Dear Sugars
367 episodes - English - Latest episode: 6 days ago - ★★★★★ - 5.5K ratingsRadically empathic advice. Produced by WBUR.
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Episodes
Redux: Does 'The Wicked Stepmother' Still Feel Wicked?
July 31, 2020 16:44 - 49 minutes - 45.4 MBThe Sugars revisit a letter from a woman who felt like a fairytale-esque wicked stepmother. When she wrote to the Sugars, she was feeling pressured to love her stepchildren "like her own," but she didn't want to be their mother. The Sugars find out how the self-proclaimed 'Wicked Stepmother' and her husband are doing today. This episode was originally released on August 19th, 2016.
Dear Sugars Presents: Loneliness In A Socially Distant World
July 16, 2020 14:05 - 13 minutes - 12.5 MBFormer U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy talks with the Kind World team about the startling effects of chronic loneliness and how we can combat this public health concern -- even in a socially distant world.
Redux: An Update From 'Head Or The Heart'
July 10, 2020 17:54 - 33 minutes - 30.9 MBThe Sugars get an update from "Head or the Heart" -- a woman who'd fallen in love with a man with a troubled childhood. She worried that the traumas of his past could surface at some point in their relationship. Nine months later, is she still with her boyfriend? The Sugars find out. This episode was originally published on August 12th, 2016.
Redux: An Update From 'Two Truths And Many Lies'
July 02, 2020 16:04 - 49 minutes - 45.2 MBThe Sugars catch up with "Two Truths and Many Lies," whose letter about her husband's infidelity generated significant interest and advice from our listeners. Did she stay with her husband or walk away? The Sugars find out.
Redux: Sexual Fluidity
June 26, 2020 20:02 - 42 minutes - 38.9 MB"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. This episode was originally published on March 3rd, 2017.
Redux: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me
June 19, 2020 17:41 - 30 minutes - 28.4 MBDivorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side.
Redux: The Writer's Resist, Part 2
June 12, 2020 18:19 - 29 minutes - 27.1 MBPart 2 of "Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist" at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. They discuss how to counteract post-election cynicism with Zahir Janmohamed, writer and co-host of the podcast "Racist Sandwich," and they answer questions from the audience in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally released on January 27th, 2017.
Redux: The Writers Resist
June 05, 2020 15:50 - 37 minutes - 34.1 MBOn November 9th, 2016 -- the day after Donald Trump became America's President-elect -- the Dear Sugar inbox was flooded with emails asking some version of the question, "How do we move forward as a nation from here?" In this episode, the Sugars bring that question before an audience at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. This episode was originally released on January 20th, 2017.
Redux: Friendships
May 29, 2020 16:36 - 41 minutes - 38 MBEveryone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics.
Redux: How Do I Find the Courage to Be My Own Guide?
May 22, 2020 14:31 - 26 minutes - 24.6 MBThe Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question -- how to follow your heart. This episode was originally released July 28th, 2016.
Redux: What About The Stepchildren?
May 15, 2020 15:32 - 40 minutes - 36.8 MBWhen the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? The Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. They're joined by Jane Alison, author of the memoir "The Sisters Antipodes," which tells the story of how her parents swapped spouses with another couple when she was 4 years ol...
Redux: May-December Romances
May 08, 2020 19:47 - 29 minutes - 27.4 MBAge is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship — both in positive and challenging ways.
Dear Sugars Presents: Madness
May 04, 2020 16:19 - 27 minutes - 25.2 MB"Madness" is a new investigative series from our fellow WBUR podcast, Endless Thread. Told in 5 parts, "Madness" unravels the shocking history of CIA-funded mind-control experiments. In the first episode, Endless Thread presents powerful accounts of abuse at a psychiatric hospital in Montreal, and introduces the renowned doctor who conducted these disturbing experiments on his unwitting patients.
Redux: Step Into Your Spotlight
May 01, 2020 17:56 - 36 minutes - 33.7 MBWe find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. The Sugars find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago. The episode was originally released on February 3rd, 2018.
Redux: Change Is A Work In Progress
April 24, 2020 15:56 - 35 minutes - 32.5 MBIn today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago. This episode was originally published on January 27th, 2018.
Redux: Should I Stay Or Go?
April 17, 2020 18:36 - 34 minutes - 31.4 MBThe Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move. This episode was originally released on September 9, 2016.
Episodes We Love: Saying Goodbye
April 10, 2020 18:08 - 33 minutes - 30.6 MBIt's never easy saying goodbye to our loved ones, but it can be especially painful when a goodbye is drawn out by illness. This week, the Sugars answer two letters dealing with the guilt and heartache involved in a long goodbye to a parent. They're joined by Robin Romm, author of the memoir "The Mercy Papers," which tells the story of her mother's death from cancer. This episode was originally published on September 16th, 2016.
Dear Sugars Presents: Sugar Calling
April 10, 2020 14:07 - 9 minutes - 8.91 MBHear the first episode of the New York Times podcast “Sugar Calling,” featuring our own Cheryl Strayed.
Episodes We Love: The Great Reckoning
April 03, 2020 17:45 - 51 minutes - 47.2 MBDear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018.
Dear Sugars Presents: Good Life Project
April 03, 2020 14:24 - 8 minutes - 8.18 MBEvery week, the Good Life Project podcast from Jonathan Fields and Wondery shares inspirational, intimate and unfiltered conversations about what it really takes to live a good life. Host Jonathan Fields chats with world-shakers like Elizabeth Gilbert, Brene Brown, Cleo Wade, Adam Grant, Glennon Doyle, and Gretchen Rubin as well as everyday guests. Subscribe today.
Episodes We Love: Emotional Abuse
March 27, 2020 17:44 - 48 minutes - 44.1 MBReema Zaman, our guest in this week’s episode, was in an emotionally abusive marriage. Although her husband’s abuses never left any physical mark, it took her years to repair the damage he inflicted upon her. Ms. Zaman describes some of the telltale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners. This episode was originally released on August 4th, 2018.
Dear Sugars Presents: A 'Kind World' For Troubled Times
March 20, 2020 18:08 - 12 minutes - 11.7 MBTake a listen to our sister podcast, Kind World.
Dear Sugars Presents: Family Ghosts
March 13, 2020 16:09 - 49 minutes - 45.3 MBDear Sugars wants to tell you about another great podcast: Family Ghosts, a show where people tell stories about experiences that transform their understanding of familial legacy. On this recent episode, a storyteller named David Crabb took a unique approach to that concept, telling the story of three dogs in his life and how they've shaped his perception of what it means to start a family and be a part of one.
Dear Sugars Presents: WorkLife With Adam Grant
March 06, 2020 21:11 - 33 minutes - 30.7 MBDear Sugars wants to tell you about another great podcast: WorkLife with Adam Grant from TED. In the episode, Adam Grant speaks with Cheryl Strayed about getting and giving advice about our work lives. Season 3 launches next week, so get ready for ideas about how to procrastinate less, fight burnout, fix broken job interviews, and negotiate better.
Episodes We Love: Moving On, Part Two
February 28, 2020 14:54 - 43 minutes - 39.8 MBIn this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a letter from a woman who calls herself a "serial codependent," as well as a woman who is haunted by her abortion. This episode was originally published on August 25th, 2018.
Episodes We Love: Moving On, Part 1
February 21, 2020 19:20 - 46 minutes - 42.9 MBThe Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of their two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones. This episode was originally released on August 18th, 2018.
Episodes We Love: A Night Of Bad Stories
February 14, 2020 17:44 - 41 minutes - 38.1 MBDear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another raucous and uplifting live show. The Sugars get a surprising update from a letter writer from their past; discuss a new letter with a special guest, Omar El Akkad; and ask the audience, “What’s the ‘bad story’ you tell yourself?” “Bad Stories,” the title of Steve Almond’s new book, are the false narratives we tell ourselves that undermine our happiness. “You’ve got to revise those narratives,” encourages Cheryl Strayed. “You have the capac...
Episodes We Love: The Long Goodbye
February 07, 2020 19:55 - 28 minutes - 26.2 MBAfter four years of ministering to the lost, lonely and heartsick, the Sugars say farewell on this final episode of the podcast. We take a look back at some of our most powerful advice, hear from former guests, and talk to listeners about how the show has affected their lives. This episode was originally released on September 1st, 2018.
Dear Sugars Presents: As Me
January 31, 2020 23:54 - 49 minutes - 45.2 MBDear Sugars wants to tell you about another great podcast: As Me with Sinead Burke. What’s the first step towards becoming more empathetic? Listening. Academic, TED alum, fashion enthusiast, and advocate Sinéad Burke leads candid conversations with diverse, notable guests who explain what it’s like to be them. They challenge us to confront our biases, deepen our humanity, and feel empowered to impact and change the world around us.
Episodes We Love: Young & Isolated
January 24, 2020 21:26 - 44 minutes - 40.8 MBFeeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence. But in today’s episode, we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One girl is home-schooled and suffers from social anxiety. Another feels disconnected from her best friend, who has suddenly become popular at school. Both letter writers wonder if they’ll ever feel comfortable in their own skin. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her o...
Episodes We Love: Love & Money
January 17, 2020 17:50 - 44 minutes - 40.7 MBWhen it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? The Sugars take on 5 letters in this rapid-fire episode. This episode was originally released on July 21st, 2018.
Episodes We Love: Talking About Privilege
January 10, 2020 19:18 - 28 minutes - 26.2 MBPrivilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice. This episode was originally published on August 11th, 2018.
Dear Sugars Presents: Food, We Need To Talk
January 03, 2020 17:37 - 22 minutes - 20.8 MBone woman's quest to end her war with food. Hosts Juna Gjata and Dr. Eddie Phillips wield solid science, medical knowledge, common sense and an endless supply of dad jokes to teach us how to eat better and feel better about it. Hint: it's not dieting. A new podcast from WBUR. To subscribe: http://hyperurl.co/mj567n
Episodes We Love: There's Just One Thing
December 27, 2019 16:42 - 40 minutes - 37.4 MBIn this "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they’re dating. A black woman is dating a white man who is unwilling to talk about race issues, claiming that she’s “too sensitive.” Another woman’s boyfriend, a Christian, is having second thoughts about dating her because she’s an atheist. The Sugars tackle these issues and more, and weigh in on which can be ironed out and which should be deal breakers. This episode...
Episodes We Love: Who's Your Daddy?
December 20, 2019 14:56 - 40 minutes - 37.2 MBWhen Steve Lickteig turned 18, he learned that his mother and father, who he thought were his adoptive parents, are in fact his biological grandparents. With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, more and more people are having revelations like Mr. Lickteig’s. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they’re shocking and unwanted. In today’s episode, Mr. Lickteig shares his story and helps the Sugars advise letter wri...
Episodes We Love: Emotional Labor
December 13, 2019 19:50 - 44 minutes - 40.5 MBRemembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. The Sugars commiserate with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.” This episode was originally p...
Dear Sugars Presents: Free To Be Childfree
December 06, 2019 18:20 - 42 minutes - 39.4 MBFrom our partners at WBUR, Endless Thread is a podcast featuring amazing stories found on Reddit. This story is about a growing movement that hits close to home. It's about the hundreds of thousands of people who are choosing to be childfree -- to never have kids. This choice is becoming more common, yet it's still questioned ferociously.
Episodes We Love: Trust Your Body
November 27, 2019 16:57 - 42 minutes - 38.5 MB“It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope. This episode was originally released on June 11th, 2018.
Episodes We Love: Sex & Aging
November 22, 2019 16:48 - 36 minutes - 33.6 MBThe erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018.
Episodes We Love: Just Say It
November 15, 2019 15:11 - 28 minutes - 26.2 MBWords can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words. This episode was originally released on December 9th, 2017.
Dear Sugars Presents: Hot And Bothered
November 08, 2019 17:36 - 33 minutes - 30.8 MBIn this special episode of Dear Sugars, Steve Almond is a featured guest on the Spoke Media podcast "Hot and Bothered."
Dear Sugars Presents: A Place Of Respite
November 01, 2019 17:55 - 14 minutes - 13.6 MBDear Sugars' sister podcast, Kind World, recently produced a special series featuring stories of kindness and compassion at the U.S.-Mexico border. It's called "Lifelines" and tells stories of ordinary people who've stepped up in extraordinary ways during an ongoing humanitarian crisis. This story is called, "A Place Of Respite."
Episodes We Love: I'm In Love With My Abuser
October 25, 2019 17:19 - 26 minutes - 24.2 MBThe Sugars answer a voicemail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you? This episode was originally released on April 21st, 2018.
Episodes We Love: Rage Is A Red Lesson
October 18, 2019 15:50 - 40 minutes - 37.3 MBShortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer Online,” the Sugars enlist her help to answer Tantrum Daughter’s letter. This episode was originally released on May 12th, 2018.
Episodes We Love: A Spy In The House Of Love
October 11, 2019 17:26 - 33 minutes - 30.5 MBSnooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars answer this question with the help of writer Ariel Levy. This episode was originally released on December 2nd, 2017
Dear Sugars Presents: How To! With Charles Duhigg
October 04, 2019 16:53 - 28 minutes - 26.5 MBIn this special episode of Dear Sugars, Cheryl Strayed is a featured guest on the Slate podcast How To! with Charles Duhigg. We hear from Megan who is 35 years old, a lawyer, happily married — and suddenly not sure if she wants to be a mom. She always figured one day the maternal urge would kick in, but so far she’s only felt ambivalence. Does that mean that she shouldn’t have a baby? Cheryl tells us how she juggled this question when there is no going back, and how regret — regardless of wh...
Episodes We Love: Cutting The Financial Cord
September 30, 2019 13:30 - 30 minutes - 27.9 MBAt age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale. This episode was originally released on December 23rd, 2017.
Episodes We Love: The Ugly Truth
September 21, 2019 19:56 - 34 minutes - 32 MBMost of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. The writer Ariel Henley joins the Sugars to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome. As a child, she underwent dozens of surgeries that permanently changed the shape of her face. This episode was originally released December 16th, 2017.
Episodes We Love: Lovers & Friends
September 16, 2019 12:44 - 42 minutes - 39.1 MBIt’s healthy to cultivate friendships outside of your romantic relationships. But sometimes, they can be the source of jealousy and resentment. So when is jealousy actually justified? In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on this question and offer ways to confront and neutralize feelings of jealousy. This episode was originally released on March 31st, 2018.
Episodes We Love: The Double Bind Of Female Ambition
September 06, 2019 18:23 - 23 minutes - 21.4 MBThe Sugars are joined by Hillary Clinton to answer a letter about female ambition. This episode was originally released on November 18th, 2017.