Dear Sugars artwork

Dear Sugars

374 episodes - English - Latest episode: 20 days ago - ★★★★ - 7 ratings

Radically empathic advice. Produced by WBUR.

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Episodes

Dear Sugar: How Do I Stop Lying?

June 29, 2015 08:22 - 27 minutes - 25.3 MB

The Sugars take on a letter from a young woman who is a habitual liar — telling her friends about imagined experiences of rape and loss. The lying always seems to happen at a moment of emotional connectedness, when the letter writer wishes to share her feelings of sadness and depression, but struggles to find the right language to do so.

Dear Sugar: How Do I Stop Lying?

June 29, 2015 08:22 - 27 minutes - 25.3 MB

The Sugars take on a letter from a young woman who is a habitual liar — telling her friends about imagined experiences of rape and loss. The lying always seems to happen at a moment of emotional connectedness, when the letter writer wishes to share her feelings of sadness and depression, but struggles to find the right language to do so.

How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?

June 23, 2015 22:30 - 49 minutes - 45.1 MB

We all know the narrative of the good father. That's the father we all want, but it's not the father we all got. The Sugars take two questions on fatherhood — from a new father who fears that his depression will be felt by his baby daughter, and from a young woman who yearns for a deeper connection with her distant father.

More Money, More Problems

June 13, 2015 10:40 - 38 minutes - 35.5 MB

Money makes us crazy. In this episode, the Sugars take questions from two letter writers struggling with complicated relationships to money. The first, an aspiring playwright, feels guilty about all the advantages that her parents' wealth has provided to her. The second, a divorced mother, is unable to control her spending and on the verge of bankruptcy.

Dear Sugar: Am I Too Young To Get Married?

June 03, 2015 08:16 - 13 minutes - 12.4 MB

In this short episode, the Sugars take a question from a young woman who is engaged to the man she's been with since she was 19. As a child of divorce, whose parents were married young, the letter writer knows that there are risks.

The Wounded Child Within

May 24, 2015 08:28 - 23 minutes - 21.6 MB

Are we ever able to fully let go of our past? The Sugars address a letter writer grappling with that essential question. At 68 years old, she is troubled to recognize that her life is still being influenced by her early experience with an alcoholic father. The Sugars are joined by a Freudian psychoanalyst, who also happens to be Steve's father.

The Wounded Child Within

May 24, 2015 08:28 - 23 minutes - 21.6 MB

Are we ever able to fully let go of our past? The Sugars address a letter writer grappling with that essential question. At 68 years old, she is troubled to recognize that her life is still being influenced by her early experience with an alcoholic father. The Sugars are joined by a Freudian psychoanalyst, who also happens to be Steve's father.

The Land Of The In-Law

May 19, 2015 07:10 - 53 minutes - 49.2 MB

Entering into another family is like entering into another culture — with its own codes, expectations, and set of rules. Naturally, it's a situation ripe for conflict and contention. The Sugars field questions from two letter writers dealing with fraught in-law relationships.

Dear Sugar: I'm Sleeping With Younger Men

May 10, 2015 05:00 - 15 minutes - 13.9 MB

The Sugars take a question from a woman in her forties who lives a second life. She is known as a professional, PTA-going mom — but she's secretly sleeping with significantly younger men. She's beginning to question whether her behavior is healthy. Meanwhile, her "real" life is in a state of crisis.

When Friendships End

May 03, 2015 03:18 - 33 minutes - 30.6 MB

Friendships are different from any other type of relationship in our lives. They are purely voluntary, and so can feel more tenuous. Do you tell a friend if you are unhappy with the relationship, or do you just leave? And if you do leave, how do you break up with a friend? In this episode, the Sugars field questions from two letter writers who both feel exhausted by a friendship, and want out.

Former Hellraisers (Should We Share Our Past With Our Children?)

April 26, 2015 01:16 - 29 minutes - 27.2 MB

The Sugars respond to a letter from a woman whose teenage son has discovered her high-school yearbook — filled with stories of bad behavior from her past life. In answering the letter, the Sugars are joined by the poet and author Mary Karr, who has written three memoirs about her reckless youth and raised a son who was intimately familiar with those years.

Dear Sugar: I'm Bad At Breaking Up

April 11, 2015 23:54 - 15 minutes - 14.1 MB

In this short episode, the Sugars take a question from a young man whose ex-girlfriends have felt blindsided when he ended the relationships. He is questioning his intuition - having ended the relationships because he felt there wasn't a future with these women, but wondering if he just wasn't articulating his needs to them.

Big Love (Polyamory And Its Discontents)

April 05, 2015 07:16 - 43 minutes - 40.2 MB

The Sugars field questions from two letter writers in polyamorous relationships, facing two very different challenges. One woman is feeling guilty that she is taking more advantage of the arrangement than her husband; the other has fallen in love with her polyamorous boyfriend and now longs for monogamy.

Dear Sugar: My Brother Is Too Affectionate With His Boyfriend

March 28, 2015 20:30 - 11 minutes - 10.6 MB

The Sugars take a question from a woman whose brother has recently come out to the family. He and his boyfriend sit on each other's laps and kiss in front of the family - which bothers the letter writer's sister, who doesn't want to explain homosexuality to her two-year-old son.

The Hidden Worlds Of Guilt And Shame

March 21, 2015 09:40 - 31 minutes - 28.9 MB

Many of us spend huge amounts of our emotional resources hiding the things we feel guilty or ashamed about. In this episode, the Sugars field questions from two letter writers beginning to acknowledge some hidden shame - a woman who is obsessed with the time she spent caring for a sick friend and a woman who has spent 15 years uncertain if a sexual encounter was rape.

Dear Sugar: How Do I Survive The Critics?

March 14, 2015 03:52 - 27 minutes - 25 MB

The Sugars take on the pain that comes with being judged for one's work, and the ways in which we can learn from even the most brutal of judgments. They're joined by the writer George Saunders, who helps field a question from an author feeling crushed by first reviews. Saunders recalls his own first experience of being publicly condemned, which sent him down to his basement for three days.

Dear Sugar: How Do I Survive The Critics?

March 14, 2015 03:52 - 27 minutes - 25 MB

The Sugars take on the pain that comes with being judged for one's work, and the ways in which we can learn from even the most brutal of judgments. They're joined by the writer George Saunders, who helps field a question from an author feeling crushed by first reviews. Saunders recalls his own first experience of being publicly condemned, which sent him down to his basement for three days.

The Family We Carry

March 01, 2015 01:40 - 37 minutes - 34.1 MB

The Sugars field questions from a new mother who walked in on her alcoholic father relapsing in her home, and from a woman grappling with how to be childless in a society in which parenthood is so revered. They're joined by the writer Elizabeth Gilbert, who made the decision not to have children.

Making Love

February 14, 2015 04:52 - 43 minutes - 39.7 MB

The Sugars celebrate Valentine's Day by fielding questions from a married woman whose long-dormant passions have been reignited by an old high-school boyfriend, and from a young woman struggling with whether to leave behind her cheating, closeted girlfriend.

The Deal Killer

February 08, 2015 00:00 - 40 minutes - 36.7 MB

The Sugars explore the deal killer — the thing that turns out to be the limit, that is too much for a relationship to withstand. They field questions from a woman tiring of her boyfriend's severe anxiety, a grieving young woman whose boyfriend is jealous of her dead ex, and a man deeply ashamed of his obsessive desire to make a woman pregnant.

The Deal Killer

February 08, 2015 00:00 - 40 minutes - 36.7 MB

The Sugars explore the deal killer — the thing that turns out to be the limit, that is too much for a relationship to withstand. They field questions from a woman tiring of her boyfriend's severe anxiety, a grieving young woman whose boyfriend is jealous of her dead ex, and a man deeply ashamed of his obsessive desire to make a woman pregnant.

The Two Stories We Tell

January 23, 2015 22:42 - 51 minutes - 47.1 MB

The Sugars explore the two stories we tell — the story of how we want to be seen, the public self, and the story of who we really are inside, the private self. They field questions from a feminist struggling to reconcile her stories in the wake of an emotionally abusive relationship, and from a twenty-something virgin who has spent her life letting her family write her story.

Dear Sugar: I'm Addicted To Painkillers

January 10, 2015 04:40 - 12 minutes - 11.5 MB

The Sugars take a question from a new mother who is secretly addicted to painkillers, but afraid that she can't be the mom and wife she wants to be without them.

Dear Sugar, Episode 1: Meet The Sugars

December 15, 2014 09:54 - 54 minutes - 49.5 MB

In the pilot episode, the Sugars field questions on a father’s infidelity, how many children is too many, and whether a relationship can survive when one partner is smarter than the other.