Ficta Inferno
152 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 2 ratingsDramatic readings of terrible fanfictions/fiction from the internet
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Episodes
Twilight: Episode 8 (ravioli ravioli tell me more about yourself)
February 05, 2023 18:39 - 1 hour - 103 MBBella, Jess, and Angela finally make it to Port Angeles. Bella does not believe in the buddy system and almost gets a true crime documentary made about her, and then Edward saves her before taking her out to dinner. No woman can take their eyes off of Edward I guess?
Twilight: Chapter Seven (All blonds are evil I guess?)
January 22, 2023 06:00 - 1 hour - 58.9 MBBella thinks Edward is going to stand her up for their Seattle trip, Angela and Rebecca (insert generic girl name here) invite Bella to help with dress shopping. We’re still surprised Charlie hasn’t asked his own daughter to the dance since EVERYONE ELSE HAS.
Twilight: Episode Six(Boy throw rock. Rock impressive)
January 15, 2023 06:00 - 1 hour - 70.1 MBWe’ve arrived at La Push, unraveling more of the sexism in Meyer’s work as well as hoping Bella actually does fall into the ocean (she does not). Hey Jacob, where ya been loca?!
Twilight: Episode Five (Germlin Bella would have been a far more interesting Bella)
December 18, 2022 06:25 - 1 hour - 73.6 MBWe’re back in school and everything is super confusing, especially with a certain someone suddenly deciding to be friends with Bella. That and a few forgotten moments come back, genuinely it’s funny.
Twilight Episode Four (three dudes, one dance. Who will she choose? No one.)
December 11, 2022 17:59 - 1 hour - 108 MBHow do we forget that three people asked Bella to a dance in one day, a dance where she’s supposed to ask someone? That and Edward is a pretty shit.
Mine: Michael Myers x Reader (Solo Maya Episode!)
December 04, 2022 06:00 - 52 minutes - 48.9 MBWith the pretense of horror and suddenly having an X Reader with the longest-running Boogeyman in the horror world, it's a strange mix of bad writing, an exciting concept, and then a wish for things to be told from the perspective of the man behind the mask himself. It's not bad, not really- it just needs to be polished up a little bit. Hopefully, Maya can deliver a fun reading of Mine
Twilight: Episode Three (Edward and Bella are just fighting cats)
November 13, 2022 15:29 - 1 hour - 95 MBMore than enough information about snow is given, Edward keeps gate keeping, gaslighting, and girl bossing, Bella is an unreliable narrator, and Meyer doesn’t know shit about black ice. Book Poll: https://take.quiz-maker.com/poll4576396xBAC74F02-143
Twilight: Episode Two (Edward finally took a big sh*t)
October 30, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 87.4 MBChapter two doesn’t get any better. We’re supposed to hate teens for being teens? And once more the extent of just how much Bella obsessed over Edward was forgotten. Also #TeamMike
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
October 23, 2022 05:00 - 15 minutes - 14 MBIn light of busy schedules, let’s celebrate spooky season a little bit with some old stories from a long off childhood.
Twilight: Episode One( We get it Bella, everything is green!)
October 09, 2022 05:00 - 2 hours - 117 MBIt’s that time of the year again, and this time we unlock our inner cringe. Twilight had a special place in the hearts of those that read it early on, then the movies came along. Does the book still hold up? Not really honestly, it’s a love hate relationship at this point in time. But we’re still reading it. #TeamEric
Jeff the Killer x Reader Cringe Part 2 (Technical difficulties)
October 02, 2022 08:04 - 44 minutes - 41.3 MBWe get a recap of the actual story of Jeff the Killer, other creepy pastas make an appearance, pretty sure everyone is going to have a crush on Della, and everything is still confusing.
Jeff the Killer x Reader Cringe
September 18, 2022 05:00 - 56 minutes - 52.2 MBComing at you with even more cringe, our reader character ‘Della’ doesn’t know anything about self-preservation and how it’s NOT okay for someone to just break into your house, even if it is to make you pancakes.
Joker x Reader Cringe End (Because this is a *VERY* healthy relationship*)
September 11, 2022 05:43 - 1 hour - 91.8 MBAt last we reach a very anti-climatic end that doesn’t leave anyone feeling good…like at all. Eloise is still not like other girls and Siah and Maya reveal too much about knowing how blood spatter works.
Joker x Reader Cringe Part 3 (Just lay back and think about better smut)
September 04, 2022 06:55 - 1 hour - 101 MBWe got the spice! Sort of, it’s…it’s okay, but it’s not…great. So warning for that, and character death. Eloise has Stockholm Syndrome at this point, Joker is a piece of shit, and a lot is learned about the hosts when it comes to taste in dirty fiction.
Joker x Reader Cringe Part 2 (when is it supposed to be sexy?)
August 30, 2022 00:59 - 1 hour - 102 MBTrigger Warning for abusive relationships: Due to brilliant timing and forgetfulness, this episode comes a day late. It’s basically Fifty Shades meets 365 Days with the worst parts meeting one another. Also there’s a long con? There’s a long con involving cards…the card game doesn’t make sense. Help.
Joker x Reader Cringe (I want to get off the ride now)
August 21, 2022 08:41 - 2 hours - 130 MBAfter last weeks unexpected break, today’s feature is a small blurb of cringe fanfiction brought to you by Wattpad. Author and name of the fic are not mentioned. Please enjoy this tale about the reader, whom happens to be an exotic dancer, working for Jared Leto’s joker. Man I wish it was Lego Batman Joker.
The Mister: Part One
August 07, 2022 06:46 - 1 hour - 108 MBOh snap here we go again. EL James’ book The Mister is also as sensual as wet cardboard and as sexy as the elder Kellog brother’s stance on libido- which is that is gross and disgusting. Literally there’s nothing sexy about this book.
It me, ur smol
July 31, 2022 05:00 - 10 minutes - 5.16 MBFriends for Robots is a collection of short stories by Merc Fenn Wolfmoor, available on Amazon both kindle editions and paperback. Other works include So You Want To Be A Robot. The story today, It me, ur smol, is about a neural network trying to get humans to drink more water.
Empress Theresa: Episode Fourteen (I wanna get off the ride now!)
July 24, 2022 05:00 - 3 hours - 175 MBFirst and foremost, Norman’s website: http://empresstheresa.com In one of our longest episodes, we cover why Theresa shouldn’t be trusted with these powers and why she’s over all just not a good person character-wise- the fact that Norman wrote it this way is deeply disturbing.
Empress Theresa: Part Thirteen (This episode is cursed)
July 17, 2022 05:48 - 2 hours - 145 MBDespite being sidetracked, as always, the discussion of just what a hero is comes into question. Theresa is plainly not that at all, if you couldn't already see, but Author-Chan seems to keep trying to push that on all of us. The absolute worst of Theresa just seems to come out here, there's something Norman doesn't seem to quite understand, and it's frustrating to the point of where in each chapter the same mistakes keep getting repeated. Theresa isn't a hero, she's just fixing the world sh...
Empress Theresa: Part Twelve
July 10, 2022 06:42 - 1 hour - 102 MBNorman still doesn’t know how the environment works, somehow there are nuclear explosions going off, and this idea to save the planet is so insane it can’t even work in the science fiction sense.
Empress Theresa: Episode Eleven (This is the start of something new…a dystopian future)
July 03, 2022 19:42 - 1 hour - 80.3 MBTheresa goes on a picnic like the not so average bear instead of trying to save the world, but she ‘fixes’ the problem anyway. North Korea does some shady shit while Melvin is away, Theresa actually cries because what will she do without her man? Also she keeps fucking up the environment, the narwhals call for blood.
Empress Theresa: Part Ten (Because only men can talk and announce things I guess)
June 26, 2022 05:40 - 1 hour - 59.5 MBTheresa becomes a ‘pin-up’ girl and increasingly becomes insufferable. HAL learns some new tips and tricks, none of which actually make sense right off the bat, and this chapter is so forgettable we probably didn’t need to read it.
Empress Theresa: Part Nine (Passport to Paris)
June 19, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 69.3 MBTheresa and Melvin take it to Paris y’all! And they make asses of themselves. Are we surprised? No, no we are not surprised by this at all. Travel guide Maya is here to talk about that one.
Empress Theresa: Part Eight
June 12, 2022 05:00 - 2 hours - 112 MBTheresa and Marvin are reunited and given residence in a mansion in the countryside of England, Norman gets everything wrong. Hundreds of soldiers are in the forest, we’re pretty sure they’re reenactors or something.
Empress Theresa: Part 7 (somehow we get offended again)
June 05, 2022 19:24 - 1 hour - 69.5 MBLiterally nothing happens, everyone gets offended to the point of not finishing the chapter and just goofing off for a few minutes. The author published this not once, not twice, but four times and he didn’t bother to fix some language that’s definitely problematic.
Empress Theresa: Part Six
May 29, 2022 22:44 - 1 hour - 95.4 MBThe BBC special keeps going on, Siah and Maya keep getting offended, save the seapuppies, and Norman knows nothing.
Empress Theresa: Part Five
May 15, 2022 17:01 - 2 hours - 114 MBWhen are we getting to the story? This is the story! Somehow both Siah and Maya get offended at the same time by the author, and for some other reason we have to know every little detail of what happened to Theresa after she was in the water. The author has a weird obsession with Theresa having this squeaky clean image and you know what, it’s boring. She’s really the person that reminds the teacher you have homework.
Empress Theresa: Part Four
May 01, 2022 05:25 - 1 hour - 102 MBComing to you from Maya’s house. The longest and most ridiculous chapter so far. Why the coke bottles? How many times did Winnie crop dust us? It’s only chapter 4 and it’s being going on for too long.
Empress Theresa: Part Three
April 24, 2022 05:38 - 2 hours - 132 MBSomehow we always mention a bukakke, where there is a group of men we always find a way to squeeze it in. Also Norman doesn’t know how to write women decently, Theresa is boring, and if I have to google the college she’s going to to understand everything then you’re explaining things wrong Norman.
Empress Theresa Part 2
April 17, 2022 05:00 - 30 minutes - 28.1 MBLiterally nothing but something happens? The Amazon Commercial from Hell is retold and Jan goes missing, but no one really cares but we do? Also there’s been three presidents that all sound very boring. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Empress Theresa Part Two
April 17, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 76.4 MBLiterally nothing but something happens? The Amazon Commercial from Hell is retold and Jan goes missing, but no one really cares but we do? Also there’s been three presidents that all sound very boring.
Empress Theresa: Part One
April 03, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 84.5 MBWell, we thought Handbook was bad- this is kind of sort of worse. Listen as Maya becomes unhinged and starts speaking of outer gods that aren’t really there in the text, trust us this is for the best. Get ready for a lot of improv and inflection changes.
The Dawn of Empress Theresa
March 30, 2022 05:00 - 2 minutes - 2.36 MBAn excerpt of what is to come needed to be shared, no context and just know to buckle up buckaroos.
ModelLand Episode 20: The End
March 27, 2022 05:00 - 2 hours - 115 MBHere we have chapters 46, 47, and 48. Most things are wrapped up, Maya wastes money on the splash zone, and will we ever see hunchy ever again? Find out in the final installment of ModelLand.
ModelLand Episode 19: Ch. 41, 42, & 43
March 20, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 151 MBChapter 41: Stone to Bone and Flesh, Chapter 42 La Trois Carpines, and Chapter 43: Porcelain Living Dolls. All is revealed about Creamy and her apparently mysterious past, the Belladonna is finally seen, and Persimmon deserves better!
ModeLand Episode 18: Ch. 37, 38, 39, 40
March 13, 2022 06:00 - 2 hours - 128 MBToday we have chapters 37: ManAttack and Heartache, 38: Left, Right, Left, 39: Breathless Sister-Friends, and 40: The 7Seven Tournament. A lot happens over these chapters, Tyra tries to knock-off quidditch, Tookie and Bravo are Toxic, Ci~L comes clean about stuff and stuff, and now we have a tournament suddenly happening!
ModelLand Episode 17: Chapter 35: Deco and Chapter 36: All Hail Queen Creamy
March 06, 2022 06:02 - 1 hour - 108 MBBoys are not allowed in the D guys, okay? And Bravo breaks this rule just to see Tookie and tell her a little story, and things get a little bit awkward when sexy chicken tenders are brought up. Also Creamy is still pure evil because she is still willingly sacrificing people to the monstrosities that dwell within the Diabolical Divide.
ModelLand Episode 16: Chapters 31, 32, 33, and 34
February 27, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 140 MBThe names of the chapters couldn’t even fit in the episode title! Today we have Chapter 31: Despairing Desperation, Chapter 32: There no, has never been, and never will be, Chapter 33: The Mutant Music Monster, and Chapter 34: The Mad Woman of the ModeLand. It just keeps getting crazier and crazier here. Apparently crossing the wall is a big no-no and yet the young Bella's are never told, Tookie doesn't know what to do, Creamy is going mad with power and bloodlust, and Zarpessa has got so...
ModelLand Episode 15: Ch 28: The 3 Decrees, Ch 29: Flute Creepers, Ch 30: Dhead and Dread
February 20, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 107 MBThese chapter titles seem to be getting longer and longer. Tookie slept walked from the OR-UK and into the M building, which just seems to be where the gurus drink coffee and try to out-cat each other, Creamy and Myyrcle are still making their way up the Diabolical Divide and are more or less up for murder at this point, and finally Tookie and Bravo awkwardly (?) flirt with one another.
ModelLand Episode 17: Ch 28: The 3 Decrees, Ch 29: Flute Creepers, Ch 30: Dhead and Dread
February 20, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 72.9 MBThese chapter titles seem to be getting longer and longer. Tookie slept walked from the OR-UK and into the M building, which just seems to be where the gurus drink coffee and try to out-cat each other, Creamy and Myyrcle are still making their way up the Diabolical Divide and are more or less up for murder at this point, and finally Tookie and Bravo awkwardly (?) flirt with one another. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Early to Rise (Valentine's Day Special 2022 part 2, we read a good fic)
February 15, 2022 03:56 - 11 minutes - 15.8 MBMaya has had it with the bad fan-fiction and at last there is one (in her opinion) good one that is read. Short, sweet, and very much in the Valentine’s Day spirit.
It's Been Some Time (Valentine's Day Special 2022)
February 15, 2022 03:24 - 2 hours - 234 MBWell, we're back at it with the robot banging again. The reader is a nanny, she gets the hots for Glamrock Freddy-obviously we do not read the whole fic; but enjoy the story!
ModelLand Episode 14: Chapter 26: The Porcelain Pact & Chapter 27: Z,
February 13, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 132 MBTrigger Warning: Mentions of eating disorders and self-hate. Tookie and company become the Knee Maracas (Unicas) and become the support they need while at ModelLand, and then it becomes kind of apparent that Bravo might actually like Tookie and the hospital section of ModelLand is bonkers as shit.
ModelLand Episode 13:Chapter 24 W.O.W & Chapter 25 One Bee-otchhh
February 06, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 132 MBDue to issues with the audio, the episode intended for January 30th couldn't be uploaded: so here we are. Months have passed and we're in another weird class that's super important, also there's cats with human faces. No one is really comfortable with that.
ModelLand Episode 12: Chapter 22: Fused Flashback Females & Chapter 23: The Diabolical Divide
January 23, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 85.7 MBTrauma, Trauma, Trauma- at last we have more trauma that's shared amongst the group. Except Tookie, Tookie doesn't get the trauma for today. That and we're reintroduced from past characters, plotting something that sounds rather nefarious. Hmm, who could it be and what is it that they could be up to?
ModelLand Episode 11: Chapter 20: Run and Gun & Chapter 21: Jammers, Chowers, and Poachers
January 16, 2022 06:59 - 1 hour - 128 MBTrigger Warning: implications of self-harm and eating disorders: Gunnero is the worst, Ci~L is the worst, Zarpessa is the worst, and literally everyone is the worst. Two more classes in and we get Tyra making an appearance and the second class…well, it’s a Feeders dream come true I’ll tell ya that alone.
ModelLand Episode 10: Chapter 18: La Lumiere & Chapter 19: Caracaracara
January 09, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 87.2 MBSo we're kind of sort of really in ModelLand. We get the D(orms) and experience one of the strangest classes, you'd be asking for advanced Chemistry again. Also we tell time by color here...color. We tell time by color-like that won't be a problem. Also all these teachers (so far) are trash.
ModelLand Episode 9, Chapter 16: THMC Tamasa & Chapter 17: La Lumiere
January 02, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 134 MBWe’re finally in ModelLand(?) and it just keeps getting weirder and weirder. The teachers suck and literally everyone is a weenie it feels like. There’s still much confusion over the fact that Tyra just couldn’t come up with fake places vs combining names of real places with each other or elements from real places.
ModelLand Episode 8: Chapter 14: Arancia Rossa Di Sicilia & Chapter 15: The Belladonna's Burden
December 26, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 97.6 MBWe're kind of in ModelLand, but we're not in ModelLand. There's a tour, but not a tour, and we meet the person that apparently runs this shitshow. It's gotten even more confusing, but at least we've made it up the mountain and through the doors! Also there's a song that's not sung, but just remember guys; the Belladonna is singing.