Ficta Inferno

My Immortal Episode 3 (Trigger warnings, hallway sex, and so much more confusion)

October 18, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 91.3 MB

We're almost there, we're almost there- the end is near my friends I swear! We find ourselves dealing with new character assassinations and drops as well as the story itself going awry. How will Eboby defeat the Dark Lord? Why are there so many guns in the Wizarding world? Why are so many men still after Egogy's booty!? (She's a mary-sue, duh). The spookiest has yet to come gentle listeners.

My Immortal Episode 2 (How many concerts do we get?)

October 11, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 92.3 MB

Welcome to episode 2! More misspellings, concerts, and things that just shouldn't be. The author and editor have a falling out over a...poster? and a...sweater? And there's a lot of weird banging, we don't know why it's there, but it's there and it makes us all uncomfortable! Also Enoby just wishes she could just be normal, and like...there's just too many weird things that don't make sense. Find out by giving it a listen!

My Immortal Episode 1 (Fangs, geddit!?!?)

October 04, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 106 MB

To start off the Halloween season, Ficta Inferno presents one of the most notorious fanfictions out there in the world: My Immortal. Eboby is a 17 year old Mary-Sue with a 'dark and terrible' past, that we never hear of, and is head over heels for this fic's version of Draco Malfoy. What's happening? No one is really sure, half of the writing is unintelligible and completely off the walls!

50 Shades Darker (The Movie)

September 27, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 101 MB

We return with the...thing that follows the other thing. It's a movie based off of a book, which was based off of a fanfiction; it's almost two hours long and absolutely nothing happens. Masquerade? It's a failed attempt. Danger? Nope. There's so much that happens, that it feels unimportant and...it just isn't good at all. It's not even so bad it's funny at this point.

50 Shades of Grey (The Movie)

September 20, 2020 05:00 - 2 hours - 132 MB

Well, it finally happened. The movie has been watched and here is our play by play about it. Due to the origins of this piece of...fiction, it only seemed suiting for a first on this podcast! With this in the works, we can only wonder what doors this will open for future episodes.

Bad Blood Episode 2 (Will anything happen today? Probably not)

September 13, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 98.1 MB

As we read further into the crossover that no one asked for, it takes a turn for the worst as it seems to just become a basic retelling of the events of The Walking Dead with some magic thrown in for Deus ex Machina reasons, and to make Harry look like the cool guy even further. Zero shits are given as Harry practices magic in front of mortals and nothing else is heard from anyone else in the magical community. Seriously, how could Hogwarts fall in a situation like this? It's a castle, for M...

Bad Blood Part 1 (When did Harry get a gun!?!?)

September 06, 2020 05:00 - 2 hours - 119 MB

As we get into spooky season, we start the crossover of the Walking Dead and Harry Potter. Did we ask for this? Not really...but let’s start the madness!

PXrn Princess Episode 5 (0/10 would not recommend this tattoo and piercing parlor)

August 30, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 75.7 MB

With our final episode (for now) of PXrn Princess coming to an end, we are left with questions and more irritation. I don't think I've hated a character more, considering this is all original and just blah. We will return when we've gathered out wits and unlocked more...since I ain't paying no cash for this pile of trash. Next Sunday we'll be diving into a whole new story, of zombies and wands.

Pxrn Princess Episode 4 (When I say shotgun you say wedding, Shotgun-wedding, shotgun-wedding)

August 23, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 84.7 MB

We delve deeper into rants on just how unstable Mary-Sue Ivy Lynn is and just what it is she does at the tattoo shop. We're still not entertained nor amused by her, and apparently no one can do anything unless she is there or it is said in front of her. Just one more episode after this and we will be taking a bit of a break to...digest...whatever it is that has gone on here. Also, in social media news, we now have a Tik-Tok if any of you are interested. See more of our hi-jinks at @fictainfe...

Pxrn Princess Episode 3 (I can’t even anymore with this BS)

August 16, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 82.8 MB

Nothing really progresses. There’s a lame attempt at humor followed by the author obviously trying to set up a multitude of relationships up for later. We later come to ask ourselves why we are here, where we are going, and when will the suffering end? And Paul’s back!

PXrn Princess Episode 2 (There’s a very series lack of pxrn in the story)

August 09, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 103 MB

Oooohh we’ve got a badass here! Not really though: Mary-Sue Lynn Whatever Her Name Is lives the thug life(?) but it’s just really confusing to her character and we still have no idea who half of the people in this story are, but they keep treating us like old friends that know EXACTLY who we are, how we like our drinks mixed, and say our name as we walk through the door- we are too embarrassed to say I know none of them. There’s also a bunch of moments that go ‘This couldn’t have possibly hap...

Pxrn Princess Episode 1

August 02, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 82.4 MB

It's original fiction time again, and let's just say hold onto your hats as we roll into the world of the porn industry and chubby chasers...as according to an author who can't use the right there/they're/their or here/hear to save her God damn life. Ivy (her name will be forgotten often) is a triple threat of an artist living with her roommate Aubrey and is next door neighbor's to one of her favorite authors (surprise surprise). Everything gets twisted turned upside down as a Porn Star and P...

The One Where They F@ck The Raptor (Raptor Carer Part 2)

July 26, 2020 05:00 - 51 minutes - 47.4 MB

Just a warning here, there is a graphic depiction of a character engaging in sexual intercourse with...a...um...dinosaur...it sure is something traumatizing for us all! The main character (whose name is forgettable) accepts her new reality rather instantaneously. The danger that gets introduced here never gets mentioned again, at least there's an ending to this madness.

The One Where They DON'T F@ck The Raptor (Raptor Carer Part 1)

July 19, 2020 05:20 - 1 hour - 71.7 MB

Not even in our wildest dreams would we think that someone would make a fan-fic like this, it's utterly...strange. Without any spoilers for the whole story, the first part involves a Mary-Sure, ripped actions from the film, and then a whole bunch of other weirdness involving raptors. It doesn't get freaky this time around to say the least.

True Love Never Dies (MIKE NOOTON RETURNS!!!)

July 12, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 57.7 MB

Will we ever understand the purpose of some of these fics? Bella is a cheerleader (again), Mike is somehow the love interest, and Edward is the new kid in town (his eyes are red?). At least this time Edward sounds like a person talking normally, thought the same cannot be said for Bella.

FaCe ThE StRaNgE Part 4 (Short read BUT SERIOUSLY IT SUCKED)

July 05, 2020 05:00 - 52 minutes - 49 MB

Never has there been more of a tale of woe, than Dally and her edgelord harem...finally they get on with the plan, Harry kidnaps a baby, Heiei and Dally's relationship isn't all sunshine and sparkles, we get another new character that shows up for like one chapter, and then we get a strange and lackluster sort of ending that just...ends, but it's still an ending nonetheless.

FaCe ThE StRaNgE Part 3 (Edward is a NICE GUY and HOW DARE Dally not DATE HIM!!!)

June 28, 2020 06:00 - 1 hour - 61.2 MB

God the writing is still bad and the language is just foul; like how can someone write this much trash??? Edward fuels the belief of the friend zone and Harry is into some heavy drugs apparently.

FaCe ThE StRaNgE Part 2 (How many pregnancies have to happen in these fics?)

June 21, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 73 MB

So we're at part two and it is far more confusing than what the Readers thought it would have been. Yikes we've got more drama, baby daddy drama, fusion drama, death drama, and mama drama. That's not even all of it, my soul is dead inside. Just take me now Satan! Also more of our auditions to be in a death metal band!

FaCe ThE StRaNgE Part 1 (Ma’m there’s too many edgelords in my tea)

June 14, 2020 06:27 - 56 minutes - 52.2 MB

A Harry Potter based Fan-Fiction which is someone’s deluded equivalent of Blood Raining Night. Dally (Delly, Delhi, Della, Bella) just found out she’s a witch on top of being a vampire! Thus she goes to Hogwarts and begins an adventure with a useless Edward Cullen, an anthropomorphic hedgehog, and far too many anime husbandos.

I Will Be Beautiful (The one where we're kind of serious)

June 07, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 61.7 MB

Oh boy, how to even explain this one? Only a few chapters in and we're banging our heads against the wall. Meet Jackie, a Freshman in High School who has no other character trait than being overweight and having the world against her because of that. On top of that she's a werewolf with a mate who looks and sounds like every white boy ever, who just happens to be an Alpha...not a lot of the system of this is explained or shown. Apparently the story got moved from Wattpad to a site where you h...

I Will Be Beautiful (The one where we're kind off serious)

June 07, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 62.4 MB

Oh boy, how to even explain this one? Only a few chapters in and we're banging our heads against the wall. Meet Jackie, a Freshman in High School who has no other character trait than being overweight and having the world against her because of that. On top of that she's a werewolf with a mate who looks and sounds like every white boy ever, who just happens to be an Alpha...not a lot of the system of this is explained or shown. Apparently the story got moved from Wattpad to a site where you h...

My Inner Life Part 10 (The End?)

May 31, 2020 05:00 - 2 hours - 116 MB

In this two hour long finale, we bring you the end of this epic disaster that is known as My Inner Life, and nothing happens. I mean something happens, but really nothing happens and it just...ends. Like some many of these bad tics, there is no real conclusion. But really, it was the friends we made along the way that really count...and the shared trauma.

My Inner Life Episode 9 (Barren Seas and D*cks instead of Spears)

May 24, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 71.8 MB

We continue with Chapter 20, it was Chapter 20 right? Our brains have been turned to mush at this point with how long this chapter had been at the end of it. We see more of the gaudy Griffin city, which is in the North, and the Griffin High Council. We improvise a lot on this one, so bear with the giggling and the night direct story-telling we present; trust me our version is slightly more entertaining.

My Inner Life Part 8 (The Black Mountains, in the North, where the Griffons live)

May 17, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 103 MB

Suddenly this becomes more of a Gothic novel as we take you into a completely made up place that's probably ripped from a better piece of literature than this. We spare ya'll from more of the cringe-worthy dialogue and tiger sex, trust me- it's nothing new >.> we're almost to the end of this guys!

My Inner Life Part 7 (Down once more)

May 10, 2020 05:26 - 1 hour - 76.6 MB

We enter the water temple ‘cause apparently Dark Link is evil and Jenna can’t have him running around and boinking any hole in existence, she’s the only one that can have Link Jr I guess?

My Inner Life Part 6 (The one where if you play the drinking game, you die)

May 06, 2020 22:00 - 1 hour - 93.7 MB

After Sunday's fiasco, we bring you the fixed and extended version! Hopefully this lives up to expectations. We experience the shortest war in fantasy history, the most annoying ceremonies (not as graphic as the bonding one thought *shiver*) and the most questionable childbirth scenario, this one makes Reicheru's pregnancy seem more logical!

Barbie Q. The Grill that fell in love with Christian Grey

May 05, 2020 18:01 - 29 minutes - 27.1 MB

Due to the disaster of our Sunday episode, we present you with this short reading of a small yet hilarious fic. The previous My Inner Life episode will be taken down and re-recorded, again sorry for the inconvenience but without further ado: Meet Barbie Q, a grill all the way from Vietnam that only wants to be taken home and enjoy her life as a grill, yet everything changes when a certain Mr Grey picks her up.

My Inner Life Part 6 (I'm pretty sure this story is cursed)

May 03, 2020 05:56 - 38 minutes - 36.1 MB

Due to some technical difficulties and issues with audio loss, today's episode will be shorter (like it had been before) with the best quality of audio that could be conjured from the wreckage. We're sorry for this listening inconvenience and next week's shall be better. Take care and stay safe out there guys. But here we have the shortest war and the most jackassery to ever stand on the stage. WAR NEVER CHANGES JENNA, HOW CAN ONE ONLY LAST A FEW MONTHS!? --- This episode is sponsored by ...

My Inner Life Part 5 (You might wanna get your vomit buckets ready)

April 26, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 69.2 MB

Join tipsy Maya, confused Siah, and swol Ryan in the notorious Chapter 9 of My Inner Life, one at which has been hinted at since the very start of the Podcast. Finally it's here, be prepared. Trigger warning for bodily harm, drinking of bodily fluids, near deadly sex, and just a whole bunch of other shit to avoid if you consider yourself easily squeamish.

My Inner Life Episode 4 (Take a shot whenever the word miracle or baby is said)

April 19, 2020 06:44 - 58 minutes - 54.2 MB

Here we go again We continue with another poorly written sex scene, a case of arson, and a bloody miracle that the highest of bullshit is called towards. Jenna is still awful, that one thing will never change.

Easter Special: Hogwarts School of Miracle and Prayers

April 12, 2020 06:53 - 1 hour - 80.8 MB

We bring you this short break from My Inner Life via this holiday special, whether you celebrate or not is just fine- we just wanna make you laugh and cringe at us as my childhood gets ruined right before my very ears! Character assassination and all around absurdities occur. Harry Potter and religion really shouldn't be mixed guys, write troll fics responsibly.

My Inner Life Episode 3 (more boinking more problems)

April 05, 2020 05:00 - 41 minutes - 38.5 MB

Episode 3 and by now we’ve had a sex scene that never ends, a terrible meet cute, and now a wedding that is so stereotypical it makes a drive-through church wedding look classy.

My Inner Life Episode 2 (There's already a damn wedding)

March 29, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 74 MB

Link and Jenna go off and boink for the first time for the both of them apparently, so much time skips around this that I have no idea how much time has actually passed, and Jenna's fashion sense is a Goddes-awful trainwreck...let the pain begin!

My Inner Life Episode One

March 22, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 59 MB

We're finally here, we've made it to the one that's' been more so hinted at and held in infamy, nerds hold onto your childhood 'cause this one is about to get blown to smithereens. More grammar horror, never ending loops of the same sentence- Welcoming to My Inner Hell (Life)!

My Inner Life (Author's Note)

March 22, 2020 05:00 - 54 minutes - 50.2 MB

This is one that you can skip or choose to listen to, we're leaving the option to you. This is just the total craze filled author's note that is left by our 'lovely author'. The author's notes alone can tell you what's wrong with the story, both grammatically and plot-wise. Even if Siah gets a joy out of reading this, so begins Maya's pain.

Blood Raining Night Part 10 (The End)

March 15, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 55.9 MB

We've finally reached it, the end. We will put the Story of Blood Raining Night to rest, though it's not as exciting as one may think. Surprise deaths, pregnancies, and new ships getting ready to set sail- please get your popcorn ready for this finale.

Blood Raining Night Part 9

March 08, 2020 06:00 - 1 hour - 66.3 MB

Finally we’ve made it passed Christmas, but do we know what’s going on? No. New characters, new situations, and apparently there was a point to the events that have happened previously...even if they don’t make sense. We’re almost to the end guys!

Blood Raining Night Part 8 (The one with the wedding)

March 01, 2020 05:58 - 51 minutes - 47.6 MB

Finally we arrive at the wedding of the century, this one totally tops anything from the royal family...or does it? Okay yeah, I'm just pulling your leg at this point. We get a wedding, Reicheru finally has to own up to her actions, and somehow it's already Christmas? I mean, it'd fit if you listen to it around Christmas time, but that is not now.

Blood Raining Night Part 7

February 23, 2020 06:00 - 36 minutes - 33.4 MB

Siah and Maya are still losing their sanity as they continue to read into this story. One loose thread gets tied (out of the many) and will a new relationship blossom? Why is Korra Hispanic and wearing a kimono at a Mexican restaurant!? Only one of these questions gets answered.

Blood Raining Night Part 6

February 16, 2020 06:00 - 58 minutes - 53.9 MB

It's the moment we've all been waiting for, the grand reveal to the question no one has asked: Who is Reicheru's father? Does it make sense? Does this mean anything to the story? No, no it does not. Also elevator-dicking finally occurs!

Valentine's Special: Fatal Attraction (Ted Bundy x Reader)

February 14, 2020 06:00 - 1 hour - 92.5 MB

Dear Lord, we are all going to hell for this one. I can't believe someone even wrote this about a serial killer? He literally diddled corpses, what on earth!? Happy Valentine's day everyone!

Blood Raining Night Part 5

February 09, 2020 06:00 - 50 minutes - 46.4 MB

Reicheru FINALLY has the goddamn baby even though Lucy did something to it previously, Korra is Mexican? Then Pokemon apparently causes memory loss...Sensei Hanaiubi is still the best teacher out there, even if he is a big creeper. Come listen to us mispronounce names and become super duper confused!

Blood Raining Night Part 4

February 02, 2020 06:00 - 41 minutes - 38.1 MB

TRIGGER WARNING! We open up with a horrid sex scene between the vampire Lord and his apparent accomplice. We later join Rei and company back at...High School? These guys are seriously in High School? It's like how the cast of Scream was made up of twenty-something year-olds portraying teenagers...but okay. Also more singing. There's always singing. Why can we never escape the singing!?

Blood Raining Night Part 3

January 26, 2020 06:00 - 47 minutes - 43.9 MB

Rei ends up in a chop-shop hospital, there's an unexpected arrival on the way, and we have a hard time guessing demon gestation periods...also more beloved characters get mangled!

Blood Raining Night Part 2

January 19, 2020 06:00 - 36 minutes - 34 MB

New tutors, excessive cheating, and surprises- oh my! With the second part of Blood Raining Night, we somehow keep whatever is left of our sanity and charge through this...predicament.

Blood Raining Night Part 1

January 12, 2020 06:00 - 38 minutes - 35.3 MB

Demons, Cats, and Mary-Sue's oh my! Join us in this cluster of a fan-fic that seems to never end, and really it doesn't have an end. It just stops. Character assassination and more awaits you if you decide to join us on this journey.

Forbiden Fruit: The Temptation of Ewdard Cullen Part 4 + My Skellington

January 05, 2020 06:00 - 55 minutes - 51.4 MB

Horrible, awful, no good, dirty Twilight Fan-Fiction that is unhinged. We're here for the laughs and the rants as we dive into the twisted world of Atlantiana Rebecca Lauren and her efforts to sex on Ewdard (Edward) Cullen. In our second story, join us as we take a journey to Halloween Town- whether My Skellington is a trick or a treat, that is for you to decide. Join Raven and her misadventure through teenage pregnancy, talent shows, and a sudden sexual awakening.

Episodes