coaches who are most res...
Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety For You & Your Teen
August 19, 2021 07:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MBStress is Impacting EVERYONE These Days! This DOESN'T Have To Be A Bad Thing! What You and Your Teen Can Do! Here are a few things that you and your teen can try to help you gain some power and control over your stress and anxiety. Gain some awareness when it comes to stress and anxiety. Most people avoid feeling stress and anxiety, and because they avoid it, they never fully experience it, and they never truly become aware of what's trully going on. To gain some awareness around it...
Interpretations and the Stories We Tell
August 12, 2021 07:00 - 22 minutes - 15.8 MBHow to Be Intentional With Your Interpretations. First, you have to be aware of what your interpretations are. To do this, practice awareness throughout the day. When you notice an interpretation, identify and label it. "This is an interpretation." Thought downloads are also powerful tools to help you identify your interpretations. Any time you find yourself saying things like, "It's not fair," "My teen's lazy," "I'm not good enough," or "This is bad." These are all interpretations. S...
Be the Change LIVE Parent Training
August 05, 2021 07:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MBYOU Have the Power to BE the Change Most parents, in fact, most human beings, go around blaming others for things that they want to change. They position themselves as the victim in life and in the stories they tell themselves. You have the power to create change, when you are willing to be the change you are looking for. When you stop trying to change others, you change YOU! 3 Reasons Why Being the Change Is SO Powerful #1 You Become the Hero! When you commit to BEing the change, yo...
How to Disrupt Your Parenting Patterns
July 29, 2021 07:00 - 20 minutes - 14.4 MBWe Are Designed To Follow Patterns Our brain is designed to identify and create patterns. We do this in an effort to conserve energy, increase our chances of survival, and make life easier. This isn't a bad thing. So many of the things that we do are based on patterns that we've picked up. Many of these patterns help us be healthy, productive, and happy humans. There are, however, patterns that do not serve us. Have you heard the story of the mother who cut the end off the ham before s...
Habitual Beliefs
July 22, 2021 07:00 - 26 minutes - 18.1 MBWhat are Habitual Beliefs? Habitual beliefs are beliefs that are simply habits. If you're like most people, you think and believe them without even realizing it. Just like most other habits, you've thought and believed these beliefs so many times that they come completely natural to you and it all happens unconsciously. Most people believe their habitual thoughts are actually fact or truth. When this happens, you start to incorporate your habitual beliefs as part of your identity. Habit...