F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

26. First Chair Clarinet - Marshall Wootton

April 13, 2020 07:36 - 1 hour - 99.1 MB

Marshall Wootton joined us before the lockdown to sing a few show tunes and wow us with his knowledge of music theory. We discuss the intricacies of moss copulation and bee sex for Biology's "Name That Boner", and we all flounder to recall many (any?) details about famous wars and conflicts during "I Have A Question" for History class. The Texas native trash talks the Alamo (apparently not worth the trip!) and we all have a good laugh about Lindsey getting hurt on stage. He basically calls t...

25. Future Egyptologist - Lauren Bancroft

April 06, 2020 09:48 - 1 hour - 56.6 MB

Comedian and ‘Doctor Who’ cosplayer Lauren Bancroft joins us to talk about famous people fucking in History class during the game "Historical Hookups", inspired by her podcast of the same name. Kelly makes Lindsey and Lauren wear those godforsaken dental mouth openers during a rousing "Spelling Bee Hard" with sixth grade spelling words, and in Recess we play MASHY and discuss Lauren's potential future as an Egyptologist. For Geography we play "True Or Bullshit" with facts about New England (...

24. Recovered Mean Girl - Ellen Etten

March 30, 2020 07:01 - 1 hour - 107 MB

*Recorded Before The Apocolypse* This week comedian, actress, and writer Ellen Etten joins us to talk about her history as a mean girl and subsequent fall from grace. We also break down which states touch each other and where, and the power of pubescent prayer. Ellen dominates the Social Studies game "Ellen Or Etten'' with a surprising reveal about one of her famous family members, and reveals her obsession with radishes during the game "The Radish Report'' in Gardening Class, which ends...

23. Best Chemist - Kara Klenk

March 23, 2020 18:26 - 1 hour - 51.7 MB

It may feel like the world is ending but good news - Fuck You, I’m Smarter isn't going anywhere! This week we sit down with super funny comedian - and our Resident Chemist - Kara Klenk. (Don’t worry! We recorded this before we were quarantined so no one was infected in the making of this podcast). Let’s begin, class! First, Kara tells us she's no good at science, only to win the game “It’s Elementary My Dear” in elementary level Chemistry Class. She then shows off her Mom-Knowledge in Home ...

22. St. Patrick’s Day Special

March 16, 2020 07:25 - 48 minutes - 35.7 MB

Sanitize your hands, mix yourself a quarantini, and queue up our St. Patty’s Day Special. We learn about the history of the holiday and how Americans ruined it, find out some St. Patrick’s Day Hot Goss of past and present (Did you know St. Patrick was not actually Irish?) and learn some fun Irish expressions you can use to describe how extra everyone is being about toilet paper. Stay safe out there, kids. Check out the show’s Instagram feed: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Fol...

21. Carole Montgomery Was The School Mascot

March 09, 2020 14:55 - 45 minutes - 33.1 MB

This week, Kelly and Lindsey sit down with Carole Montgomery, creator of Showtime’s ‘Funny Women Of A Certain Age’ to talk in French about cheerleading. Pom-PON, anyone? They find out Carole isn’t as good at math as she once believed, and that she literally knows nothing about menopause, despite what her hot flashes might tell you. Watch ‘More Funny Women Of A Certain Age’ on Showtime, Saturday, March 14th. Carole’s Instagram: https://instagram.com/carolemontgomerycomic Check out the s...

20. Cassidy Davis vs. Mallory Fuccella

March 02, 2020 08:00 - 1 hour - 70.4 MB

Cassidy Davis and Mallory Fuccella, the masterminds behind the hilarious web series, ‘Adulting’, join us this week on FYIS. When we get into it, we find out that one of these ladies used to wear black and had a deep connection with many of her teachers (Hint: Rhymes with Tallory), while the other LOVED school. Like, LOVED it. (Hint: It's the other one) In Driver's Ed, we play the game "Dad, What Is My Car Doing?", where we find out who would survive in a desert by living off of only the con...

19. Best Limbs - Barry Rothbart

February 25, 2020 07:17 - 1 hour - 46.9 MB

This week, Kelly and Lindsey sit down with comedian and actor Barry Rothbart to talk about God and the meaning of life, the origin story of his childhood nickname, "Diaper Boy", and the nebulous rules of Rock Paper Scissors. In World Religions class, "which religion is the oldest" is hotly debated...until they ask Google. In Zoology class we learn the little known *fact* that Barry played the Wolf in 'The Wolf of Wall Street' and does a KILLER impression of tortoises having sex, and during ...

18. Erica Farnsworth vs. Shelley Carling

February 18, 2020 09:41 - 1 hour - 53.6 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey are super excited to have the hosts of the popular and super funny podcast, Let’s Read Our Diaries, Erica Farnsworth and Shelley Carling. The besties go head to head in Chorus class where we learn the difference between a chorus and a choir! Who knew? Next, we head to Science class to play “Let’s Experiment”, where we talk about making a volcano but don’t and then wish we had all the ingredients. Next time we’re making the volcano. Erica and Shelley share some sup...

17. Most Likely To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse - Casey Gates Frey

February 10, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 59.8 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey welcome Casey Gates Frey, the mastermind behind the film initiative Lady Brain and Brand Manager for digital content studio Whohaha, co-founded by Elizabeth Banks. We start our school day in science class with a game called “Lady Brains” where we discover that while female brains are smaller than male brains, they are more connected, so take that! To celebrate Casey recently tying the knot, we play “Power Couples From The Bible” in Religion Class and learn that th...

16. Rose Surnow Is A Hipster Musician

February 03, 2020 08:19 - 1 hour - 54.3 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey welcome Rose Surnow (@RoseSurnow) of the ‘Sex And The City’-inspired podcast “Couldn’t Help But Wonder” to talk about sexual fetishes in Sex Ed class and the history of sex in New York City. Rose dominates “The REAL Housewives of D.C.” game in Social Studies and Rose and Lindsey talk about life as “undercover Jews”. They play “Never Have I Ever” in Recess and explore creative ways to talk about having a threesome with your ex-boyfriend and his mom in “Shakespeare ...

15. Mike B vs. Kaitlin Parry

January 27, 2020 18:11 - 1 hour - 52.7 MB

Kelly and Lindsey invite DJ Mike B (@theemikebdj) and photographer Kaitlin Parry (@shootpeople_) over to talk about Katy Perry's nunnery and the history of cat photos. They learn about the many dangers of vintage and modern photography, that Yorkshire and New York have a lot of similar-sounding town names in “Boarding Pass or Fail”, and that Mike is a late 90’s EDM tune-naming savant in music class. Plus a visit from the former President of D.A.R.E. herself to teach them all about the danger...

14. Best Clavicles - Adam Newman

January 20, 2020 09:00 - 1 hour - 44.5 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey play FYIS with stand up comedian Adam Newman. They discuss religion, Adam's stunning clavicles, and how to lubricate their bones in Anatomy class. We find out what's wrong with Adam's penis in Sex Ed class during the game "Penis Problems", discuss the horrors of American History, and learn about some surprising "ologies" in Science class. Plus a riveting karaoke rendition of Third Eye Blind's "The Jumper" for Recess and a fully nauseating account of a 90's whit...

13. Future Dinosaur Hunter - Shawn DePasquale

January 13, 2020 04:52 - 1 hour - 50.1 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite writer, director, comic book author and Chief Creative Officer of Bunny Ears, Shawn DePasquale to play with them. Shawn, a South Florida native, shows off his South Florida knowledge in Geography class when we play "CaliFlorida" and schools Lindsey in a game all about ska bands, proving once and for all that he is as Ska as it gets. In honor of his job at Macaulay Culkin's satirical website Bunny Ears, we play "The Rabbit Report" and do a deep dive into Old...

12. Most Likely To Rave - David Cope

January 07, 2020 00:14 - 1 hour - 60.3 MB

This week, Kelly and Lindsey host comedian, former club kid, and current accountant David Cope. David - also also an uncredited co-creator of this podcast - talks about his experiences and perspectives on comedy and the Los Angeles Electronic Dance Music scene. Listen as David dazzles us with his knowledge of the surrealist art movement, Kelly impresses everyone with her spot-on renditions of famous electronic songs for, and we discover the meaning of some common idioms in “Language Arts”...

11. Most Athletic - Leah Dubie

December 30, 2019 18:57 - 1 hour - 55.6 MB

Kelly and Lindsey are so excited to have Boston's best, Leah Dubie, on FYIS. Leah takes us back to her childhood and tells us what it was like to have teachers for parents. We play a new game called 'Plagues Play' where we learn that both Lindsey and Leah know almost nothing about plagues. Spoiler: All they knew was that rats were somehow involved. Against Leah's wishes, we pay tribute to Russia in Geography class with 'The Russia Report' and Leah kills in English class with our Kelsey Gramm...

10. The F*ck You, I’m Smarter Hanukkah and Christmas Special

December 23, 2019 05:30 - 56 minutes - 74.9 MB

In this festive special, Kelly and Lindsey reminisce about the ghosts of holidays past and how crucial self-care is around this most wonderfully daunting time of year. Lindsey quizzes Kelly on her Hanukkah knowledge. Spoiler: She knows a lot. Lindsey learns that she knows way more about Christmas than she thought - her Catholic Nana would be so proud! They play “Jew or Goy” and “Name That Boner: Christmas Edition”. This episode is dedicated to Adam Sandler. Thank you for writing the best Ha...

9. Nick Turner vs. Nick Vatterott

December 15, 2019 22:52 - 1 hour - 55.2 MB

This week is a very special episode of FYIS because Kelly and Lindsey invite not one guest, but two! Mr. Nick Turner and Mr. Nick Vatterott tell us what it's like sharing the same name as well as the same podcast, 'Get Rich Nick' on Earwolf. Nick and Nick go head-to-head on Greek Mythology, mess with some math problems, and get creative with some summer reading/TGIF sitcom mashups. We hear all about how Nick went to Catholic school and how Nick "killed" on the Forensics team. We learn that N...

8. Clayton Farris Is A True Artist

December 09, 2019 03:17 - 1 hour - 51.5 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite Vine star, Instastar, actor and content creator Clayton Farris. We play 'Boarding Pass or Fail' where we learn that Clayton knows where Djibouti is AND how to pronounce it! During 'Name That Boner' we learn he does not have penis envy and when we play 'Sign Your Life Away', he confesses that he actually reads the iTunes Terms and Conditions. Clayton teaches us how to "Tittle-tattle the hedge-priest" during 'Shakespeare Shenanigans' and we read him his Mira...

7. Most Likely To Save The Ocean - Justin P

December 02, 2019 11:35 - 54 minutes - 36.6 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite one of Kelly's oldest and bestest friends, Justin P. to “F*ck You, I’m Smarter”. They reminisce about their childhood, growing up in sunny South Florida as two angry goth kids. Kelly makes a second attempt at explaining Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Justin schools us in Stock Market facts in the game "Stocked and Loaded", and we force Justin to play "Pussy Power". Justin proves he knows a little about Physics, a lot about Earth Science, and a surprising...

6. ‘Undercover Class Clown’ - Jason Sáenz

November 25, 2019 06:00 - 53 minutes - 37.9 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite comedian, writer, and mastermind of Sáenz Signs, Jason Sáenz! Jason, who was once an undercover class clown, realized he wanted to be a comedian during a high school production of Anything Goes when he went off script and started making funnies. He threw off his tap shoes and the rest is history. Jason dominates the game and shows off his knowledge of STDS (Yay Syphilis!), The Stock Market (Bull vs. Bear vs. Freddy?) and does a mean Abe Lincoln impression. ...

6. Undercover Class Clown - Jason Sáenz

November 25, 2019 06:00 - 53 minutes - 37.9 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite comedian, writer, and mastermind of Sáenz Signs, Jason Sáenz! Jason, who was once an undercover class clown, realized he wanted to be a comedian during a high school production of Anything Goes when he went off script and started making funnies. He threw off his tap shoes and the rest is history. Jason dominates the game and shows off his knowledge of STDS (Yay Syphilis!), The Stock Market (Bull vs. Bear vs. Freddy?) and does a mean Abe Lincoln impression. ...

5. Kelly & Lindsey: Special Florida Women Episode

November 18, 2019 05:15 - 1 hour - 40.6 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite American science communicator, television presenter, and mechanical engineer Bill Nye The Science Guy! Just kidding. They didn't invite anyone this week and they are doing this episode of FYIS SOLO! Kelly and Lindsey host this special Florida episode and talk about what life was like being raised in South Florida. They discuss super fun topics like the KKK, The Zika Virus, sinkholes, and The West Nile Virus. Spoiler Alert: There is also a whole lot of ga...

4. Miranda Kathleen is Best All-Around

November 11, 2019 05:15 - 1 hour - 47.1 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite comedian, actress, writer, and producer Miranda Kathleen to the pod, where she demonstrates that she really is BEST ALL-AROUND as well as the "Smartest Person In The Room". Miranda proves that she is ready to buy a house, knows a lot of triangles and she may even have perfect pitch. Ok, maybe that's a stretch. Lindsey and Kelly prove they don't know the Star Wars or Rocky theme songs but they nail Do-Re-Me. There's talk of Cake, the food and the band, ...

3. Most Independent - Sharon Houston

November 04, 2019 05:15 - 47 minutes - 34.1 MB

This week Kelly and Lindsey invite comedian, actress, writer, producer, and "PODClass" teacher Sharon Houston to compete for the esteemed superlative "Smartest Person In The Room". The native Floridian knows a thing or two about escaping from alligators and flying cockroaches, and un-ironically, the Me Too movement. We learn a little bit about Einstein's Theory of Relativity, as well as the modern-day parallels of tabloids and the works of Shakespeare. Find Sharon online! Website: ht...

2. Best Hair - Kendra Cunningham

October 28, 2019 04:01 - 59 minutes - 38.1 MB

This week, ‘F*ck You, I’m Smarter’ welcomes producer, comedian, writer, and friend, Kendra Cunningham to compete for Smartest Person in the Room with hosts Kelly Wallace-Barnhill and Lindsey Gentile. Kendra shares her current projects released at the Broad Humor Festivaland a very special story about an incident at a community pool. The Boston native reveals her competitive side playing “Boarding Pass or Fail”, “99 Math Problems”, "The Real Housewives of DC" and “Did You Retain It”. Hint: Sh...

1. Tim Pallazola was a Teacher’s Pet

October 21, 2019 12:00 - 49 minutes - 34.1 MB

Tim talks about growing up in a small town in Virginia as a closeted, vogueing, over-achiever. Kelly and Lindsey talk about what it was like to grow up in South Florida. Spoiler: A South Florida education is basically the reason they started this podcast. In Sex Ed they learn that Tim doesn’t have a Skene’s gland, they dive into some Shakespeare madlibs, and they play a game called “Not My Current President” to learn about historical political scandals. They talk technicolor dream coats, bi...

1. Tim Palazzola was a Teacher's Pet

October 19, 2019 02:29 - 48 minutes - 33.9 MB

Tim talks about growing up in a small town in Virginia as a closeted, vogueing, over-achiever. Kelly and Lindsey talk about what it was like to grow up in South Florida. Spoiler: A South Florida education is basically the reason they started this podcast. In Sex Ed they learn that Tim doesn’t have a Skene’s gland, they dive into some Shakespeare mad-libs, and they play a game called “Not My Current President” to learn about historical political scandals. They talk technicolor dream coats, b...