Change For The Better Is Possible, Small Steps Add Up To Big Losses

Change For The Better Is Possible, Small Steps Add Up To Big Losses with The Fit Mess Guys

In this world of instant gratification, we want to take action today and see the results tomorrow. It usually takes us a while to get to the point we feel we need to make a change. We have to realize it takes time to see results. Change is possible, and taking small measured action is generally better for sustainable change. Get started today, it's never too late.

About Jeremy and Zach

Zach Tucker and Jeremy Grater are the founders and hosts of The Fit Mess. For nearly a decade, they have pushed themselves to learn more about their own physical, emotional, and mental health. This has created a passion for using their acquired knowledge to help others. As hosts of the show for over 2 years, they have had the opportunity to speak to a wide range of guests, including some of the biggest names in health and wellness.

Zach Tucker, along with his wife and young daughter resides in Albany, NY. Zach has a passion for helping people define and meet their wellness goals. He thinks that every person is different and there is no one size fits all solution for someone’s wellness. He is on a mission to share his story and some of the tools that helped him on his own wellness journey. Zach is certified to teach yoga and Insanity® Live.Jeremy Grater is a married father of two young girls and also lives in Seattle. He’s spent the majority of the last decade experimenting with a variety of wellness tools to improve his mental health, lose 70 pounds and share what’s helped along the way. He’s also been in the broadcasting and podcasting business for about two decades.

www.thefitmess.com

www.feedingfatty.com

Full Transcript Below

Change For The Better Is Possible, Small Steps Add Up To Big Losses with The Fit Mess Guys

00:00:15
Roy
Hello, and welcome to another episode of feeding fatty. I'm your host, Roy Terry. So we're the podcasts. That's chronicling my journey, Terry, my helper through this journey of wellness, losing some weight, getting in better shape. And, from time to time, we have, professionals in their field that come on and today is no different than Terry. I'll let you make our introduction of Jeremy and Zach. All right,

00:00:38
Terry
Zach Tucker and Jeremy Grater are the founders and host of The Fit Mess for nearly a decade. They've pushed themselves to learn more about their own physical and emotional and mental health. This has created a passion for using their acquired knowledge to help others as hosts of the show. For over two years, they've had the opportunity to speak to a wide range of guests, including some of the biggest names in health and wellness, Zach and Jeremy. Welcome to the show.

00:01:12
Roy
Yeah. Thanks guys. Thanks for taking time out of y'all's day to be with us. We just, I guess we'll throw it out there and see kind of what's new, as were talking in pre-show, some different new weight equipment and things out there, and Jeremy said he has started running, so we'll just kinda first off. It'd be nice just to find out, kind of how you guys found yourself here.

00:01:36
Zach
Yeah. I'll start off because I think, my story goes all the way back to being a baby, of just being set up on a, poor, starting line in life. I had some heart defects. I had an absent mother, just, lots of issues, lots of trauma as a child, which led tons and tons of overeating. And, at one point in my life, I was, close to 300 pounds and eating terrible, not exercising. I was, not in great shape. Over the last 20 years, I've made small little changes to turn the health around, to make myself look better, feel better. I had to focus on the mental health and it was a long journey. Jeremy was also following behind on that as well. At some point I was giving him some advice and, we sat down one day and we're like talking about being vulnerable about, the journey that we're on and talking about the struggle and how hard it is.

00:02:42
Zach
And, we came to the conclusion that, we need to get this out there and we need to share these conversations with other people, especially men who are sometimes afraid to share their feelings. Yeah.

00:02:56
Roy
Wow. That's yeah. That's a, basically a carbon copy of where were, I've struggled. I've had, I can definitely go back and see, I'm kind of the opposite as a kid, I was very skinny, like to the point, people were like, oh my gosh, you got to eat to live. As an adult, definitely four or five stages where, put on 20 pounds, 25 pounds at this stage for this life change. Then, now I find myself here and it's just, it's hard because, we do good sporadically. We can do good for a couple months. It's like, we have an event change and, then things change. I typically go back to my old ways. So, we talk a lot about that. Surgery may be an option for people, but for me, I always thought if I don't change the way I think then I'll never, I'll just go back to my old ways.

00:03:50
Roy
Anyway, but thanks for relating that story. I mean, it is, I think it is good to be vulnerable and that's why, Terry encouraged me. She's like, Hey, you need to get this out there because people are struggling. So anyway, Jeremy, what's your story?

00:04:05
Jeremy
Similar, not quite the same trauma as a child, mind was much more garden variety, alcohol in the family and kind of absent father stuff. Yeah. Both parents working. A lot of, latchkey kid or the eighties thing. And it is funny. I remember I was around third grade when I really developed some really bad eating habits and it was like, my best friend would come over and we would just hang out and watch TV and raid the pantry during every commercial break. Right. That set me on a course of doing that for far too long. Yo-yo dieted most of my life and, got into, my career and about midway through my career. I really started recognizing a lot of imposter syndrome and really feeling like man, one of these days, they're going to figure out they made a huge mistake hiring me, and they're gonna, they're going to show me the door, know, and that lasted for about 10 years.

00:04:53
Jeremy
I finally started getting into some therapy and that turned my life around. My therapist introduced me to meditation. That really helped, calm all of that noise and quiet. A lot of those voices that told me it wasn't good enough. I still don't get me wrong. I, I battle every single day I've fought depression my entire life. Meditation was the thing that set me on the course to doing other things. Along the way I had a bike crash got injured pretty badly. And, but I was finding that through biking. I was, I was also meditating. It was just this very in the moment experience where the whole point is to not die on the way to work. You have to be so in the moment and so focused on what's happening right now that I started trying to push that into other areas of my life.

00:05:41
Jeremy
Like Zach said, along the way he and I met through, just through parent groups, we are our friends, our kids are we're friends, and we started hanging out and were just having these really authentic conversations. That's something I've always looked for in a relationship with any of my is who can I have real conversations with and who am I talking about the Mariners with? Who do I want to spend my time with? Especially because the Mariners suck. So, but like Zach said, we, the more we have these conversations, just, camping and whatever, were just like, we don't hear enough guys talking like this. So, like I said, we just felt like this is a show that needs to exist.

00:06:19
Roy
Yeah. For the rest of the baseball world out there, you may want to tell them who the Mariners are.

00:06:31
Speaker 4
The Rangers, I mean, come on. Yeah. Right. Oh yeah.

00:06:37
Roy
Yeah. That's why we holler for the red Sox or the Yankees, for winter. So, let's talk about that because, your ride at, the good thing about me I'm to an age that it's like, I am who I am. I mean, just because I don't admit that I'm overweight to myself, it doesn't mean that other people that look at me can't I can't figure that out. So, I mean, at some point you just have to say, Hey, I got to own this, but it's the funny thing for me is I don't think about myself as being overweight or, I picture, and I don't picture myself as old either. I'm thinking like that 25 year old in better shape self that's, just who I am until, you walk by a mirror or try to put some clothes on after being in quarantine for a year. And it's like, oh my goodness.

00:07:28
Roy
Things are different, but so, let's talk about the difference in Mindshift body, habit shifts, things like that. Was there a point that for y'all either one that the, it was the, your mind engaged and then that's where your habits followed or did you kind of get on that path to habits and then the mind followed after that or some form of that?

00:07:56
Zach
My first, my first, real big change was, so I used to smoke cigarettes as well. Okay. And, ate a McDonald's every day. I mean, it was, there was some pretty bad habits there, and it was, my mind shifted because of a comment that my boss made. And, I interviewed for the job and I decided to wear a nicotine patch that day. So I didn't smell like cigarette smoke. I got the job and I got hired in my first day, my boss looked at me and said, oh, you smoke. If I had known that I would have never hired you. Oh, wow. Right. Like that hit me really hard. I was like, wow, this habit, this unhealthy thing is now going to be a, a detriment to my professional career. Yeah. That was the first step of like, well, these are gone and my mind started shifting of what else am I doing? That's bad for me that will, not look in my professional career and right.

00:08:57
Zach
That's when I started running and doing the little things, but that was the main shift for me, was this external judgment from somebody who said something like that. It just completely 180 degree my thought process of what I was doing to myself. Yeah.

00:09:14
Terry
Yeah. Somebody else may have, you want, you always want to be in control. You want to think like, you're, you feel like you're in control, but it's for you to be able to know, to recognize that and actually act on it. That's those are the keys right there, just going ahead and act in on something that was a judgment call to you. That's that's good.

00:09:40
Zach
Yeah. Acting on it was, I, I say, I quit smoking, right. That was probably one of the hardest things I ever did in my entire life. Like that is no joke, not easy. So, it's easy to say now. Right. But, at the time it was incredibly difficult, very painful and a big struggle, but it was worth it to make that change. That's awesome.

00:10:07
Jeremy
I think I've had probably three really significant, moments that really changed everything for me. And, one was when I, I had the dumbest knee injury you've ever heard of in your life. We, I don't know if you guys have this out there, but Amazon, they deliver groceries. Yeah. We are, our daughter was very young. She was like, still in the crib. One morning the Amazon guy shows up at like six in the morning and he's dropping the groceries off and the dog loses his mind, starts barking. If you've ever had kids, that anyone who wakes up your kid deserves to be.

00:10:41
Speaker 4
Punished. Yes. I just,

00:10:43
Jeremy
I rolled out of bed to like quickly try and quiet my dog. Somehow like rolled my knee and just collapsed on the ground. Couldn't couldn't walk, totally hurt my knee, literally getting out of bed. And it was the stupidest injury. And, so I started going to physical therapy for it. The physical therapist learned about my background and all that. She said, if you don't get on a bike, you're going to end up replacing both of your knees. Now. I was like, wow. Okay. I can do that. I bought a bike on Craigslist and started biking to work. And, and it was funny. I was having a conversation with my brother about it. I was like, yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to, it's a 10 mile ride. I don't know if we'll be able to do this every day. He's like, dude, you just need to decide.

00:11:20
Jeremy
You're that weird guy, that bikes to work every day, just make that mental shift and you'll do it. And he was absolutely right. Literally the next day I started biking to, and from work every day. So that was the first one. Another one was like I mentioned, yo-yo dieted my entire life. The conversations I was having with Zach, were camping one weekend sitting around the campfire and he was talking about how he had just lost, like, I don't know, 40 pounds or something in a few months doing the keto diet and like most conversations I often have with Zach, I started with, you're crazy. How do you do that? That's insane. Okay. I gotta try it. I tried it and I lost 70 pounds using the keto diet and just like some light exercise and of fasting and came off in a few months. So that was the other one.

00:12:07
Jeremy
The other was, I've battled depression, my entire life on and off of various meds, to just to try and curb it. None of them really worked for me. And, it was shortly after my bike crash. I was on some opioids for awhile. I was like, man, these are really good. I stopped them after like a week. Cause like, that's, this is a dangerous road to go down. Once I stopped taking those, I also stopped taking my antidepressants and then it was new years. I had just a few beers, like nothing crazy woke up the next day with a hangover and just was like, I am just done. Like, those few beers were not worth feeling like this. Yeah. Literally quit drinking. That was like three or four years ago now. Those three things have been it, there's just, this really locked in mental shift where I just went, I'm done living that way.

00:12:57
Jeremy
Yeah. I'm going to live this way now. Those three things I've never really looked back on it.

00:13:03
Roy
Yeah. I'll just go, I can relate to the Amazon incident because I had almost a similar one. Usually they come in the afternoon or whatever. We've got a little, we live out in kind of in the wilderness. So, the front camera went off and usually it's like a varmint Armadillo or raccoon or something walking across. I just rolled over, pulled up my phone and looked at it and there was this car sitting up on the road that just won't leave. So, I did the same thing. I catapulted out of bed over both dogs and, threw the shoes and, slipped on the floor and getting out there. And it's just the Amazon grocery. I'm like doodles. She was at cigar in our space. Yeah. He delivers groceries at six 15 in the morning. Good.

00:13:47
Speaker 4
Tell him, I forgot to tell him,

00:13:51
Roy
Talk about, Zach mentioned the opinions of others. It's funny because I being a heavy person, when I look at heavy people, I still have, negative thoughts. Let me just put it that way. I don't ever think about people thinking that of me. You really stop and think about, oh my gosh, all these, negative opinions that people form of me just because they see me without even meeting me or knowing anything. Now I try not to make the cover of the Walmart people page on Facebook with my pants riding down and my shirt riding up. I do try to stay, totally covered up, but still, I mean, it's just like people view you as inferior or damaged or something, but I don't know. I think about that, hasn't been enough to change me and it's like, I still continue on doing these things. So I don't know.

00:14:51
Roy
It's I gotta give you credit for being able to, make that change based on that, because I, I wished I could, it's just been a struggle, finding that thing that works, that continues. We talked a little pre-show about, I'm good for about two, three months of something. If we have a little change in the way life goes, that, were doing good back in the fall and then Terry was gone for about three weeks. And, yeah. I mean, then McDonald's and taco bell became my best friend again, driving up there to try to get something to eat. Instead of cooking in, anyway, that's just kind of my downfall. It just be nice to be able to string together six months or a year, and stay on that path. Any advice either, but any, either one of y'all want to throw out about that would be very helpful.

00:15:41
Zach
Yeah. A couple things. So, so the mindset of like what you look like. I do have like a quick, I I've, being 300 pounds, I have always felt as though I was a big guy. And internally it was never quite enough. Like I would push myself so hard to like work out, to eat, right. To the point where I made a comment to my wife one day that, man, I'm still, really fat. She was like, dude, you realize that I can see your abs. Right. She made me take a picture and like, they weren't showing much, but you could see a couple of ad muscles. That was a moment where like in our heads, we, for me anyway, even though I wasn't really that big anymore, I still felt really big. I was working really hard on it. Like that internal mindset of like what you think of yourself is really important to make sure that you're telling yourself the truth there.

00:16:43
Zach
Yeah. To the other question of like, how do you stick to it? You can't like, that's what I had to accept. I would go really hard for three months and then I would cave. Yeah. I would beat myself up because I caved and cave more because I beat myself up and it would be this never ending spiral. Yeah. Three months later, two months of those games were gone. I've really just come back to like the 80, 20 principle. Right. If you're doing the right thing, 80% of the time, it's okay to go wild 20% of the time. Yeah. Right. Be okay with that and be forgiving of yourself for it.

00:17:24
Roy
The thing is that forgiveness, because you're exactly right. When you fall off the, whatever you're doing, the Eaton exercise. I, I realized to lose weight exercise, doesn't need to be, we can lose weight with our diets 70, 80% or whatever, but I just feel like I've got to have that exercise. It makes me feel so much better. Anyway, it doesn't matter if we're talking about diet exercise or whatever. It's like, once you fall off, then it's like, so hard on ourself and then the non forgiveness. It's like, well, I've already, had three tacos that, what's it going to hurt? I'll have another, I'm going to go ahead and eat bad today. And then tomorrow I'm going to change. Tomorrow goodness knows something else pops up to where, it just, you just kicked that can down the road further and further.

00:18:12
Zach
Yeah. I also try and schedule things too. So, ing that I'm going to be 80, 20. Saturday is kind of my, and I know some people don't like cheat days, but this is for me works well. Yeah. On Saturdays. I do whatever I want. If I don't want to work out, I don't work out if I want to eat pizza and ice cream, I do that. Having that schedule for me is actually really helpful knowing that I'm going to have a 20% of going crazy. Yeah. On Wednesday when I have that craving, I, I just go, okay, let's write that down. You're going to have that on Saturday.

00:18:44
Roy
That's a, that's a good tip. I like that.

00:18:48
Terry
Yeah. Just having something to look forward to that helps.

00:18:52
Zach
The, the problem with that is once you do have the cheat day though. For me on Saturday, I eat all, I have sugar and junk food in your body. On Sunday you have that craving and it's really hard to go back into it. It doesn't work for everyone, but it definitely works for me. I wouldn't w it's something you can try.

00:19:13
Roy
Yeah. Yeah. I've, I'm that way about, I guess I feel sometimes like I have to be totally strict and can't let anything creep back in because just that one, that little door opening for me, it's like back in the day when they came out with the little skinny blue, the skinny bell ice cream sandwiches, I mean, those are great. They're probably work well if you eat one, but if you eat a whole box of was like, well, that was so good. Let me just have six of them, and I, I'm an ice cream fanatic too. That's, that's even harder to give up something that is, and we talked about this with the, more of a psychologist type person the other day that, I, I grew up with ice cream, it was a reward. Now I'm thinking about that instead of thinking about, Hey, let's go celebrate and have some ice cream.

00:20:07
Roy
It's like, what I get on my, TX band and do, 25 pull-ups or something, trying to shift that mindset from it's a reward because I think it goes back to the validation of us is that's what growing up, that was always the reward or the treat is, Hey, let's stop by dairy queen and let's go up to the soda fountain and, get a banana split. Trying to change that from, we can still celebrate, but now, it needs to be a physical activity, either walking or pulling up doing something to better ourselves, better myself.

00:20:43
Terry
Jeremy, you were talking about, I think it was you, did you say something about meditating?

00:20:48
Jeremy
Yeah. I was just going to say kind of two things on what you're talking about there. One I know for me, I look at my weight issues as being a symptom of my emotional and mental health issues. I can tell by looking in the mirror, how much I still have to do inside. That's where for me, the more I meditate, the more that I do that inner work, the more strength I find to do the outer work, to do the running and the other things. That's something to consider, but also, I just want to commend you on the fact that you're on this journey. This is an incredibly difficult journey at any stage of your life. Well, thanks. But, but especially in a system where the food that is affordable and accessible is garbage, right. Much of what you have available to eat goes against your body's biology and the way that it wants to live.

00:21:44
Jeremy
You're fighting a losing game almost every bite fall. Yeah. To the amount of knowledge I think you need from a nutrition standpoint is almost impossible. I think for most people who have busy lives and things to do, because it's just not something that we're taught in a way that makes sense as we're growing up. Yeah. Every ad is, oh, you deserve a treat today. Well, yeah, maybe, but maybe I don't, maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe I just want to eat garbage because it tastes good. That makes me want to eat more garbage. So, so that, so two things there, but one, I think that is really important. I do think that for a lot of people, food is an escape from whatever the issue is that we're struggling with whatever trauma we haven't dealt with from our childhood, whatever. I do think that the, at least in my experience, and I'm no doctor here.

00:22:38
Jeremy
The more work you can do, dealing with what's going on inside will allow you the freedom and the desire to do the work on the outside. And, and for me, exercise is almost never about building muscle or getting stronger, or it's all in my head. The more I run, the more I bike, the harder, the yoga, whatever I'm doing to push my body is all about releasing those demons. I like the phrase I like to say is a tired muscles, quiet, dark voices, because the more you quiet those dark voices, the more you're going to be able to live a healthier life and make better choices.

00:23:13
Roy
Yeah. No, and I think you're right. And that's something, yeah. I don't think I've told, we haven't really put this out there, but what, cause I think back about that, what am I not dealing with because it's just been so difficult. I just I've become to feel that if I wasn't dealing with some, or wasn't not dealing with something, if there was an unresolved issue, it would be a lot easier. I'm actually going to do, I'll let Terry say the name of it. Reiki, Reiki.

00:23:41
Terry
I did my first Reiki session yesterday.

00:23:43
Roy
I'm actually going to go try that. And, supposedly it can, it's supposed to be a big release with some things like that. So, I'm open to try and I just I'm to the point in life that I want to make changes and it's, things that I've done in the past just haven't really worked or they've worked. Then, like Zach said, you put it all back on eventually. And, I'm just ready to make a change, for a lot of reasons, but just to get all this behind me. So.

00:24:13
Jeremy
Something, something to consider too, like you seem to be aware of the pattern, right? Like it two or three months of this is going to fail me. Yeah. Just when you go with, go into whatever you're going into go, I'm going to do this for 30. I'm going to do this for a week next week. I'm going to do that. Like, just give yourself smaller goals because none of us is going to stick to anything for a year, for 10 years for it's never going to happen too much is going to get in the way. Right. Today I'm going to decide every day, this week I'm going to go walk for 20 minutes next week, it'll be 30 minutes, whatever it is, but just give yourself those smaller goals. And, and the more you pick up those little wins, the confidence grows and you'll be able to score those bigger wins.

00:24:53
Jeremy
That's.

00:24:53
Roy
Great. Yeah, that's a good point. Cause I, I am too much in that, looking at a year lifetime or whatever it is instead of just, and I guess this gets back to the meditation and being in the moment is just take it one meal at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time. It's, I guess it's the other part I, I have to say is it's daunting because it's like, the impatience is all I can say is like, it, and I think why haven't I been impatient, putting on all this weight now, all of a sudden I'm here now, all of a sudden I'm impatient. I want it all gone. It took years to get here. It may take years to get away from here, but it's like, nah, if I do something, if I go out and walk around the block, I expect to come home and I've lost 15 pounds or something ridiculous like that.

00:25:46
Roy
It's like, it's just take it that whatever I did today, exercise wise and eating wise, that's better than what I was yesterday. I, trying to break it down into those smaller wins is definitely something I can work on for sure. Sure.

00:26:00
Terry
Yep. Have you guys done a plant-based diet where we're delving into that now? Do much about the plant-based?

00:26:12
Zach
I can I'll let Jeremy talk about that because I am a carnivore and I love hamburgers and steaks and chicken. Yeah. I've, I think I've tried it once or twice for maybe a couple of days. And, while I'm sure there are some health benefits and I'm sure there's some good stuff about it. I just really enjoy hamburgers. Jeremy's the vegetarian though, so we can talk. Okay.

00:26:39
Jeremy
Yeah. I've been a vegetarian for probably 25. Oh, w w with occasional cheats here and there. Yeah. Any diet, if you don't do it right. You're, it's just a mess. When I talked to him nutrition at one point and a nutritionist at one point, and they said, I kind of told them what I, and oh, you're not a vegetarian, you're a cheese and bread. Attarian, you know, that's not good. You don't want to combine your fats and your carbs at every meal because that's how you put on a bunch of weight. So, definitely I think any diet, if you do it well, is going to beneficial. There are loads and loads of studies that will tell you a plant-based diet is ideal, is what you should be doing. I, I read a book, man, I'm forgetting the author's name now, but he broke down diet in a really simple way.

00:27:29
Jeremy
It was just like, eat food, not too much. Oh, what's the third thing, eat food, not too much. Mostly plants. Yeah. His whole point was like, so much of what we eat is not food. Much of what is in the store is not food. If it didn't grow out of ground or it doesn't walk on the ground, it's not food. Right. You know, I, I eat impossible burgers. I eat, I eat tons of like processed fake meats to get my protein because I'm lazy. Because I have childhood associations with, a meat and potatoes diet. It's a lot of just a conditioning that I need to break. Yeah. But if you can eat, yeah. I mean the more locally sourced and plant-based, and not too much is a pretty simple rule to live by. And, and, I definitely think it's worth experimenting with, if you haven't before.

00:28:17
Jeremy
Yeah. Why not?

00:28:18
Roy
I haven't in a, we're in a touch second week and I feel like we're doing good and we're not the we'll never eat meat again. Were talking the other day that, if we get hungry for Terry was craving a hamburger yesterday and out so bad and she had to go somewhere and I'll say, well, just get it on, stop by and get one on your way. It's not a big deal. We, I think because the other part of this is, I think the more you tell yourself, oh, you can't have that. The more, psychologically, we want that. It's like, if we want to eat a piece of meat or a piece of fish, just we can do it, but I just, we're trying, I want to eliminate that because I've gotten to feel how, when I eat beef, especially it just, it seems to weigh me down and bother me the next day.

00:29:01
Roy
Like being, not being able to get up. I'm telling you that, I felt my inflammation go down the last couple of weeks. Also just being, much, easier flinging up out of bed with a lot of energy and feeling good, but that's, and it's have to be fair to say, that's not meat or beef or proteins fault. That was, that was my fault for eating at the wrong time of day. That's another thing that we kind of have to talk about that goes with this. We, we're doing the intermittent fasting, so we try to eat our last meal by seven and then we're not eating again until lunch. So, I feel like that has been the most beneficial for me because I'm a late night eater. I mean, at nine, 10 o'clock at night, man, I am ready. Before, before Terri, man, I would physically get in the car at nine o'clock at night and go up to the convenience store and raid the shell, and get the little nacho bowl and a candy bar and come home and eat it.

00:30:03
Roy
It's something about going to bed, feeling that full, satisfied feeling. Trying to get rid of that as well as the other thing, I kind of laugh about is that if I get just a little twinge of hunger and empty stomach, I'm like, oh my God, that must be death knocking at my door. It's like trying to realize that feeling can be there for a couple of hours and I'm probably not going to pass out or have any negative reactions. So, that's something that's like, oh my God, I felt my stomach. I need to run to the cabinet and load up on something, ?

00:30:36
Zach
Yeah. I I've so I intermittent fast most days. It's actually 1:30 PM here right now and I still haven't eaten anything. I probably won't until dinner at this point, just because, if I eat now, my dinner will be ruined. Like my dad would always tell me. But interim and fasting is great. It really teaches you the difference between I am actually hungry for food and my body is craving food and I need the energy from food and the, I have something emotional or mental going on that I want to go crack the cupboard open for it. I did a three-day fast one day, or over three days, I did three days. That was such an eyeopening moment because you go three days without actually eating anything. All of these little, I had all these moments of like, I need to go eat Y oh, you're about to do a task that is hard or something that you want to avoid or remind you of something.

00:31:44
Zach
I had all these connections in those three days of why I wanted to go eat. None of it had anything to do with being hungry. Yeah. It was, it was a really great realization.

00:31:54
Roy
That's awesome. I had, I I'm going to brag. I don't usually do that. I want to brag about last night. I was sitting here putting together one of our episodes and, I don't even know why I just got up, went to the cabinet, opened it. This is like, what? Nine 30 got up, went to cabinet, opened it up and it was chickpeas. So, I mean, I have to say it wasn't like Doritos, but, and I had the chickpeas out. I had them open. I had my hand in it and I thought, why am I eating these it's nine o'clock I'm not supposed to be, I don't want to be doing this because it'll make me and I actually put them up without eating them. For me, that's a huge victory because what I have found too, is that it's that mindless eating, like in the past, I would have gone over there, ate a handful of, and then, 10 minutes, 15 minutes later realized, wow, I wish I hadn't had done that.

00:32:43
Roy
Or, you know why I wasn't hungry. It was just a habit. So, yeah, I'm kind of fighting that too is just breaking these mindless habits of always feeling like you have to have something in your hand, eating.

00:32:56
Zach
Good for you though. You were at the point of no return. That's, that's hard to turn back from that point.

00:33:01
Roy
I, it was so bad. I actually had to wash my hands to get all the salt off of my hands. I have my eye on that board.

00:33:11
Jeremy
We had a really interesting conversation. A few episodes ago. We had a guest, Dr. Judson brewer, and he's really big on curiosity when it comes to breaking habits and whether it's addiction, food, whatever. And we talked about that specific thing. Because I'm the same way I have to fast, otherwise I will nine, 10 o'clock whereas the popcorn where something quick that I can just emotionally escape into. Yep. And he raised the point. He's like, just get really curious every time that those urges come up, rather than giving into them, rather than fighting them, rather than like having this volatile relationship with that experience. Just get really curious with why do I need eat right now? What does is my body sending me a signal that says, Hey, you're really hungry. You're about to snap somebodies head off, or are you bored? Are you sad? Are you lonely? What's driving this? And it is amazing how just asking yourself, why am I doing this? Yeah.

00:34:05
Jeremy
Will completely shift your relationship with that moment. To put you on a course, to your bigger, better offer, right? Your bigger, better goal. If I want to feel better, I don't want to wake up with this Dorito hangover. I want to wake up clear of brain fog and I'm ready to take on the day and know that I don't need to eat until lunch because I'm not going to starve. I'm in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, I'll find foods.

00:34:28
Roy
And the paramedics are at nine one. They're just a moment. Give me an Abbey and get me back up on the ground.

00:34:34
Jeremy
I don't think they delivered Doritos. I mean,

00:34:38
Speaker 4
By the way, I go by QT and grab us some bags and stuff.

00:34:43
Roy
Yeah. That's a, I guess a good question for you guys since y'all have y'all are pretty far down the journey, but one of the, I was just thinking about the name of our podcast is feeding fatty. It was kind of a irreverent comment when were kicking it around, cause I just said, we're trying to find a name and all the healthy ones are taken or sound too corny. Were like, eh, and I just said, yeah, we could just say something like, feed no fatty. And Terry said, yeah, that's it. The other thing I think about is that, I think I will always be, even if I lost weight and got to where I want to be, I feel like I will always be that heavy person inside that I always have to be on guard. It's like, and I'm going to ask, I asked this question of both of y'all, but it's like being a reformed smoker, being a reformed drinker, because I, I'm not, I never smoked like packs and packs a day, but on the may have one and there are times that cigarettes, you smell very good.

00:35:41
Roy
I mean, they smell good enough. You could eat one. It's like, I'm not even a, really a smoker, but that temptation is always there. I assume that temptation is always going to be here with food. That it's something you got to fight forever or not fight, but deal with put it that way.

00:35:57
Zach
Yeah, it is. I mean, it's always there's a lake Jeremy side, right? There's a whole industry on making sure that, this kind of food is there and there's marketing and it's made to make you want more. The way I've tried to live is, for every, all of every single attempt that I've made at eating healthier, of it has stuck. The next time, a little more stuck and the next time, a little more stuck. Now if I look back like, I had to take my mom somewhere one day and she wanted to go to McDonald's and I had been eating healthy for three months and I ate McDonald's and I felt so bad after eating. McDonald's like brain fog. My body hurt my stomach was in doing somersaults. Even the next day for a couple of days, I didn't feel good. I thought about it and I was like, okay, I have now conditioned myself to feel good when I eat good food, because 20 years ago I would eat McDonald's for lunch and dinner and then I'd go back for a snack.

00:37:09
Zach
And that was just normal for me. Every time I've tried to eat healthy, right. You're just going to reinforce it more and you're gonna fail and you're always going to go backwards. For me, that's always been the case like now where I'm at now, while I still don't feel like I eat as well as I want to eat, I look back at the journey and how much it's different. Yeah. How much change there is, how much the, those little steps have now added up to this one big thing where I'm doing pretty well. I could still grow, but I'm doing pretty well. Yeah.

00:37:46
Terry
It's good that you realize that now because you guys, I mean, you guys have young kids too, right? I mean that you have to factor all a nine-year-old, you have to factor all of that in and what your world can handle and, how much time you have and trying to do, that's what we just get caught up in the rat race, going through the drive-through having everything right there at our Beck and call. That's gotta be an issue too. I mean, that part of it.

00:38:19
Zach
Yeah. Well, and also, I mean, having my daughter watch what I'm doing, right. It's for me, it's, I watched my dad, I watched my mom and it was poor choices. Those poor choices lived on in me. It's my responsibility kind of break that chain and have my daughter watch me make good choices most of the time yeah. With the occasional reward. Right. And, and break that chain. She doesn't grow up in the same way, having those, poor relationship with food that I always have. Yeah.

00:38:51
Terry
Right. Yeah. I always, I have, my daughters are almost 23 and 29 now. I used to tell them all the time, I thought you were only three. I'm sorry, did I say 29? And.

00:39:07
Speaker 4
Let the cat out of the bag there. But.

00:39:11
Terry
I used to tell him all the time and I still do just joking with him, add that to your list for therapy, for your future therapist. That's just something that you're going to have to, but the more that you, like you were saying, your daughter's nine and she needs to emulate you and your decision, your choices. She doesn't have to deal with this later on in life. Yeah.

00:39:35
Zach
Trust me that there's plenty of other things that I'm doing that is going to need therapy later. She has, she'll.

00:39:41
Terry
Have a running list. It'll go forever.

00:39:44
Zach
She has a little notebook that says notes to my future therapist.

00:39:48
Terry
Get rid of that. I mean, gold frame it,

00:39:51
Roy
Well, the other thing is that we're, I'm getting to a point of, we start thinking about outliving our wellness and that's a new little catch phrase that we like to use is because, you see so many people that they age and, either they're, they've got a good mind and their body's broken down or their body's broken down and they still have a good mind. A lot of times they have to have intensive care from somebody else, a family member typically. So, at some point I've started really thinking that one through that, I wish I'd have started earlier, but it's never too late to start, but the sooner we can think about what are we going to look like when we're 80, because, nowadays they talk about, diabetes or they talk about dementia being the, type three diabetes. And, just some of the things that we've done with the quality of food that we've eaten and, it really can lead to our detriment.

00:40:51
Roy
Sometimes that doesn't manifest it until later in life.

00:40:56
Terry
Yeah. The closer we get to that's something I,

00:40:59
Speaker 5
Go ahead. Sorry.

00:41:01
Jeremy
Yeah. I was just gonna say that's something that I think about a lot too. I've had a number of friends and family members that have had cancer. I always think it's so interesting how we need that. You're going to die really soon unless you start eating this way. I, I constantly say to myself, get online and Google what your doctor would prescribe. If you were diagnosed with cancer and start eating that right now, it seems really simple. There there's an outline, there's a nutrition plan to fight off cancer, but we don't start eating it until we have it. Exactly. Yeah, I think about that a lot. I also think that is one of those things similar to, I'm going to do this for a year. I'm going to do this for five years. Yeah. If I worry about how I'm going to feel in 30 years, I'm going to lose sight of what do I need to do today.

00:41:48
Jeremy
Right. To me, it's just, it's those baby steps. It's whatever I can do today to better than I was yesterday is ultimately what's going to happen when I'm 65, 70, whatever I look back and go, oh, those are the, I made good choices. I did the best I could with.

00:42:02
Terry
I know. That's what we just got a, book is called how not to die. It's, it's amazing, but it talks about all those different diseases, the type two diabetes cancers, I just, all of that and inflammation. That's why we decided to kind of go with the plant-based diet because, we have different medications that we're on, for different things. And, just trying to get off of those, you can get off of those medications through eating properly, what you eat. Yeah. It's, that's what kinda turned us in toward that direction. Not only that, but, because it's better for us, not to pack on the pounds and all of that. I know we're.

00:42:49
Roy
Way long on time guys, but just one more topic I want to bring up is the emotional, cause we're talking about this and, one, another big thing I'm struggling with and trying to break is that, not necessarily like the bad stuff, but more the good stuff, the celebrations, everything is emotional. Like let's go eat or get the ice cream for this to celebrate, but also, factoring in or thinking about it as fun because going out with friends and family and you go somewhere and you eat and chat and the reality is we can go eat healthy, but we can go chat with people and not have to eat bad or eat food that is not as good for us as we would like. So, not tell the story that it's very fresh in my mind that Terry was out running around one day and she called and said, I'm on my way home.

00:43:46
Roy
Have you eaten yet? And I said, no. I started welling up inside, like, she's going to say, great. I am going by Chick-fil-A to pick up some stuff. She's like, okay, well there's some salmon and some asparagus in their fridge. I just felt like I just was deflated. It was like, all the air just blew out of me. That again, it's a realization that, oh my gosh, you have this, such an attachment to food that it, what does it matter? Does it really matter if I ate the chick? whatever I eat it's as long as it's healthy and it gives me fuel to live for another day. That's really all this is about, but these, all these attachments that we have, it's just crazy.

00:44:31
Jeremy
I know in my case, all of that links back to sugar, the more processed and sugary foods I have, the way easier it is to cave into those cravings, to cave, to those emotions and eat that way. I, I mentioned that I, I started doing the keto diet after a conversation with Zach, and it wasn't even that strict about it. I just went, what, I'm just a hundred carbs a day. That's it, that's my limit. I'm going to experiment with that. And we'll play with that. See where that leads me. I got more and more strict about it. I started working out every day and doing these things. It was so funny because I distinctly remember this day at work when, one of my colleagues was eating wheat thins. She's just sitting at her desk snacking. I mean, she was like a cheerleader for the Houston rockets.

00:45:13
Jeremy
I mean, she's in fantastic shape and she's, she can eat whatever she wants. She offered me some and I looked at it and it was as though she was offering me a hockey puck was just like, I was like, that's not even food. Like how, what you're asking by offering me this. I can't even process that as a question because you're not offering me food. My relationship just completely changed with those kinds of foods because I had just so completely cut them out of my diet and was feeling so good. They're just like, it just doesn't I two and three makes 47. That does not compute. I can't do that. Yeah. Just changing that relationship was huge for me. Again, not to be repetitive, but I just think that why question is going to be the thing that is a game changer for so many people.

00:45:58
Jeremy
When I, when I still get an occasional, craving to drink a beer, I love beer. Love it, delicious, amazing. It just, it's, it causes more problems for me than solves them, although it does solve some problems, but by shifting to non-alcoholic beers, I've found some really high end ones that are really good, that tastes like real beer. You mentioned those reward systems and like the hanging out with friends, I can drink those and have that in my hand. It feels exactly the same as it used to only I don't wake up feeling horrible the next day.

00:46:36
Zach
Yeah. Yeah. I quit drinking probably five years ago now, too. I was gonna use that as an example, the, it was a very hard thing to do because so of all of my friend group, I was the first one to do it. We would, but one of the things we would do is we would meet at a pub to socialize and everyone would drink beer. I was showing up and not drinking beer and I was drinking water. It was really hard to do, mentally, right. Because you go, you're going to drink beer. From the food perspective, I will say, I started earlier, like I did a three-day fast and having, that data of really reflective moments of why am I hungry? Yeah. Like what is the real here? I know I'm not going to die. What's the real reason. And, and just exploring that and being curious about it.

00:47:37
Zach
I think that's one of the things that's really helped me is the curiosity, the, having the courage and to be brave enough to explore that stuff. Because if we're all being honest, right, you open some of those doors, you don't want to look inside. Right. Right. You want to keep them closed. If you can get to the underlying problem as to what's going on, right. It, it really does change your relationship now. Now my reward for, Hey, I want to go eat something. My reward is I go do 10 pushups. Yeah. I switched it. If I can.

00:48:14
Jeremy
Jump on something that you said there too, even it doesn't always have to be the dark demon in the closet. I know for me, I have a habit of, during my Workday, I just, I need a reason to get up and walk away from the desk. Right. Way too often, it's go grab a snack from the kitchen. It used to be, go across and get another cup of coffee and a snack from the kitchen or whatever. When I get real honest with myself, the reason I'm doing it is I don't like my job. I don't want to be doing it. I won't come up with any distraction to go do something else, even if it's for two minutes. And even if it poisons my body. That's not like, dad beat me up when I was three. That's just, Hey, I got to find another job.

00:48:53
Jeremy
This isn't working out for me. It doesn't always have to be basing your deepest, darkest fear. Sometimes it's just overcoming whatever the small hurdle is. That's right in front of your face. Yep.

00:49:02
Roy
Yeah. Are feeling like we need that reason. Cause I'm the same way of being like, I love my job. Thank goodness. It's like, task within that, you bump up against something that's kind of hard. It makes you have to sit and think, and it, and I'm the same. It's like, well, let me just get up and get something to eat while I think about this. The other thing too is I, I feel so much better if I just go for a walk. If I take the same five minutes and go outside fresh air and clear my head, I would come back and even perform better, but not eating and then feeling bad. And, talking about the beer and stuff, around here going and having some, Mexican food with margarita and some chips, but I'm telling you, I could, and it's it, wasn't a hangover, but I could drink one margarita and the chips and I could feel so bad the next morning, till 10 or 11, o'clock it just a cloud and feel like, for my eyes and above was just full of congestion.

00:50:00
Roy
So, that's been a big reason too, for me to switch some things and not to go do that it's because I just got where it makes me so feel so bad the next day, I'm trying to get out from under it got worse and worse. So.

00:50:14
Jeremy
Yeah, your body's going to be the best teacher in all of this. It's just pay attention to attention or do whatever it is you're going to do and you'll make them, you'll make the right.

00:50:21
Roy
Choices, guys. I know we're way late, for, we go couple things. What is a tool, a habit? What is something that each of y'all do in your daily life that adds a lot of value, professional, personal whichever.

00:50:34
Zach
Yeah. I'll I want to make sure I mentioned something that I haven't mentioned already. So, as weird as this sounds journaling for me is a huge one. I, I currently use a, a product called the full focus planner and it's just a kind of a methodology and this planner that you get, your three biggest things done and you schedule everything. Within that, it's professionally personally, right? I schedule my healing time. I schedule my work time. I schedule my, family time and it allows me to be productive and not put things off, but it also gives me a place to get my thoughts out on a piece of paper, because once they're out of my head, they're not circling around and causing trouble anymore. So, and that's my own preference for journal. If you can just spend a couple of minutes with yourself, getting the thoughts out of your head onto a piece of paper and being grateful about it can make a huge difference in your day.

00:51:38
Zach
Yeah. Way to steal my thunder. And you.

00:51:43
Jeremy
Say the exact same thing. It is, it is so important to me every day to envision the day, the way I want it to go so that when I do run up against those roadblocks and I feel like, oh, I need to, I want to eat something I want to not work out. I can look back and go, well, what did I tell myself this morning when I was alert and on it and focused and knew what I wanted out of life. Yeah. And I can refer to that. It just, it really keeps me accountable. Most days what I wrote down doesn't happen. A lot of it does some of it doesn't and that's again, getting comfortable with forgiving yourself and forgiving that you cannot create the exact life you want, but you can work toward goals. Yeah. The closer you get, the better you'll feel along the way.

00:52:22
Jeremy
Then, just in terms of something practical or something more tangible that I have been experimenting with, and it might sound weird, and this is probably a whole other show, but I've been experimenting with using CBD as a supplement. Because I've found that it really regulates my anxiety and my depression and it helps keep me focused. It's not, there's no high, there's no psychotropic effect. It's just, it's about balancing your body's natural cannabinoids to a level that is the way they should be functioning. That so many things like diet and busy lifestyle center.

00:52:56
Roy
Okay. Interesting. Yeah. The journaling, it's funny, you mentioned it cause I've been trying to do better about that. And, not just, and I think like Zach said, it seemed like just getting things. It doesn't have to be stressed, but just getting the thought, whatever it is out of my head and on paper, it just seems to be so much more clearing. I feel like I've had a clear head, doing it too. So,

00:53:21
Terry
Yeah. Zach, you mentioned it's so important to be grateful. I mean, just think about being grateful at least a few times a day, that has a lot to do with it. Just keeping that positivity go. And.

00:53:37
Roy
Most of us have a lot to be thinking, yes, we do. You get it instead of getting focused on that negative and why we want to go eat, because let's focus on the, all the great things. We talk a lot about that too. If you've got 10 things on your to-do list today, and you get seven done, we beat herself up over these other three, but let's celebrate the seven. Let's take away some gratitude. Anyway, I'm going to wrap it up. You guys, we could talk for a lot longer, so thank y'all tell everybody course, how can they reach out and get a hold of, y'all talk about your, podcast.

00:54:10
Jeremy
Yeah, the website is, thefitmess.com and we're fitness guys on pretty much every social platform that's out.

00:54:17
Roy
There. Okay. All right. Well, great. Well, thanks so much. I can find us, of course, at www.feedingfatty.com. We're on all the major social media platforms, as well as the major podcast platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google, Spotify. If we're not one that you listened to, please reach out, be glad to get it added. So till next time I'm rolling. I'm Terry take care of yourself and take care of your family. Thanks guys. Thank you. Thank you.

www.thefitmess.com

www.feedingfatty.com