How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

The P.E.A.C.E. Process

Divorce can be a complicated process, especially with children. The acronym PEACE can be used to remember the major points. We talk through each of the points on the show today. When filing for divorce, keep these in mind. P – Parenting Plan: Required under Florida law and is split into parental responsibility (decision-making), child time-sharing (custody and visitation), and everything else that goes along with raising kids. E – Equitable Distribution: How your assets (things yo...

It’s Time for Listener Questions!

Listener Questions on Alimony, Co-Parenting, and More In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into their mailbag to answer pressing questions from listeners. From alimony calculations to co-parenting challenges, Seth and Pete offer their insights and advice on navigating the complexities of divorce. Seth and Pete tackle a range of topics, including how judges handle parenting plans for previously uninvolved parents, the intricacies of Florida's ...

Divorce and Your Kids: Understanding the Impact and Helping Them Cope with Cathy Himlin

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the challenging topic of how divorce impacts children. They're joined by special guest Cathy Himlin, a reunification/conjoint family therapist, to discuss the child-centered approach in divorce parenting and what parents need to know to maintain a healthy connection with their kids. Seth, Pete, and Cathy explore how parents' grief, anxiety, and emotions during the divorce process can affect children. They discuss th...

When Your Financial Partner Leaves: Overcoming Money Fears Post-Divorce with Ben Hockema

Navigating Your Financial Mindset After Divorce In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the psychological impact of divorce on financial decision making. They're joined by certified financial planner Ben Hockema, who shares his insights on helping individuals rebuild their lives and relationship with money post-divorce. Seth, Pete, and Ben explore how divorce can drastically change one's financial psychology, often leading to a scarcity mindset. They dis...

Résumé Revamp: Post-Divorce Job Hunting with Josef Stetter

In this episode, Seth and Pete welcome Josef Stetter, also known as "The Résumé Whisperer," to share his insights on creating a compelling post-divorce résumé that will help you land the job you desire. Seth and Pete discuss with Josef the challenges faced by individuals re-entering the workforce after a divorce. They explore strategies for highlighting transferable skills, quantifying accomplishments, and showcasing the unique value you bring to the table. Josef emphasizes the imp...

Jennifer Lee • Rewriting Your Money Story: From Limiting Beliefs to Financial Freedom

Rewriting Your Money Story During Divorce In this episode, Seth and Pete aim to help listeners understand the role money plays during divorce. They are joined by guest Jennifer Lee, founder of Modern Wealth, who specializes in helping people take control of their money story. Jennifer provides insights into common money issues that arise during divorce and how to overcome emotional and practical hurdles. The main discussion focuses on understanding your unique money story, dealing ...

Jill Moellering • Fuel Your Body, Not Your Stress: Healthy Eating Through Divorce

Fueling Your Body Through Divorce and Beyond Seth and Pete welcome Jill Moellering, a functional nutritional therapy practitioner, to discuss how divorce affects our relationship with food. Jill offers guidance on overcoming disordered eating and embracing a balanced approach to nutrition. This compelling episode tackles the mental and emotional roots of unhealthy eating habits. Seth and Pete explore how grief, loss of control, and stress – factors in any divorce – impact our food ...

Beverly Price • From Victim to Survivor: Reclaiming Your Power in Divorce

In this empowering episode, Seth and Pete are joined by Beverly Price, founder of Her Empowered Divorce, to discuss how to overcome domestic abuse and take control of divorce proceedings. Beverly shares her personal story of persevering through multiple divorces and emerging stronger. She provides insights on effective communication, documenting abuse, and building a supportive team. This is an inspiring conversation about reclaiming your agency during a challenging time. Key Takea...

Rebroadcast • Keeping Kids as the Focus: Successful Co-Parenting with Sarah Armstrong

“We owe it to them to ensure they’re not collateral damage due to this divorce.” Meet Sarah Armstrong Sarah works at Google but decided as a side gig to write her book “The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved” largely because it gave her the opportunity to share what she’d learned during her own divorce with others. And that’s not to say her divorce was a cakewalk. It was hard. It provided challenges for her, her ex, and their daughter. ...

Rebroadcast • Healing Trauma, Rebuilding Life with Dee Wallace

How do you heal after living through the trauma of divorce? How do you help your kids heal when they live through their own experience of your trauma? Whether you consider yours an easy divorce, or a hard one, the act of separating lives is traumatic, and the impact of trauma can sneak up on you. As we wrap up this season of the show, we want to take some time to talk about that healing process and we have the perfect guest to help us do that. Dee Wallace is an actor and a healer,...

Demystifying Divorce Appeals: An Insider’s Guide from Judge Matt Lucas

Navigating the Appeals Process in Divorce with Judge Matt Lucas For our final episode of the season, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright chat with Judge Matt Lucas, an appellate court judge from the Florida Second District Court of Appeals, about the mysterious appeals process in divorce cases. They aim to shed light on what an appeal is, what appellate judges do, and what happens behind the scenes at the appellate court. This insightful episode covers the technical details of appeals and ...

Reinventing Life After Divorce with Dawn Fleming

Reinvent Yourself After Divorce In this week's episode, Seth and Pete chat with midlife reinvention expert Dawn Fleming about rebuilding your life after divorce. They cover everything from rediscovering old hobbies to going back to school to finding new purpose and passion. Seth and Pete start by unpacking Dawn's own "attorney turned alchemist" story. She shares how she reinvented herself multiple times through divorce, career changes, spiritual journeys, and ultimately creating a ...

Mindset Makeover with Hilary DeCesare

Transforming Mindset and Finding Hope After Divorce Seth and Pete welcome Hilary DeCesare, founder of Relaunch Co. and expert in neuropsychology, to discuss shifting limiting beliefs during divorce. This episode focuses on adjusting your mindset during a challenging life transition like divorce. Hilary shares her 3HQ model for getting into your best emotional and mental state before major conversations or decisions. Questions we answer in this episode: How do I stop negative self-...

Toasting Our Destinies: Pete and Seth Get Astrologized

Seth and Pete welcome back author and astrologer Bethany Nicole for a fun, end-of-year bonus episode to dive into astrology and what their birth charts reveal about themselves. Can ancient astrological wisdom provide guidance and direction or is this just a fun experiment? Bethany interprets Seth and Pete's charts to uncover strengths, weaknesses, and life paths. This astrology session provides some eye-opening self-discovery and personal growth for the hosts, all while allowing fo...

Answering Our Listeners’ Burning Questions

Get Answers to Your Divorce Questions In this week's episode, Seth and Pete tackle real questions submitted by listeners who are going through a divorce or have been affected by one. They provide practical tips and legal perspectives to help you navigate some of the common issues that arise during separation and divorce. Seth and Pete aim to offer actionable advice and reassurance that you're not alone in this difficult process. Their insights can help you make informed decisions a...

How the F*ck Do I Heal from This? with Dr. Justine Weber

Navigating Narcissistic Relationships and Healing After Divorce Seth and Pete welcome Dr. Justine Weber, a psychologist who helps people recover from narcissistic abuse. They discuss how to identify narcissistic behaviors, cope with divorce from a narcissist, and heal after leaving the relationship. The conversation focuses on rebuilding your sense of self and reality after narcissistic conditioning. Justine offers insights into childhood attachment styles and trauma responses that...

From Financial Fears to Financial Freedom with Leah Hadley

Financial Abuse, Credit Card Debt, and Rebuilding Finances Post-Divorce In this informative episode, Seth and Pete dive into the heavy topic of financial abuse with expert guest, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Accredited Financial Counselor Leah Hadley. They discuss the various forms of financial abuse, the mindsets and behaviors that enable it, and most importantly, how to recover and rebuild your financial life after divorce when financial abuse was present. Leah shares...

Rebuilding After the Wreckage: Finding Purpose After Divorce with Therapist Furkhan Dandia

Rediscovering Purpose After Divorce In this thoughtful episode, Seth and Pete explore the journey of finding meaning after divorce. They're joined by therapist and author Furkhan Dandia, who shares his own divorce story and path to advocacy. Together, they take an enlightening look at processing divorce trauma in a healthy way. They touch on moving past limiting beliefs, redefining relationships, and gaining resilience. While centered on men's experiences, their insights apply to a...

Love Bombing, Hoovering, and Crazy-Making: Discussing Narcissists' Manipulation Tactics with Sherry Gaba and Carla Romo

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships This week's episode dives deep into the warning signs of narcissism, how to protect yourself if you're in a relationship with a narcissist – or trying to get out of one – and the journey to rediscover your self-worth after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Seth and Pete's guests share from their expertise as therapists and life coaches that specialize in healthier relationships. Questions we answer in this episode: What are some common...

When Co-Parenting Falls Apart: Navigating Care for a Special Needs Child After Divorce

Navigating Co-Parenting of a Child with Special Needs In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into a challenging listener question about co-parenting a child with special needs after divorce. They aim to provide guidance and perspective, even when there are no easy solutions. Our listener wrote in, explaining how their once amicable co-parenting relationship completely deteriorated over disagreements related to caring for their special needs child after the di...

Divorce Across Borders: Handling Immigration While Untying the Knot with Tahmina Watson

Navigating the Intersection of Immigration and Divorce Law Divorce is complicated enough, but what happens when immigration status enters the picture? This week, Seth and Pete aim to provide guidance on navigating this complex legal maze. They're joined by immigration law expert Tahmina Watson. She shares invaluable insights on the nuances of divorce and custody when immigration status plays a role. Tahmina offers an in-depth look at key considerations for both family-based and em...

Gray Divorce Dilemmas: Linda Hershman on Discernment Counseling and Untying the Knot in Your Golden Years

On this episode of How to Split a Toaster, hosts Seth Nelson and Pete Wright speak with licensed marriage and family therapist Linda Hershman. They discuss the rising trend of "gray divorce" among older couples, the practice of discernment counseling, and how divorce later in life impacts adult children. Key Takeaways on Gray Divorce Gray divorce rates have risen dramatically, from 10% of couples over 50 getting divorced in 1990 to 25% in 2020. The rate increases for second and th...

Apology Accepted: Writing the Apologies You Never Got with Bethany Nicole

Learn How to Write Your Own Apologies and Move Forward After Divorce In this week’s episode, Seth and Pete chat with relationship expert Bethany Nicole about the importance of letting go of past hurts through writing your own apologies. Bethany shares her unique “apology writing” process to help people heal and move forward after painful experiences like divorce. Seth and Pete break down key steps for writing apologies for yourself when you don’t receive them from others. This allo...

Breaking Free: Overcoming Childhood Trauma with Coach Riana Milne

Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Building Healthy Relationships In this informative episode, Seth and Pete welcome special guest Riana Milne, a relationship expert and trauma counselor. They have an enlightening discussion about childhood trauma, how it impacts adult relationships, and strategies for healing. Riana shares profound insights from her decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. She outlines the most common types of childhood trauma and explains how they ofte...

Snore No More: Saving Your Marriage by Saving Your Sleep with Hostage Tape’s Alex Neist

How Snoring Can Lead to Divorce In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, hosts Seth Nelson and Pete Wright explore the connections between poor sleep, snoring, and divorce. Their guest is Alex Neist, creator of Hostage Tape, which produces anti-snoring mouth tape. Alex shares how his snoring led to his divorce. The hosts dive into the impacts of sleep problems on relationships and solutions anyone can try. Snoring as a Divorce Factor Studies show links between sleep issues and di...

Strategic Money Moves for Your Post-Divorce Life with Financial Planner Stacy Francis

Planning Your Finances for Life After Divorce Ending a marriage brings major financial changes. In this week’s episode of How to Split a Toaster, hosts Seth Nelson and Pete Wright talk with financial planner Stacy Francis about how to prepare your finances for a stable life after divorce. They also tackle a listener question on calculating living expenses post-split. Stacy Francis is a certified financial planner who founded Francis Financial, a wealth management firm specializing...

Split Happens: Using Laughter to Get Through Your Divorce with Comedian Keila Dolle

Finding Humor and Healing Through Hard Times In this How to Split a Toaster episode, hosts Seth Nelson and Pete Wright interview comedian, podcaster, & filmmaker Keila Dolle about using humor to heal during divorce and trauma. Keila Dolle hosts the mental health podcast Crying Behind Sunglasses, where she has raw, honest conversations about mental health issues while finding the humor in them. Key Discussion Points Origins of Keila's podcast and passion for destigmatizing mental...

Battling Brainwashing and Frivolous Motions: Divorcing a Cult with Peter Young

Overcoming Cult Manipulation and an Impossible Divorce Peter Young joins hosts Seth Nelson and Pete Wright to share his harrowing experience getting sucked into a cult led by his wife's "Uncle Robert", trying to save his marriage and protect his kids, and the messy divorce that followed. Peter's Story Peter met his wife Paige when he was working as a sports broadcaster in Idaho. Paige had been born into a cult led by "Uncle Robert" and was completely under his control. Though ske...

Navigating Mental Health: Divorce Realities with Scot and Emily McKay

Seth Nelson and Pete Wright explore a deeply sensitive subject—dealing with mental illness within a marriage. Scot and Emily McKay, bestselling authors, podcasters, and BMX champions, bring their own experiences to the table, sharing how their previous marriages were affected by partners grappling with profound mental health issues. In a candid conversation, Scot and Emily recount the red flags and realizations that accompanied their relationships with partners dealing with mental ...

Streamlining Your Split: Decluttering Divorce Chaos with Julie Coraccio

In this enlightening episode of "How to Split a Toaster," hosts Seth and Pete are joined by acclaimed expert Julie Coraccio to explore the art of post-divorce decluttering. As life takes a new direction after divorce, the accumulation of both emotional and physical clutter can become overwhelming. With Julie's expert guidance, listeners will uncover practical strategies to not only declutter their spaces but also declutter their minds during this transitional phase. Julie Coraccio,...

Figure Out Who You Are and How to Love Yourself Again with Ashley Abramson

Shedding Self Judgment in Favor of Self Love Getting lost in a marriage happens for a variety of reasons – you grow apart from your spouse, your kids move out, other changes happen in your lives. But at the end of the day, it may boil down to the fact that you don’t really know yourself. Ashley Abramson is a solution focused self love mentor and trauma coach who joins Seth and Pete to talk about the important journey you need to make – whether it’s before you get married, during yo...

Navigating Business Partnership Post-Divorce with Guest A.J. Grossman

Divorcing When Also in Business Together Florida family law attorney A.J. Grossman joins Seth and Pete today to tackle the complexities of getting a divorce when you’re in business with your spouse. It’s complicated, but it’s doable! Sometimes, you don’t want to be in business anymore. Sometimes, you’re planning on staying on as working partners after the divorce. And is it possible you’d lose the business? So how do you do it? They tackle many questions in this episode. What do y...

Divorcing a Narcissist with Guest Victoria McCooey

Learning to Communicate with a Narcissist Narcissist Divorce Coach Victoria McCooey joins Seth and Pete to talk about the challenges that come when trying to get out of a marriage to a narcissist. It’s not easy! We walk through Victoria’s three stages in communicating with your narcissist soon-to-be ex that can help you more easily navigate this difficult situation through each of its phases. Victoria has been through her own divorce from just this sort of person and has turned th...

Learning to Take the High Road with Andy Heller

Why Is It So Hard to Take the High Road? In the last decade, Andy Heller wrote two books on real estate investing while running an international freight forwarding company. So why is he the guest on this episode? Well... then he got divorced.  Andy took the lessons of the challenges of that experience and reframed it into his third book, “Take the High Road: Divorce with Compassion for Yourself and Your Family.” He joins us to talk about all the roads he has taken along the way, a...

Is Life Happening TO You or Is Life Happening FOR You? A Conversation with Resilience Coach Michelle Dickinson

Today, we’re talking about resilience. It’s an easy word to throw around when you’re feeling strong, but when you’re confronted with divorce, finding that same strength can feel impossible. Michelle Dickinson is a resilience coach, speaker, and author, and also leads a successful Resilience Coaching practice where she and her coaches work with individual clients to help them reclaim balance and personal power, and create better structures and routines that help them feel more in con...

Demystifying Legal Research and the Appeals Process with NLG Family Law Associate Attorney Tia Rowe

NLG Family Law associate attorney Tia Rowe joins Pete to talk about two important topics to help those going through a divorce – legal research and the appeals process.  Legal Research What should you expect from the research effort? Why is research important? Tia fills Pete in on why this is a valuable part of every case, where lawyers search, how they stay current, and more. They also talk about the difference between case law and statutes, and how case laws sometimes are just b...

Changes in Florida’s Alimony Law: A Special Episode

Effective vs. Aggressive Lawyering: A Conversation with NLG Family Law Attorney Geneviève Torres

We’re challenging stereotypes and taking on a question you might just be asking if you’re on the hunt for representation: Do you need an asshole lawyer? Is that different than an aggressive attorney? Or assertive? Pete’s joined by Geneviève Torres, a family law attorney at NLG Family Law, to help break this down for you. The real key is that you get an effective attorney. Sometimes, the challenge comes in the client wanting the attorney to actually be more aggressive. Still, there’...

Coaching for Court and Why You Shouldn’t Throw in the Towel: Answering Listener Questions with NLG Family Law Attorney Paul Phipps

Seth is still away so we’re going to be inviting various people from NLG Family Law to sit in with Pete and take on some other listener questions about divorce. In today’s episode, attorney Paul Phipps joins Pete to answer a few questions. The questions they take on today: I just want the quickest divorce possible and for my ex to just keep everything, why is this not a good idea? Don’t lawyers just want to drag out divorce cases as long as possible to make more money? Coaching fo...

Dealing with a Problematic Soon-to-Be Ex: A Conversation with NLG Family Law Attorney Sterling Lovelady

Seth is still away so we’re going to be inviting various people from NLG Family Law to sit in with Pete and take on some other questions about divorce. In today’s episode, attorney Sterling Lovelady joins Pete to talk about dealing with a problematic ex. The first subject they tackle is the challenging decision about whether to leave your alcoholic spouse or not when they’re in a time of need. Should you feel responsible? How do you navigate through those feelings?  The second topi...

Rebroadcast • A Judge’s Perspective on Divorce Court: Chatting with Judge Wesley Tibbals

Meet Judge Wesley Tibbals May it please the court! In this week’s classic rebroadcast, we’ve got a special guest today who knows a thing or two about the workings of divorce court, and that’s because he’s a judge! That’s right, we figured it was about time that we had an actual judge on to make sure we’re not just making stuff up. Judge Wesley Tibbals talks with Pete and Seth today about life behind the bench in divorce court. There’s a lot to talk about and Pete and Seth have a lo...

Rebroadcast • Healthy Financial Conversations for a Heathy Divorce with Rhonda Noordyk

Rhonda Noordyk is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and CEO of the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. In her work, she helps women ask tough questions so that they get the answers that they need to navigate the divorce process.  This week on the Toaster, Rhonda shares her insights on financial awareness in the marriage and why it is so important to a healthy communication practice, and a healthy divorce. Her practice is just a part one resource in the process...

Rebroadcast • Splitting The Holidays!

Welcome to Summer! It's that time of year we love to celebrate by taking just a few weeks off to plan, rebuild, and get refreshed for a new season in the fall. So we have a few episodes from the archives to share with you this year that will be dropping in your feed over the coming weeks. First up, what was originally an episode about splitting the fall holidays comes today just in time for summer! Go on, sing it with us... "It's the most wonderful time of the year..." It's the mos...

Season Seven Mailbag! Questions From Our Listeners

It’s time to end our seventh season and what better way than to answer some of your questions! We’ve had a wide variety come in and tackle a number of them in today’s episode. Here are some of the questions we look at. I never legally adopted my spouse’s kids from a previous marriage, but I love them like my own. Will I lose the right to see them? What happens if divorce is against my/my spouse’s religion? My spouse is threatening suicide if I leave. What do I do? What if I can’...

Divorce Through the Kids’ Eyes: A Conversation with Documentary Filmmaker Ellen Bruno About ‘Split’

But What Do the Kids Think? According to our guest today, divorce is a monster under kids beds. In her ongoing film project, Ellen Bruno is putting kids’ voices first, hearing how a group of young people view divorce over the long arch of their young lives. The 2013 film Split: The Early Years introduces us to 12 kids adapting to divorce in their families. This year, we catch up with those same kids after a decade’s passed in Split Up: The Teen Years as they reflect on how their li...

Estate Planning & Appealing Your Divorce: When Final Doesn’t Mean Finished

You’re done with your divorce. That means you’re done with lawyers, right? Not necessarily! In today’s episode, Seth and Pete talk about a few cases in which you may need to talk to a lawyer again – if you want to appeal your divorce, and for post-divorce estate planning.  It’s a rare thing for judges to make mistakes when it comes to divorce cases, but it does happen. That’s when you’d want to appeal your divorce. Seth and Pete talk about other situations that may require going th...

Parent Coordination 101

The role of a parent coordinator is to assist co-parents in resolving disputes and making decisions related to their children, particularly in the context of a divorce or separation. Precisely what your parent coordinator does for you can vary depending on your jurisdiction and the terms of the court order or agreement calling for their participation in your parenting agreement.  A few considerations, though: first, if you have an agreement between co-parents in place, and you’re c...

Surviving the Vocational Evaluation

The vocational evaluation is a process used sparingly in divorce, but if you’ve been through one, you know how challenging it can be. It’s a process used in divorce cases to assess the earning potential of a spouse who is seeking spousal support (also known as alimony or maintenance) or to determine their ability to pay support.  During a vocational evaluation, an expert will be hired to assess the spouse's skills, education, work history, and job market opportunities to determine ...

Winning Your Divorce! with exExperts Jessica Klingbaum and T.H. Irwin

Winning Your Divorce with the exExperts T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum Two friends who ended up getting divorced at the same time, Jessica and T.H. were frustrated as they tried finding a single source for help with divorce. That pushed them to start up their new company exExperts. There, along with their own podcast Divorce Etc..., they give people going through divorce and people figuring out how to survive and thrive after divorce advice on how to make it easier. But what does...

HSPs: Navigating Divorce When You’re a Highly Sensitive Person with Chris Lyon

Dealing With Divorce When You’re a Highly Sensitive Person Nearly 30% of us are highly sensitive people – or HSPs – and if you count yourself in that group, it makes divorce a materially different experience. Today on the show, we welcome Chris Lyon, a relationship author and facilitator. She is a coach, board certified hypnotist, certified in Applied Neuroscience and Brain Health and she’s been helping people with relationships with themselves and others in her practice for 23 yea...